~ SINGHAM RETURNS Review/BO Thread ~ - Page 8

Starring: Ajay Devgn, Kareena Kapoor Khan

Director: Rohit Shetty

Rating: 1.5 stars

Welcome to Loki's kitchen. Today we will tell you how to prepare the signature Rohit Shetty dish called Singham. Let's start with the ingredients --- two dozen cars, 50 litres of kerosene and a matchbox.

Method: Put a hero in a gym-grinder for six months. Close the lid tightly and put the grinder on. Take a pretty and expensive strawberry face that can mouth some silly dialogues in pretence of comic relief and does exactly what she is expected to, LOOK BEAUTIFUL!

Take a few slices of stereotypical characters and chop them mercilessly till they lose their colour or impact. And Oh! don't forget the hero in the gym-grinder. Poor thing has already developed a lot of muscles in last six months.

We then take a dozen cars, pour generous amounts of kerosene on them to put them on fire. Throw all other ingredients, including your strawberry and the muscle man in the fire and lo! Your Singham Returns is ready! Garnish it with an item number by Honey Singh. Serve it hot and sizzling.

Singham Returns is yet another seemingly' serious take on Indian politics and all the vices that plague it with such uninspiring stereotypical characters that put you to sleep. For instance, if Anna Hazare and Arvind Kejriwal had a love child, it will be the honest politician in the film called Guru played by Anupam Kher. And the lust child of Asaram Bapu and Ramdev will be thisdhongi baba played by Amole-doing-this-film-for-money-Gupte.

Then there is a Fab-India-big-bindi-oxidised-jewellery-reporter who seems she was adopted and brought up by Barkha Dutt. And a politician who is an offspring of so many...okay, the visuals are so disturbing that I will not even complete the sentence.

Amid this we plant a preachy, very preachy, no, no, like today-is-the-last-day-of-all-sermons PREACHY inspector, Singham, who stops everyone in sight and gives them a piece of his holy mind. We see him lecture young boys with gems like, "Dhyan do. Bike ki gati pe nahin, future ki pragati par!! (Someone please translate that for me and tell me in which part of the world wegati-pragati our youngsters?!) He doesn't even spare his girlfriend --- Police-don't-sleep-we-are-so-dutiful-we-are-so-lovely!! Girls-shouldn't-party-club-or-drink!'-look-at-me-I-am-so-amazing-honest-no-bribe-police-officer!-I-love-myself-oops-I-mean-I-love-you-too-but-I-love-my-duty-first! He even slaps everyone who tries to bribe him with gems like, "Main leta nahin, deta hoon!" And we see men flying in all directions.

The story of how people's money is stashed by corrupt politicians is treated immaturely with simplistic, superficial treatment. In the name of sub-plots, we have some issues addressed like the police families suffering after the officer's demise and how desperate people get to sell their votes, the only two scenes that had some soul and substance and stood out.

Then there is Honey Singh too with an item number. Funny, he started his career with a lady's vital stats, lakh 28 kudi da, 47 weight kudi da. Here he shifts his focus on a hunk- solah ka dola, chehalis (46) ki chathi.

I loved how Dudley had captured Mumbai in his lens, some very Instagramish, monochromatic shots of the Worli Sea Link and Gateway of India. The shootout scene next to the railway tracks, no matter how inane, is shot well nonetheless.

Action is usually a high point in a Rohit Shetty film, but Singham Returns doesn't offer anything new. Hero comes, takes off his shirt, hero touches the villain, hero throws him into space, shoots in the air and a cavalcade of cars is set on fire in the background with a supersonic score like the old OLD SPICE ad. If this works for you, book your tickets. After three hours, I just had three words to say: Ata Majhi Satakli!! Singham, please don't return for a trilogy!

http://www.masala.com/movie-review-singham-returns-176158.html