Written by Destiny and Etched in Blood: A FF (Ch 54: Pg 100 NEW)

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Shailaja

@shailusri1983

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#501

Originally posted by: amina1
Why love has to come in one form ,giving respect understanding and affection is one part too one can love his lover with passion zeal but in pologamy a man can love his patner like how your chandra does dil par kisi ka zor nahi but a manwith many wives will surely know how to deal with hiswives and im sure any intelligent man will not show partially to one patner and that to with his other wife/evs

Very true! The other wives except Nandini are unimportant and insignificant for the show Chandra which is really very very disappointing. An emperor and king in a polygamous marriage should know how to treat all wives in an equal, impartial and just manner. He might love one of them with passion, one with affection, one with friendly banter and camaraderie, one with esteem and respect, but he definitely cannot treat the other wives as non-entities just because he happens to love one particular wife.

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Shailaja

@shailusri1983

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#502

Chapter Thirty-Five: On the Banks and Underwater

In Dhananand's Forest Camp,

Dhananand was practicing target practice along with a soldier who was standing in front of him with an apple balanced on head. His thoughts and focus were elsewhere. He was seriously anticipating somebody's death elsewhere. A sinister smile and even more demoniacal expression laced his facial expressions. He was finding it difficult to control himself. It would be something to see the man who had destroyed all their prospects and snatched what was rightfully his, bite the dust.

He was going to accomplish what even his own father couldn't do. He was feeling very happy today if that was the name people gave to this feeling or emotion he was presently experiencing. People said that anybody's death usually brought tears to one's eyes. They spoke the falsehood.

The blood he and his family spilt must have filled up rivers and rivers. But all that had never brought even a single tear drop into his eyes. He must have strewn hundreds and thousands on every battle field. In the death of an even greater number by unrighteous means, he had actively colluded. The numbers who must have perished due to starvation and exploitation, he must have even lost count.

But all that was his right, his right to treat as he chose, his right to use as he pleased, his right to destroy as he saw it fit. He owed an explanation to none. But this weaselly Chanakya thought that he and his family did. This miserable end would teach Chanakya and others like him a proper lesson. They would never dare to question him or his Pitha Maharaj.

Fear was a powerful thing. As long as it was there in the minds of the people over whom you ruled, you would remain unchallenged. The minute that fear was gone, they would question you and your authority, and these questions would translate into actions, revolt and rebellion. That was how this Chandragupt and Chanakya came to power.

His esteemed father Padmanand had neglected them. He allowed the fear in them to evaporate, the questions in them to grow until they became a raging volcano. He allowed the two of them to live when he should have done away with them years ago. The two gradually became two hundred, and the two hundred became two thousand, and the two thousand became twenty thousand, and the twenty thousand in turn multiplied and multiplied until it blew him and his Pitha Maharaj away like an avalanche.

Now, one of the two, with whom this entire story began would be gone forever. With one gone, the other would hardly withstand. They would reclaim all that they had lost. With all these multitudinous and tumultuous thoughts running in the background of his mind, all of Dhananand's arrows were missing his target by huge margins. They were whistling past to the left, the right, or from the top.

The soldier who was standing for target practice started sweating profusely. His knees and limbs started shaking nervously. Dhananand took aim another time. He pulled the string of his bow. It rang with a resounding twang as the arrow swished past, cutting through the air. By this time, even the brave heart of this soldier had failed, and he lay stretched on the ground in faint, out of pure fright. The apple on his head broke into two even without being pierced a single time.

Dhananand furiously shouted to his men, "Lift that chicken-hearted duffer out of my sight! I missed my shot because of him. I would have hit that damned apple this time if only he had stood his ground properly without fainting. If I see him again, it is not the apple which is going to get hit! Get lost!"

After this, he vented all his apparent frustration at an effigy in front of him, which to his murderous eyes appeared like Chanakya, with dart after dart placed in a tray before him. After a while, the face of the effigy looked like a porcupine with all these darts stuck to it. Amatya Rakshas who was watching everything from afar, came and stood there with an ambiguous smile on his lips saying nothing.

Dhananand: Only you were missing from the scene, Amatya! You have nothing to tell?You always have a lot to tell me. I know you are itching to tell me something this time too!

Rakshas: No! I have nothing to tell! I will show rather!

Rakshas took up the single remaining dart in the tray, closed his eyes for a minute before he took aim and hit. The whole big effigy collapsed wherever it was with that single strike.

Dhananand: I hate to accept this! But how do you do it every single time? What so many of my darts didn't do, a single dart of yours accomplished!

Rakshas: FOCUS! That's how I do it! A hundred immaterial strikes where they do not matter are not equal to a single calibrated strike at the exact spot where it matters. Your father had that unique ability. I have tried to teach you too but I never managed to succeed with you the way I did with your Pitha Maharaj.

Dhananand: Ah! Pitha Maharaj and his greatness! I wonder why you never tire of your admiration!

Rakshas: Your father was really special to me! I have always tried to see him in you, but in vain. I see only you! And what's worse, these days I begin to see you in him.

Dhananand: God knows what you saw in Pitha Maharaj, what you thought you saw in him, or what you didn't see in him!

Rakshas: Ekalavya tha thera Pitha! Ithna prabhavshali! (Your father was an Ekalavya! So talented!)

Dhananand: Kadachit! Kadachit woh Ekalavya the aur aap uska Dronacharya! Par jithna main unhe jantha hoon, woh aisa Ekalavya hain joh khud apni Dronacharya ki anghuta mangenge! (Perhaps! Perhaps he was an Ekalavya and you his Dronacharya! But as much as I know him, he is that kind of Ekalavya who will demand the thumb of his own Dronacharya!)

Rakshas (ambivalently): Haan, Kadachit! (Yes, perhaps!)

Down the memory lane once again,

The people whom Rakshas saw this time in his mind's eye were himself and his one time comrade-turned-arch rival Chanakya.

Chanakya was hidden under a heap of grain in an old and deserted granary at the outskirts of Patliputra, while evading Padmanand's men who were after him after he had the audacity to question him and disrespect him, in his own court before his own men. To aggravate matters, he took a terrible vow; a Pratigya to annihilate Padmanand and his entire lineage from the face of earth.

"My Shika will remain open till that day when I have not bathed it with the blood of Padmanand and his entire dynasty. I will weed them out like a farmer weeds out the weeds, or a surgeon amputates the diseased part of the body! This is the Pratigya of Canak Putra Chanakya to himself and his motherland!

Padmanand did not do anything at that time because Chanakya was a Brahmin and a Brahma Hatya was considered a ghastly and dastardly act by the norms and ideas of that period. So once he had left the court, Padmanand had quietly sent his men behind him to annihilate him, and along with him, quietly kill his Pratigya.

Amatya Rakshas was personally supervising the search. He observed long and carefully at the heap of grain before he told the soldiers who were accompanying him, "All of you go and search for him that way. He must have gone that way. I will remain behind here. Inform me if you have any further developments in your search!"

Once the soldiers had gone, he came and stood near the heap of grain and said, "Chanakya, you can come out! It is safe now! Leave Patliputra forever and don't ever show your face here again!"

Chanakya: Katyayan, if you knew I was here, why didn't you tell your soldiers?

Rakshas: The name is Rakshas not Katyayan! The man who stands before you is Rakshas- AMATYA RAKSHAS! I was giving you a single and last chance to save yourself for the sake of old times when we studied together, and for the Guru Dakshina I owe to your father. I will not keep repeating this favor again and again! I regret to tell that the next time, I will not be able to save you. I may even be forced to attack you myself. Rakshas ka prahaar kabhi khali nahin jatha! (Rakshas's attack never goes in vain!)

Chanakya: Thanks but it will be redundant the next time. I will save myself both from your protection and your attack. Main saksham hoon, nahin toh apne aap ko saksham banaunga! Agli baar aapko kasht nahin hoga, Amatya Rakshas! (I am capable, if not I will make myself capable! The next time you need not take any trouble, Amatya Rakshas!)

Rakshas: So you will not mend your ways! You're determined to be obstinate!

Chanakya: It pains me to see from what you have become what! I haven't lost either my way or my path. Tum marg seh batak gaye ho, Katyayan! ( You have lost your path, Katyayan!)

Rakshas (with a tinge of sadness in his voice): As idealistic and unbending as you always were! The world is not so simple as it looks from the windows of your esteemed father Canak's Gurukul. There are no clear cut boxes into which the good and bad, the right and wrong, the truth and falsehood, the dharma and adharma fit. Nothing in this world outside actually fits any of these boxes. Most of what happens remains outside these boxes. I wonder why I am even telling you this when you are determined not to understand.

Chanakya: Katyayan, I don't need to understand anything. It is you who needs to understand.

Rakshas: If you were in Patliputra, why didn't you come to me directly? Why did you have to go to Maharaj? I run the real show here! I would have hired you under me. Your words and advice would have been duly heard and heeded. But then you had to barge into the court unannounced and bring all that insult upon yourself!

Chanakya: Katyayan, that man or his dynasty are not fit for the throne. You are upholding and protecting something that ought to fall apart with the power of your intellect. And what show are you talking about? You run nothing here! You and your wisdom are just a blind to cover something that is most ugly and cancerous. Tum kuch nahin kar rahe ho! Tum sirf ek dhakkan ho gandhagi aur badhu ko dhakne ke liye! (You are doing nothing! You are just a cover that is hiding the dirt and odor!)

Rakshas: Whatever you say, I am the Mahamatya of this state and I am just doing my duty towards my state and my king!

Chanakya: Your loyalties are misplaced Katyayan! You owe nothing to that man or his lineage. You owe your loyalties, wisdom and intellect to the motherland which gave birth to you. So I give you an offer today. I will hire you. I will find a true king who deserves to adorn the throne. I will depose this Padmanand and his lineage with his help. I will bring him to the throne of Magadh, and make him the unchallenged Chakravartin Samrat of the whole of Akhand Bharath. That day I will again come to you to ask if you will be his Mahamatya!

Rakshas: Vain words and foolish hopes, Chanakya! I have come too far already to ever think about going back. You try your best to destroy and I will try my best to preserve and protect.

Chanakya: I can see that you have lost everything you ever had!

Rakshas: What exactly did I have previously that you are riling me for loosing it? It is only after I became the Mahamatya of Magadh that I gained anything worth the name! One has to pay a certain price for everything, even success!

Chanakya: I will tell you the price you have paid for your success; what all you have gained, and what all you have lost! Perhaps you earned a name; AMATYA RAKSHAS, but you sold your soul for that, KATYAYAN! I knew KATYAYAN but I don't know this man standing in front of me! Perhaps you alone can decide for yourself if that is too little or too big a price to pay for success. Yeh jo safaltha ki Badi akash main tum udraheho, there sare pank katjayenge, there sare sapne tootenge, aur tumhe na apni akash na apni dharthi naseeb hoga! Is anisht ki hone seh pehle utjao! (This big sky of success in which you are flying, one day all your wings will be cut, all your dreams will break, and you will not have either your sky or the ground beneath your feet! Wake up before this catastrophe happens!)

On the way to Arwal,

Helena and Bhimsen were urging their horses and men as they rode nonstop at a furious pace, "Faster! Faster! Even the delay of a single second could prove fatal! We have no time to lose!"

On the river bank,

The Chief of the Prime Ministerial Guard, Purushottam, as soon as he glimpsed at the blood-red waters of the spot where Acharya Chanakya had gone to do the Sandhyavandanam, shouted to his men, "Savdhan! Hey Eshwar yeh kya anisht horaha hai! Jaldi Nadhi ke andar jao aur Acharya Chanakya ko dhundho!" (Careful! Oh God what's this catastrophe that is happening! Go fast into the water and search for Acharya Chanakya!)

Even before he had completed these words, a full-fledged attack was launched by enemy soldiers who had been hiding nearby. They were surrounded on all sides and fighting their own battle of life and death on the bank of the river. None of the soldiers in the Prime Minsterial Guard were in any position to go to the aid of Acharya Chanakya. For that matter, nobody had the least idea what was happening or what exactly happened to Acharya Chanakya.

All this while underwater,

Chanakya was fighting his own struggle for life and death all alone. He was surrounded on all sides by enemies who held him tight with an iron and vice-like grip. Five terrible ruffians held each of his hands and legs, while a last held on to his chest. The fifth man menacingly brought out a sharp and cold knife tipped in poison from the folds of his dress. All these men were masked in black cloth. Instantly, he realigned the muscles of his hands, his legs and his chest in such a manner that for a single second, the five men who were holding him back lost their grasp over him.

Coordinating this with a superhuman effort of strength, stamina, and the tenacious will to survive at all costs, he jerked his hands and feet in such a manner that his captors crashed into each other stunned and benumbed. The fifth soldier who had been holding his chest was thrown off balance by this sudden and surprise movement. He rolled off and came very close to Chanakya's feet which he caught by now. Not being near to the chest, but having the feet in his grip all the same, he brought out the knife with which he wildly slashed at Acharya Chanakya's right knee.

He was about to repeat the same action to Chanakya's left knee as well when he was weighed down from his position by a dead weight. To his horror, he found that it was the body of his own comrade. There was a slight and thin cut near his throat. The blue and clear waters started turning red and smelt of blood.

The man stared on in disbelief. Chanakya was not armed. Then how did he do this. Before he could think any further, two more of his companions started drowning in the waters, blood oozing from their bodies. He withdrew all his ideas of attacking Chanakya when his own life was under threat, and shouted to his remaining comrade who was still alive, "Mitra yahan seh niklo! Kuch toh galat horaha hai! Baad main dekhlenge!" (Friend, get out of here! Something is going wrong! We'll see later!)

But the man at the other end, "Aise kaise jaoon mitra apni Shatru ko chodkar? Kumar Dhananand aur Amatya Rakshas ko kya kahenge?" (How can we go like this leaving our enemy? What will we tell Kumar Dhananand and Amatya Rakshas?)The man this side, was not at all convinced by his comrade's arguments, because he personally saw defeat staring at him under water. "Jeevit rahenge toh kuch bhi karenge, aur kuch bhi bathadenge Kunwar Dhananand aur Amatya Rakshas ko! Chalo yahan seh!" (Only if we remain alive, we can do anything, we'll tell whatever suits us to Kunwar Dhananand and Amatya Rakshas! Let's get out of here!)

The man at the other end by now seemed convinced by this soldier's arguments! He said, "Haan, Theek kehthe ho tum! Jeevit rahoonga toh kuch batha pavunga!" (Yes, you're right! Only if I remain alive will I be able to tell something!) The first soldier was flabbergasted when he heard these words, "Ardhath?..." (What do you mean?)From the other end, a knife suddenly pierced into his chest as his own comrade said to him, "Ardhath, Teri mrithyu ki ghadi aagayi aur tum apni mrithyu ke samne khade ho!" (I mean, that your moment of death has come and you are standing in front of it!)

After this, he slightly touched Acharya Chanakya's feet in a gesture of obeisance before he tore a small piece of cloth from his tunic and tied it at the spot where his comrade had slashed at Acharya Chanakya's right knee.

This entire scuffle which took so long to describe was what happened in the time interval of a few minutes. Once this was over, both Satyajit and Chanakya came above just to the surface level to take a fresh and deep breath of air outside the water without emerging completely from it

Satyajit: Why did you take such a big and unnecessary risk, Acharya?

Chanakya (a bit surprised): You are asking this question? I took it because this was the only way of making you come. The only way you were going to know I was here is by letting our enemies know I was here. And that was precisely what I did. I gave them a bait and they took it. Seeing that this game is terribly risky and dangerous, I couldn't have offered anybody else's life as a bait. I offered my own life since that was the only one left, and the ruse has paid as you can very well see for yourself.

Satyajit (a bit concerned by now): Acharya, was one intelligence report worth all this risk?

Chanakya: It is, my boy! I hadn't heard from you for weeks for whatever reason. I was receiving no information, no intelligence reports, nothing from your side. At a crucial juncture like this when we are at the brink of war, no news about the enemy is bad news. One proper intelligence before a full-fledged war saves a thousand lives during it and almost as surely enhances your prospects of victory. And this is not a war we could afford to lose! We need to win at all costs!

Satyajit: Acharya, that knife was tipped in poison! We should instantly get it treated!

Chanakya: Don't bother about that my boy! I have grown immune to such poisons long back. This wound is a mere nothing!

Satyajit: Acharya, even then it was a needless risk! What if I wasn't able to make it in time? Your life would have been in danger! Your life is of paramount importance!

Chanakya smiled a soft and sly smile as he said, "How do you know I am undefended or incapable of defending myself if you had not come, young man?"

He showed the ultra thin and sharp silver threads which were hidden under his actual Yagnopavita (The Sacred Thread worn around the shoulders by Brahmins). Similarly, he also showed the sharp and claw-like Bhaag ke Nak (Tiger claws) which he was wearing on his hands.

Satyajit: Even then, these precautions would be no match for a full-fledged attack! You should at least have come with a few army contingents along with you.

Chanakya: Yes, a few army contingents; and perhaps the whole of Patliputra in tow, so that I could immediately broadcast the confidential details of this intelligence report to everyone immediately? This is an intelligence endeavor; and the fewer people involved, the better for maintaining secrecy!

Just a few moments ago, Chanakya remembered how one of his assailants who was standing to his left came very close to his ears and said, "Acharya main yahin hoon! Kuch nahin hoga! (Acharya I am here! Nothing will happen!) I will loosen my grip on you. Just elude from the others's grip and keep yourself out of the way, I will take care of the rest!"

Chanakya smiled a knowing smile as soon as he heard these words. This was what he had been expecting when he pulled up that elaborate charade about visiting his ancestral village and doing it in such a manner that his travel itinerary was in the public domain.

The vision outside on the banks was pretty hazy and blurred in the fading light. It was hard to make out any definite shapes. Only the clang of the swords rang ferociously through the air. The fighting outside was very vigorous and violent. The men in the Prime Ministerial Guard were fighting tooth and nail.

Purushottam: Rally round me! We are all dispersed! Get into the Mandala Vyuh! (A sort of semi-circular but highly defensive military formation and battle array)

They continued fighting relentlessly. It was becoming very difficult to penetrate past this battle array. Even the twenty odd men fought like a hundred that day.

For a moment, even the unusually cold, clinical and brutal Bhadrasal felt like saluting these brave and indomitable men fighting to the last drop of their blood on the battle field. He knew he would have to hack and mow them down in order to succeed. But for one odd moment, he thought he would give anything to be fighting alongside such men instead of against them. But war was like that! You were forced to shed the very blood of the men whom you would otherwise have respected or saluted.

Had not Chanakya held him back, Satyajit would have gone above and barged into the battlefield like a charging bull, unmindful and heedless of everything. Chanakya however resolutely held back the young man with him.

Satyajit: Nahin, Acharya! Mujhe chodiye! Main un sab ko sabak sikhaunga! Main aise kaayar ki tarah pani ke andar chup kar nahin bait saktha! (No, Acharya! Just let me go! I will teach them a lesson! I cannot remain hidden under water like a coward any longer!)

Chanakya: I am along with you in the water. So I have to be a coward as well by your admirable logic!

Satyajit, instantly and suitably chastened, "I didn't mean that, Acharya! I just wanted to go out and teach that Bhadrasal a lesson!"

Chanakya: Just wait a moment! You will get your answer!

Sure enough! The Chief Intelligence Officer of Magadh, Bhimsen and Maharani Helena had arrived and jumped into the fray along with their men.

Satyajit: Thank heavens! Bhimsen and Patrani Helena are here with reinforcements. But how did they know? I sent my message to you!

Chanakya: They are here because I sent them your message for you. Your message has... I again suspect...been intercepted or diverted as all your other messages were! Now let us get out of here! Bhimsen and Patrani Helena are more than adequate to take care of the situation here. Both of us need to get out of here now. WE NEED TO TALK!

Satyajit hung down his head while nodding to his mentor's words in perfect acquiescence. After this, a pregnant pause of a long minute ensued between the mentor and his student. It was the mentor who first broke this silence.

Chanakya: How long can you remain in water without coming up for taking breath? I can manage three minutes if I take a deep breath now. And you?

Satyajit: I can manage three too!

Chanakya, pointing towards one particular spot on the opposite bank which was shaded and sheltered with a heavy cover of foliage and vegetation and huge boulder rocks which would prove as an ideal camouflage cover for both of them to emerge out of water undetected and unidentified by their enemies in the crouching darkness of the night, said, "We need to reach there!"

A couple of minutes later,

Satyajit and Chanakya crept out from the spot and quickly sneaked for cover unobserved by anyone. Bhadrasal was infuriated that only thing he ever hated and feared in his life, FAILURE, was staring straight into his eyes! How did the reinforcements from the Magadhan side suddenly come? He hadn't been expecting them. Similarly, the signal agreed upon after the success of Chanakya's assasination between him and his men never came. That meant that all that blood he saw was not Chanakya's but his own men's.

Where the hell was this elusive Chanakya then if he wasn't dead? He hadn't emerged from the water at this end of the bank. So this only meant that he had somehow eluded the net and made it to the opposite bank of the river. Chanakya was somewhere out there beyond the reach of him and his men. He barked his orders to his men, "Yahan turanth sab samaapth karlo aur Nadi ke us theer Chalo!" (Finish this off quickly and come to the other bank of the river!)

Bhadrasal rode along with his horse, ahead of his men, his sword swinging wildly and ruthlessly cutting anybody who came in his path. He waded at that point in the river where it was the shallowest on his horse, holding it in a very firm grip and occasionally kicking it wildly on its legs with his heels to make the beast proceed forward much against its wish or will.

Bhimsen shouted, "Follow Bhadrasal and his men now. Quick! As soon as you come across any of Bhadrasal's men, hunt them and hack them down! Our prisons are already full. We can't keep more prisoners. But Bhadrasal, I want alive! There is a lot I need to learn from him! (He turned towards his messenger and instructed) Send message to our nearest Mauryan Military Outpost that we need more reinforcements for search and comb operations in these forests!

The messenger left post-haste to execute Bhimsen's orders and seek reinforcements from the Military Outpost.

After this, Bhimsen turned towards Helena and said, "Patrani Helena, it is my humble request that you will allow me to take full charge from now on! It is getting very dark and we will be venturing into forest areas. Bhadrasal and his men are ogres. It will be a needless risk! Purushottam and his men and one half of the contingent will remain behind with you for your own security while the rest will follow me! Please retire to Acharya Chanakya's ancestral house in the village where I have organized everything for your stay. It will be safer! You can co-ordinate things from there. I give you my word of assurance that nothing has happened nor will ever happen to Acharya Chanakya! I pledge my life on it!"

Helena could have nothing to say in reply to this. That appeared to be the best possible course of action for all concerned. She retired to the village of Arwal along with Purushottam and his men and a part of her contingent, while the rest followed behind Bhimsen in hot pursuit of Bhadrasal and his men.

Edited by shailusri1983 - 8 years ago

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sashashyam

@sashashyam

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#503

Shailaja my dear,

I am flattered and pleased by @ bold, but more even than me, it is the real Chanakya who would be thanking you from on high!😉

Shyamala Aunty

Originally posted by: shailusri1983
Thank you for reading.

Chaaya Arjun marriage is a non-starter even now because Chaaya is already secretly married to Satyajit. It comes in one of the previous chapters. So the alliance is not happening as such even without reference to this unjust condition of Arjun.

My first plan was to show CK doing an unexpected goofup but after reading Aunty's response, I have rewritten the next chapter a slight bit accordingly.

Helena is neither too positive nor negative. But she is a true stateswoman, politician and helpmate to CGM. And she will always continue being that. He will also value, respect and give importance to her though he might not be able to love her the way he does Nandini.

Originally posted by: jayaks02
Shailaja - Thanks for the PM.

I read the latest chapter and it is written very well.

I liked that Kuthi Papa falling on Floor and his interactions with Nandini - I loved how she beat the floor to give a reassurance to the Kuthi Papa. Arjun's wish of not deciding to give a child to his would be wife is a very contemporary thought. In BC period, polygamy was quite a common thing even among citizens ? And it is too much of a condition for any woman to accept especially in arranged marriage. I have a feeling this marriage may not materialize.

CK being caught off-guard. Compared to Serial one, this one is far better. When I was going through the story, I thought CK is setting up something for Nand & party . I am hoping an anti climax comes and CK will emerge the move maker.

Helena is given a positive trait in your story. This is very good.

There seems some action in previous chapter as well - Will catch up soon.

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Princess of Videha

@JanakNandini

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#504

Shailu as Aunty said I totally agree

NOT only chanakya but also Helena will thank you. ..wow,This is how Patrani should rise to occasion,not just asking for shishu...

One more thanks, you did not make Nandini as warrior princess...

Very nice update shailu...

I am getting what i wanted out of that idiotic serial... Love makes me sick and nauseous. .time for action ...

Very nice... keep writing

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sashashyam

@sashashyam

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#505

👏👏👏

Simply splendid, my dear Shailaja! I had tremendous fun reading it, and I will do so a couple of times more before I post my detailed comments tonight or tomorrow.

For now, a huge pat on your back and a big congratulatory hug for having pulled this particular rabbit - a large jack rabbit if ever there was one!😉 - out of Acharya Chanakya's angavastram, And that too with such total plausibility! Marvellous. Mera to hriday prafullit ho gaya!

Shyamala Aunty

Chapter Thirty-Five: On the Banks and Underwater

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eshalli

@eshalli

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 8 years ago

#506

Awesome update dear
Thxc 4r pm

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Shailaja

@shailusri1983

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#507

I am glad I rewrote two pages of the original chapter in a completely different direction after reading your response to the previous chapter. I too am absolutely happy about it. Thank you!

Originally posted by: sashashyam
Shailaja my dear,

I am flattered and pleased by @ bold, but more even than me, it is the real Chanakya who would be thanking you from on high!😉

Shyamala Aunty

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Shailaja

@shailusri1983

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#508

Originally posted by: Avantika1115
Shailu as Aunty said I totally agree
NOT only chanakya but also Helena will thank you. ..wow,This is how Patrani should rise to occasion,not just asking for shishu...
One more thanks, you did not make Nandini as warrior princess...

Very nice update shailu...
I am getting what i wanted out of that idiotic serial... Love makes me sick and nauseous. .time for action ...
Very nice... keep writing

Nandini is well-versed in fighting, statecraft, politics, administration just the way princesses those days were but not too extraordinary or exceptional. She is an endearing, lovable, highly possessive child woman and book worm according to my characterization.

The warrior princess and woman of steel characterization along with a few flaws like insecurity and possessiveness about her husband are Helena's in my FF. Both Nandini and Helena are possessive and insecure about CGM but in very different ways. Helena's insecurity and possessiveness is more mature and adult-like while Nandini's possessiveness and insecurities almost border on the childish whims and tantrums children throw with those who are elder to them, and whose attention and care they seek and want.

This FF is about a love story in a particular period. So the lovers are not the only people of this period. There are a number of others who are very crucial to this story like Chanakya, Amatya Rakshas, Padmanand, Dhananand, etc. This was a track involving all of these colorful people. However, I didn't bring it on initially because I was afraid many readers were going to get scared and run away without reading if I actually began the story with that.

So there was a love story, a lot of time was devoted to developing the characters of the protagonists, and very less of the villain gang, and even when they were shown they were only talking and doing nothing much actually. But now, they will make their presence very strongly felt! The protagonists will not be the only people calling the shots.

Edited by shailusri1983 - 8 years ago

Quote

Shailaja

@shailusri1983

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#509

Originally posted by: sashashyam

👏👏👏


Simply splendid, my dear Shailaja! I had tremendous fun reading it, and I will do so a couple of times more before I post my detailed comments tonight or tomorrow.

For now, a huge pat on your back and a big congratulatory hug for having pulled this particular rabbit - a large jack rabbit if ever there was one!😉 - out of Acharya Chanakya's angavastram, And that too with such total plausibility! Marvellous. Mera to hriday prafullit ho gaya!

Shyamala Aunty

Half the credit for this chapter goes to you dear Aunty. My perspective, vision and direction for this chapter were originally different. Your comments for the previous chapter made me question my approach and rethink and rewrite the whole thing. But it has really made a vast difference in terms of effectiveness and punch. So thank you once again. I look forward to reading your detailed views and comments on the present chapter.
Edited by shailusri1983 - 8 years ago