The problem is that i don't think i am clearly able to share my POV and why I seem to understand the characters, and all of them not just the ones that are "human". I can see where Radhika is coming from because of how her life has been.. same with Vish and same with Dev. They are a product of thier cicumstances and upbringing.. and do what they think is right according to those norms. Rads love is not understood by majority because its not the conventional "human" way of showing love. Its the silent, sacrifical and stone-hearted way of loving. Not everyone is that way.. actually most people are not that way. Its not in her desire to be perfect in the eyes of society that she shuns Dev and refuses to tell the truth. Its in her desire to prevent damage like death of Shashtriji and Dadi and the humiliation the truth will cause the Purohits and the Shashtris. Why is that hard to understand. If to do this she has to make herself immune to Dev's pleadings then so be it.
Just like some of you have a hard time understand how Rads can be so cruel to Dev, i have a hard time understanding how Dev can be so lost in his love that he doesn't see what the consequences are that lay ahead. Like the time he wanted Rads to confess her love and he kept making googlie eyes at Rads all in front of Chacha-Arjun-and Mrinu and even signed off a check without looking in that time. WTH? Where is the responsible Raj Purohit? Or asking Rads to remain in his sight... how selfish? What he doesn't expect Rads to ever have a life because he loves her.. so he will do as she bids and be a husband to her sister but he wants her around to witness it and never leave his house to possibly move on and marry someone else or he is not thinking what the world will think of her as she remains in her sister's house? So Dev is a highly emotional thinker and Rads is the opposite. If you can understand one, you must understand the other too.. because a balanced person would meet these two characters somewhere in the middle. It takes Radhika's counsel for Dev to understand what the future of his demands and behaviors are and it takes Dev's consel for Radhika to understand that she cannot completely ignore what she feels and her feelings are not dead and very much alive within her, ones she cannot bury.
So they need each other to be the way they are to bring a balance in this relationship. They love each other, the way they are. So why can't we love them the way they are and try and understand why they are the way they are.
It is hard to understand Radhika's thinking because to date, it has not provided the results she seems to expect. She is claiming to do all this for Shastriji and Purohit family, but in reality, have any of her efforts been successful? In fact, the situation has worsened and will continue to worsen. If Radhika truly cares about the reputation of the Purohit family, she wouldn't let Vishaka near them! This is not the first, second, or even THIRD time Vishaka has pulled this kind of behavior. Look at the anguish Vishaka has caused her own father. To a certain extent, Shastriji himself is to blame for this. The idea that marriage will "tame" Vishaka is rubbish. Instead, all he did was dump his responsibilities and problems on the Purohits.
By now, all of Vrindavan is aware that Vishaka ran away to become an actress. The townspeople are all gossiping about it, and it won't be long before the news reaches Delhi. Whatever 'izzat' the Purohits had is in jeopardy regardless of whether or not Vishaka comes back.
The reason I do not side with Radhika on anything is because everything she has done to date has not only hurt Dev, but has also hurt everyone else linked to this travesty. When is she going to realize that continuing to lie isn't actually benefiting anyone? My disdain for her character has not always been present. It has escalated as the show progressed. There was a certain point at which she crossed the line, when Dev came to know the truth about Vishaka. Before then you're probably right, Dev was thinking selfishly. He was only thinking about his love for Radhika and not considering his family. At that point, Vishaka was doing her drama of being a good bahu and he didn't realize it was just a drama. He thought she was making a genuine effort. Ultimately, he did listen to Radhika...at least until he realized the truth about Vishaka. After that, it was no longer JUST about how much he loved Radhika. He was as concerned for his family's honor as Radhika, because he knew Vishaka was a constant threat. He also saw how Vishaka treated Radhika by sending her off to that sleazy bar. Even if he wasn't in love with Radhika, what Vishaka did to her sister was despicable and showed her true character. And then, even after all that Rads did, Vishaka threw her under the bus when Purab came to the house. Dev was not only infuriated by the fact that Radhika had to endure all of this, but he also realized that the total lack of scruples is not good for his family.
By now though, cat is out of the bag. Everyone knows Vishaka was putting on pretenses. Everyone knows what her true desires are. And STILL Radhika would hesitate. How can she say that she is concerned for both families at this point? As far as Shastriji is concerned, Vishaka is dead. For the Purohits, their reputation is down the drain whether or not Vishaka returns.
Let's not pretend she is so innocent either. As I said, if she truly wanted Dev and Vishaka to come together, she should have remarried, stopped performing all the vrats and poojas, and stayed away so that Dev could move on with his life. She has put him in a very difficult position. Koolsadhu is right, he is being kicked around like a football between both sisters. Radhika is constantly dangling a carrot in front of him by not marrying. If she did this ages ago when her marriage to Keshav was fixed, it would have given him the closure he needed to move on.
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