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OS 7 - My Lady in Red
Back to work. I got a break after so long, yet, I have never not wanted an off as much. I am just so happy to be back here with everyone. Correction, with her. Now a days, everything in my life seemed to revolve around her, my happiness, my sorrow, my anger,all my emotions- everything was reserved for her. We did resolve the tiff that we had a few weeks back but things were not like before. I am not even sure if she loves me anymore. Its not like she told me anything earlier but still I had my hopes, now I feel so lost. I think people are able to see it, I am being asked all kinds of questions for which I wish I had some answers too. I know, I chose this field and privacy is something that I cant expect. However, I do wish I was given a little more space, just that little bit where I can love her in peace.. without being answerable to anyone. That, unfortunately, is a luxury I cant afford. Sigh..
Where was she? I saw her emerge from the make up van. She looked like a dream in a red salwar..Should I call her my lady in Red? I have never seen anybody look so gorgeous in red. Ok, now this is the last thing I want, as it is I have no control over my heart when I see her, now she makes it worse by looking more beautiful than ever. My heart is not with me anymore, I hope to keep atleast my senses about so as not to look like a complete idiot. I tried to distract myself with the work..it was a fun scene and I tried to have some fun too. Whenever she was around though I lost my ability to speak. I even avoided looking at her more often, cos I ran the risk of every look turning into long stares and my longing would be very obvious in my eyes.
Then, came the scene of all scenes (for me that is),the scene demanded that she rush into my arms with happiness on seeing me after a long time. Sometimes I wonder if the writers are writing their story based on my life? I wouldnt mind that, atleast then she would've been my girl. Damn, my stupid heart, its not even fun anymore, its not the butterflies that I feel anymore. Its a pain, a searing pain, the kind that we associate with heart-break. Though I cant say my heart is broken, to be more accurate the kind of pain that is a part of this twisted emotion called Love. We dint discuss much before the scene. We have become so used to each other, we just seem to know on an impulse how the other person will react. Does that mean anything, I couldn't help wondering.
Cut to the scene. She saw me,she reacted with so much emotion that I was swayed. She ran into my arms, I hugged her after what felt like eons. I let my emotions flow, I smiled and cried in my heart. Ok, the smile was quite there on my face but my tears stayed in my heart. She was holding onto me with a certain fervour as well. Did she miss me too, I couldn't help wondering. I think she did. Rather I hope she did, I dint want to ask her and find out otherwise, so I dint ask her. Then we shot some more scenes, I couldnt help gazing at her, a perfectly legitimate cover I had, in the name of shooting for the scene. Then I had the biggest surprise of my day, I was just getting ready for the second impulsive hug (not my words, our script reads -impulsive hug ) when she hugged me and hugged me so desperately that I could feel her emotions. That instant I felt her love for me. I hope I conveyed my love to her as well..with my return hug. We were quite unwilling to break apart, they even let the camera roll for a while but then had to call for a cut or I think we wouldn't have stopped. We looked at each other, she was teary eyed and I was emotional and it was quite clear, the love that seemed to connect us. Only, we just let it be, we walked off without speaking much into out respective trailors.
May be another day will bring us together..thats is the hope I hold on to.
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