What makes LOVE unconditional? - Page 5

Originally posted by: boreddamsel

@Bold.. 👏 We love someone 'coz they meet our expectations.. but then if they do meet our expectations, don't we love them against all odds.. i mean through mood swings, through bad hair days.. through stress.. isn't that what unconditional love is?

Amen.. to the last sentence!

Originally posted by: McNinja

Why is Arti getting the credit for guiding Gayu. I was there showing her the way long before any of you cradle snatchers 😡

Anyway, more than love...a mutual respect, understanding, and sense of responsibility to each other should be there. To me, this is compatability and I don't think love is a requirement to be good for each other. I still maintain look for things that can grow into love, not love itself.

Romanticized love is what's been causing so much trouble to all you cynics. 😆 That love is fleeting, and hard to maintain. Better off not using it as a standard for love.

U know what arti love is a very over rated thing between a man and a woman... Both the parties demand a certain amount of everything to make that relationship work... A long term and stable relationship depends on how the couple treat their respective partners and what they both bring to that relationship... They work as a couple if the expectations of the both the parties r met or at least met to certain extemt which is keeps them and satisfied, whether they r physical, emotional or financial... After the initial attraction part is over what makes the couple stay together is the dreams and ambitions they share together and r willing to work on the differences they might have.

Physical relation is a very important part of a relationship so they have to be compatible in this area as well.

As far as unconditional love is concerned then sorry to say it doesn't exist in a relationship with your partner, for example u want your partner to be loyal to u and with this first want unconditionality goes out of the window bcz its the first condition u put for that relationship to be successful and so on and so forth... U want your partner to respect u and not treat u like crap so this another condition for the that relationship to progress... I personally believe that every relationship needs certain conditions to make it work and keep it beautiful and fulfilling at the same time.

PS: only unconditional love is parent's love bcz only your parents can love u no matter his good or bad u r... I didn't mention it above as its not the topic of the discussion.

Originally posted by: farheen75

U know what arti love is a very over rated thing between a man and a woman... Both the parties demand a certain amount of everything to make that relationship work... A long term and stable relationship depends on how the couple treat their respective partners and what they both bring to that relationship... They work as a couple if the expectations of the both the parties r met or at least met to certain extemt which is keeps them and satisfied, whether they r physical, emotional or financial... After the initial attraction part is over what makes the couple stay together is the dreams and ambitions they share together and r willing to work on the differences they might have.

Physical relation is a very important part of a relationship so they have to be compatible in this area as well.

As far as unconditional love is concerned then sorry to say it doesn't exist in a relationship with your partner, for example u want your partner to be loyal to u and with this first want unconditionality goes out of the window bcz its the first condition u put for that relationship to be successful and so on and so forth... U want your partner to respect u and not treat u like crap so this another condition for the that relationship to progress... I personally believe that every relationship needs certain conditions to make it work and keep it beautiful and fulfilling at the same time.

PS: only unconditional love is parent's love bcz only your parents can love u no matter his good or bad u r... I didn't mention it above as its not the topic of the discussion.

Originally posted by: BirdieNumNum

for me, it's always love at first sight... every time, all the time till there's new sighting.😆

jokes aside, i think love usually starts off as unconditional. The strings get attached later. Sort of like the attachments people develop over a lifetime.

in many ways, i think relationships and who we pick as partners is not much different from how firms pick employees. It's often random. It can be first impressions, luck, talent, looks, ability, politics, influence, family connections, credentials etc. Ultimately, the longevity of the relationship is based on both sides wanting it to last. The job market might suck so the employee might feel stuck even if the employer is bad. Conversely, the employee might suck but the employer might not have alternatives. Later, the two get so used to each other that they stick together out of inertia, kids, habit. That's sort of a business view, sorry for ruining the romantic notions.😆

Yeah arti at the beginning of any relationship u don't know if the person is the right one or not its like u can't judge a book by its cover similarly u can't judge a person by his/her appearance it can only be done when u start going out together or in case of arrange marriage know after the wedding, but from the start two things r a pre requisite for turning that certain relationship or wedding into a sure shot success and they r respect and trust bcz without these two important things love cannot happen... How can u love somebody without even respecting them and trusting them to not ever hurt u or back stabbing u.

As far as the differences r concerned u should be committed to work on them with your all but if u think that u two song be able to solve them then if they r of very small nature and doesn't hamper your general equation with that person then u learn to adjust and compromise it if they r of huge nature and making u both unhappy and bitter then u should either go for a trial seperation and reassess your priorities and feelings towards each other and in life and see whether ypur partners makes u happy or sad and then take a sensible and desicion or simply end the relationship.

Originally posted by: boreddamsel

Every time there is a "piece" sighting.. eh.. I get it.. 😆

I don't know if love is ever unconditional. When you are attracted to a person, it is usually because something about them fulfills your requirements.. haha.. just like a job interview, bingo 👏 But then there are different rounds of interviews.. if you pass all of the requirements, you make it through. And finally the offer letter with the terms and condition is the marriage proposal! You enter the job, the new job is exciting and things are relaxed and everyone treats you well (the first few months at work is actually called as honeymoon period for the same reason).. Then demands increase.. work gets tough, you get stressed out .. Then slowly the job gets monotonous after a while.. Brilliant analogy and I am loving it so far. 😊

But actually the relationships market is not as terrible as the job market. So you do have the option to quit. Unlike being jobless, being single isn't a bad thing.. in fact I would say its definitely better than suffering through a relationship that you gives you stress!

Originally posted by: BirdieNumNum

i think they are similar in other ways too. There's future uncertainty. One can never be sure how things will turn out when one is "outside" or makes a switch. That's what stops people from taking the plunge every time a new opportunity presents itself. Also, the grass looks greener on the other side many a time but we stay put because we often like to stay with the known devil than the unknown. I know that relating all this in business terms sounds bizarre, but both situations involve people and their assessment of each other. In both situations, we are also trying to optimize/ maximize our well-being.😊 Profit/ wealth optimization in one case, physical/ mental on the other.

Actually it doesn't. It makes more sense to me now. I mean I just posted on another post about choosing careers.. and that makes me realize what we are looking for in a job and in a relationship are the same .. interesting.. I never thought about it. Yeah, sure no physical optimization when it comes to choosing a job, unless one of the job requirements is a hot subordinate or boss 😉

another analogy is like picking stocks. We dont know how the stock will pan out, we just stay with it as long as it is the best performer. Later, people get emotionally invested or married to the investment, so they never look to get out even when they should😆

Agreed.. but it takes time to trust someone.. do we have that much time, especially in an arranged marriage.. isn't that a leap of faith? But yes, love comes with trust and respect.. This takes me back to the discussions we used to have about the show that may not be named!

Arti it takes not more than a year in an arrange marriage to judge your husband and similar is the case with your bf as well or I would rather say that in an arrange marriage u can judge a person more quickly bcz there r no hidden surprises there as the man and woman both don't pretend to be somebody they r not bcz subconsciously they think that the marriage is already done so what's the point of being at your best behaviour all the time and u can't act to be somebody u r not... Secondly I don't think a year is a long time to make a decision abt your whole life.