Whether or not you separate the virtual and real world, ultimately they are both components of life. Life keeps changing and evolving. Things that are now, may not be later. Thats just how things are.
In the workplace, in schools, in clubs, in neighborhoods, people come and go. Lets take a workplace as an example. There is always employee turnaround. Employees join for various reasons income, resume building, good perception of the company, work environment. During a tenure of working with people we celebrate birthdays, may spend time outside work hanging out with them, people casually talk about their families other interests. It is all done with good faith and sincerity, no one is being fake or leading people on. Even when people idealistically say 'this work team is here for good/buddies forever' - realistically there is the thought in the mind that someday people move on.
Sometimes time comes to leave and people move forward. It could be anything, management sucked, they had falling out with coworkers, they found a better job, the changed as a person, they went back to school, they got married or had kids and needed something more flexible, they hated corporate policy, they felt let down by company direction, family emergency, they just saved enough to retire whatever. Sometimes they give long notice, sometimes they give short notice sometimes they quit on the spot,, sometimes they just stop showing up to work.
The people who move on may keep in touch with close friends within a company, with others they may slowly drift away, with some they wont even say goodbye. Sometimes you feel let down because you thought they would at least say bye but did not, or that you were best buddies and shared so much together and now they just drift away. If you were close to the person that left, or even viewed them as a mentor or really appreciated their presence. There will be that void, a period of being hurt. If you remain a close friend you learn to understand and accept the decision. Life eventually goes on.
So is it with forums. People will join and leave for various reasons. People who leave may keep in touch with some, drift away from some and some don't even know what and why. The bottom line is that life goes on and you can get over it.
The ambiguity of a topic like this "Is cancellation of an ID good or Bad" is the question, are you asking from the perspective of the person who canceled or yourself or the forum in general. The person is gone, they are no longer in a position to speak their opinion unless they come back and want to. So we are trying to evaluate someone else's choice by our own narrow perspective. Thats a tad bit unfair, but we can definitely debate the merits/demerits of it.
The same goes for trying to trace the reasons for leaving. Of course there may be clues and signs that point to the reason. There might be an answer in events. However, the truth of it all is that ultimately all this is still nothing but making presumptions and assumptions. Especially with so many different people with their own mind frames making so many presumptions or assumptions about other people - it becomes nothing but the water cooler gossip and conspiracy theories we see in workplaces. The fact is unless you actually directly know, you don't know, you can only assume to know.
Although, I must admit when you do know about why someone asked a ban or did something it is amusing to see others draw all sorts of conspiracy theories and be like investigators or messiahs. 😆(1) Although, I don't know about all of them, and I bet other people are chuckling when I make assumptions or theories about people. 😛 (2) Some people might be out there reading and rolling their eyes or feeling sad, some people might be out there gloating at the attention and then again some might be out there.....not giving a damn.
I think there is merit and sincerity when people do question things and wonder why. Its good to seek answers or understand things. In the end we all need to realize that we are looking at it from our personal lenses and we need to move on.
Moving onto the aspect of separating virtual and real life, having a detached approach to virtual reality. I am a proponent of it and advice people to do so. However, I'm not a follower of it. My virtual self is an extension of my real self. I don't behave exactly the same in both places, there are differences of platform. But the essence is the same. I'm actually an introvert in both RL and VL, but I do 'talk' more on VL due to the structured discussion platform available in DM. I tend to engage very few people.
But other than that to be on the point, the reason why I am a proponent for the detached approach is that not everyone is that way. Many people come online as a stress buster and time passer. It definitely is not real for them - and they leave at the drop of the hat, when they don't need the forum any more or get bored with it. Some people genuinely need tangible real people to feel comfortable with, they feel more secure with tangible real people - no matter how friendly, cordial, open, emotional chatty they get on the forum the truth is its never real for them. Lastly some are just liars and perverts who use the mask of anonymity. You have to realize that not everyone is in for the long haul or the right reasons and have to exercise caution. You may make lifelong friends here, but don't actually expect it or assume people are. If you don't learn detachment, you might find yourself hurting more than you should or making things bigger than they seem. And if you let virtualities hurt you, then realities will become much more difficult.
Also to remember is that anyone will be friendly and chat you up. Have you flown or traveled frequently? In planes, trains, hostels, you will meet all sorts of people. People who will pore out their life history, and tell you tales of their kids, grandkids, their parents, grandparents, their boss, where they have been, what they do, what deal they are negotiating and talk on like they are your long time buddy while you just sit there wondering when the endless torture of stewing a tin can up in the sky breathing the same musty air of a hundred stranger. That person may become your friend, but if you develop some sort of attachment to them simply because they shared some personal stories and moments with you - then dude you have more issues than crazy cat lady who insists on telling strangers stories about all her cats.
I think its a life lesson, not just a virtual world or real world lesson. Learn to separate your friends and acquaintances. Don't lose sweat over acquaintances who will come and go throughout life. Exercise some sort of detachment and the spirit of moving on. If you don't also thats fine, things just get hard for a bit, but life finds its way. 😊 (3)
Emoticon Notes:
Sometimes I use emoticons because, they portray emotion and create emphasis. Unfortunately, emoticon makers are lazy and made exaggerated emoticons that don't convey reality. For now and whenever I feel like it, I'll use emoticon notes
1) 😆 I am neither laughing out loud nor bobbing my head psychotically. I have not shared a funny moment or personal joke with you that I will cherish forever. Please perceive it as "eyes twinkling with impish mirth accompanied by a restrained chuckle"
2) 😛 I am not literally sticking my tongue at you . You may visualize it as "giving you that look across the room, you know exactly what I am talking about, with a slight lopsided smirk*
3) 😊 I'm not trying to be cold and creepy giving some creepy ear to ear smile. It is more of "a soft sigh that signifies c'est la vie, with an empathetic nod, earnest eyes and half hearted smile that says life is tough, but it gets better"
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Bindi
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