STORY : Barsaat ki raat (complete)- on second post - Page 6

Done reading 😊😛
Didn't know you are soo good in hindi vis di..😆
This story is really interesting and entertaining 😃
people here have already written a lot of reviews of the story so not repeating.
The epilogue..😆
Thanks for writing and sharing the story 😊

Read the story yesterday night... Reminded me of the Golden days.. with trio investigating a pure murder mystery which they just happened to cross by... was imagining those old scenes.. where trio in raincoat... going to the building in which the girl stays to investigate...

There have been many instances where we saw them late in the night in rain investigating something... but ... trio in auto 😆 bechaaron ko ek taxi mein bitha dete... 😆

I badly want to see trio investigating a pure murder mystery, sans crowd, sans vanishing acts.

Yaar please tum Mumbai shift ho jao aur fw join karlo humhe sweet sweet episode dekhne ko milega 😉

There are 3 minor typo error...i m saying this only u can correct it...

1]In the first scene - Daya sir's 1st dialog
Daya: Theek hai sir, main neeche jaakar jaadi nikaalta hoon. Tab tak aap dono neeche aa jayiye.
It is probably 'gaadi'...

2]Scene-Murder spot
After Abhijeet-Daya left
There is one dialog of ACP sir
ACP: Dekhi Gaurav, us gun par ungliyon ke nishaan hain. Hume tumhare aur tumhare baaki do uncles...
It is probably 'Dekho'...

3]Scene : Santosh Nagar - where the auto driver Sunil had dropped off the girl

Exactly at that moment, there was an SMS ring. It was none other than Tina's mobile giving an sms alert or a cash withdrawal from an ATM in Mumbai airport.
It is probably 'of'...


Now come to the story...
Very simple murder story but how you presented it that is mind blowing (this simplicity is forgotten by fw writer)...its your specialty...👏
The first scene at bureau...followed by due to heavy rain the parking area is filled with water...totally real scenario...👏
Just loved this dialog - how sweet !!! 😳
ACP: Tum dono ko baaki team ke saath ghar jaana tha. Ab dekho tum log bhi phas gaye mere saath.
Abhijeet: Kya keh rahe hain sir'agar ghar jaane ke baad hume pata chalta ki aap yahan akele phas gaye hain, toh hum waapas nahi aate?

Then next scene Daya sir could not find taxi & took auto...another real scenario...👏
[FW never show such real scenario...]

And the whole trio conversation with Sunil ---- just lovely part of your story...👏

Its very good u involved local police & forensic database part is also very good one. 👏

Forensic investigation at murder spot is also very good. 👏

There are lots of small small elements which are mind-blowing, for eg.
As soon as the auto started, ACP handed each of them a sandwich. He knew they had not had their dinner.

Overall fantastic..if it would be shown as episode i would surely rate it 5..😃
Dil khush kar diya yaar 😃😃

Keep writing 👍🏼

Thanks for those long reviews GD and Deba...mera dill khush ho gaya.

I got a sudden brain wave on last Saturday and decided to write before something distracts me. 3 hours on Saturday and about 4 hours on Sunday evening. I didn't proof read it...nothing...if I had, I might have messed up or deleted it.

I am very happy with this particular attempt...as much as my first ever story here. I wanted to see a pure murder mystery with just trio and salunkhe. I might have added Freddie too, but it would have been tough for me to distribute dialogues and would have taken more time to finish.


Thanks for reading, everyone...🤗

Originally posted by: visrom

Thanks for those long reviews GD and Deba...mera dill khush ho gaya.

I got a sudden brain wave on last Saturday and decided to write before something distracts me. 3 hours on Saturday and about 4 hours on Sunday evening. I didn't proof read it...nothing...if I had, I might have messed up or deleted it.

I am very happy with this particular attempt...as much as my first ever story here. I wanted to see a pure murder mystery with just trio and salunkhe. I might have added Freddie too, but it would have been tough for me to distribute dialogues and would have taken more time to finish.


Thanks for reading, everyone...🤗

No problem at all...it has not too many errors so its totally okay...
And keep writing...its always refreshing our moods 😃

Originally posted by: visrom

Thanks for those long reviews GD and Deba...mera dill khush ho gaya.

I got a sudden brain wave on last Saturday and decided to write before something distracts me. 3 hours on Saturday and about 4 hours on Sunday evening. I didn't proof read it...nothing...if I had, I might have messed up or deleted it.

I am very happy with this particular attempt...as much as my first ever story here. I wanted to see a pure murder mystery with just trio and salunkhe. I might have added Freddie too, but it would have been tough for me to distribute dialogues and would have taken more time to finish.


Thanks for reading, everyone...🤗

first of all-nice promo Vis-Qualis submerged in water till window!!!!😆

wow superb story...!!!