'Happy Anniversary Kajol' !!- Ajay Devgan

"Happy Anniversary Kajol" !!- Ajay Devgan

NINE…Going on TEN
25 Feb, 2008 01:19 am ISTlUrvashi Ashar/INDIATIMES MOVIES

He sat casually on the off-white couch. It went well with his white shirt. Stylish dark glasses hid his intense eyes, and the picture of him with his daughter in the background bared his parental instincts. A green plant added to the dcor, as did the feel good posters of U, Me Aur Hum . But something was missing. His wife! And just as I realized, she walked in. Dressed in grey pants and a smart woolen top, she looked graceful, her brown eyes covered by dark glasses just like hubby dearest'. She sat herself down next to him. Now, it was all picture perfect.

It was in the year 1999, on the 24th day of February that actors Ajay Devgan and Kajol decided to go the whole nine yards. And today celebrate nine years of their togetherness. How and when did they realise that they were meant for each other? "When you like a person, you initially don't tend to bank on the relationship entirely, because it could be just attraction," says Ajay, "But when you hold up for a long time, and you realise that this is the person you miss, and that this is the person who makes your day complete, you know it's love. When you don't question too much, become more accepting, get habituated to her, it's reason enough for you to want to go on and make her yours for life."

But most men do experience commitment phobia. Did Ajay go through it as well? "Never!" he states confidently. "It was but natural and gradual for us. Also, when you're about to take the 'big step', you need to get out of yourself, keep the love aside and think of it all practically. You ask yourself 'Am I getting carried away?', 'Is this what I really want?'... and when the answer is yes, you simply go ahead and most often, it'll work for life."

Kajol has a different story to tell. "Before I met 'Jay' (referring to Ajay obviously!), I was convinced that my parents would've to hold a gun to my head and take me to the altar. I never thought I'd have the guts to adjust into another home, lose my independence and identity, change my surname... But everything happened so fast. In October '98 we decided we'll get married, and on February 24 the next year we were husband and wife. It all happened so fast; and today all those things of changing your surname and losing your independence look like such little issues..."

Nine years is a long time. While idealists say they love their better halves more with each passing day, realists believe that marriage can sometimes be just a 'pact' and years later you've got to learn to 'bear' the other person. "That's silly," says Kajol, frowning a little. "When you make someone a part of your life, you do it out of choice. Just like you have your parents, or your sister, you now have a husband. We never get bored of our parents! And there is no 'other person' in a relationship. It's us. There's no you or me either. It's just a plain Hum. Your spouse becomes so much a part of your life that you grow together. You learn to give each other space and evolve in your own right as well. Marriage is no 'pact'. Yes, it's lovely that I am legally married. But a legal stamp on a relationship doesn't make a relationship. What makes a relationship is the two people involved in it."

And what happens when both people vowed in matrimony have bad tempers, just like Ajay and Kajol? Does it make things worse? "On the contrary, it makes things easier," avers Ajay, "You see, we fear each other's tempers, and prefer not to do something that may upset the other person. Honestly, Kajol and I rarely fight, and though we have a temper, we don't have egos. Whoever is in the wrong will come and apologise after a few minutes, or an hour, or even a day."
And what happens when a baby is born? "All hell breaks lose," says Kajol instantly. "It's an Oh-my-Gawd situation. It's sleep deprivation time; hormones are all over the place; the whole house is upside down; it's one huge circus. But the world changes for the better," she adds almost making up. "A baby changes everything," intrudes Ajay, "You suddenly find a new dimension. You now have two people to love - your wife and your child's mother. It's exciting. I'm very attached to Nysa. And I love watching Kajol take care of her. It makes for a very pretty picture."

"You know just like Ajay was born to act and direct, I was born to be a mother," informs Kajol. "I wanted to adopt a child since I was twelve years old. I used to tell dad, you have two daughters, why don't you adopt a son and I'll take care of him. My dad was happy with the idea, but mom wasn't. So, I thought when I'm 18 years old and legally entitled to adopt a baby, I would. But then it never happened. I got busy with films. For me, I knew my baby would be my world. There's no one else who can bring up a child better than me, that's my belief. I was adamant that I'd bring my baby up the way I want to, and no one else would have a say in it. I love being a mom. It's my identity!"

Does the 'star status' upset the normal upbringing of their daughter Nysa? "We are normal parents," says Kajol. "I try hard that the celeb status doesn't affect her. We set the boundaries." Ajay on the other hand is an overtly conscious dad. "Nysa today knows who I am and she is aware of who Kajol is. We try to keep her away from a lot of things, especially the film industry, but there's a limit to the things we can keep her away from," explains Ajay. "Also, Kajol and I aren't very social. But I don't want Nysa to be like me in that regard, I'd like it if she goes out, plays and makes friends." Any of their movies that Nysa has been an audience to? "We've tried to show her Pyar Toh Hona Hi Tha . But it's pretty useless," says Kajol laughing, "I frown on screen and she begins to bawl. She can't ever see her mom cry. So I haven't dared to show her anything else," shares Kajol.

Nine years of marriage...how would the Devgans describe their journey? While Ajay says it has made him 'content', Kajol insists 'This is as good as it gets!" Aur picture abhi baaki hai mere dost!
http://movies.indiatimes.com/News__Gossip/News/NINEGoing_on_ TEN/articleshow/msid-2807701,curpg-1.cms