Mnadira's devils and angels

Mandira Bedi answers your queries with a straightforward twist!

I married a man who I knew was an epileptic. I had been through a tough childhood and adolescence, where I had to support my divorced mother. The reason I got married was that he belonged to a very rich family. I was craving for luxury. But within two years, I have realised that his condition is going from bad to worse. He is not even mentally stable. I do not want to have his child as I fear genetic abnormalities. I want to leave him. Is it ethical?
—Rubina, Khar

Angel Eyes: Well, if you've decided you want to leave him, then it doesn't really matter if it's ethical or not. If I tell you it's unethical and you decide to hang around with him, you'll only be miserable and unhappy. So go ahead and do what you think is best for you.

Devil Lies: You, of all people, should not talk about ethics. Firstly you marry the poor chap for his money. You gold digger you! Then you want to dump him 'cause he's not getting any better. I don't know about you not wanting his child, but I'm sure he doesn't want one from you too, lest it turns out like you!

My husband loves me very much. He is extremely creative. But he has a problem - he gets involved for brief periods with women he comes in contact with. He says he is fighting a certain restlessness. He cries, begs forgiveness and never wants me to leave him. Even in his sleep he keeps chanting my name. This is a weird state I am in.
—Lorraine, Borivali

Angel Eyes: Now, how smart is this husband of yours! Passing off his little flings as bouts of restlessness. I agree, it's quite a weird situation for you to be in. But at least the man's honest. So that's a start. I think a bit of counseling where the two of you discuss it with a third person might help. Maybe he does love you. But more than that, he has to learn to respect you. That's the only way he'll stop cheating on you.

Devil Lies: What are you? Thick? Don't you see it? The guy's a crook. He wants to eat his cake and have it too. And his telling you all about it is obviously part of his bigger plan, so that if he ever gets caught, his ass is covered. Stop getting suckered over and over again. What this guy needs is a good thrashing. And if you don't deliver it, I will!

I am dating this guy from my college days. Recently he lost his mother, whom he was very attached to and since then has started taking drugs. I have tried helping him out. But he has no will-power. He has threatened me not to talk to his father about this. He has even beaten me in this regard. I love him and want him to recover.
—Meenal, Thane

Angel Eyes: I'm sorry, but your boyfriend needs help. And if that means talking to his father, so be it. You might lose him for it, but it's better than losing him to drugs.

Devil Lies: He's a junkie. He's a girlfriend beater. And you of course are Mother Teresa