The sixth Black Hole. Invitees only... - Page 29

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AllThingsNice thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: Heema22

Here the conversation.

Leena : who do you think started this Karwa chaud . Man or a women ?

Shama :.one shadu , jisaki BIWI bohot Moti thi.. We wanted thinner wife . So he made her fast . No no I think he Was foodie so he wanted every thing for himself . No no he was lazy so his wife decided to make him work and so she came up with " Pani Pilana " hard work for him

Leena . Tu to besham ho .

Shama hum to Layak ma ke nalayak Bache hey so Sharam kis bat ki ?

And Song followed . Remember they did not keep Any vert . Shama want to do statistical survey to find out how many kids are born in July in India ??so funny

Sabse pehle shaadi thi, yaaron jahan mein jisne ki
Usko dhoondho, pakdo peeto, galti usne ki
Woh tha saudai, banke kasai
Usne toh sabki lutiya dubayi
Paani mile na maaro aisi jagah, haan jagah
Zor ka jhatka haye zoron se laga, haan laga

I really don't know what to say to this because this is insane 😆😆

AllThingsNice thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: _saumya_

Kaddu 🤗

Both of you had asked me if something was wrong with me long time ago but I was not able to speak up but now that I am better than how I was then, I will write it some day. Not here but PM.
Honey, you are right. He is ready to marry and after he told his parents about it , he wants to marry asap 😆 Dumbo! He feels that would avoid tension. He is right there but there are other things to consider aur sach bolein toh, I dont know what are the other important things that should be considered 🤣 but I am not ready for it. 😆

my net connection has gone mad [:x[]

Take your time. With the PM and with the marriage. If you are not yet ready, then don't marry. And if either set of parents interferes, then tell them you're sure about marrying this guy, but only not sure when. 😆

And about moms and their saying hurtful things, one ability you need to develop soon is selective hearing. A most helpful trait that will keep you in good health for the rest of life. Use it after you get married too. Its handy and convenient most of the time! 😃 BTW, I must admit that this is the conclusion I came to after exchanging PMs with Heema about Shalini..

Edited by AllThingsNice - 11 years ago
Heema22 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: _saumya_

Kaddu 🤗

Both of you had asked me if something was wrong with me long time ago but I was not able to speak up but now that I am better than how I was then, I will write it some day. Not here but PM.
Honey, you are right. He is ready to marry and after he told his parents about it , he wants to marry asap 😆 Dumbo! He feels that would avoid tension. He is right there but there are other things to consider aur sach bolein toh, I dont know what are the other important things that should be considered 🤣 but I am not ready for it. 😆

my net connection has gone mad [:x[]


I added this to my last post
Saumya . I prepared notes for my group about stress management I will PM them to you .
I am going to write on self esteem . Requested in plane language by Kaddu so I will forward that too . May be it will help you .just give me some time .

I know how you feel about 7 Pheres and piece of paper . I am very distracted now but I will write about it . You have lots of decision to make . Lucky you that you have him trusted person who loves you that's enough, to tie a knot . Your family will be at ease . You are never free of tension or stress it's different kind of stress but players will be different , he is the one whom you can talk and solve problems together. At your parents place your are all alone and cornered and suffocating for air .no good baby . You need way out to find Job away from home . Another solution.
AllThingsNice thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Sorry, need to leave right away. Will return tomorrow with a couple of thoughts I have. Until then, ciao. Take care, all!
Heema22 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: AllThingsNice

Sorry, need to leave right away. Will return tomorrow with a couple of thoughts I have. Until then, ciao. Take care, all!


Goodnight ! Glad I saw you . We need to take care of this Baccha . Charity starts at home .
Yes my sisters are insane . I am very distracted . They are non stop fun today is karvachud and fasting women who are praying for their husbands and husbands are having fun with other women . I wish I can tape it and send it over for your entertainment .
Edited by Heema22 - 11 years ago
Badala thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
bye kaddu 🤗
When is your husband going to surprise you 😆 ? I mean when is he coming back?
Heema22 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: _saumya_

bye kaddu 🤗

When is your husband going to surprise you 😆 ? I mean when is he coming back?


Not today for sure . . He loves to surprise me . He wants to be home for baby's birth . He promised Leena and he always keeps his promises .
I hope this time he stays home with me . It's very lonely without him . Saumya you know I married him against my wish but I am sooo happy I did . So if you love him why wait ? I hope you don't have those insecurities about men ! .first love is love to keep . You never lose it or forget it .
Heema22 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
Saumya . This was prepared for the group .. I just copied for you . Every thing is not for you . Just generalized stuff . During every group , at least one group member used to ask me about stress management so I prepared this , because group was wasn't moving forward so this was the solution.,we all know this . It only helps to have everything front of you on one paper .

Kanan and Dia . Keep on moving . This boring I am just trying to help Baccha out . That's all. Need not to read it .


1.Stress management strategy
#1: Avoid unnecessary stress
Not all stress can be avoided, and it's not healthy to avoid a situation that needs to be addressed. You may be surprised, however, by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate.

Learn how to say "no" - Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional life, refuse to accept added responsibilities when you're close to reaching them. Taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress.
Avoid people who stress you out - If someone consistently causes stress in your life and you can't turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship entirely.
Take control of your environment - If the evening news makes you anxious, turn the TV off. If traffic's got you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. If going to the market is an unpleasant chore, do your grocery shopping online.
Avoid hot-button topics - If you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off your conversation list. If you repeatedly argue about the same subject with the same people, stop bringing it up or excuse yourself when it's the topic of discussion.
Pare down your to-do list - Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If you've got too much on your plate, distinguish between the "shoulds" and the "musts." Drop tasks that aren't truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.

2. #2: Alter the situation
If you can't avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Figure out what you can do to change things so the problem doesn't present itself in the future. Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.

Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or someone is bothering you, communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you don't voice your feelings, resentment will build and the situation will likely remain the same.
Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you'll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.
Be more assertive. Don't take a backseat in your own life. Deal with problems head on, doing your best to anticipate and prevent them. If you've got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only have five minutes to talk.
Manage your time better. Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When you're stretched too thin and running behind, it's hard to stay calm and focused. But if you plan ahead and make sure you don't overextend yourself, you can alter the amount of stress you're under.
#3: Adapt to the stressor
If you can't change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.

Reframe problems. Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favorite radio station, or enjoy some alone time.
Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.
Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with "good enough."
Focus on the positive. When stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple strategy can help you keep things in perspective.
Adjusting Your Attitude
How you think can have a profound effect on your emotional and physical well-being. Each time you think a negative thought about yourself, your body reacts as if it were in the throes of a tension-filled situation. If you see good things about yourself, you are more likely to feel good; the reverse is also true. Eliminate words such as "always," "never," "should," and "must." These are telltale marks of self-defeating thoughts.
#4: Accept the things you can't change
Some sources of stress are unavoidable. Your parents , . You can't prevent or change stressors such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a national recession. In such cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept things as they are. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it's easier than railing against a situation you can't change.

Don't try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control" particularly the behavior of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems.
Look for the upside. As the saying goes, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from your mistakes.
Share your feelings. Talk to a trusted friend or make an appointment with a therapist. Expressing what you're going through can be very cathartic, even if there's nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation.
Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on.
#5: Make time for fun and relaxation
Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by nurturing yourself. If you regularly make time for fun and relaxation, you'll be in a better place to handle life's stressors when they inevitably come.

Healthy ways to relax and recharge
Go for a walk.
Spend time in nature.
Call a good friend.
Sweat out tension with a good workout.
Write in your journal.
Take a long bath.
Light scented candles.
Savor a warm cup of coffee or tea.
Play with a pet.I will send Penny over.
Work in your garden.
Get a massage.
Curl up with a good book.
Listen to music.
Watch a comedy.
Don't get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to take care of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.

Set aside relaxation time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Don't allow other obligations to encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibilities and recharge your batteries.
Connect with others. Spend time with positive people who enhance your life. A strong support system will buffer you from the negative effects of stress.
Do something you enjoy every day. Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether it be stargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike.
Keep your sense of humor. This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways.
Stress management strategy #6: Adopt a healthy lifestyle
You can increase your resistance to stress by strengthening your physical health.

Exercise regularly. Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress. Make time for at least 30 minutes of exercise, three times per week. Nothing beats aerobic exercise for releasing pent-up stress and tension. Saumya this is true . I am living proof . I exercise every day . No excuse . I am busy . I make time . This has reduced my stress level and I have plenty .
Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress, so be mindful of what you eat. Start your day right with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day.
Reduce caffeine and sugar. The temporary "highs" caffeine and sugar provide often end in with a crash in mood and energy. By reducing the amount of coffee, soft drinks, chocolate, and sugar snacks in your diet, you'll feel more relaxed and you'll sleep better.
Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs may provide an easy escape from stress, but the relief is only temporary. Don't avoid or mask the issue at hand; deal with problems head on and with a clear mind.
Get enough sleep. Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body. Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause you to think irrationally.if you want to stay up at night take a nap in the afternoon . Good luck. I hope this helps .
Edited by Heema22 - 11 years ago
Badala thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: Heema22


Not today for sure . . He loves to surprise me . He wants to be home for baby's birth . He promised Leena and he always keeps his promises .
I hope this time he stays home with me . It's very lonely without him . Saumya you know I married him against my wish but I am sooo happy I did . So if you love him why wait ? I hope you don't have those insecurities about men ! .first love is love to keep . You never lose it or forget it .

I do not have any insecurities at all. Its just that ... *sigh* well, I will finally spit it out... my real problem with marrying as of now... I do not think I am fit to be in a family. I think I will mess my relations just like the existing ones . I cant afford to upset more people and realtionships. I am really weak at heart in such things.
Heema22 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: _saumya_

I do not have any insecurities at all. Its just that ... *sigh* well, I will finally spit it out... my real problem with marrying as of now... I do not think I am fit to be in a family. I think I will mess my relations just like the existing ones . I cant afford to upset more people and realtionships. I am really weak at heart in such things.


Thanks . Just read your PM. I just knew it but heisted to ask because it none of my business !! Take you time . Do not marry unless you are ready . . Just get out of home . Yes, I will write . I need to get in special mood . See you around . What the hell ! You are up this hour ? What are doing ? When do you sleep . ? Loads of xoxo xxx🤗

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