Would you marry a guy like Kabir Singh? - Page 8

So what if he is a brilliant surgeon? You girls are sooo vain and materialistic. That’s why these guys have inflated egos. No thanks, I will keep on working hard to make myself happy and avoid men like him.

I must confess, during my teens and even my early twenties, I would have thought Kabir Singh was a desirable romantic. He is both handsome and brilliant. There is something magnetic about someone with that much intensity. There is something special about a fierce grizzly bear who can turn into a teddy bear just for you.

As I have grown older, I have come to learn that these notions are not romantic but highly problematic. I have come to realize that we women tend to be misguided to believe that saving bad boys is an accomplishment. That women need intensely protective men who will do anything for them.

Sadly, these are the men who end up trapping women in toxic and abusive relationships. Protectiveness without boundaries becomes smothering. Protectiveness without concern for the other ends up in overbearing relationships where the man controls where the wife goes, what she does, and whom she hangs out with. Marriage material means finding someone who is trusting of your choices. Someone who will let you make your own choices, fight your own battles, and step in only when you want them too.

Wild animals become friendly when you offer something life food or protection. Ultimately, they are still wild animals and you never know when they will get triggered and maul you. Its the same with violent men. They may soften for a woman who gives love, attention, and sex. But the second they don't get what they want, when they want, they become violent. Marriage material means finding someone who is respectful of all people equally.

Finally, marriages are not sunshine and rainbows. There will be arguments and disagreements. There will be many times you don't see eye to eye and go in the opposite directions. And every human has those moments when they blow up or get mad. But in general, you want someone who is even keel and stable. The last thing you want is someone who gets drunk or coked up the second you have some sort of marital strife.

I'm not interested in marriage waise bhi. My father was a loser, my sister's husband is more of a Momma's boy so my sister has made a lot of compromises. Isiliye, I've lost interest in marriage.

If I ever do get married, my husband needs to be caring, loving, respectful, supportive, appreciating and well mannered. He needs to have a sense of humour and needs to have good interests that match mine. Marriage shouldn't be about suppressing one's own happiness. It needs to be the union filled with positivity. My husband should be open minded and non judgemental. Marriage must not be a punishment but liberation.

I don't need a man to do anything for me, but just having a support system is nice.

These are just hopes, aise mard exist nahi karte.

Originally posted by: heartbleed

Will you marry someone like him?

Nope. I don't like such irresponsible doctors/men who take impulsive decisions and destroy their own life and others too.

Nope. Not into toxic people.

Originally posted by: Sorein

So what if he is a brilliant surgeon? You girls are sooo vain and materialistic. That’s why these guys have inflated egos. No thanks, I will keep on working hard to make myself happy and avoid men like him.

I love intelligent people

Originally posted by: heartbleed

I love intelligent people

Only Surgeons are intelligent? You can’t be intelligent in other professions?

Originally posted by: Sorein

Only Surgeons are intelligent? You can’t be intelligent in other professions?

yes you can be

Based on whatever I have seen around me, the only "time frame" during which a girl ends up marrying someone like a KS, is when she is around 20-21, either still in college, or right out of college and is still in the hangover of "true love" . If she doesn't impulsively decide to rebel and get married at that time, and waits for a while , starts interacting and spending time with the guy outside a college setting, when both are no more students, and "adulting" by working on their careers or whatever, then the girl is more likely to notice the warning signs and might not be keen to marry such a guy by the time she is 26-27.

Among the cases I have seen - one is divorced, one has decided to adjust with her husband's anger issues because she has a child and he is atleast not physically abusive like her FIL who hits his wife , another has lived with her alcoholic hubby for two decades because - again - he doesn't raise his hand - but his body language when he is drunk is scary enough for her to lock herself up in the room as a precautionary measure.

A couple of others I know have "brainy" husbands with "flashy KS-like personalities" (not KS-level smart, but sharp minds nevertheless) - but these husbands flit from one job to another all their lives, didn't save, thought they were too good for the job, felt persecuted by authority, and ultimately not just underachieved but by the time they were 50, didn't make enough to even own one house or a piece of land. Their wives married them when they were 20-21 because they were taken in by their big words and ideas, and who dreamt of leading lives as homemakers, have children, and take up occasional part-time jobs as a hobby rather than a career. Soon , a few years into their marriage, they realized their husbands were all-talk, and they had to upskill themselves, get full-time jobs, and slog to earn and save money for the family's future - and two decades later they are still working - while quietly listening to their husbands regale guests and relatives about their newest venture, or independent assignment or exciting project after years into their early retirement from corporate life. The wives can't show them the mirror, because they are supposed to be demure, quiet ones, who married their husbands because they were so charming, and protective during their college days. The women are changed people now, who keep quiet because they know the men - or rather their ego - can't handle the truth.

Originally posted by: HummingBird12

Last year I slit my hand to make my parents to not get me married. They gave me an year time. All my relatives are either harassing me and old unmarried and married uncles (relatives) are being creeps with me. I am way too sheltered . I have always been either accompanied by either my brother or father to even coaching centre. I literally didn't talk to any of my school or college male species all my life. Now, they want me to get married to a unknown species, who could be a psycho.

I don't get Indian parents ! They love their daughters unconditionally and give them so much freedom then they say to their daughters to adjust and be a stranger's personal whor*.