My Poetry Collection- HUUUGEE UPDATE @Pg 89! Do read - Page 34

Originally posted by: Reshma.

Originally posted by: maria-rock

very nice story...

Originally posted by: DemonStar

Brilliant story, sis! 👏 👏 ⭐️ Really enjoyed it! Now, wait as the croc gets his forceps and scalpel ready. 🤓 😆

I was deeply touched by Daya sir's role in this story because I have personally experienced the same situation multiple times, once in the not so distant past and I could totally feel what he was going through. Being human we are flawed and we make mistakes, sadly too often with our closest ones... and sadly that kind of wound is far more terrible than any physical one. You portrayed both their emotions perfectly. The narration was first rate and I could see everything, particularly the part when Abhi sir returns. His indignation and hurt coupled with Daya sir's guilt and attempts to fix the damage, and ACP sir and Freddy sir's interactions with both of them were masterfully done. The final scene was really sweet and you can feel the relief and happiness flooding.

Oh thanks a ton bro. I went through thus experience before writing the story. I did not want to make it biased , so justice should be made to both of them. Glad it came out well.😊

I loved this line a lot - "Abhijeet was a strong hearted cop but as a human being, his heart too was tender. It was the tender heart that he had broken and he hated himself for it." 👏 👏

Thanks again, bro 😃

Now, some personal advise. Seeing this level of discord among two legendary friends can only be for a seriously strong cause or at least buildup, and I think you could've done it a bit better. While the opening para summed it up fairly well, showing it in some more detail would've made us relate to the situation even more. Also, while I'm not totally against showing tears and all, it's important to remember that they are a powerful dramatic device and far more effective when used sparingly and at the right points. Subtlety is important, and you largely did that well here. 😊 I don't know if ACP sir would be so quick in calling Abhijeet sir beta, though. 😉 😆

Oh hehe. Thanks for the advice bro. While typing it here, I did make some edits and maybe I deleted few. And ya, I wanted to show the tender human side of all the three, isliye Maine aisa likha 😃

Lastly, hats off for the beautiful role to Purvi. I knew we'd be treated to one and you even exceeded my expectation. A wonderful and loyal junior and sweet sisterly bond excellently portrayed. 👏 When she explains how CID is her family and she feels so close to them, you could've had a little more buildup (perhaps her mistaking Abhi sir being angry and getting frightened for example), but it was still excellent. The unfortunate fact is Ansha ma'am/Purvi will never receive proper respect and appreciation from some and be regarded with disdain despite all her hard efforts, so such roles giving her deserved prominence will always be faced with some hostility. I advise you not to be discouraged and keep it up, for many including me truly love it. 😊

Thanks again. That scene came out far far better than I had expected it to. I'm glad you like it bro. Ya I know. This is not gonna discourage me bro. It'll make me only write more. 😃😉

Oh, and what happened to the kidnapping part? Me wants another story from you on that! 😈 😉 😆

Humko itni asani se stories nahi aati boss.😆 Phir bhi, I'll try to continue the story.😃

Once again, brilliant work, keep it up! 👏 👏 👍🏼

Originally posted by: gadhadada

Originally posted by: bluetides

Reshma,

Read your story last night and it is really good.

Reason for their fight or the whole fight is so natural. It happens so in reality as well. ACP sirs reaction on reason for fight made me remember how my dad used to react on listening to fights of me and my bro...😆😆😆

Really..😆 That's nice 😊

There are 3 points that I am not totally convinced, but as I always say, I leave it to writers liberty.

What are they? Just tell me na? It'll make me improve 😃

The way they both patch up is again so natural dear.. touched my heart...

It wd have been good if Abhi says sorry too. I agree that Daya did big mistake, but Abhi has contribution as well na. A sweet little sorry from him would be soothing for me. Choro, I am a person who tells sorry very easily. 😃😃

Oh.. I wanted to just show how Daya sir gets emotional about it. Abhi sir is emotionally stronger and radical than Daya na. That's why.😃

Originally posted by: Reshma.

Thanks for reading and reviewing 😃

Originally posted by: Reshma.

Thanks for reading and reviewing 😃