SwaRon FF: If you could see me now - Page 3

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Sawyer_Tom thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#21

Originally posted by: Savage


Dun spam this place or I will banish you from here! 🐷 AND EN! 🤗 You really are my BFF! What dog have I murdered anyway, YEAH!?


Why this sudden onslaught of affection Kanks? 😳
thegameison thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#22
Onslaught of Affection because:

#1 I've never had people discussing my work before I posted it. 😆

#2 You talked-back with Rafi for me. Seriously, I never killed no pups. 🤔


thegameison thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#23

Prologue


The evening was a dirty shade of brown with nuances of deep green in it. It strongly reminded Swayum of dried raisins. The sharp gust of wind was allowed into a candlelit room by a creaking open window. The candle struggled to burn. The wind penetrating the curtains rattled. The hinges of the only door into the room clicked and Swayum acutely turned around, suddenly aware of more than just the abhorrent night.

She had auburn hair that glistened even in scarce light. She was wearing his blue sweatshirt and her faded blue jeans from yesterday. She had this subjugating power over him that she found irrelevant and funny in some parts when he told her about it. If she could see him now she might find his predicament convincing.

She must have heard his footsteps in her direction because she'd begun to pace toward him too. His hands protectively grasped her arms when her stick got stuck in the bottom of her jeans and she tripped.

"Thanks for that." She whispered, looking relieved to be enveloped in his arms.

"You need a new pair of jeans." Swayum informed her, resting his forehead gently on hers.

He sensed a reciprocatory shiver regulate through her but knew better than to mention it.

"I tore the bottom, didn't I?" She miserably asked, trying to reach the hem of her sweatshirt with her hand, but his grip around her was quite tight.

"You can let me go now." She assured him.

"I don't see why, Sharon." His words were unintentionally bitter.

"Swayum, you do see a great deal. All I can see is many, many shades of black every day. And they all look the same, exhaust me alike and leave me feeling the same." She objected.

She knew he'd say something in his defence. Therefore before he could, she continued, "I am sure that if you implore yourself to see it, you'll see how you can let me go."

He loosened his grip around her arms and slid his hands down to hers. He quickly filled the spaces between her fingers with his, causing her stick to fall.

"We can work this out and you know that." He urged her.

"That I don't see how." She told him crossly.

"We're in love with each other." He reminded her and as though in an urgency to make her feel it he lifted her hands to his face. He made her slowly examine his features with her hands, several times.

"Swayum," She whispered thoughtfully, thumbing his eyes by herself now.

He'd dropped his hands to the small of her back and relished her touch. She was the love of his life. And she had programmed herself to slip farther away from him by the minute. Hence he savoured the proximity however he was still firm that he would not let himself go astray. Yet another discussion about them would not remain open-ended.

"If only you could see me now you'd know you're overanalysing our problems. You would know none of it makes any difference to me. We do have problems but they're not unsolvable. I need you to know that we'll find a way out of this. Most of all, we'll find a way to be together." He asserted but when he was done he collapsed into her shoulder. Delicately he continued to press his forehead in her shoulder.

"I do see you." Sharon thought to herself and but refrained from verbalizing it, having finally reached the hem of her sweatshirt to grip tightly.





Snowey thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#24
RES

*Edited*
Sorry it took me this long i am usually more prompt then this but something or the other just came up.
Coming to the FF i am glad you choose this particular OS to continue.
The prologue is a majestic piece of work and takes on the Character of Sharon from the OS. She is strong and doesn't believe in sympathy for her asleep eyes. The pain in her was deep and a detached feel emerged more often. The conversation Swayam and Sharon share were subtle underlaying a lot more then said. I just loved the way Swayam was trying to take it forward without making Sharon uncomfortable.
The ending, you got me their - I see you - she thought but could not put it in words just like our D3 diva Sharon who doesn't seem to have her way with words, of course her reasons being all the way different.
Looking forward to the next update.

Edited by Sudha-SK - 12 years ago
thegameison thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#25
Nidhi says, "Alright. Mention this before you post the Prologue that whoever likes the post gets a PM and the rest can take a hike. :P"

Thanks.
Sawyer_Tom thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#26

Originally posted by: Savage

Nidhi says, "Alright. Mention this before you post the Prologue that whoever likes the post gets a PM and the rest can take a hike. :P"


Thanks.


And I stand by it.
marauder thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#27
Reserved. And now you both can take a hike as I will unreserve it in one week :P



Edited

Well, ever since I have read "abandoned combined work
" of yours I was waiting for another similar work. And it was really a pleasant surprise when you both told me that you both are gonna start this FF jointly. 😊. And dare you both this time leave the FF hanging I would definitely see you 😆.

Well warnings aside - I won't say this particular OS was mine favourite or anything but yeah it was definitely the standout one in all OS. And Sharon's character in that one definitley the most captivating and intriguing one. So I am happy you both chose that OS. Coming to the prologue it was just brilliant. I just love how you described a surrounding and how I feel like I could start visualising the character instead of reading about them. And not just that, the conversation was also marvellously penned with enough glimpse about the upcoming chapters that this one is gonna be an awesome read. Perfect prologue I would say. Waiting for the first chapter.
Edited by marauder - 12 years ago
thegameison thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#28

Originally posted by: marauder

Reserved. And now you both can take a hike as I will unreserve it in one week :P


You'll be damned. 🐷
Sawyer_Tom thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#29

Originally posted by: marauder

Reserved. And now you both can take a hike as I will unreserve it in one week :P


Why? Shaadi hai kya teri? 😆
marauder thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#30

Originally posted by: Sawyer_Tom


Why? Shaadi hai kya teri? 😆


Shadi rahegi to bhul jaana ki kabhi bhi unreserve karoonga. Filhaal to aise hi mood nahi hai 😈

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