I could at last gather courage to come here and post on this thread after being a silent reader. Its been 4 days yet my hands tremble as I write this. Of course there's no need for a common person like me to post RIP for Sushant yet I do this, not just as his admirer but also as someone who could some or the other way relate to his situation.
I was having my lunch when my brother read the news of his suicide. Honestly I didn't react at all at that moment. I finished my lunch and soberly turned on the TV in my room, changed through almost all news channels only to read the breaking news 'Bollywood actor Sushant Singh Rajput commits suicide at his Bandra residence'.
Still I didn't feel anything, but after a moment my all friends' groups on whatsapp were bombarded with discussions on him, and then like after an hour everything went calm.
I took this much time to process the news and infact I still am processing, not because he was a celebrity and I am his fan but because he died an unfortunate, untimely death. 34 is not the age dammit. I had been his fan since KDMHMD days.... Preet used to be my crush during those days! And JDJ only made me love him more...And with KPC there was no turning back to him! I was looking upon him to be the next self-made superstar who'd rule bollywood with his intellect and talent, but now it feels like Bollywood is not a place for people like him.
Now everybody is like 'Boycot KJo, Alia, Ekta Kapoor, Khans and bla bla bla...'. My point is that jisko jaana tha wo toh chala gaya, now what? After this every single person is like deeply concerned about 'depression' (I like Deepika but seriously annoyed with her depression is an illness story on instagram), people are saying to one another that talk to me, don't be depressed, I'm always there for you..... and what not.
This will go on for a while. For two weeks lets say. Chalo 2-3 months maan liya.... But when Sushant slowly fades away from people's minds, then what? Back to watching shitty movies of star kids? Back to being ignorant of depression? I am kind of neutral towards everyone in bollywood but yes I do have my favorites. SSR was one and will always be one of them. His tweets and instagram stories show how intelligent he was, his every post screamed as if he wanted to do everything in one lifetime itself. And all this wisdom just to have nothing in the end?
Its been 4 days and here I am still asking 'Why Sushant?' We were upset when Irrfan Khan and Rishi Kapoor passed away but they at least had some illness, their fate was in nobody's hands, but Sushant? No.
,I don't know how I'll be able to convince myself to watch Dil Bechara. But I will watch it...I have to.
Hope you're reunited with your mother up in heaven and have other bollywood celebrities there... Hope that up in heaven there's nothing like 'You're an outsider you aren't allowed here...'
You were fascinated by the celestial bodies and stars...Hope you're now the brightest among all the stars up in the sky. ❤️
0