Today's Take - Parallel Conversations - Page 3

Originally posted by: golpokobita

Good to see your post!

You are right. The kind of problem is new to our society .. but its increasing rapidly. With the rise of individualism, women's participation in outside works and intrusion of western lifestyles.. these problems are increasing.. Joint families are breaking. Because, if you are in a joint family you just can't have a life of your own, in your own style.. Jobs are defined there and women in joint family are supposed to do household and take care of family.. and their jobs are for the whole family not for a particular unit (her own husband and children.).. Whether its good or bad is a different question altogether, but its an obvious and inevitable reality.

Mukut is a part of a joint family and he has known and seen all his life how women acts in his family.. its not only his wife, every woman. So if he thinks he is not getting what he is entitled as a husband from his wife... he is the one who should have solved the problem.. he could have talked to his wife or device something which would help both of them to look into each other's needs. He is not the only sufferer, kaumadi, too is a sufferer. What has he done to know or ensure what his wife wants from him... let alone providing her with those things!

Then there is another point he makes, Mayuri is smart, well dressed, eloquent and an interesting company. No problem with that. But the question is, he knew it when he married kaumadi that she is not like that. She is a village girl who was not exposed to such things in life. What has he done to ensure kaumadi also gets the chances to change herself from a village girl to a modern girl? Has he invested single amount of time or money or energy for kaumadi??? He said when he used to come back home, kaumadi would have remained busy with children. What has he done then?? Has he shared kaumadi's burden?? Spared some of his time for his own children?

So i think, all those arguments he was giving are lame and cowardice. He said he was not running away from his responsibilities.. Really??? Wasn't it his responsibility to remain loyal to his wife, to understand his wife's problems and to extend his hands to her?? For me, there was not a word which justifies his double -standard personality and lowly behaviors to his wife and children.

Anyways, i think I should stop now... I am getting too emotional ..

Another thing I think CVs should take care of.. that is, things are moving too fast! They should give each issue/track some time ..

Agree with you on many of your points. I have always said that in a joint family, the onus is always on the husband to support his wife .. she enters a new place, new people, she cannot lay down the law and start doing whatever she wants to do ... she has to have her husband's support. And that is what they showed very beautifully with Chhanchhan and Manav ... he always supported her in whatever she did. When Umaben sent her to the kitchen to clean up, he came down to help her. And vice versa ... when she cancelled their trip, and he got angry, she went out of her way to cajole him.
So it is a two way street ... the problem is that Kaumudi never had the confidence to do what Chhanchhan does ... she has been brought up differently.
And Mukut is taking the easy way out, by blaming her for all his problems with the marriage ... agree with you completely, if he had problem with her being uneducated, unpolished, did he ever try to help her overcome that? Did he ever have the guts to go against his mom and say, sorry you handle your guests, I'm taking my wife out? Kaumudi can't say that, but HE can. He could have encouraged her to learn English, to study by correspondence ... any number of things to improve herself ...
And if he had such a problem with marrying an uneducated village girl, he should have said so in the first place. Why grumble now after two kids?

But I hope is that they show Kaumudi also changing and becoming a little more assertive, not taking on everyone's chores, and being a doormat ... that is her fault - maybe not hers, but that of her upbringing and that of Umaben to some extent ... the rules she enforces so strictly, she does not bother about the needs of her sons, vs the family as a collective whole. And I also want Kaumudi to try for that extra polish ... maybe start a tiffin business, do something to become more independent and develop her self-respect and pride.

Originally posted by: jaya100

Loved your take Dia and loved the episode too. Agree, firstly ChanMan need to learn from SanMan who close their bedroom door even to drink tea.😃 The cv's did really well today...they are hurtling down the road with their tracks (I still wonder why especially if the March extension is true) but at the same time they didn't miss out on the depth needed for the important scenes. I love that because they don't waste time on useless camera panning scenes they can give us beautiful little scenes which tie the show together like the SanMan scene or the RanChanKaumudi scene and even the homework scene.

The parrallel scenes were fantastic and realistically done. It made sense that Manav would talk to Mukut and CC to Kaumudi. The CC-Kaumudi scene was beautiful. Kudos to the actress who plays Kaumudi, it would be so easy to overact in this scene but she gave it the right amount of emotion to show her devastation but stayed within the boundaries of the character. Even in grief Kaumudi is thinking of others, in this case UB. I loved the way the modern CC was explaining the rights that the mangla sutra around Kaumudi's neck gave her...again this was part of the show's original concept that being contemporary doesn't mean that a girl does't value her traditions. I think the show got off on the wrong foot with the 'modern bahu' tag, it should always have been a girl of today as Sanaya described it. I really want to know which way the cv's are going with this and I hope they'll go about the track in a way in which they make Kaumudi self reliant and increase her self esteem (my heart bled when she said 'the fault must lie with me'...how many generations of women have passed on this self depreciating way of thinking down to the next generation of girls, why don't we make our daughters stronger mentally?). I want the cv's to make up for not making Purvi self sufficient by showing Kaumudi taking care of herself and her daughters and have Mukut work at winning her back rather than Kaumudi changing for Mukut. I've been wondering if the cv's will go the Biwi#1 route and have Mukut move in with Mayuri and CC will make Kaumudi send the girls there...that little one (Sakshi??) is so cute and I can just imagine her giving Mayuri a hard time.😊

The Mukut scene was also one where it made you stop and listen to his viewpoint.I found myself again empathizing with Mukut even though I couldn't excuse the route he decided to take. He's become defensive and defiant on being discovered and is justifying his actions by saying that he is still taking care of his responsibilities although he seems to have forgotten about the duty he has towards his families emotional well being. Instead of blaming Kaumudi for not going to the concert he should have spoken to UB and insisted on taking her. Somehow, even though I don't like his actions I can't hate him either because he too is a victim of his upbringing.

I actually don't even blame UB totally because by making her son marry a girl she chose she just did what generations before her did and in fact what she herself probably went through and like her elders she just expected KauMuk to get on with the business of being a married couple as generations before them had. I guess with the speed with which people are evolving because of all the outside influences it's hard for some people to understand and keep up with the changing times.

Thanks, Jaya ... I too loved the episode, and I love the non-melodramatic way they are showing things.

Agree with you about Kaumudi ... the natural reaction of a woman with her upbringing is to blame herself. She has very low self-esteem, and that grouch of a husband does absolutely nothing for it! Yes, he has different expectations, but then he has to tell her and then help her ... she can't do much on her own, especially with that Hitler MIL Umaben breathing down her neck with all her rules and regulations. Mukut has never opposed Umaben directly ... he always supports her, so how does he expect Kaumudi to go against all her rules? I had the same thought about the concert ... Kaumudi was cooking for Umaben's guests ... if Mukut wanted, he could have told his mom that he was taking his wife out, and UB had to manage ... Kaumudi could not do that. That is the difference between them and Chhanchhan Manav - Manav supports Chhanchhan, and hence she can do whatever she does.

Changing times, changing expectations ... in this case Kaumudi has not kept up with the times ... she is doing what her mother and MIL have done, but Mukut wants something different. Well then, he has to support her more.

I really hope they take thier time over this track ... it is very interestingly poised. The way they have shown Mukut air his issues and Manav listen to him patiently, gives me hope ... fingers crossed.

Originally posted by: vanitha3d

Great take Diya .As per the spoiler Kaumudi goes missing so i think CC and Manav hides her may be in Sarabai house so that Mukut understand the value of Kaumudi and hope they wont close this Kaumudi issue in one episode.

That would be interesting! Mukut would realise the value of Kaumudi instantly when she is not there to pander to his every whim! 😆

Really want them to take their time over this ... and show growth in both Mukut and Kaumudi ... not just black and white saint and sinner stuff!

Originally posted by: tvshowfan

Showviewer congrats.

Diya well said, i am enjoying the flow,

Will be interesting to see how this new stuff affects the dynamics of chanman relation ship

Loving the way they r notmaking chanchan mahan in solving the issue ,

The way manav supportschancan yet has manly talk with mukut where in at room its cc and kaumudi

Cvs r doing good

Yes, I love the way Chhanchhan Manav are not just do-gooder preachers ... they are both taking the time to listen and understand the issues first ... the most important thing to do. Both the Chhanchhan-Kaumudi talk and the Manav-Mukut talk were very good ... really liked them! I wonder if CC Manav will now be on opposite sides on this issue, and whether it will affect their own dynamics?

Of course today it will all blow up and come out in front of the family ... then the reactions of the rest will be interesting to watch!

Take it SLOWLY, cv's ... that's my only wish!

Originally posted by: Meera...

Ooops diya interner was down..i was wondering what happ..u didnt make a post till now...

Good episode...Loved the way made Kaumathy realise regd Mukut..now tht kaumathy will go missing need to cif its a plan by chanman or she disappears on her own...

Nowdays people have an affiar after marriage has become a common thing and foe men..You dont have to telkll...thm...

The more u probe more they act smart..sure cc will make sure mukut learns a lessonn

Good post diya..

Thanks, Meera/Kaajal (still getting used to the change 😉)

Not just about Mukut learning his lesson, I hope also about Kaumudi learning not to be a doormat and developing some self-respect and pride ... she gets pushed around by everyone in the house!

Originally posted by: .Mandy.

Great take Diya! I was shocked to see Kaumudi learn the truth so fast but its better than seeing things drag at least now things are out in the open and things can be dealt with head on. Like you I do not want to see a rushed plot where things go the predictable route where Mukut ends things with the girlfriend and returns to Kaumudi. CC is safe and with this track the CVs have the perfect way to show the clash between nayi soch v/s traditional. I would love to see Manav and CC helping Kaumudi and Mukat through this

Thanks Mandy ... more than Kaumudi learning the truth so fast, I wish it hadn't come out in front of the family so fast ... I would have liked to see CC help Kaumudi to develop some modernity, maybe learn English, set up a tiffin service ... develop a sense of her own self worth. Liked CC's advice to Kaumudi - just let Mukut spend more time with Mayuri, he'll come running back to you! Probably very true 😆 So I wonder whether Kaumudi going missing is part of CC's plan or Kaumudi goes off on her own.

I really hope they take this slowly. Want Manav and Chanchan to help Mukut-Kau through this by showing them how a husband wife have to act as partners and support each other.

Originally posted by: ddFan2012

Awesome post Diya...

Copying comments on Guinea's thread.

Nice episode though a bit fast paced.

The first thing that crossed my mind was a famous saying "Ghar ki murgi daal barabar"

The Manav-Mukut convo was excellent.. Mukut's excuses for having an affair are not justified but differences between the couple do exist and should be addressed.

I am not condoning Mukut's actions, but in the process of keeping our family happy and pleasing everyone...we women do have a tendency to sideline our priorities as a wife or even forget our role as a woman. Mukut sought a Menka😛 oops Mayuri in his wife.

LOL - The Manthan and Sanjana convo was funny. There is a whole lot of difference between sharing a cup of tea with a girlfriend and wife. Poor Sanjana.

CC's convo didn't sit well with me...maybe cause it was just to make her feel good. I was actually looking out for a fountain of tears to flow out of Kaumudi...but it wasnt there...(slack in direction and lukewarm acting) something like this should have shaken K up completely ...funny even the palla did not come off her head...

I hope the CVs dont mess this track...its such an important one...

Thanks Diana ... forget what I wrote there, but adding ... agree that we wives do have a tendency to sideline our priorities as wife in the interest of family/kids ... have been guilty of the same thing myself ... but there the husband has to really step and sort things out, especially if it pertains to his parents. A wife cannot put her foot down in front of her in-laws ... there the difference between bahu and beta really comes out!!! So it is the husband's job and duty to tackle his parents ... if he doesn't, it's his failing too. Although the wife should support him and get her point across, that she cannot, but he can ... again the need for communication between wife and husband!

Kaumudi's reaction ... I think for her, her husband having an EMA is not so shocking or terrifying as the thought of him leaving her ... her self-esteem is low enough for her not to be too surprised at the former, but it is surprising how many wives put up with their husband's EMA's as long as their marriage stays safe, and especially when the kids are involved. It's usually only when a woman is either financially secure or independent, or when she has absolute parental support that she can think of breaking her marriage.

Lets see how they take this ... I really hope it's not the usual saas bahu way of Mukut is a sinner and Kaumudi is a saint ... hope they do make it different.

Originally posted by: -Unknowndesire

I loved the episode alot because it was Uma ben less no offense but I find her hard to bare her screen but I have accepted the fact she's one of the lead. I'm in a happy mood today loved Sanjana and Marthan scene they're hilarious. I loved both the mukut/Manav & Chanchan/Kaumudi scenes.

Very interesting & entertaining episode.

LOL .. I like Umaben, especially when CC gets the better of her, or when Dadaji shuts her up! 😆

Sanjana an Manthan are cute ... theirs is not an ideal marriage either ... wonder what track they will show for them.

Chhanchhan-Kaumudi and Mukut-Manav scenes were both excellent! 👏

Originally posted by: kbtr

Thanks for your post. Always look forward to it. Just came online after watching the epi. So...

A very interesting episode tackling a problem that is increasingly prevalent in our society today, a problem peculiar to the Indian way of thinking, where for a girl, after marriage responsibilities to the family are sometimes more important than towards her husband. And how changing times means that expectations are changing, and troubles arise when one partner has not kept pace.

...

And he did make sense, which was why Manav actually listened quietly ... it wasn't just an affair, it was the feeling of neglect by his wife at the expense of her domestic chores and duties to the children, and a sharing of common interests with Mayuri. He has no intention of walking out on his responsibilities, but he has equally no intention of giving up a friendship which gives him the companionship he lacks in his marriage.

...

And let's for a moment suppose that Kaumudi actually lives the way Mukut wants.

Yeah, can you see it? The whole household would be in a disarray. It's really easy to take the perspective of the other when everything appears magically out of nowhere. Food, clothes, clean house, etc... but has Mukut ever helped in all the chores Kaumudi does? If she stopped who would do all that she is. This is an argument of time immemorial. Mukut wants everything, yet doesn't give anything in return!

Anyway, the $10K kinda makes it obvious that Mayuri is after his (UB's!) money. As they say, a fool and his gold are soon parted!

I so agree with you on your comment .. so easy for a guy to say that all a woman does is cook and clean ... but if she didn't, the house would fall apart! I always say housework is the most thankless job in the world ... no one appreciates it when things go smoothly, but the moment one thing falls out of place, all hell breaks loose! That's why all men should help in the chores at home ... they should actually live on their own for a while, then only will they learn to appreciate all that a woman does!
A pet argument of mine!!! 😆

I hope Mayuri is not just after Mukut's money ... that would make it too black and white! Let's see how the cv's take this ... just want them to take their time over it and show some actual nayi soch!

Liked yesterday's episode. .😊

Loved the way koumudi was shown. .she is very heart broken yet is strong to not show her vulnerable state to the family lest they will be worried. .She loves her family more than herself. .

Looking forward for more to come in this track. .hope CVs do not rush and clearly show the realisation of mukut and also koumudi. .

And i am very late here 😛