Mira Rajput exclusive interview with Bombay Times

A Delhi girl, Mira Rajput catapulted into the limelight when she tied the knot with Shahid Kapoor in 2015. In the beginning, she found the media attention intrusive, but in the last two years, she has warmed up to the idea of facing the flashbulbs with her other half. This Mother's Day , in her first full-on interview to a print publication, she talks about being a newage mom, giving Misha a normal childhood amidst normal childhood amidst the public glare and how her statements on working moms were misconstrued. Excerpts...

You enjoy a certain ease in front of the camera. Is this how you have always been or have you developed this confidence over time?

I think it's a part of my personality. I am unfazed by the attention and am comfortable with who I am. I guess that shows.

Your marriage to Shahid put you in the limelight. Were you prepared for it?

It's understandable; because Shahid is an actor, there's bound to be curiosity about his partner.I have to respect the love people have for him. But yes, it was intrusive at times and I was not used to it. Now, I know how to maintain a safe distance.

Did Shahid forewarn you about the attention?

Yes. He was more worried about it than I was and prepared me for it. He is my strength and it's because of him that I can speak my mind. He doesn't curb my thinking and lets me be.

You shifted from Delhi to Mumbai and got married to a Bollywood star. In a way, your entire life changed overnight and it must have been very challenging. But in comparison, do you think motherhood is an even bigger challenge?

The Delhi-Mumbai battle is going to be a lifelong one. While my heart is in Delhi, my life is in Mumbai. Coming to motherhood, it's a huge step, but I was looking forward to it. It cemented my relationship with Shahid.As a couple, we became who we are after Misha's birth.

All women have certain notions about motherhood, but reality often turns out to be different. Was that the case with you, too?

It is very different watching others and then experiencing motherhood yourself. I have two elder sisters and I have seen them raising their kids.But both of them have different approaches. My eldest sister is married into a joint family and her kids are very social, always surrounded by people.On the other hand, my sister who lives in the US manages everything on her own. After having seen them over the years, I knew exactly how I want to approach motherhood.It's natural, it's going with the flow and it works for us.

You are a young mother, but a lot of women these days embrace motherhood at a later stage in their lives. Do you think it is better to have children early on and then pursue what one wants to?

To each her own, but being a young mom works for me.I am more hands-on and I have more energy . I think we'll be friends when Misha grows up. Age gap will not be a roadblock in our relationship. My mom had me very late in her life and my relationship with her is very different from the one that my sister has with her first born because she had him early on. So yes, I think that being a young mom is a huge advantage. I'll give her all my time now and once she gets older and independent, I will start working. I have nothing against being a working mom. I think it's great to be able to balance a career and motherhood, but this is what works for me.

Your recent comments about wanting to stay at home because Misha is not a puppy who you'd spend an hour with, and then rush to work, received immense flak...

I was just speaking my mind, my intention was not to offend or hurt anyone. Could I have chosen my words better?
Maybe. But I am not a seasoned actor and I don't know how to be politically correct. I was speaking for a section of women who aren't given their due. For that matter, I don't think financial independence is the only yardstick to measure feminism. Women who stay at home and take care of the children or work from home deserve to be celebrated as much. They are also feminists in their own right because they have chosen their lives... even if they have not, they are giving it their all. My mom balanced her career and motherhood. There was never a time when I felt that she was not around. That's the essence of what I was trying to say . I don't want to cross the fine line between independence and negligence. The Bill on sixmonth paid maternity leave was passed recently and it's to enable a woman to spend time with her baby . It's not just for physical recovery; had that been the case, adoptive mothers wouldn't have been eligible for it. It's to nurture the bonding between a mother and her child. That's all that I meant.

A certain section of women believed that your comment was insensitive towards working mothers, who can't spend enough time with their kids...

Opinion is the fulcrum of the society . Everyone should have one, but people should also have the discre tion to not shove it down somebody else's throat. My intention was not to belittle working women, but I don't want homemakers belittled either. There was a lot of flak, but that's their opin ion. I was just voicing mine.

How did you deal with so much of criticism?

It was tough, but I had Shahid by my side. He said, 'It's okay and it happens.' Also, I prefer looking at the positive side of things.

Does it affect you when Shahid gets cornered for what you say? Do you think you have to be a little cautious?

I am not an actor or a public figure, I have the luxury to be politically incorrect. Also, Shahid is not going to defend something unless he doesn't believe in it. He will only stand up for what's right.

Nowadays, it's nice to hear couples say that 'we are pregnant'. What's your take on that? And what kind of a dad is Shahid?

Shahid also said that, because parenthood is a 'we' experience. Shahid used to sing to Misha when I was pregnant. He used to talk to her and would convince himself that she is kicking inside my womb in response. I had a difficult pregnancy , we even feared not being able to pull it through, but the experience brought us together. We cherish Misha so much more because she is a miracle baby. Shahid's relationship with Misha started right from the moment when he got to know that I was pregnant. Fatherhood comes naturally to him. He is fully involved and he changed her diaper even before I did.Shahid wants to be connected to her always and I think that's great. Misha is going to have him wrapped around her little finger.

A lot of celebrities are wary of their kids being in the limelight. How do Shahid and you negotiate that space?

As far as media attention is concerned, I know it's going to happen. I can't keep Misha behind closed doors all the time. I want her to have a normal childhood. I want her to know that she has the privileges that she has because of her father. She has to respect that. I just hope that she doesn't get swept away by the tide.Obviously , I want to share what Misha does with my family and friends. Shahid also wants to do so with his friends and family . She is our pride, but there is always a line. I want to protect her as much as I can.