Bullies at work. - Page 2

Originally posted by: trouble_006

I don't know if this will help or not but this is how I dealt with one of mine:

I was a bit young for the position I held in my previous team (as in all of my peers were older and more experienced than me). But we were all good with each other except for this one woman who was continously passive aggressive with me both on professional and personal front. I ignored the personal taunts coz TBH I didn't really care but when it came to professional ones I took it to my manager in a one-on-one.

He told me that he could handle it but wanted me to do it coz I need to learn how to deal with such people and if it didn't help he would step in.

He asked me to set up a formal meeting with her, let her know that I don't appreciate such comments/behaviour in a professional environment and would like her to be respectful or otherwise keep distance.

He explained how such people thrive on the other person not confronting them and half of their courage goes down the drain as soon as you confront them. I did the same.

She did try to turn it around saying maybe I was thin-skinned. I told her that since I have good professional relationships with the rest of team the issue was likely her behaviour. And if it continued, it would be difficult for me to work with her which I would then have to inform the management.

It solved the issue. We were never friends of course but polite and respectful which worked for me.

I kept my manager in the loop about what had happened just so nothing backfires.

Thank you for sharing your experience. Yes I agree, they keep their shitty behaviour on unless you confront them.

I need to be more firm. I don't want to appear weak. I don't want that person to think that I'm letting it affect me. At the same time, I want to stand up for myself as well.

Originally posted by: BearNaNa

I'm so sorry to hear this P, just ignore them. When I was doing my internship there was this senior officer who used to pass misogynistic comments. We ignored his nonsense.

Just don't give much importance to what they say. 👎🏼

Oh god the misogynist types are the worst. I'm sorry you had to go through that too.

I tried to ignore, but would feel suffocated inside just bottling it all up.

Fighting back gives me a little peace. 😭

1. Change the job if it's not satisfactory.

2. Report about the person to HR or superior. But this point really depends on the organisation you are working in. Some organisations do not really care about employees much and just care about 💸💸 especially in India. Only MNC's are working towards employee growth...both professionally and personally.

Take it up with your TL or HR. This is really effective if it's on professional front(especially in an MNC) as far as I have seen with stuff like blatant discrimination with regards to work, favouritism and opportunities being passed up. If it's happening on personal front then it's a little more tricky.

My friend went through this at her workplace. She had to actively involve whenever snide comments/suggestions were passed at her, told them off and had to stand her ground. The truth is bullies whether online or IRL won't back off until you show them you'll have none of their bs. She, however, eventually spoke to the HR about the same and kept minimal interaction with her colleagues only limited to office. Either way, if you report in any case, avoid conversations with them outside office premises.

Also, if you have been with the company for more than a year, look for another job asap.

1. What if the bully is your supervisor and passive aggressive person sometime kind and otherwise rude depends on his mood, like someone who release his pressure through insulting subordinate

Originally posted by: Gul_9

How do you deal with assholes at work who leave no opportunity of putting you down or passing a nasty comment.

Its mentally exhausting dealing with such ch*#+@$

BIG BIG HUGS 🤗 to you first of all. You are not alone.

Something like 1 in 3 people have experienced bullying at work (myself included). The other third is probably split between the bullies themselves and entry level/cleaners who have minimal power of position.

[I was always always always very well behaved and very quiet and shy at school and early work life, and for some reason people see that as an easy target. Turns out they were not wrong.]

You wait for someone to step in, but nobody does...

But then one day; you realise that it is your job to protect yourself and you can never look back...

So what I'm saying is:

1. You have to FIGHT. For your life. 😲

2. That's the only way. 😲

3. You just cannot let somebody disrespect you. 😲

4. You simply must stand up for yourself 😲

And by fight, that could mean a number of things: going to HR, calling the police, telling your friends and family, informing your boss, or even crushing the guys balls in your bare hands.

Either way.

The time has come to empower yourself, so own it.

(I know this is a very serious concern, so apologies if my response seems unhelpful or mocking in tone, but I am not joking about what I said, please excise the GIFs, ☺️ we are on a Bollywood Forum after-all)

all the best x x

Take care of your mental health as these things do affect day to day life. Be strong! you got this ❤️

Originally posted by: Rekha_ji

When I scrolled by and saw this topic title, my heart sank 😭

BIG BIG HUGS 🤗 to you first of all. You are not alone.

Something like 1 in 3 people have experienced bullying at work (myself included). The other third is probably split between the bullies themselves and entry level/cleaners who have minimal power of position.

[I was always always always very well behaved and very quiet and shy at school and early work life, and for some reason people see that as an easy target. Turns out they were not wrong.]

You wait for someone to step in, but nobody does...

But then one day; you realise that it is your job to protect yourself and you can never look back...

So what I'm saying is:

1. You have to FIGHT. For your life. 😲

2. That's the only way. 😲

3. You just cannot let somebody disrespect you. 😲

4. You simply must stand up for yourself 😲

And by fight, that could mean a number of things: going to HR, calling the police, telling your friends and family, informing your boss, or even crushing the guys balls in your bare hands.

Either way.

The time has come to empower yourself, so own it.

(I know this is a very serious concern, so apologies if my response seems unhelpful or mocking in tone, but I am not joking about what I said, please excise the GIFs, ☺️ we are on a Bollywood Forum after-all)

all the best x x

Thank you for this lovely post Rekha ji. ❤️

The way you have described yourself...shy, well behaved.. exactly how I have been since childhood.

I guess it's time to be brave and invoke the mardani within me now.

Originally posted by: Nishita123

Take care of your mental health as these things do affect day to day life. Be strong! you got this ❤️

Thank you Nishita ❤️

And thanks everyone else too for all your inputs. ❤️

Originally posted by: SanchiIndu

1. What if the bully is your supervisor and passive aggressive person sometime kind and otherwise rude depends on his mood, like someone who release his pressure through insulting subordinate

Your supervisor will also have someone over him in the hierarchy. Approach him along with the HR.

'Releasing pressure through insulting subordinate' is a clear abuse of power. As simple as that.

In big corporates if you deal with all this professionally (as in there's a mail chain/record of your complaints and HR/Sr Management is in the loop), the guy will atleast get a formal warning or a project transfer. Most of the times it helps.

Formal complaints are very important in such cases.