Marriage is a necessity?

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LovesLowCulture

@LovesLowCulture

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Posted: 12 years ago

#31

Originally posted by: -Iconoclast-
Yes, circumstances. I'm a career-driven single woman in my 20s and I find marriage stifling. The compromise people make in relationships is not for me. It's easy to choose friends, acquintance but you're stuck with a spouse. :) Single status helps me to be moody, lazy, careless...be myself. Unnecessary attachments suffocate me. Though I'd never say never.

Read this some months ago.
http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/books/2012/04/16/120416crbo_books_heller

Thanks for sharing this with me, Iconoclast :) . I'm familiar with Putnam's work and Turkle's older work (when she was still a techno-optimist), but what pleasantly surprised me was Klinenberg's refreshing take on being alone. I think it's very important to make the distinction between "loneliness" and "being alone, " and I'm glad that Klinenberg credits the rise of communications technology (especially social media) for blurring the boundaries between social interaction and isolation.

I realize I'm getting off topic...

...I think our respective circumstances allow us to make marriage a choice. I've decided to choose compromise over (perceived?) chaos. And you, autonomy over compromise.

I don't think most desi women are as lucky. Societal norms, sometimes coupled with a lack of financial stability, make marriage a necessity. But with more and more women back in the homeland getting a good education and settling into careers before thinking about marriage, I think we're bound to see some positive change.

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cl0wn

@cl0wn

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#32

Originally posted by: drummedup
Is marriage a necessity? I have always felt that marriage is not a 'need'. It works for some and doesn't for others.So why attach the religious significance to it and make it a compulsory thing in life? Is it because society does not respect unmarried people enough? specially girls? or is it to be on safe side? To have someone in old age to take care of you? Personally speaking,I'm not the kind to fall in love and I know I'll be a lot happier alone. So, I'd love to live with my parents as long as they live and then go my own way. My priorities are work, my parents and knowledge(worldly and spiritual) I neither have time nor interest to take care of another person and his family. I'd like to do good to a large number of people through my work than concentrate myself to a home and man.Is it being selfish, unreligious and blah blah blah ?Why is it so scandalous and blasphemes?😆 I don't understand... Indian society baffles me!

To begin with, the answer is obviously NO... why should it be a necessity? Each person has the right to live the way they want to. Religion is not relevant here for me because I believe that the real GOD lies within you, it's your own conscience and what matters the most is one's own happiness. If you're happy doing something, do it. If not, don't pressurize yourself, even GOD won't be happy seeing you unhappy. Simple as that! 😛

And who cares about society? Are you really willing to sacrifice your own happiness to satisfy the so-called 'norms' of the society? Is the society going to come and console/help you in your hard times? IMO, life's too short to worry about that. Yeah, it's not easy to ignore this side of the story completely, infact there are so many people who succumb to societal pressures. It's a sad thing. It should never be this way! It's 2013 ffs!

Now finally coming to you, I think it's a matter of personal choice. If you feel you're not the type to fall in love or you aren't interested or have the time to take care of someone else's family, then so be it. It's your life, your choices! But then again, remember, this is what you're feeling RIGHT NOW... it may very possibly change later... you never know! For me, I am yet to discover the same thing myself.. the solution is to take each day as it comes.. and most importantly, always listening to your heart and doing exactly what YOU want!

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BirdieNumNum

@CuckooCutter7

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#33

ya marriage is a necessity... when you get tired of going out each week with a different girl.😆

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413226

Suspended

Posted: 12 years ago

#34

It is a matter of personal experience. Those who have had a pleasant experience in their family life (parents and other close relatives) would look forward to it and those who have had to face some adverse conditions would be wary of getting into similar situations. Like any other partnership the success would depend on what each one brings into it.

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BirdieNumNum

@CuckooCutter7

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#35

Originally posted by: _twilight_
It is a matter of personal experience. Those who have had a pleasant experience in their family life (parents and other close relatives) would look forward to it and those who have had to face some adverse conditions would be wary of getting into similar situations. Like any other partnership the success would depend on what each one brings into it.

ya sure, but you're missing something here. Folks back in WWI had great experience too using just horses and bayonets😆. See, you have to evolve with the times, go for new technology, new ideas, know what I mean?😉😆

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_Angie_

@_Angie_

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

#36

Originally posted by: BirdieNumNum

ya sure, but you're missing something here. Folks back in WWI had great experience too using just horses and bayonets😆. See, you have to evolve with the times, go for new technology, new ideas, know what I mean?😉😆

Is this what you are missing ! ? Long live evolution ! 😆