Blah Blah corner V - super jobless fingers attack! - Page 39

Originally posted by: hindu4lyf

I'm rarely the one asking for advice but here goes..

How do people deal with close-minded and extremely old-fashioned people where your thoughts basically never match?

I guess the question above could make me come across as close-minded too but seriously, it's extremely frustrating.

I wish I could tell certain people 'Live and let live' God dammit!

Dia, I used to care about these people. Luckily, there aren't too many in my life. I didn't grow up around an extended family, so I have never had to face much of that interference in my life. My parents were pretty much set on how they wanted to raise us. They are conservative when compared to American parents (I still cannot go out and stay out late without telling my parents and I'm a working college grad.). But compared to some desi parents, I suppose my parents are rather moderate.

Anyway, I guess it depends on who these people are? If they're outsiders who don't matter to you, ignore them. Seriously, smile in their faces, be polite to them, act as if you're listening - and then in one ear and out the other. I'm dead serious. As long as the people you love are happy with you, nothing else matters. I was just telling my best friend the same thing today. She was complaining about random uncles and aunties talking down to her - those people don't matter. They will always say things to bring you down because it makes them feel better about themselves. People will always do that and on the grand scale, their opinion should be insignificant.

Of course, if it is your family or your parents that you're referring to, then the scenario becomes more challenging. I would suggest talking to them. Don't be like the way they are and just believe them to be wrong about everything. Try to understand their perspective on things. We are all just products of our society and culture. They are not trying to be difficult on purpose, they are just set in their ways. And perhaps one day you will be too. Communication is a good thing - perhaps you can try to make them understand what you want and why. Just talk to them. Any relationship requires effort and compromise from both sides. As kids, it does seem like we are making most of the compromises and the efforts, but I'm sure the parents believe the same thing.

Good luck. 🤗

^ Ajnu, me liked your post even without reading it. 😛

Originally posted by: hindu4lyf

I'm rarely the one asking for advice but here goes..

How do people deal with close-minded and extremely old-fashioned people where your thoughts basically never match?

I guess the question above could make me come across as close-minded too but seriously, it's extremely frustrating.

I wish I could tell certain people 'Live and let live' God dammit!

It depends on the context - what kind of objections they are raising and who they are to you. I agree with quite a bit of what Ajnu said.

Obviously when it comes to parents and loved ones who really matter, you want to work things out and sort out differences. It is a part and parcel of being desi, especially in a foreign land. Our parents and family have their own perspectives. We develop ours in our environment. And both sides need to find the happy medium.

When it comes to friends, random relatives, mere acquaintances don't bother. Once or twice, you can give benefit of the doubt and urge them to be more thoughtful and open. After that you just have to do your own thing and not let others bother you.

Personally, I don't think it is wrong or hypocritical to say someone is old-fashioned, judgmental or brainwashed. It is a fact that we all are different. We have disparate perspectives on clothes, dating, sex, work ethics, responsibilities, education etc. In many cases we strongly disagree. But we live and let live. Let people make their own choices. The minute we point fingers at others we act judgmental. The minute we feel our background makes us superior to others, we are letting our thought process be influence. I have a huge problem when people gossip or demean someone over a short dress or having a boyfriend or going to the bars etc. But I also have a problem when people look down at others or make fun of them for being conservative, not dating, not going out etc.

Dia I agree with woh ajnabee and rth. If its parents talk to them. Try to make them understand they will come around simply coz they love you. If not, I guess u have to kee pp quiet and ake your choicew once when u r capable to do so. Relatives etc, don't bother, be polite listen and use your ears. I know easier to say than do it. I can never do it, I always end up retorting. But my parents rock mostly and moreover I am onky own for quite some time now.

BTV don't get your hopes too high, grass is greener on other side, always. Take it from one who has been there seen stuff.

Originally posted by: hindu4lyf

I'm rarely the one asking for advice but here goes..

How do people deal with close-minded and extremely old-fashioned people where your thoughts basically never match?

I guess the question above could make me come across as close-minded too but seriously, it's extremely frustrating.

I wish I could tell certain people 'Live and let live' God dammit!

Originally posted by: tannipartner

BTV don't get your hopes too high, grass is greener on other side, always. Take it from one who has been there seen stuff.

Originally posted by: Beyond_the_Veil

Eh??? 😕

Originally posted by: Arwen.

I feel sorry for those who for whatever reason watch Fox News ... went on google news and fox headline of presdential debate was front and center... Romney was like Commander in Chief, Obama was like Louis the XIV 🤔

That is why I never watch Fox News. Actually most news reports are biased. I try to find blogs and op-ed from both sides to get a more neutral picture. I wish Gary Johnson had been given the chance to participate in one of the debates at least. He is the Libertarian candidate for President. It would have been very interesting.

RTH - Some are giving Obama a slight edge but most say that both were good and neither was steamrolled by the other etc... Fox though 😆😆😆