MOTW - The Second Apprentice - Page 12

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

🤗 mujhey kal sey zyada time mileyga one on one gupshap ka. Aaj ghar mein sab kee chhutti hai. Busy right now but posting couple of your tasks before I log out. Since no one said anything about not using their names, I started out with Karan's list. After first 3 tasks I realized it's way too long😆 Going forward I'll use only 10-15 DMers - the ones I know for sure they can take a joke w/o being hung up on any one thing whether it was siad to them or not!!! Filhaal toh sab ko choona lag gaya hai. Aagey sey it will be the regulars I am comfortable with.

Hope it's okay with you
🤗

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

Tum MIA na hoteen toh mein apni harakiri na kerwati. I became a bakra to intice you back here. Kuchh toh rehem karo😆 Awwwwwwwwwww🤗 🤗🤗 Rehem ki umeed mat karna 😆😆

Seriously bahni, finders keepers losers **beepers** Varsha chose the Hawaian trip over this laugh riot. No proxies allowed for the bhagodeys😆 No worries, unkey hissey ki bhi apne naam se post kar doongee. Bina limit ki baazi jo hai 😉😆

Originally posted by: SholaJoBhadkey

Task Three: Assign "sadelas a la Mannu" for DMers

Believe:

Chaand raaat ko sabhi dekhain, hilaal-e-eid ko
Ik hamara hi naseeba haddiyan tudwa gaya
Hum thhey chaand ke nazaare main khoye hue
Bus achanak chand ka abba wahan pe aa gaye…

Souro:

Jise koyal samjhe, woh kauwa nikla, dosti ke naam par hauwa nikla,
Jo roka karte they humein sharab peene se, aaj unki jeb se pauwa nikla.

Karan: Kanta deserves two!

main uskey pyaar me ban gayaa baraf kaa gola.......
main usskey pyaar me ban gaya baraf kaa gola.....
aur woh bewafaa bolti hai thanda matlab cocacola

Ummidon ki manzil deh gayi,
Khwabon ki duniya beh gayi,
Abe teri kya izzat rah gayi,
Jab ek jhakkas item tereko BHAIYA keh gayi.....

Mister K: three lion-o-loiney for you K😊 Sab kitna dartey hain tum sey yaar!

Aap ki yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi

liya paper aur tasveer aapki banayi

socha tha ki usko dil se laga kar rakhenge

magar woh to batcho ko draane ke kaam aayi...

Roz subha hum karte hain pyar se unhe good morning...

Woh aise ghoor ke dekte hain

jaise '0 errors aur 5 warning'...

Chhup gaya badli mein jaake,
Chaand bhi sharma gaya
Chhup gaya badli mein jaake,
Chaand bhi sharma gaya
Bhoot ne jab tumko dekha,
Bhoot bhi ghabra gaya !!!

SJB: You haunted me in my dreams last nigh, bahni😆 Two for you!

Pani mei tairna – machhli ka eshtyle

Aasma mei udnaa – panchee ka style

Mannu key kwoschans churana aur hamarey motw mei pelna – mohtarma, aap ka eshtyle😡

Aahat si koi aaye to lagta hai ke tum ho,
Saya sa koi lehraye to lagta hai ke tum ho,
Ab tumhi batao tum kya kisi bhoot se kam ho?

Varsha: How could she be away this week!!! I am missing her (and NO Bahni, stop dreaming about making me feel better there.)

Aasmaan pe jitne sitare hai

Varshoo - (Wah Wah)

Aakhon me jitne ishare hai

varshoo - (Wah Wah)

Samander ke jitne kinare hai

varshoo - (Wah Wah)

Utne hi screw dheele tumhare hai 😡(Ab bolo Wah Wah)😆

Ajnu: I was at crossroads again😛 Could not decide which one to pick so pasted both here.

Arz kiya hai,Zara gaur farmaiye,
Naa hi zaroorat hai sitaron ki,
Naa hi zaroorat hai faltu yaaron ki,
Ek dost chahiye aapke jaisa,
Jo watt laga de Hazaron ki.

Jab dekha unhone tirchhi nazar se, to hum madhosh ho gaye,
Par jab pata chala ki nazare hi tirchhi hai, to hum behosh ho gaye...!!!

Sarina- her silly COC reminds me of the first one and her powers makes me wonder about the second one:

Lal diwar par chune se likha tha ghalib ne
lal diwar par chune se likha tha ghalib ne
yahan likhna mana hai😛

Lab khamosh hote hain jab tum saamne aati ho,
Dil dhadakta hai jab nigaahein milaati ho,
Saans ruk jaati hai jab muskuraate ho,
Bhoot ho kya jo tum itna daraate ho.

Angie: I know it is lame but that is how sadelas are so can't help it, sweets😆

Tumhe kya pata ke GUM kya hai,
Tumhe kya pata GUM kise kehte hai,
Tum kya jaano GUM kya cheez hai,

Kyonki...
Tumne to hamesha THOOK se hi Envelop chipkaya hai.

POH

Chaand ko garoor hai
ki uske pass noor hai to kya hua
Mujhe bhi garoor hai
ki mera dost Langoor hai

Debu:

Exam ho out of contol

Hontho ko ker key gol

Honto ko ker key gol

Seeti baja key bol

Yeh interesting subject hai. Mujhey ek saal aur padhna hai.

Raju786: I saw his posts on FB thread. Jab yeh dekha toh Raju yaad aa gaya.

Khuda Hi Khuda
Idhar khuda hai, udar khuda hai,
Jidar dekho udar khuda hai,
idhar-udhar bus khuda hi khuda hai
jidhar nahi khuda hai….udhar kal khudega!

Qwerty: He claims he is careless when he visits India.

Kashmir ki vadiyo me,
Barfeli hawaon me,
Jheel ke kinare Raanjhey ko Heer ney jo kaha,
Wahi baat mai tumse kahti hoon,
SWEATER PAHENO THAND LAG JAYGI !

Cloddy: We all know his fixation with light switches – right

Jise dil diya wo Dilli chali gayi
Jise Pyar kiya wo Poona Chali gayi
Jise Ishq kiya wo Itli Chali gayi
Majboor hokar Socha khudkhushi kar lu
Par bijli ko hath lagaya to bijli chali gayi

Khatarnak: Miss his shayari! Had to dedicate a sadela to him.

Ek aap hai jo itne Achay hai
Ek aap hai jo itne Sachay hai
Ek aap hai jo itne Sundar hai
Ek aap hai jo itne Caring hai
Aur ek hum hai
jo Jhoot pe Jhoot bole ja rahe hai

Summer:

Aapko kya lagta hai hum aapse flirt karte hain,
Ruko, sambhlo, abhi ke abhi aapko alert karte hain,
Arre yeh to mahol aur mausam kaa asaar hai,

Y a phir yeh kaho kee motw key iss task kee maar hai,
Warna aise waisson par hum bhi time waste nahi karte hain.

Krystal:

Itney khushnaseeb toh hum na thhey

Hamari taqdeer mein sitam kam na thhey

Phir kyoon hum khuda ko itna bhaa gaye

Kee ban ker member aap hamarey DM mei aa gaye

Middy:

Aap apni zindagi me itna aage jao
ki duniya aapse bas yahi kahe
jao baba aage jao, aage jao....change naheen hai

Mahi:

Main aapko chand kehti, Main aapko chand kehti Lekin usme bhi daag hai
Main aapko suraj kehti, Main aapko Suraj kehti Lekin usme bhi aag hai
Main aapko bandariya kehti, Main aapko bandar kehti
Lekin usme bhi dimaagh hai

Meena:

Devdas ke babuji ne kaha ghar chhod do,

uski ma ne kaha paro ko chhod do,

paro ne kaha daru chhod do,

lekin aapko kisne kaha DM per post karna chhod do?

Bazzy Boy:

Wo pal bhi kya tha
jab aap ko log kiss pe kiss kiya karte the
Magar apki phooti kismat to dekho
us waqt Aap "HUGGIES" pehna karte the

Sneha:

Ek ladki thi deewani si
Mobile lekar chalti thi
Nazrain jhuka ke
Sharma ke
Mobile mein jaane kya dekha karti thi
Kuchh karna tha shaayad usko
Par jaane kis se darti thi
Jab bhi milti thi mujhse
Yehi poochha karti thi
Yeh ON kaise hota hai?
Yeh ON kaise hota hai?

aur main sirf yehi kahti thhee
ye mobile nahi TV ka remote hai

Naked face:

Tumko dekha to ye khayal aaya,
Tumko dekha to ye khayal aaya,
Tumko dekha to ye khayal aaya,
Pagalo ke stock me naya maal aaya.

P1nk:

Hame malum hai ki aap hame bhula nahi sakte,
Lekin paas bhi hamare aa nahi sakte,
Yahan tak aa rahi hai tere BADAN ki BADBU....
Please yaar kya tum NAHA NAHI SAKTE!

Empti: Somewhat MIA from DM these days:

Jee karta hai,
Ek patthar loon.
Aur uss par pyar se likhoon,
"I MISS YOU".

Aur phir kheench ke maroon tere sar pe,
Tab pata chale,
Kitna dard hai teri yaad mein.😆

IceThinker:

Suwar ke bachhe!
Ullu ke patthe!
Kutte ke pille!
Gadhe ki aulaad!
Bhains ke bachhde!
Bakri ke memney!
..
..
..
..
..
Sab kitne chhote-chhote, pyare-pyare hote hain.😛

CPM:

Hum unki galee se guzre, wo ek ittefak tha.......
Hum unki galee se guzre, wo ek ittefak tha.......

Unhoney phenka hum per bhool,
Aji haan,
Unhoney phenka hum per phool magar gamla bhi saath thha.

Pogo:

Yaad hai woh pal jab hum pehli baar mile thay,
Train ruki khidki khuli,
Nazron se nazrein mili aur aap ne kaha "Mohanlal ke naam pe kuch de de baba!"

my_view:

Gadha jo khaaye wo Ghaas ho tum,
Buddhe ka Chyawanpraash ho tum,

Idiot, stupid, bakwaas ho tum,
Par jo bhi ho! Yaar! Dost Jhakaas ho tum !!!

Gengu:

Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha
to yaad aaya kuch to hua hai kuch ho gaya hai,
exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya
sab kuch alag hai sab kuch naya hai.

Solidsnake:

Baithe Hain tere khayalon mein
Kagaj pe likha hai tera naam
Kagaj pe teri tasveer laga ke
likha hai ye paigam
Zinda ya Murda pakadne par
milega 50000 ka Inam

Originally posted by: SholaJoBhadkey

🤗 Tum chaar naam quote karo, ya chalees, I am ok with it. Just make sure I am in all of them 😆😆

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

Prep work:

• Wash and peel believe and cut in half using Meena chhuri. Chop believe and divide it in two parts. Take one part and grind to a fine paste in mindgoogle grinder.
• 
  
• Take qwerty sendha namak in SVCGK okhli and pound it till it breaks into smaller pieces. Ask qwerty which mango he likes. If he says haphus then pound some more. Then grind qwerty into a fine powder in mindgoogle grinder.
• 
  
• Keep icethinker tawa on Empti stove and heat it on medium heat. Now, take a few corns of varsha (ewwww'.not the ones one grows on the feet ' the pepper corns wala corns) and roast it on Icethinker tawa. Let Varsha cool for a few minutes and then grind her in mindgoogle grinder to a fine powder.
• 
  
• Don't take Icethinker off Empti. We need him to roast whole ajnu red chillies and sabut debu dhaniya seeds. Turn Empti low and roast ajnu on Icethinker for couple of minutes followed by debu. Now, pound debu in SVCGL okhli in a semi-fine powder and grind ajnu to a fine powder in mindgoogle grinder.
• 
  
• Take 50 gms of angie dahi and beat it till smooth using CPM beater.
• 
  
• Wash Summer hara dhaniya with bazzy boy water and chop it finely using Meena chhuri.

Proceed with Bahni koftas:

• Wash bahni lauki in bazzy boy water and then peel it with Meena chhuri. Grate bahni on Souro grater. Squeeze water 9not the bazzy water- bahni's pani) out of bahni; mix in qwerty sendha namak, chopped believe ginger and varsha black pepper. Saute bahni over high flame, to dry up excess liquid and leave to cool.
• 
  
• Add my_view besan , mix well and shape bahni into walnut sized balls.
• 
  
• Put Sunny karahi on Empti stove with K oil in it. Heat K to smoking point --- should not take long as K's boiling point is quite low.
• 
  
• Deep-fry bahni balls (mind that NOT bahni's balls but bahni balls as in koftas) to a golden brown over high empty flame in hot K oil and keep aside on solidsnake paper to drain K out of bahni (All you dirty minds, no pun intended please. This is PG 13 forum).
• 
  
• Now, heat Sneha makkhan; add cloddy jeera till it starts popping (PG 13 ' remember) followed by believe ginger paste (to calm cloddy down) and saute to a light brown.
• 
  
• Soak Karan poppy seeds in RTH milk (again - NOT RTH's milk) overnight (badey dinon key baad aayee hai milan kee bela :)) and grind Karan into a paste in mindgoogle grinder (googly kee toh nikal padi! Kitno ko peesna mil raha hai. Gotta be his lucky day today!). Add Debu dhania powder, qwerty sendha salt and ajnu chilli powder and saute till Sneha makkhan separates.
• 
  
• Add 2-3 cups Bazzy Boy water and bring to a boil, then simmer for about 10 minutes. Add bahni koftas and angie dahi, simmer for another 2 minutes, and serve hot. Garnish the bahni ke kofte with finely chopped Summer and serve hot in Pogo dish with garma garam POH phulkey.

Originally posted by: Emptiness

khaas tumharey liye hee thhee woh warning! I was afraid you will twist everything totally out of proportion and context😆

Take a look at the sher I dedicated to you!

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

We should disable the "LIKE' BUTTON ON THESE THREADS. i WANT FOLKS TO QUOTE MY RESPONSES AND THEN TELL ME WHAT THEY LIKED IN IT AND WHY. oTHERWISE SARI MEHNAT PANI MEI CHALI JATI HAI!

My caps lock is giving me problems. Sorry for the bad font above.

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

like others are all innocent and naive, i'm just abit more open about it 😆

thanks for the sher!, will need to buy a helmet 😆

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

We should disable the "LIKE' BUTTON ON THESE THREADS. i WANT FOLKS TO QUOTE MY RESPONSES AND THEN TELL ME WHAT THEY LIKED IN IT AND WHY. oTHERWISE SARI MEHNAT PANI MEI CHALI JATI HAI!