I was sitting in my room reading a novel, but my thoughts were drifting off I was feeling lonely. Even my favorite novel the hobbit dint seem interesting to me. The calmness which I loved seemed like its going to eat me raw.
I was always a independent person, loved to be alone in my own world. It was always difficult for me accept anyone or make friends if I considered anyone as my friends It just meant that I really did accept them as mine.
This world is soo cruel people will be with you only until you need them. Even I experienced it the people I cared soo much turned out to be all fake. Their behavior left me shattered and the years of friendship, affection and care all turned out to be false. Just the feeling of accepting the people to whom I cared soo much about are really not worth it was piercing my heart. Thinking about my life a lone tear made its way out of my eyes which of course was suppred for a long time now.
Being alone and feeling lonely are two different things right. I loved to be alone and not lonely. Tears continuously came out from my eyes. Depicting the pain my heart was feeling. It always said when heart aches eyes speak. Even my eyes were speaking through its tears but no one was there to read them, wipe them.
I was feeling low today for a known reason I dint know why all of a sudden after these many years I was feeling soo empty, I never thought in my life that I would need anyone to hold my hand and say I am always with you no matter what.. I am there as your strength.. to share your happiness and sorrows.. when I gave that special place to my friends thinking that they would be with me as I was with them.
Its always said friendship is a life long relation.. friends forever!!! But were my friends true.. was their friendship true.. the mere thought of being in a fake relation felt like a sharp knife was stabbed in my heart and left it bleeding.
I was trying to question myself was I not worth being with anybody? Was I that bad as a friend that I could not make a tiniest place in my friends heart? Hurts right.. yeah it really does hurt a lot or I would say more than a lot.
I felt as if it is better to have no friends than countless number of them and all turned out to be fake. are friends necessary in life? One cant live without friends?
I think we can its better to have none when they are not true
Taking a deep breath I drifted off to sleep where only I existed with my loneliness.. which lead to the emptiness.
love
shini
Hindi TV Shows
