Your views on live-in relationships.. - Page 6

Originally posted by: *Woh Ajnabee*

I don't agree here. Its okay for people to approve of live-ins, but its not right to demean the ethereal institution of marriage. When two people marry they are vowing in front of God, devoting their lives to each other. It's wrong to mark marriage as a "contract", like its a business agreement. Marriage is the union of two souls, a promise to be together until eternity. If two people love each other enough, is it wrong for them to bond in such a way? How can people disapprove of such a commitment?

And coming to commitments, what does a live-in relationship give you? An option of walking out whenever you deem necessary? Why is that so important. Why is human nature so afraid of commitment? Perhaps marriage for some doesn't work out, but maybe its because its not with the right person. Being in a live-in is merely being in a serious relationship with the person you live with. Marriage is more than that.

Why is marriage looked down upon in today's day and age? Why isn't a husband and wife's sacred bond appreciated anymore? Are people who've been married to each other for several years have just been coping with each other? Why is human nature so prone to believe that if given the option any individual would walk out on his/her spouse?

" When two people marry they are vowing in front of God, devoting their lives to each other"
"Marriage is the union of two souls, a promise to be together until eternity. If two people love each other enough, is it wrong for them to bond in such a way?"

There are other lines also like the above 2 ones which i picked up,

but the point i again would like to reinforce is ,
it depends on the way the people involved look at marriage and live in.

You seem to look at it in a way in which many people do not look at it.
It might be that afterall live-in might be a commitment for someone ,
while it might not be for someone.
You might think that its an option of walking out whenever you like,
for the other it might be an option towards a better life.

Marriage is looked down upon ??huh , where ??

(most) Man is afraid of tough things ,
i guess commitment is tough !!

Btw the last question's answer is simply insecurity !!

Btw Btw , the views you have about marriage are very sacred , indeed you really take marriage as something very precious (which it is) , but then its not the view of a lot of people now,
hence we can never say that
if "marriage is good for me, its good for everyone"

Originally posted by: apux

each case is different.

Quite nice ending statements people have out here ,
yet the debate goes on

Originally posted by: ashoka_was_king

" When two people marry they are vowing in front of God, devoting their lives to each other"
"Marriage is the union of two souls, a promise to be together until eternity. If two people love each other enough, is it wrong for them to bond in such a way?"

There are other lines also like the above 2 ones which i picked up,

but the point i again would like to reinforce is ,
it depends on the way the people involved look at marriage and live in.

I agree, if a person doesn't believe in this institution of marriage, they should not become a part of it simply to fulfill social standards. Marriage shouldn't be a compromise, but rather a means of expressing your devotion.

You seem to look at it in a way in which many people do not look at it.
It might be that afterall live-in might be a commitment for someone ,
while it might not be for someone.
You might think that its an option of walking out whenever you like,
for the other it might be an option towards a better life.

Again, I agree, POV's differ, and the above was strictly my opinion, too bad I can't make everyone think like me. 😉😆

Marriage is looked down upon ??huh , where ??

Well people in this very thread are comparing marriage to a social license, a business contract, as though its a formality that society expects of you.

(most) Man is afraid of tough things ,
i guess commitment is tough !!

Sure, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't take on things that are tough, does it?

Btw the last question's answer is simply insecurity !!

Hmm, maybe, but one can overcome the insecurity, right?

Btw Btw , the views you have about marriage are very sacred , indeed you really take marriage as something very precious (which it is) , but then its not the view of a lot of people now,
hence we can never say that
if "marriage is good for me, its good for everyone"

Not in any kind of relationship, so I don't speak from experience. But yes, to me marriage is extremely sacred, and perhaps I'm being too much of an idealist here, but I thing that things should be taken for their good and bad, that's when you truly understand their meaning.

@apux: Dinner time, your reply later. 😊

Originally posted by: ashoka_was_king

Quite nice ending statements people have out here ,
yet the debate goes on

Of course, we have to debate based on generalizations since we don't personally know every person in this world😆

Originally posted by: *Woh Ajnabee*

@apux: Dinner time, your reply later. 😊

What's going on, yaar...u never reply to my posts anymore😆

Originally posted by: *Woh Ajnabee*

I don't agree here. Its okay for people to approve of live-ins, but its not right to demean the ethereal institution of marriage. When two people marry they are vowing in front of God, devoting their lives to each other. It's wrong to mark marriage as a "contract", like its a business agreement. Marriage is the union of two souls, a promise to be together until eternity. If two people love each other enough, is it wrong for them to bond in such a way? How can people disapprove of such a commitment?

And coming to commitments, what does a live-in relationship give you? An option of walking out whenever you deem necessary? Why is that so important. Why is human nature so afraid of commitment? Perhaps marriage for some doesn't work out, but maybe its because its not with the right person. Being in a live-in is merely being in a serious relationship with the person you live with. Marriage is more than that.

Why is marriage looked down upon in today's day and age? Why isn't a husband and wife's sacred bond appreciated anymore? Are people who've been married to each other for several years have just been coping with each other? Why is human nature so prone to believe that if given the option any individual would walk out on his/her spouse?

In my opinion I don't think that anyone is really trying to demean the marriage here. The problem I feel here lies in the distinction between the romantic notion of marriage most people have versus the modern state defined marriage.

I completely agree with you when you say marriage is the union of two souls, an eternal and beautiful bond shared between two people. However, when do we consider two people married? When they either undergo a religious or civil ceremony of marriage. Most definitions of marriage necessitate an official of some sort and witnesses. This in itself takes the relationship from being something extremely personal between two souls. If two people say they are soul mates and they have their personal commitments to each other and forces that they believe in, we would not accept it. They are told, well its not real, its not official - and so on and so forth. It seems that union of two souls is not being treated like the key factor - the social sanction is.

Modern marriage due to its state approved nature is a result of legal rules. Now there is nothing against the rules, age of consent, mental stability, not being related make complete sense. The fact is that the essential ingredient 'love' cannot be measured, tested, reported and is not a criterion for marriage. Hence, we have people marrying for all sorts of reasons - money, fame, immigration you name it.

The fact also remains that marriage is a socio-religious contract. This is not a statement to demean marriage. Society, Law and other forces have shaped it into an institution that goes well beyond two souls committed to each other eternally. Religions require an exchange of vows and rituals. By definition an exchange of verbal promises is a verbal contract. Social and religious restrictions make you bound to an oath of commitment, fidelity, love. Legal restrictions offer tax benefits along with inheritance, privacy etc. The format is all contractual. Of course as you say two people who want to be together for the rest of their lives automatically bind themselves to each other emotionally, spiritually etc. There are commitments made within the soul right away. However, the way marriage is set up in our society makes marriage an institution as well as a contract.

Personally, I have nothing against marriage. I will admit there probably is something special about marriage. You do not see people going nuts over the fact that they will be living in with someone in a year. You do not see elaborate plans, preparations, overwhelming emotions for living-in. As they say when you are in love you want to climb on the rooftop and shout it out to the world. A wedding ceremony is the rooftop and wedding vows/rituals are the shout out. There definitely is something special about marriage, that something casual like live-in may not have. However, that special is not in the wedding ceremony, the law, the vows or anything that we see or hear in a marriage. It is completely and totally in the 'feelings and emotions' of the two people getting married.

What irks me most about many marriage 'purists' is the fact that some of them can be so quick to judge. They claim marriage to be the bond between two souls, but focus on the institutional aspect. A large number of couples living-in do share the love and commitment of a married couple, but are turned of by how modern society has institutionalized marriage. If a wedding ceremony was truly about shouting on your rooftop, more people would take the plunge - but modern society makes marriage more than just love. Also marriage 'purists' are also trying to make marriage exclusive. Religious institutions refuse to sanction marriage if both individuals do not conform to their tenets, across the world families still try to stop or prevent marriage because of race, class, social status, income level, religion etc.

Then there is the modern approach to prevent marriage over sexual orientation. The fact that large numbers struggling and praying to get married when they could just be having casual sex or live-ins shows the 'magical feeling' marriage can have. However, society deems that this 'magical feeling' ought to be an exclusive club - you cannot have it unless you follow the rules - it does not matter how much deeply you are in love.

Which is why I personally prefer to have the most simplistic approach to relationships. It is all about and only about the two people involved and the relationship they share. What matters is their love for each other, their connections emotional, spiritual and physical. When two right people meet - and share something magical - that is all that matters. Who am I to decide if they meet my requirements of commitment? Who am I to say when, how, and why they should make their commitments? Which is why marriage, live-ins, affairs, whatever labels we like to create and slap on in society matter nothing to me - what matters is two people and their relationship.

Originally posted by: apux

What's going on, yaar...u never reply to my posts anymore😆

Sorry girl, had some things to take care of. That's why I left you the message. 😳
Haven't been replying to your posts? I haven't been around lately, sorry. Was there a particular one that I missed?

Okay, promise, your reply now. And then RTH.

Where's Gauri di? --- Just want to tell her this is EXACTLY why I didn't want to come to DM. Now nothing get's done. Geez. 😆

Originally posted by: *Woh Ajnabee*

Sorry girl, had some things to take care of. That's why I left you the message. 😳
Haven't been replying to your posts? I haven't been around lately, sorry. Was there a particular one that I missed?

Okay, promise, your reply now. And then RTH.

Where's Gauri di? --- Just want to tell her this is EXACTLY why I didn't want to come to DM. Now nothing get's done. Geez. 😆

I was just joking with ya...no worries!

Originally posted by: *Woh Ajnabee*

Where's Gauri di? --- Just want to tell her this is EXACTLY why I didn't want to come to DM. Now nothing get's done. Geez. 😆

Hehe we are more dramatic than a soap opera here. We create our own drama going back an forth dragging topics to death. 😆

Originally posted by: *Woh Ajnabee*

(most) Man is afraid of tough things ,
i guess commitment is tough !!

Sure, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't take on things that are tough, does it?

It was just an answer to your question,
we should ofcourse take up tough things,
thats the real test,
but what should be done is not always done 😊

Btw the last question's answer is simply insecurity !!

Hmm, maybe, but one can overcome the insecurity, right?

Yup , but again i just answered to your question 😆

Btw Btw , the views you have about marriage are very sacred , indeed you really take marriage as something very precious (which it is) , but then its not the view of a lot of people now,
hence we can never say that
if "marriage is good for me, its good for everyone"

Not in any kind of relationship, so I don't speak from experience. But yes, to me marriage is extremely sacred, and perhaps I'm being too much of an idealist here, but I thing that things should be taken for their good and bad, that's when you truly understand their meaning.

Yes ,yes ,
bad part of things teach much more than the good part !!
Btw - No need to tell your relationship status in a public forum 😆😆

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

Hehe we are more dramatic than a soap opera here. We create our own drama going back an forth dragging topics to death. 😆

We don't leave them even after death !!

Originally posted by: apux

Of course, we have to debate based on generalizations since we don't personally know every person in this world😆

Yup ,
saying each case is different , would end almost every debate there and then 😃