Ramanand Sagar's Ramayan & Shri Krishna CC#3 DONE! - Page 104

Originally posted by: lola610

Shri Ram's first night speech and vow of monogamy 😍 (8:25) Aaaah, nice first topic!😍 Well, Ram's first night speech on monogamy is in no way to insult his father's decision to marry three women, because I've encountered someone people in the past who took it that way, that why did Ramji give an example of monogamy when Raja Dashrath married Kaushalya, Sumitra, and Kaikeyi, and whether that may be seen as indicating that what his father did was wrong. But Ramji did not have that intention at all, because if he had, why would he marry 16,108 women in the Krishna Avatar (though that too had a reason)? By giving an example of monogamy, I feel that Ramji was showing society then, which married more than one woman often, that a man can be just as happy devoted to one wife, and that unless they had a good reason to remarry (like in the case of Dasharath and Vasudev), it was better to stay devoted to one wife because a wife sacrifices so much for her husband without expecting anything in return than pure sweet love, and that if a man cannot sacrifice his desire for other women (again, not to insult characters like Dasharath and Vasudev), how can he call himself a deserving husband for such a woman? The more women men marry, the less attention each woman gets, and often times that becomes the reason for fights and bitterness between co-wives. Each wife wants her husband to think of only her, and really, how can anyone blame her? She wants to be the only woman in her hubby's wife....if you imagine, it must be really hard to think of her husband loving other women. I think the main reason Ramji gave an example of monogamy is that: if a woman is not allowed to marry more than one man, why should a man be allowed to? Ramji was a big supporter of women's rights. He showed no differentiation between men and women, and wanted to proove to the world that men and women are equal, and that if men are seen as Lord Vishnu and should therefore be respected, women were equal to Goddess Lakshmi and therefore should be respected equally. If a woman is not allowed to remarry when already married, neither should a man. If a woman is expected to be devoted to one man and devote her whole life to serving him and looking after his comfort and happiness, so should a man. If a woman is expected to sacrifice everything for her husband, so should a man. I feel this is the main reason behind Ramji's promise to Sitaji. He said that a woman and man together equal one being. The woman is her husband's friend, not servant. She has full right to correct his mistakes just like he does. The words spoken by Guru in NDTV Ramayan is also perfect. He said something like how a woman and man both are the pillars of a household and if even one is lesser than the other, the house will not stand. A husband and wife are both each other's gods, and if a husband sees his wife as a servant, he does not deserve her love. Though a wife considers her husband as God, he is only a human in the end of the day and therefore liable to make mistakes. If the wife does not correct them, or if society does not let a wife correct them, how can she be called a true friend? The jodi of a husband and wife should be that of best friends. They should trust each other fully and no secrets should exist in their relationship. If either a husband or wife feels lesser than the other, the relationship cannot last....or it will be a very fake relationship and therefore an insult to the holy institute of marriage. I think this is the basis of Ramji's words to Sitaji....sorry if I sounded too cheesy.😳
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOFkAphUGaA
Mata Sunayana's advice on being a good wife (starts at 5:10): Though this may seem like it conflicts with Ramji's words to Sitaji, I think the main meaning behind Mata Sunayana's advice is bascially to ensure that her daughters have a problem-free life in their Sasuraal. By telling the girls to respect their in-laws and never talk against their husbands, she did not mean them to be submissive mice, but basically to act in a practical way as the situation requires. I mean, one day a husband may come home in a really bad mood because of problems with his boss or something. As nice of a bond as the husband and wife may share, if the wife starts prattling off about her own problems the minute he steps in the doorway and demands various questions from him, it will probably not improve his mood. So the practical thing to do would be to give him some time to chill, take a breath, and feel at home before beginning her usual questions. That is not to say that a wife always needs to be careful around her husband, because that would conflict with Ramji's words, but to basically act in a practical manner. This is not only for a husband, but for everyone. One would not bug their father, mother, brother, or sister when they are in a bad mood, right? The sensible thing to do would be to wait until the person is in a good mood before asking for what you want (talking from experience😉). I think this is the gist of Mata Sunayana's words, because Raja Janak seemed a pretty sweet and understanding hubby, so she must have known as well that a good marriage is not where one spouse is felt to feel like a servant, but she just wanted to caution her daughters so that when they go to their Sasuraal, their in-laws would think good of them and come to love them as their own. What she said was just every mother's worry....even my own.😳
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWDhl8Rxaf8
Maharaj Ugrasen's advice on being a good husband (4:35) Finally, an ideal hubby scene after Ramji's!😆 Basically, what Maharaj Ugrasen is saying is that when a man marries, he should think of his wife like she is half his body. One does not differentiate between their right and left hands. If the hubby is the right hand, his left is his wife, so if one of those hands is in danger, he should be ready to cut off his right hand to save the left....eew, my example sounds weird, doesn't it?😕 Anyway, what I mean is that when a hubby takes the seven steps around the fire with his wife, he is basically vowing that he will be her protector and defender for not only that life, but for every life afterwards. He should show no differentiation between her and the rest of his family just because she is a new member, and treat her with love and devotion because a wifey often feels homesick and awkward during the beginning of a marriage because she leaves her family and everything she knows to come stay in a place completely new and strange. Poor thing will need cheering up so he should show extra care and love more than he would to anyone else to make her feel more at home.😊 That does not mean he should neglect his family, but they know he loves them and he knows he loves them, so if he shows some extra love to his new wifey, no one will feel very neglected unless the family is really that non-trusting of each other. It is a man's duty to show love towards each member of his family equally and in a different way. To love his wife like he loves his mother or sister would be weird and make them feel more like mother or son than husband or wife😆, so he should learn how to love his wife in a way that makes her feel happy, protected, and safe, while love his mother in a way that makes her feel loved and appreciated. A wife is said to be a man's Ardhangini in scriptures, meaning she is literally his other half, and to treat her like a servant or a lesser being than him is to be interpreted as he thinks his other half is lower, which doesn't make sense. When a man dies, all his relationships die with him, whether he be son, father, brother, cousin, etc, but the bond between a husband and wife is eternal and beyond the process of life and death because of the seven steps they take around the fire. The seven steps symbolize that God himself has tightened their bond so that it never breaks. The bond that God touches and blesses, who can break it? Therefore, a husband should always act in a way that ensures his wife's wellbeing, happiness, and comfort. He should be her support in moments of affliction, her teacher when she is being led astray by others, and most of all, her friend when she needs comfort. As the scriptures say, there is no greater friend for a person than his/her wife/husband.❤️ And if either a husband or wife acts in a way that is against their duty, like having affairs or considering others higher than them, then that means they are breaking the bond God tied and in the process insulting him.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYlyi8tMi9A
Mandodari explains and exemplifies friend and minister aspect of wife's duties (5 minutes in, but watch all of it! It's brilliant!) Another brilliant wife duty discourse.👏 While it is a husband's duty to protect and defent his wife (though not to the point that he becomes creepily possessive of her), it is the wife's duty to protect and defend him as well...but in a different way. While a wife should respect her husband and be devoted to him, she should not be so submissive to the point that she does not correct his faults, because then she is failing her duty as his best friend and wellwisher. Just because man wants to hear words of support from his wife when he does a bad deed does not mean the wife should give him that, because she is only supporting him and not doing him any good. The words of support will give him happiness for a little while, but in the long run he will be ruined by his actions and then he will feel sorrow for a longer time, almost an eternity. While the fault will be his for doing the action, it will also be equally his wife's for supporting him. When either a wife or husband does something, they share the same sorrow and the same comfort. If either of them suffers, the other will suffer too, and vice versa. They share the same blame and the same reward, so both should correct each other for mistakes and support for good deeds. That is the ideal wife and husband Jodi.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2puFPnJavYU
Sita's response to Ram's attempt to send her home from Sumant, pre-Bharat Milaap (right from start)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgZU4q9Xl14
Devi Anusuya's speech for Sita (25 seconds in)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TJHqCF4ZCE
Bharat and Mandavi discuss duties after Bharat Milaap (4 minutes in)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHu4vYJVfks
Sunayana Maa's post-Bharat Milaap advice, esp listen on how she asks them to respect Kaikeyi and lead their husbands on the right path (3:20)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sU-4cVz8l4E
Ram takes to a bed of grass after Sita's exile (4 minutes in)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UV2d0jX1Tt8
Sulochana demonstrate's wife's duty to be encouraging and courageous (right from start)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ahe0mlynYKs
Sita serving Ram (45 seconds in)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUCemYJ-LGE
Vasu serving Devaki (around 2:30)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9dF5PbIIVc
Sita's Pativrata self-defense (6 minutes in)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmq_QHhzXWw
Vasu upholds husband's duty after Akashwani (4:50)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RfaDuuJmAc
Continuation of above, Vasu affirms equality of husband and wife (1:30)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jsh7vimT3U
Praja realizes Ram's respect for Sita (and that they should replicate with their wives) after golden statue decision is announced (7:30)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0t-_p8qYM0A
Continuation of above, a certain family interprets this statue decision as Ram's empowerment of women in general (right from start)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ot7HCcp5lPy