Posted:
Originally posted by: return_to_hades
Alright, time for my signature dozen tasks.
1) Cook us something OBJ. However, a twist this time. No IFers. You have to cook a dish with singers and composers as ingredients. Lets see who you chop, and crush. Who gets on top of who and who gets soaked in the music world.
Okay, rth, I'm gonna do your 12 tasks one by one. Lets start with this one:
Hello, and welcome to another exciting episode of Kooking with obj!
Today, since I've killed off all the dmons under krystal watz's orders, I'll make a traditional indian dish, using the kings and dogs of HFM!!
(APPLAUSE)
*smiles*
*teeth shine*
The dish will be called, HFM fry!
So anyway, let's start out with aatif aslam! Everybody loves atif aslam!
EXCEPT ME!!!! 😡 HE SUCKS!
Anyway, take a bit- no, take all of atif aslam and moisten him by spitting on him. Human urine will work just as well. Heck, dog urine works even better. Then add a bit of kerosene, a lit match, oh, and dont forget to chop him up. 😃
Then you take this carca- I mean this "mixture" and toss it - into the bin.
So anyway, our ingredients are :
Mohd rafi (main ingredient)
special dressing:
SD Burman
RD Burman
Masala ingredients:
kishore kumar
asha
lata mangeshkar
manna dey
op nayyar
pritam
Shankar ehsaan loy
shreya ghoshal
udit narayan
and AR Rahman (for show- I mean for taste)
METHOD:
Well, you don't need to make any alterations with mohd rafi, he's perfect already 😃 Although you should add some sugar to asha to make her less bitc- I mean, bitter! Also you should mash the head part and repeatedly say "op nayyar made you, not rd burman", and play deewana hua badal repatedly until her skull has been penetrated. 😆 Also if you don't want to use pritam, you can use, rajesh roshan, nau malik, bappi lahiri.. the main thing is to have the copy cat herb, which is found in the extract of these fellows.
Also if you have financial problems, buy amit kumar or kumar sanu in place of kishore kumar. Or if your in the poorhouse,and I mean enron batteries poor, use vinod rathod or harshit saxena.
Shreya will be easy to find. She's bengali, so wont be very uncommon 😃 The AR Rahman is just for decoration, no real substance, so you can avoid that if you want to.
Mix the two burmans around, add water and boil for 10 minutes, to make the famous burman dressing!
Now for the masala:
Take the op nayyar and asha, and crush them together , moisten with shreya ghoshal to make the kashmir mix. take lata mangeshkar , stretch her, it should be as stretchy as her voice in tasveer teri dil mein, and make a trampoline like thingamajig. toss in the kashmir mix, and throw in some pritam to multiply the mix(the wonder of the copy herb is that it replicates the particles, making it bigger.. aah, If only john wayne bobbit knew!) Start scraping kishore kumar to add spice to the mix, and dont forget to mash up shankar ehsaan loy with udit naraayan, water with manna dey and wrap up the trampoline.
Boil the trampoline in hot water for a few minutes, then you will notice a blob. Scrape it to make a masala powder. Add lime and water to the powder and rub it all over rafi. Then fry Rafi in a pressure cooker (much to the chagrin of aamir khan) and dress with the burman dressing.
Place an ar rahman on top.It might win awards for o reason whatsoever! 👏 ⭐️ Heck maybe an oscar! Aww throw in a tony as well!
Well I hope you enjoyed this edition of Kooking with everybody's favourite Kook, OBJ!!!
And remember, safe cooking is also making salad 😃
*clapclapclapclapclapclapclap 👏 *
THE END
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