Passion is not a feeling. Love, hate, lust, jealousy...these are feelings. Passion has no colour of its own but is instead coloured by the emotion that one paints it in.
Passion, in fact, is a state of being. There is nothing ordinary' or normal' about it. It is not tame. It is not safe. It is certainly not proper. It blurs the line between right and wrong and disregards the sensible edicts of a sane society. One can simply call it a form of madness.
The hero of our tale, Chandragupta, has been moulded by the most cunning mind of that era into a perfect weapon. Physically, he has been tempered under duress until he is as strong as steel. Mentally, he has been sharpened repeatedly, until his steel gained a razor-sharp edge. Emotionally, he has been made immune so that his enemy only feels the icy vindication of a merciless blade. He is the perfect sword and like any such weapon, he must have a master. In his case, it is his teacher Chanakya.
Within this ice is a childhood history of disappointment, abuse, anger, rejection and poverty. As Shyamala Aunty always says, he is lambent fire sheathed in ice. But a lambent flame is fated to flicker and die, especially if it resides in a frosty abode. It is a stunted living, fashioned for a higher purpose of Akhand Bharat but a stunted one just the same.
Rajkumari Nandini, the heroine of our tale, is diametrically opposite to her hero. Her childhood was a happy, pampered and safe cocoon, regardless of what sins her father might carry. She can feel as freely as she wants, think as freely as she desires. She is like flowing water, tumbling merrily as a waterfall or meandering carefully around obstacles, free and so very much alive. But alas, her course has no purpose, no sense of direction!
Yet her history has something in common with her hero. She is as much moulded by her father as he is by his teacher. In her case it is an unconscious moulding performed by an unclean heart with the purest hands he can muster. Unlike most women of her time, she is trained as a warrior and given the right to look upon herself as an equal to any man. Yet her education is lacking for she has not learned the harsher truths of her home and kingdom.
To Chandra, there is evil all around him that he must vanquish. To Nandini, there is good all around her that she must protect. Twin fallacies that have become firm beliefs.
They walk on their separate paths until one day an unexpected twist of fate lands them face to face. I speak not of their meetings under pretence. I speak of the first time they meet unmasked. Despite whatever circumstances that lead to that point, Chandra blames her for him getting caught. Nandini is just as angry having found that he is a spy! Then Chandra defeats her undefeatable brother and gives insult to her station by rejecting her in full view of a court.
A passionate dislike of each other is born that lays the foundation for their future interactions. The next time they meet, this dislike has deepened a shade more. It is evident in Nandini's outrage as she charges towards him and strips his fake beard off, all the while screeching at him. It is evident in the cold sneer that he carries as he silences her. Then on they struggle against each other neither willing to concede defeat until both are upended from the horse for all their effort!
The mutual glaring is nothing short of an unspoken battle. If there are any Devanagri translations for "D*** you" and "F*** you", they must be thinking just that!
But this is angry dislike which has a weak reason for existing, so it will fizzle out after some time. Alas, our hero seems to have been taught the value of silence a little too intensively and our heroine has not learned much about the art of not inviting trouble.
Humour aside, the actions that follow have inevitably transformed any weak dislike into active hate.
The protege has momentarily forgotten all he has learned...the attack on him is unwarranted and unjust he must feel...the stree par prahaar varjit dictum has been kicked out of the window for an angry grabbing of the face...It is illogical, it is not right but not fully wrong either, it is all fire and no ice. It is, for that matter, our hero's first flaring of passion - raw, unrestrained, and completely foreign to a man thus conditioned in discipline.
But if you thought it was one-sided, you are wrong. For Nandini is not done yet! She uses her hands and when that helps not, she must use her teeth and draw blood. Yikes! A wildcat is born, uncivilized, untamed and clearly foreign to a princess who normally sticks to happy thoughts and harmless mischief. This is her first taste of passion and it reeks of a man's blood.
Eventually, they part. She watches him ride off with an expression of thwarted anger, helpless to stop this behroopiya who has shaken up her little merry bubble. He must soothe the sting of her bite for this wildcat has proven that she is not to be ignored. His composure is back but the derision of a final smirk hints that he will remember this for some time to come.
Thus the seeds of a passion are born painted in a hue of hate. What fruit they bear, yet remains to be seen.
Anupamaa
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
