Oh Lord, I have so many.
Story # 1
Once upon a time, I ate this spicy kebab at home and while I was chewing, I could have sworn that I could feel a slight tenderness around my gums. Feeling a tad self conscious, I went and stood before a mirror and raised my lips to see what the tenderness was all about. Suddenly to my horror I notice a red patch of dried blood on my UPPER gum, like far far up. Being the extremely paranoid person that I am, I of course went on Dr Google and found out from wikipedia that I have oral/gum cancer. Convinced that I was going to die from this fatal illness, I broke the news to my family. My cousins, friends and mother were urging me to see a doctor but I dramatically told them that we should not avoid the obvious. Wikipedia says its Cancer, and wikipedia is NEVER wrong.
After being forced to see the Doctor, I went ahead and booked an appointment. I walked in confidently and sat down. I told the doctor that I have a red blood patch on my gum and she worriedly inspected it. The doctor was also concerned about this 'random blood' and hence took out a paddle pop stick and tried to fiddle around with it. She ensured me that if it hurt, I must tell her immediately. I nodded and patiently waited as she fiddled around my gum, poking my Cancer and scraping it. She then looked back and triumphantly displayed the 'Cancer' on her paddlepop stick. 'It looks like a skin from a red chilli' she announced. In conclusion, my fatal illness turned out to be red chilli stuck on my gums and I died from humiliation! The doctor laughed at me as well and I wanted to sob onto the ground in shame. š„² I basically went to see a doctor for her to remove a bit of chilli stuck to my gums. Below, youāll find the receipt proof of my humiliation.
Story # 2
Iāve already told this story. Mind you, majority of my issues wouldnāt exist if I actually wore my glasses all the time but I hate it and only wear it while driving and watching TV. Contact lenses always gives me an eye infection.
Anyway, I once had a conversation with a tree for 2-3 minutes because I thought it was a person. It was dark and I wasnāt wearing my glasses. My mate lived one street away and I begged aka threatened him to go for a jog. I was having a must-get-fit phase but needed someone to join me because I refused to suffer alone. I was at the end of the street facing the opposite side of the road, waiting for him to walk through when I thought I saw him standing there. I donāt remember exactly what I said line for line because my memory is fuzzy and this was close to 8-9 years ago, but it was similar to this:
I called out his name (letās call him Bob) āBobā and there was no response. I was like āBob, I can see you standing there, stop trying to bitch out of this.ā Silence. I got frustrated and started walking across the road while yelling āWhy arenāt you talking back. Why are you standing there quietly like a freak? Are you trying to scare meā. Thatās when I realised as I got closer that it was a tree. Not long after the actual Bob arrived and I was dumb enough to tell him what happened. When I tell you that he NEVER let me hear the end of it, I mean he literally told everyone at Uni what I did and I soon became the butt of so many blind and tree hugging jokes.
Story # 3
I apologised to a chair once. I was at Uni and had to submit an assignment in person and the deadline was 5 minutes away. Printing had taken ages and I was in a mindless panic, so I started sprinting out of the library. I accidentally bumped into a chair, looked over my shoulder and very loudly said āIM SO SORRY.ā My brain and blind eyes didnāt register that it was just a chair until 10 seconds later when I heard everyone laugh at me.
Story # 4 - Last one for today.
When I was at Uni years ago, I had a bone shaking crush on a guy. Iāll walk passed my own mother and not recognise her because Iām blind, but I could detect my crush from miles away and recognise him from his ankles alone. Anyway point is, I was obsessed. Once a upon a traumatising day, I was walking to class when I spotted my crush lingering around, watching me approach with a smile. He started talking to my and I was replying back to him without breaking my stride. In fact, I was so nervous that I started walking faster while I had my face turned to him when BAM, I slammed the side of my face into a pole. My head and ears were buzzing and I could see his expression go from chilled to horrified.
In conclusion
This meme is my whole life summed up for you.
Edited by FingerFetish - 3 years ago
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