Swaron OS- The Gift - Page 3

The Bible might state otherwise but Sharon Raiprakash knew that God had created her for His own amusement. It was a belief that grew stronger with every OMG she uttered and she had uttered it a million times in her mind already. From the time she had hit the accelerator to run away from the restaurant and its memory alike, she hadn't allowed herself to slow down little realising that the speed aggravated her unease.

May be she could tell Swayam that they could tell Rey. He need not know that Rey knew from before.

"Hey!"

She didn't bother looking around for the source of the cry. It was her Conscience speaking. She didn't know if other people ever pictured their conscience but she pictured hers as a skiny, yound lady clad in white, whose foremost priority in life was to make her feel miserable. Now that Conscience had spoken there was no way in which she could carry out the aforementioned plan of action.

The loud music in the car which she had put on to distract herself was not serving its purpose well and she was compelled to recall the night of the charity event which marked the beginning of her 'trial' relationship with Swayam. It was something she thought she had understood back then, and the same thing she knew she didn't understand now. They were in a relationship on a trial basis but she didn't know what exactly was supposed to be tested. She remembered that she had had a problem with the intensity of his love. But on the other hand, she herself hadn't been passive in her role as a girlfriend so far. She had shamelessly thrown chits at him during class hours, planned and initiated many secret meetings, recorded few of their phone conversations and had taken offence at the slightest lack of attention. So the tables had turned now and this thought was in no way comforting. She had been scared that his intensity might weaken her in some way or the other and now she was quite capable of doing that herself.

How about telling Swayam that they could let Simi and Rini in on their secret?

Conscience kept quiet this time and she happily continued with this train of thought. Simi and Rini were her girlfriends and her greatest wellwishers of all time. They will be happy and excited to know about them.

But what thereafter? Will they greet her the usual way in college everyday? or will they be waiting with anxious and expectant looks on their faces? Wasn't that how girlfriends behaved when one of them got committed? They had their share of girly talks allright, but Sharon had always been a closed book when it came to matters of the heart, or her deepest passions for that matter. It was different with dancing. Dance was a common passion that they all shared whereas Swayam and everything related to him was something that belonged to her alone. She was possessive of every memory of their time spent together. She thought about her ecstatic dance on the street on the very first night of her relationship, their first secret meeting in college, the first time he had climed through her window to apologise to her, their first dance in the rain that had unleashed the child in her. No, none of these were to be shared. Nor were the occasional fights and misunderstandings they had had. Public showdowns were a thing from the past. The showdowns weren't non-existent now but they were exclusive.

She braked at the signal and was happy to realise that she had gained herself few more minutes to think. Simi and Rini were her closest friends and may be they knew her better than what she gave them credit for. Weren't they the ones who were aware of her punjabi penchant for thick buttered rotis and yet listened to her gushing about exotique pasta? Ok now this was a whole new perspective. A smile crept to her lips as she thought of it now. When it came to Sharon they had their to-be-known and to-be-heards in place. They had always given her the support as well as the space she needed. But could she count on that? Will they not , in their curiosity and excitement, encroach on her personal space?

The traffic was on the move and she started towards college once again. Her thoughts now drifted over to the guys, Nilesh and Vicky. It was wierd how she could never think of one without the other. They were like the brothers she never had and she knew without a doubt in mind that they will be happy for her. They will give Swayam hell for not telling them before but she will not receive that treatment. She chuckled as she recalled Nilesh's reaction when Vicky and Neha had become official. Now this was another way in which bestfriends could react. But in her case Nilesh was Rey and Rey was far more secured a person than... She could not carry on with that train of thought as she saw her side mirror reflect the pained expression on her face. She had just unknowingly compared Swayam and her to Vicky and Neha. HOW COULD SHE?

Now this thought had severe repercussions than the last. Conscience was shrieking. She tried to gulp down the guilt before it started to make her feel horrible. She had no issues with Vicky and Neha. They were a nice and happy couple. Infact she thought that they were as much in love as she and Swayam were. But any comparison on those lines was nothing less than torture. They were right out of a bollywood movie that she wouldn't care to watch, let alone recommend, but they were her friends and she loved them dearly. May be she didn't approve of their mushy dealings and filmy interactions but she did wish them well. Infact, she had enough reasons to thank them. Weren't they the first ones to start the dating game between dazzlers and weaklings. It would have been terrible if she were the first one to break one of her own rules, the one that prohibited dazzlers from dating weaklings. Something told her that few years down the line Simi and Nilesh would be the only loyal followers of that rule.

It was a while later, or rather few more turnings and signals later, that the guilt was replaced by anxiety. Just as she was bordering on being judgemental about Vicky and Neha wouldn't others judge her and Swayam too? Should she let this thought bother her? She was popular and he had come to be popular in college. Will they not have people talking about them? Thinking about them and forming opinions? Popularity came with its own share of problems. Perhaps this was precisely why Rey had opted to keep his relationship with Kriya a secret.

She thought about Rey and his seemingly perfect relationship. Kriya was far less complicated than her and Rey had a better grip on his emotions compared to Swayam and yet they had fallen apart. How could she rule out the possibility that this could happen to her and Swayam as well? Her mind was frantically giving her reasons to keep her relationship a trial one and she was blindly accepting them but this couldn't stop her from shuddering at the thought of a possible break up like Rey had had. Her mind now desparately tried to focus on positives and she found herself thinking about Taani. Her heart did a leap of sorts and she realised that it was too early to compare her love life with Rey's,especially when there was a great deal left to happen to him. She didn't know why she had come to associate Taani with Rey's love life but a woman's intuition is very strong and she knew there was something in it, a thought she wouldn't be sharing with Swayam any time soon. She felt Conscience raise her eyebrows within her and she hit the accelerator again as if to escape from the feeling. This was a bad idea as she found herself facing the college gates moments later. She had utilised all the time she had at her disposal and had come to no conclusion.

She made her way to the rehearsal hall where all of them were supposed to assemble for a meeting. She could hear voices from a distance and pushed the door open to find everybody present in there already. After scanning the room and greeting everybody with a smile she found herself staring into the familiar pair of intense eyes, the ones that had been fixed at the door all this while, waiting for her. He was standing at the distant corner of the hall with his back towards the mirror.

Her eyes reflected everything that she had felt lately, her doubts regarding her friends' reactions and their behaviour henceforth, her anxiety regarding how the world would perceive them, the fear that the dreamlike feeling would fade the moment they acknowledged it in front of everybody, the fact that even the most perfect relationships had choked on the unexpected turning points in life, the guilt for still harbouring strong inhibitions regarding a serious committment despite his innumerable attempts to make her feel secured.

His eyes said that he loved her. Period. It was like having the same conversation they had had three months ago on the night of the charity event. She had voiced all her fears and insecurities whereas he had only offered her the assurance that he loved her. His assurance had encouraged her frail and vulnerable heart beyond bounds and broken the barriers it had built for itself. It did the same now. In that very moment, she chose to lead her mind over waiting for it to decide for her. She crossed the hall to where he was standing, never for once breaking the eye contact, as if it was her only source of confidence and strength. Ignoring all the eyes that followed her and all the voices that called out to her, she wrapped her arms around him in a close embrace. Suddenly it wasn't about anything else but gifting him that one happy moment of pride when he could claim her in front of everybody. This gift was long overdue.

P.S. Few things.. First.. to all the ViHa fans.. no offence meant.. their reference only meant to put across a certain point of view and help her thought flow.. same goes for the reference to taarey/kriyansh.. In case u do get offended remembr its sharon n not me😉