Originally posted by: asmi_joya
Sushant did have a major personality change after Raabta did not work is something I that I noticed from mid 2018s. I have seen his interviews when he was doing..seen when he moved to films and also followed him when he suddenly just started talking about things..expressing it in a way that people found difficult to understood. His interviews screamed anxiety in the last 2 and half years.
Ankita and Sushant have been dating from their early/mid twenties. They saw their fame..growth as an actor together. They did have a very lovely relationship. Infact SUshant looked quite in love with her till he was with her. There was thing that I used to notice was he never left her hands in any public appearance. Infact I could relate it to their onscreen scenes where Manav will always hold her hands.. where they would go after getting married the second time. It was endearing to see them like that. And there was not much PDA that you would get to see. He just never let her hand go. This till his last appearance with her. He has said in many interviews that his success means nothing to him if he does not have Ankita to share it with.Both of their instas/twitters were completely loaded with each others pics.
I dont know about the growing apart part. But I do know that the hearts do not grow apart within a month.. One month you quote "forever and ever" and in another two months you talk about growing apart. This is something that I never understood..and probably wont understand ever.
About Ankita being snobby/arrogant , well among the two of them I have always been a fan of SUshant more than Ankita. But she was not what she was always portrayed by the media. SHe was just I would say had a big mouth , not filtering what she should say. It all started coming out when during jhalak elimination she kind of said that "I wish mera Sushant aaye aur sabki band baja de " which sounded very rude at that point of time. She had issues controlling her emotions. But w.r.t Sushant she has been very vert loving and possessive throughout. Infact I remember she would always carry and aura of pride once Sushant got in BW. Even before that every milestone he achieved she would be the first one to scream like crazy. Infact in one his last appearance with her, he performed for ZEE dedicating the performance to ZEE , shiamak davar and SRK , the three milestones in his life. You could see how happy and proud she looks like over there. JUst like a mother is when her child does well . Infact Kriti turns back and held her hand in comforting way in that one.
Sushant after the breakup was prepping for Raabta and also basking in the glory of DHoni. SUshant in his mind was sure Raabta was a hit. Infact it was his dream to work with Dinesh. In one of his first interviews after his debut he mentioned wanting to work with Dinesh. He had worked a lot for the movie and throughout the year he continued promoting it. One movie where I thought he gave in to the pressures of Bollywood where the promotions says more than you work. He was happy yes.. because he saw the greatest success in his lifetime and he was enjoying the attention he was getting for Raabta.Also had signed up movies with Homi and Irffan which eventually got shelved. Drive was also signed then which again eventually tirned out to be the biggest disaster of his filmy career followed by Raabta. He was very excited about landing up these films.. I did also see and arrogant streak in him which I never came across throughout his career..He suddenly started getting so angry and so self pompous. Raabta turned out to be of Dinesh's worst movies. For someone who has seen all his movies in theaters, I found Raabta's trailer so underwhelming that I did not even go on to finish the trailer. It was this failure that changed him and also his filmy friends. I remember just after the failure of Raabta Kriti's Bareily Ki Barfi came out and was a huge success.. I saw a change in Kriti from them . WHen the first poster of Luka Chipi came out Sushant also wished the duo a lot of luck and was royally ignored by both Kriti and Kartik. I felt bad for him. And from here on I saw him getting too much invested in physics (also because Chanda Mama was in line), science, guitar and his proteam. He would travel..interact with friends read books quote them and just that. But yes he had begun to lose a part of him. Him being a skirt chaser and someone who loves to have one nights with ladies with songs of his serial in the background...all this blinds had already started in the beginning of 2018.. That was when I leaped back to him. I had started feeling that he is being treated really bad now.
The me too allegations were the final nail in the coffin for him. And just after that or during that time there were articles on how Kriti and he broke up because Kriti is a one man woman and Sushant has roving eyes. That's when I really felt they never had a relationship that was too close emotionally. You dont do this to someone you love when he is such a mess. You do it someone who was close to you but not bigger than your career. During Kedarnath promotions he felt so lost, so troubled..wanting to explain so much and could not explain a bit. Sara anyway was highlighted throughout. And since the mee too allegations were going on even the makers and director felt it deemed that Sara gets talked about more. And when you see that movie, its Sushant that you take back with you.
ABout him unfollowing Sara , I dont really know because it really felt weird and something definitely went ugly. Because even if Sushant kept removing posts, unfollowing people . He would definitelu follow the ones who he wanted to follow, including Ankita, his sister.. and ofcourse the fans. I do not have an idea what went wrong between them, but I am not of an idea that they were dating. I do remember how after Simba Sara kept ignoring her first hero , a better film and just hyped Ranveer all the time. Infact KWK's episode of hers and her father was in such a bad taste.
After Dil Bechara shooting was done.. I suppose his depression was diagnosed.
I have seen Sushant being a very jovial boy.. jumping around. I have seen him being very matured with his answers. I have seen him talking about a lot of other stuffs apart from books/stars/physics. I have seen him being shy/introvert and laconic but very comfortable about himself, very confident and very articulate.
In the last few years he most of his qualities and appeared so conscious about his presence, about what he is talking about , wanting to speak so much and failing to convert them into words. In fact his last few appearances even in the award shows looked so hollow. He looked completely disoriented. A person might think he is high on something, because of how his face looked like.
About the aforementioned information, I have always had that instincts that he was getting emotionally detached in the last few years especially from mid 2018. He was compassionate about his work, he was philanthropic , he was still very attached to his fans , but he was definitely going low on emotional attachments with loved ones. He gave those vibes. However when he died, I assumed I am being very wrong about him, but getting across this one I realized after all I was right. From the man who once said , I can make friends easily when I talk to them..the man who said when I am low I talk to my girlfriend ..she is my strength..he became a man who said I dont have friends, I dont have anyone to talk to .. He became a man about who , the very people who he was close to in his last days, say that he did not share anything with me. He would never share anything. Probably he had convinced himself that the other person wont understand him at all.
Some parts of his interviews:
"I just cannot do without her."
Though we all know how smitten Sushant is by Ankita, the actor is not very vocal about the same. While talking about his ladylove, Sushant said," I just cannot do without her. This is one of the reasons why I'm emotional, insecure and I want to be with her."
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"If someone is very insecure about people close to him and if he gets used to someone it is very difficult for him to be without the other person. Something very similar has happened to me when it comes to Ankita.
"I am emotionally very insecure about Ankita and she has become a habit for me. I cannot live without her. I believe that I am a very detached person. It is very difficult to live with me. I think even I cannot live with me.
"Under such circumstances, Ankita very happily lives with me. She understands me very well. I would be a fool to let her go away from me. I would never want her to go away from me ever," says emotionally charged Sushant.
This one probably is fro 2015 just during DBD promotions, if am not wrong. I actually had forgotten about this one.
Well , its been a month today and I still feel that his there prepping up for his next one, beating all the rumuous/blinds about him , just focusing on his work. His death made me realise, even if you are around you friends girlfriends, who are not able to provide you the emotional stability you want . Everything you love, you adore you own , be it your books, your knowledge, your dreams, your telescope, nothing ..nothing can give you the assurance that you are needed, needed for them to be. Yo know just like he said, he will not be able to live with himself , and probably there was no one who wanted to live with this Sushant or could not give him the assurance that he is wanted. I dont know about Kriti or the one who followed, but I for sure know that ANkita was emotionally dependent on him. And he was overwhelmed by her need to be with him.
I just saw a post on Ankita's insta after a month , just a diya and quote "CHILD OF GOD". She could not have posted anything other than this as a tribute, considering she is in a relationship now. What she feels shall just be hers forever, she need not tell it to the world.
She and Mahesh were the only ones who never bothered to limit their comments section, when everyone close to Sushant was just busy doing that. They were probably in too much grief to actually be bothered about what names they are being called out. I am sure she is trying to cope up with everything and move on and we all should, even though we as fans who have been with him since he started..find it extremely difficult, we have to. Hugs to everyone who is finding it difficult . I empathize you. I feel you.
Woah , i am moved. I had never followed him as a fan. I was appreciative of him as an actor specially after MSD and i was genuinely blown away after kedarnath. His death had brought such strong sense of loss , that i went back to him as much as i could through internet and started/ reading him about more so as to get a clarity (or idea) about why would he do what he did in the peak of his career if at all he did end his life;Which i believe is unfair to call as a suicide when the investigation is still going on. It is very difficult to study someone you dont know at personal level even as a professional but his demise had stirred something inside that i couldnt not give it a try.
Firstly,thank you for giving such an insight. I dont know how ankita is as a person because i never bothered about her and suhsnat before and i am not a tv buff. The only way i knew him was sushant's girlfriend and that too through his uncountable mentions about her and how she was his everything.
Now when i am going through almost all interviews and literally noting down all his body language and his way of speaking and hand gestures and expressions, i want to say that he always carried social anxiety. May or may not be a reason of him being an introvert. introvert nature doesnt always get carried forward by social anxiety. He was nervous even in his pavitra rishta interviews but it was subtle and he didnt try very hard to cover it up. With kae po che, the glow of success ,and by this i dont mean arrogance, was all over his face. He was happy, great-full and positive. From what i could see, he was optimistic on professional front since his personal life was shaping him well. Again, i dont know how ankita was but she was hands on girlfriend. Not going to comment on whether or not she *sacrificed* her career for him because if it was true, it was her choice so we shouldnt hold it against him. There was absolutely no change in him in my pov from KPC To Shudh desi to byomkesh. Byomkesh tanked and it could have hit him but it probably didnt because he had paani which he was really excited for and worked his ass off(pardon me) for that. I am only taking Shekhar kapoor on face value but i do find yrf shady. And its not because of sushant but this has been my view since eternity. I am guilty of being a dharma production admirer till kal ho na ho but never of yrf. Anyway, with the upheaval in his work life, he still seemed sorted if not happy. He might have cried and was broken because of shelving of paani but didnt take much on his mental health. I want to give credit to his probable stable personal life. Having someone to go back to and talk about insecurities and fear.. about disappointment and expectations and to know she would listen. To have that sense of peace that atleast she hopes/knows that he was capable enough. Ankita was so so proud of him and i can vouch for it just like you. It may or may not be true but in general , it is easy to stay sane in a crazy professional downfall if you have emotional support and validation.
Comes, MSD. His career breakthrough movie and that gave him what he was probably looking for. That was when he looked like a man happy, excited and enthralled. Yet again, he chose to keep her by his side, acknowledged her importance and his own dependence on her at all levels. "I cant do without her" Is not something we hear everyday from a star in a world that required buzz on his personal relationships. 7 years of live-in and such high dependability doesnt just go away one fine day. I am sorry I dont agree that they just grew apart in a span of few months. They might not be in love anymore after they broke off but a part of that relationship probably stayed with both of them.
I second you on the fact that post dhoni success, a streak of arrogance did engulf him but it felt more like he was trying to be someone he was not.Probably tried to be cooler in the wrong way if i may say so.
I am probably in minority here but i did not find any romantic inclination between kriti and sushant. They dated as per a lot many people here and those internet guys and i am not denying that. Dating someone and being in love are two different things altogether and one should not mix it. I could be completely wrong but he looked attracted, infatuated , at ease with kriti but not in love. He was thrilled to have bagged so many projects at the time of promoting raabta and was also tremendously hopeful with this movie after msd. The break up news the surfaced and news like ankita being shattered came into picture and on the other hand we could see sushant having time of his life with raabta and promotions and upcoming movies and a tag of successful performer with msd in his hand. There's a possibility that it was not immediately that he realised what his break up could do to him. I am not blaming his separation as a cause of his depression.. Raabta tanked and barreily ki barfi was a massive hit so there's a possibility he didnt really have anyone to talk about how hard he was hit. I dont know if he and kriti too were in a live in relationship but if not, i personally dont think they both would have shared the loss equally with kriti now getting back to back hits and having movies under her own name. Sushant started losing movies left right and centre. Why is something we will never know but a big bunch of movies didnt even see light after he made them public on his facebook page. Also, in an interview with Ajtak , sushant had said loud and clear that he didnt have friends to talk to and it was *After* msd got sucessful..
With everything slipping from his hand and having absolutely no-one to come back to at home can take a toll on anyone.. specially for someone who has always been emotionally vulnerable.
Outsider-unwanted-skirt chaser-philanderer-womaniser-over priced-over rated-sexual harasser was what he was called every now and then even when he had never misconducted himself infront of media. Again, misconduct and getting angry are two different things. He had no-one to keep his ground firm when everything around was falling apart. He signs movie, prepares for it so damn much and the movie later gets shelved. Its unfair to expect he didnt give a damn because at the end he was human. Imagine the plight of coming back from work knowing the movie got scrapped to an empty home. He said he didnt ever confide in his sisters or father for he didnt want to burden them with his problems so that leaves him isolated, confined in rooms. He probably found his solace in books. He anyway had such strong intelligence quotient. His emotional turmoil was at its peak during kedarnath. Let me explain it with a graph. There's always a peak point in a graph beyond which the downfall starts. The snapping point. He was a different person altogether after kedarnath success from what it was seen in interviews. He was shunned down and was over shadowed by sara. He was really comfortable with sara in interviews initially and he did not hold it against her at all and i would give it her atleast in first half of the promotions she made sure sushant was seen. But then something happened and last few interviews, he was ridiculed for his answers! It was insensitive and rude. Not just one but i three of their interviews were so sara centric that he was just sitting there. His inability to express himself and the frustration that it brought. The one with faridoon, he looked dishevelled, broken,and so vulnerable. That particular interview screamed help. He was so desperately trying to express himself that it hurt to watch. But that was it. That was when he stopped doing it probably. From sonchariya to chichore he was in my opinion detached. From everything. With his costars, with his movie everything. And by movie, i dont mean his craft. The one thing that he remained most passionate about was his craft. He used to interact with his fans on a daily basis! Who does that? Did he really crave acceptance? We will never know. These are all speculations and theres nohing we can say with certainty. At the end of the day, he is (was) a celebrity and we dont know nothing about what happens in their life.
He wasnt articulate but i could spend hours just listening to him and his interesting takes on answers. I have absolutely no idea about his equation with rhea so i wont take that into account. Honestly, i dont think he looked as depressed as to call it quit during chichhore promotions..fidgetty? Distracted? Yes But not chronic depression but what do we know right. We can only talk based on how we perceived him when he was in front of camera..
then lockdown happened and if news are to be believed he lost movies and was then diagnosed with depression and unfortunately we all know how it all ended.
I can atleast talk for myself and i know as an audience I have failed him and this guilt is going to stay.
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