Originally posted by: -JC-
Wanted to add one more thing that i remember now... about submitting in love. Rads has also submitted to Dev not only Dev doing everything that Rads wants. Rads promised him she'll stay in his sight and to keep that promise she went to extremes like running after a car till her legs gave up and enduring the insults of Mrinu in Purohit house.. and even when the whole house insulted her and was throwing her out, she begged to let her remain just because Dev wanted her around. Where was her self respect. Dev loves this girl who has no thought for herself ever. So obviously there is a part of Dev that is just as selfless. ITs a quality that appeals to Dev. The fact however is only that Dev is selfless when it comes to the people that love him, and Rads is selfless when it comes to the people that she loves.
How difficult must it have been for Rads to stay in Purohit house and watch her love belonging to her sister. To constantly have to push Dev away from herself. It was definitely a struggle because every time Dev has shown his vulnerability to her, the pain has reflected on her face even if she turns around away from Dev so that he won't see it. What you call as a submitting of love on Radhika's part can also be construed by many as a guilt conscience .......guilt , for knowing in her heart that he is not even married to Vishakha ! Guilt that she , Radhika , was his real wife . What you see as submission to his wishes was actually an attempt on her part to have the cake and eat it too ............just as Rainabow has explained clearly in her post . Having the cake was keeping Vishakha as her priority intact and eating the cake was living near him as her religious beliefs pricked her conscience that actualy she was his ife , the seven rounds were done with her , and only and only she knew it . Otherwise which other wishes did this character submit to ? He asked her to come and see her father in the Hospital .........NO. He asked her to leave the ashram .........NOpe . He wanted to leave Vishakha after it was found she was hobnobbing with strange men , still the answer was NOPE . So this submission that u speak of..........look at it very carefully . Was it really such a struggle for her to watch Dev living with another woman , her own sister , hmmmm, I may sound callous , but I honestly don't think so coz Radhika is the Eternally suffering Madonna type who r unfortunately happy only when they r in pain simultaneously . U Urself described her in another post of urs in this same thread ........that she is indeed the stone hearted , unemotional type loving kind . Though i had a problem as i found the statement highly paradoxical , I understood what u were saying . Girls like Radhika smile with tears brimming in their eyes , and this , my dear , is the blunt truth . They need pain to survive .
Dev has only ever asked Rads of one thing.. that was to remain around him at all times. She tried her best and gave her 100% to fulfil that wish of his. It was finally under impossible situation that she had to leave. Rads has only ever asked Dev to fulfil husbandly duties towards Vish.. to love her.. but she had to ask that same thing of him many times, as a request or in a sterner tone, becuase Dev has never given his 100% in trying to do what Rads asked of him. So in a way Dev has been adamant has not succumbed to what Rads wants just because he loves her.. or actually he hasn't been able to do what Rads wants because he loves her. Yup and that makes him human , realistic and endearing . If he had tried to work the marraige with Vish as viewers we may have hated him . Refreshing character , really . Just needs to stand up more to that girl who pretends to be moralistic and actually violates religious vows by encoraging a marraige that didnt take place at all .
In this way i don't see Dev as a mindless idiot who can't stand firm in his decisions. He never does what his conscience doesn't allow him to do. Whenever Rads has pushed him towards Vish, he himself has realized the necesity of it, because to him he is married to Vish. He has understood why Rads asks this of him and thus he even thinks of trying. There is practical reasoning behind what Rads asks of him.. there is too much at stake.
But Dev asking Rads to always remain with him.. was completely ridiculous demand. He didn't spare a thought for how Rads could remain in his house forever without facing insults for being a leech and having alterior motives. Yet Rads did everything in her power to make that happen. That was her love for him. she couldn't give him anything else he desired because other people's lives were at stake too... but this she could do her best to make happen so she did. Mindless toh he is . Mindwallah toh hai only Shastriji . Dev had decided to leave Vishakha . Radhika made him change his mind . If Wife is meeting strange men behind his back and he decides to leeave her and then changes hurriedly again coz Radhika convinced him ............a chit of a girl who really has no exprience of life whatsoever , the man needs to take serious lessons from his sasur who remains firm on his decisions while the idiotic female trio in his family rave , rant and burst in flood of tears ...............Amma , Devki , and Radhika . Firm as a rock he is , dramatic and unethical as the Tarpan was . Hats off to him coz these 3 ladies r no less .
as for comparing Shashtriji's ability to go beyong Devki and Amma's emotional blackmailing and standing firm in what he decided.. he wasn't alwasy that firm was he? If you think back to the time when the show started, he couldn't do much to shut Amma up against Rads. And from the looks of it, he himself agreed that he failed to get Rads the equal treatment that he wanted to give her all throughout her childhood. So early on Shashtriji wasn't as strong as he is now in ignoring the people. He gave in to the demands of society and that is why Rads grew up believing that she didn't deserve anything. Shashtriji's inability to be firm is why Rads was never allowed to enter the inner temple until recently when Dev stepped in to speak for her.
Dev is not incapable of making decisions but he is not strong enough to ignore the effect of his decision on others. He is not experienced enough to know that people will eventually accept his decision and learn to live with it. And in Dev's situation his family is not like Amma. Amma does drama and over the years Shashtriji knows that. Dev's Dadi, Vaishali etc don't do that kind of natak. The effect his decisions will have on them is real and therefore a risk he is not willing to take.
\Now that everyone else has agreed to RaDev marriage, Radhika is for the first time thinking of her own future with Dev. And she is right in thinking that these same people who are now thinking only of Dev's happiness [and its true, not one of them thought of how Rads feels about Dev, whether she is capable of loving her sister's husband? or how she feels about being a second wife, because the people who brought this proposal only know her to be the second wife, even Vaishali didn't think that she is bringing Rads to the place VIsh was in and how Dev treated Vish because he didn't love her.. she didn't once ask Dev about his past love and how he accepted the proposal for Rads).. so no one really cares how Rads feels... and thats what they will do in future if Vish ever returns for whatever reason. They will ignore Rads' feelings and remember only that Vish is the first wife and therefore has all the rights. So her requests to allow her to make sure one last time before she strengthens her heart against vishakha's reentry is genuine. Even tho Shashtriji has killed Vish in his heart to Radhika she is still alive. But to turn her mind away from thinking first for her sister, and to become a person who thinks first of her own relationship with her love and her husband she needs to make this last attempt. The rest of ur analysis I have no problems with .. Like I told u , my points r entirely diffrent .😊