my next story @ pg 4: Duo ki Dosti - Page 5

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dayakhtar thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#41
hey SAKSHI DEAR...😊
hope u ll b doin' well...😊
4 being LATE
⭐️d IDEA u hv cum up wid is⭐️
👏IMPROVEMENT as COMPARED 2 ur PREVIOUS EFFORT is👏
😃d way u hv HIGHLITED d DUO BOND is sooo😃
⭐️at CHARATERISATION n SCRIPTING⭐️
👏so u DESERVE👏
TRY 2 AVOID d ABRUPT ENDING
u need an IMPROVEMENT at STORY WRAPUP
(plz dnt mind)
HUGS
😊4 u😊
😛a small TREAT😛
😛a small token of affection😛
take care😊
gud luk😊
keep smilin'😊
regards😊
670778 thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#42
hey SHAKSHI
hmmm to PUNJABI😉
jini SOHNI KUDI tu hai uni hi SOHNI story likhi hai..
hr scene nu bhut vadhia dhang naal eleborate kita hai
DUO di DOSTI nu bhut vadhiya treeke nal pash kita
i loved it...
DUO COMPANIONSHIP story di jaan hai
teri story dia kuch lines menu bhut jyada changia lgiya😛

Abhi: yr itna formally qun baat kar rahe ho? Tumhe pata hai na mein tumhare bina reh nai sakta. Ab aise baat karoge tou..

Daya(smiles secretely): tou.

Abhi: tou yr kuch nai mein tujhe chodunga nai.. tum dekhna..

Daya: dekhlunga..

Abhi: daya key bache.. bhot shaitan ho gaya aj kal' acha yr vaise tumne mujhe maaf kiya ya nahi.. me tum par bewajah ukhad gaya tha'

Daya: yr tum to meri jaan ho tou tumse naraj reh sakta hun kya?'


ina lines ne DIl KHUSH kr dita😃

keep it up👏👏



Edited by AmanDeep24 - 13 years ago
Soonaali thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#43

hey SAKSHI yaar tum toh kamak ho

yaar no words to explain just want to say gr8 job

for u
DD please keep one thing in mind that when u are writting emotional scence in CID be care full it may go out
in this story u hadle it welly
Edited by Soonaali - 13 years ago
Reserved_angel thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#44

Originally posted by: dayakhtar

hey SAKSHI DEAR...😊

hope u ll b doin' well...😊
4 being LATE
⭐️d IDEA u hv cum up wid is⭐️
👏IMPROVEMENT as COMPARED 2 ur PREVIOUS EFFORT is👏
😃d way u hv HIGHLITED d DUO BOND is sooo😃
⭐️at CHARATERISATION n SCRIPTING⭐️
👏so u DESERVE👏
TRY 2 AVOID d ABRUPT ENDING
u need an IMPROVEMENT at STORY WRAPUP
(plz dnt mind)
HUGS
😊4 u😊
😛a small TREAT😛
😛a small token of affection😛
take care😊
gud luk😊
keep smilin'😊
regards😊


thanks di...
n didn't mind any of ur words..

so this one 4 u...


Reserved_angel thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#45

Originally posted by: AmanDeep24

hey SHAKSHI
hmmm to PUNJABI😉
jini SOHNI KUDI tu hai uni hi SOHNI story likhi hai..
hr scene nu bhut vadhia dhang naal eleborate kita hai
DUO di DOSTI nu bhut vadhiya treeke nal pash kita
i loved it...
DUO COMPANIONSHIP story di jaan hai
teri story dia kuch lines menu bhut jyada changia lgiya😛

Abhi: yr itna formally qun baat kar rahe ho? Tumhe pata hai na mein tumhare bina reh nai sakta. Ab aise baat karoge tou..

Daya(smiles secretely): tou.

Abhi: tou yr kuch nai mein tujhe chodunga nai.. tum dekhna..

Daya: dekhlunga..

Abhi: daya key bache.. bhot shaitan ho gaya aj kal' acha yr vaise tumne mujhe maaf kiya ya nahi.. me tum par bewajah ukhad gaya tha'

Daya: yr tum to meri jaan ho tou tumse naraj reh sakta hun kya?'


ina lines ne DIl KHUSH kr dita😃

keep it up👏👏



thanks dii
n muje sari baat smjh aa gyi..yipee muje punjabi bhi aa gyi...

this one 4 u...

Reserved_angel thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#46

Originally posted by: Soonaali

hey DD yaar tum toh kamak ho

yaar no words to explain just want to say gr8 job

for u
DD please keep one thing in mind that when u are writting emotional scence in CID be care full it may go out
in this story u hadle it welly


thanks diii

last tym se shyd better hay story..

n at last this one 4 u...

shreela thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#47
sooo sweet!! very well-written Sakshi!😊
Reserved_angel thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#48

Originally posted by: shreela

sooo sweet!! very well-written Sakshi!😊


thanks shreela...

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