Flying high

Tuesday, September 26, 2006 14:44 IST

Once overseas trips – I'm not about to say "in my time" – were an exception. Today they're the rule. And so, print and electronic media are frequent fliers to spots ranging from Mauritius and Australia to London, New York and..who knows about tomorrow?..Haiti and the Hebrides.

A rickshaw ride to Mehboob studio, for interview sessions, is out. A Benz-drive to the Eiffel Tower is in. Wonderful, we the chroniclers of glowtown, have been majorly upgraded.

For a glimpse of our international beat, I rewind, right here, to three random funoranjan trips.

VIVA LAS VEGAS
Can never forget Las Vegas. Or Pardes. Have landed in New York, after a killer flight, the connecting jet is a hundred terminals away, I run like a born athlete, pantingly I show my ticket to a blonde, she hisses, "No seats, you're on a discount ticket, wait if you want to..or go back home."

I wait for 10 hours, 11 hours, 12 hours, at long last the blonde's heart melts like candle, I get on an object resembling a flying Maruti 800 and reach LV. It was worth it, the limitless lights are dazzling, the casinos are royale, and I'm lodged in the MGM Grand. Sleep boy sleep.

No zzzz. Production chief intervenes, I have to be ready in five minutes, maybe ten. I keep my James Dean stubble on, I'm at a theme park where Shah Rukh Khan is hanging from a wire in mid-air, he waves. I g.g.gasp, he could fall any minute. The shot's okayed after an eternity (in the final product, it's a one-second blur), I'm feeling faint, SRK isn't. He tells me he's returning to Mumbai in a few hours. "What!" I cry. "Then who do I interview here?" Two canyon-deep dimples flash, SRK exits. Subhash Ghai enters.

I love Subhashji. I want to see what makes him click. At the Grand's carpeted lobby, he readies chorus dancers to pirouette, but hello, dance director Ahmed Khan is missing. Ghai choreographs the dancers himself. Mahima Chaudhary twirls and twirls. American tourists watch, mouth agape and ask, "Bollywood, huh?"

I shrug, "May be."

Hot afternoon. Ji and I are searching for highway spots where we (WE?) can shoot. I suggest a cool valley stretch, Ghai says, "Superb idea. This is it, you're a genius." Am I? Anyway, I feel I've contributed to cinema history.

But after a week of such improvised, on-the-moment shoots, I visibly age. I haven't slept, I haven't even seen the slot machines. I want to get back home to my mamma. Trouble: the ticket isn't valid unless it's approved by an airline manager or something, I get a fresh one on credit card. Like SRK, I exit like a blur.

At home, I report on the experience. Subhash Ghai hasn't talked to me ever since.

HIGH ON HONG KONG

Star TV wanted to be in the news, which it was, but it wanted to be more in the news. So with a posse of Asian journalists, I'm in Hong Kong, supping on oysters on ice. This is paradise..but when do we get to work please? "Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy," we're told. "Shop, see the sights," and wink, wink, "Do what you like." Is he talking peep shows or pursuits more daring?

After three days of oysters for breakfast, lunch and dinner, I nearly give birth to a pearl. That Star TV liaison officer finally shows up with a van into which we are herded like premium cattle.

We reach a hilly mound dominated by the splendidly architected Star TV centre. We're shown huge dish antennae, each one with special features. The other journos nod away knowledgeably. I don't understand a word. Why are we here to see dishes? Stupid question. "Enjoy!" Mr Liaison picks his favourite word again from the dictionary. Enjoy, I guess I did.

SOUTH AFRICA CANCELLED

For a magnum opus love story shooting, that's already been on for a fortnight, I'm invited to Johannesburg, Economy style. Chalo, let's rough it out, squeeze into a tight-fit seat, the next one occupied hopefully by the most beautiful woman in the world.

Forget her buddy. South Africa must be seen, I must get a load of the wild life, the great sweeping outdoors, the great crafts, the great SA wine, I'll love it. Sun City, naah that's not for me though.

Babbling, I reach Sahar, check in and count two ticking hours, the Air India flight has been delayed. So what's new? I settle for a plastic bucket seat snooze, only to be rudely prodded in the ribs by an AI officer who without addressing me as Sir or Mr, says, "Khali Mummad you are? Flight is cancelled, loaders on strike." Gee.

That film unit back in Jo'burg doesn't miss me. No inquiries where I am, why I haven't fetched up. Indeed by the time the loaders' strike is called off, the unit is back. It was a very short love story.


Location Hunting

Favourites
• New York
• London
• Zurich, Basel-Statd, Lucerne
• Singapore
• Mauritius
• Auckland
• Sydney
• Dubai
• Bangkok
• Johannesburg

Occasional
• Seoul
• Budapest
• Vienna
• Athens
• Warsaw
• Moscow
• Kuala Lumpur
• Hong Kong
• Muscat
• Maldives
• Seychelles

Next attractions
• Namibia
• Rio de Janeiro
• Caribbean Islands