Posted:
filmigirl blogs on the whole issue..
an opinion piece
How (Not) To Do Crisis Management in Four Simple Lessons
As soon as the news of what would soon be tagged "Slapgate" broke this morning, the Bollywood-tinged corners of the Internet exploded in a mass of journalistic speculation, full-on hate, passive-aggressive hate, and jokes (both snarky and mean-spirited).
The accepted facts, as confirmed by both Shirish Kunder and Sanjay Dutt, are as follows: 1) Shirish Kunder was at Sanjay Dutt's Agneepath success party; 2) Shahrukh arrived post-Filmfare Awards at Sanjay Dutt's Agneepath party; 3) Shahrukh Khan gave Shirish a smack; and 4) Sanjay Dutt separated them.
Shahrukh Khan has denied this has happened.
Now, leaving aside the actual slapping here is what I think we can take away from the reaction to this incident.
LESSON ONE: People really hate Shirish Kunder. A lot.
I'm sure Shirish would be the first guy to admit that he's not Mr. Congeniality but the level of vitriol that both the media and a large number of Bollywood fans have for him is incredible. He's a sharp-witted, straight-talking guy who is prone to put his foot in his mouth in the manner of your Ram Gopal Varma's. In an industry where unmitigated praise is the preferred form of communication, I can see how he might earn himself some hate for that from industry folks. (I certainly have been on the receiving end for giving honest opinions.) That doesn't explain the media, though.
(Did he give a Vivek Oberoi style press conference about what a douche Shahrukh Khan is that I missed?)
I admit I have a lot of respect for Shirish. He's a very talented editor and came up in the industry through hard work. Jaan-e-Mann might have flopped but it has become something of a cult classic in the years since. And I'm happy enough to admit that I saw Tees Maar Khan twice in the theater on opening weekend because I enjoyed it that much.
AND two actors I hold in high esteem (Alexx O'Nell and Pitobash) are part of his upcoming Joker. When I talked with Alexx ages ago for Outsider in Bollywood, he said Shirish was very introverted with a analytical mind. You all probably have friends like that - a little socially stupid, prone to shooting their mouths off, but not bad people. Can you imagine what would happen if your big mouth friend had a larger platform? Might he or she not make a mess like this?
LESSON TWO: The Shahrukh Khan Media Machine is unstoppable.
When the story first broke this morning, I was all set to like Shahrukh Khan again. Not because he slapped (or didn't slap) Shirish but because it was a crack in the facade. For months now, we've been treated to the glib Shahrukh Khan show: "Ra.One was a success! Don 2 was a success! Awards! Awards! Awards! Awards are so important!" Then came the Filmfare Awards and no award for Shahrukh, not even the Critics Choice. And he must have been feeling the sting of having Agneepath break his record so soon after he set it - and with seemingly less effort.
Now, I'll believe that this kind of Awards-Box Office-Filmi Show means very little to a guy like Salman Khan beyond making his producers and distributor friends happy.
But I do not for a second believe that it means nothing to Shahrukh. He talks about both things way too much. It's like Sonam Kapoor and her food obsession. She can claim all she wants that she's well fed but her constant talk about ice cream says differently.
Failure hurts. Not meeting your own expectations hurts. Being the butt of jokes hurts.
What I liked (initially) about this story was finally seeing a glimpse from Shahrukh that maybe the picture wasn't as rosy as he had been shoving down our throats. His pride was hurting and in a real way. I can appreciate that.
And then the Media Machine took over.
Ideally, Shahrukh should have called up Farah and tried to work out some sort of PR deal - he apologizes; Shirish apologizes; they hug it out and go back to feuding in private.
Instead he decided to deny that it happened while the press went into overtime with things that could only have come from the SRK camp, blaming Shirish for getting smacked.
That's right, according to certain parts of the media, it's Shirish's fault that he got smacked. Did Shirish purposely put his face right where Shahrukh was smacking?
Initial reports had Shahrukh upset at Shirish making fun of his films - later reports had Shirish doing everything from groping random party goers to sending filthy SMS messages to Sanjay Dutt's wife to accosting Shahrukh in the bathroom. So, Shahrukh attacked Shirish not because he was butthurt over his failure of a 2011 being pointed but because he was either a) PROTECTING WOMEN FOLK or b) DEFENDING HIMSELF FROM SCARY SHIRISH DESPITE THE FACT THAT SRK HAS THREE BODYGUARDS HIRED FOR THAT PURPOSE AND SHIRISH IS SCRAWNY.
That is some major turd polishing.
LESSON THREE: Fans be whack, yo.
I'm going to get in trouble for this (maybe my sympathy for Shirish lies in our similar propensity for putting our feet in our mouth) but super-duper Shahrukh Khan fans are crazy. The same folk who would have me believe that Shahrukh Khan was just defending some ladies at the party were calling me a bitch and s**t today on twitter for merely expressing the opinion that perhaps grown men shouldn't go around hitting each other as a way of conflict resolution. Do you see the irony?
Now, Shahrukh hasn't admitted that he hit anybody but I'm going to make a blanket statement that people shouldn't go around hitting each other as a way of conflict resolution. It was wrong when Saif Ali Khan thrashed that journalist and it was wrong all those times Ameesha Patel's brother Ashmit got into fights (with Upen Patel, Sikander Kher, etc.) and always. Petty violence like this is just immature and thuggish and nothing to be celebrated.
What makes this incident any different from Ashmit Patel thrashing Sikander Kher outside a nightclub?
Let me figure it out. Oh, right... Shahrukh did it. Therefore it's right. Therefore anybody speaking against it is wrong. Therefore Shirish must have done something really terrible to earn it.
Did I put my finger on it?
At the end of the day, the only thing this incident says to me is that Shahrukh has really lost the plot if he can't handle one loudmouth director without snapping into violence. To steal from Danny - A real King doesn't bother to listen to the court jester... I guess that means the King is now Badshaah in name only. Long live the Court Jester.
FINAL LESSON
Did Shirish say something stupid at Sanjay Dutt's party? I'm going to say probably, yes. Shirish Kunder says stupid stuff, everybody knows that.
BUT of the two of the them, Shahrukh is supposed to be the big star. Would anybody have cared if Ashmit Patel gave Shirish a tight slap? Probably not.
So, who is the real loser here? Is it Shirish Kunder for shooting his mouth off or Shahrukh Khan for letting him get under his skin?
Do you know what I did to those idiots who were calling me a s**t earlier today? I didn't slap them; I ignored them.
Our final lesson is that there is only one place Shahrukh is king of now and that is the press because let me share with you something I realized this afternoon: The day after the Filmfare Awards where Shahrukh didn't win a thing, nobody is talking about Vidya Balan or Ranbir Kapoor or Zoya Akhtar.
Everybody is talking about Shahrukh Khan.
The accepted facts, as confirmed by both Shirish Kunder and Sanjay Dutt, are as follows: 1) Shirish Kunder was at Sanjay Dutt's Agneepath success party; 2) Shahrukh arrived post-Filmfare Awards at Sanjay Dutt's Agneepath party; 3) Shahrukh Khan gave Shirish a smack; and 4) Sanjay Dutt separated them.
Shahrukh Khan has denied this has happened.
Now, leaving aside the actual slapping here is what I think we can take away from the reaction to this incident.
I'm sure Shirish would be the first guy to admit that he's not Mr. Congeniality but the level of vitriol that both the media and a large number of Bollywood fans have for him is incredible. He's a sharp-witted, straight-talking guy who is prone to put his foot in his mouth in the manner of your Ram Gopal Varma's. In an industry where unmitigated praise is the preferred form of communication, I can see how he might earn himself some hate for that from industry folks. (I certainly have been on the receiving end for giving honest opinions.) That doesn't explain the media, though.
(Did he give a Vivek Oberoi style press conference about what a douche Shahrukh Khan is that I missed?)
I admit I have a lot of respect for Shirish. He's a very talented editor and came up in the industry through hard work. Jaan-e-Mann might have flopped but it has become something of a cult classic in the years since. And I'm happy enough to admit that I saw Tees Maar Khan twice in the theater on opening weekend because I enjoyed it that much.
AND two actors I hold in high esteem (Alexx O'Nell and Pitobash) are part of his upcoming Joker. When I talked with Alexx ages ago for Outsider in Bollywood, he said Shirish was very introverted with a analytical mind. You all probably have friends like that - a little socially stupid, prone to shooting their mouths off, but not bad people. Can you imagine what would happen if your big mouth friend had a larger platform? Might he or she not make a mess like this?
When the story first broke this morning, I was all set to like Shahrukh Khan again. Not because he slapped (or didn't slap) Shirish but because it was a crack in the facade. For months now, we've been treated to the glib Shahrukh Khan show: "Ra.One was a success! Don 2 was a success! Awards! Awards! Awards! Awards are so important!" Then came the Filmfare Awards and no award for Shahrukh, not even the Critics Choice. And he must have been feeling the sting of having Agneepath break his record so soon after he set it - and with seemingly less effort.
Now, I'll believe that this kind of Awards-Box Office-Filmi Show means very little to a guy like Salman Khan beyond making his producers and distributor friends happy.
But I do not for a second believe that it means nothing to Shahrukh. He talks about both things way too much. It's like Sonam Kapoor and her food obsession. She can claim all she wants that she's well fed but her constant talk about ice cream says differently.
Failure hurts. Not meeting your own expectations hurts. Being the butt of jokes hurts.
What I liked (initially) about this story was finally seeing a glimpse from Shahrukh that maybe the picture wasn't as rosy as he had been shoving down our throats. His pride was hurting and in a real way. I can appreciate that.
And then the Media Machine took over.
Ideally, Shahrukh should have called up Farah and tried to work out some sort of PR deal - he apologizes; Shirish apologizes; they hug it out and go back to feuding in private.
Instead he decided to deny that it happened while the press went into overtime with things that could only have come from the SRK camp, blaming Shirish for getting smacked.
That's right, according to certain parts of the media, it's Shirish's fault that he got smacked. Did Shirish purposely put his face right where Shahrukh was smacking?
Initial reports had Shahrukh upset at Shirish making fun of his films - later reports had Shirish doing everything from groping random party goers to sending filthy SMS messages to Sanjay Dutt's wife to accosting Shahrukh in the bathroom. So, Shahrukh attacked Shirish not because he was butthurt over his failure of a 2011 being pointed but because he was either a) PROTECTING WOMEN FOLK or b) DEFENDING HIMSELF FROM SCARY SHIRISH DESPITE THE FACT THAT SRK HAS THREE BODYGUARDS HIRED FOR THAT PURPOSE AND SHIRISH IS SCRAWNY.
That is some major turd polishing.
I'm going to get in trouble for this (maybe my sympathy for Shirish lies in our similar propensity for putting our feet in our mouth) but super-duper Shahrukh Khan fans are crazy. The same folk who would have me believe that Shahrukh Khan was just defending some ladies at the party were calling me a bitch and s**t today on twitter for merely expressing the opinion that perhaps grown men shouldn't go around hitting each other as a way of conflict resolution. Do you see the irony?
Now, Shahrukh hasn't admitted that he hit anybody but I'm going to make a blanket statement that people shouldn't go around hitting each other as a way of conflict resolution. It was wrong when Saif Ali Khan thrashed that journalist and it was wrong all those times Ameesha Patel's brother Ashmit got into fights (with Upen Patel, Sikander Kher, etc.) and always. Petty violence like this is just immature and thuggish and nothing to be celebrated.
What makes this incident any different from Ashmit Patel thrashing Sikander Kher outside a nightclub?
Let me figure it out. Oh, right... Shahrukh did it. Therefore it's right. Therefore anybody speaking against it is wrong. Therefore Shirish must have done something really terrible to earn it.
Did I put my finger on it?
At the end of the day, the only thing this incident says to me is that Shahrukh has really lost the plot if he can't handle one loudmouth director without snapping into violence. To steal from Danny - A real King doesn't bother to listen to the court jester... I guess that means the King is now Badshaah in name only. Long live the Court Jester.
Did Shirish say something stupid at Sanjay Dutt's party? I'm going to say probably, yes. Shirish Kunder says stupid stuff, everybody knows that.
BUT of the two of the them, Shahrukh is supposed to be the big star. Would anybody have cared if Ashmit Patel gave Shirish a tight slap? Probably not.
So, who is the real loser here? Is it Shirish Kunder for shooting his mouth off or Shahrukh Khan for letting him get under his skin?
Do you know what I did to those idiots who were calling me a s**t earlier today? I didn't slap them; I ignored them.
Our final lesson is that there is only one place Shahrukh is king of now and that is the press because let me share with you something I realized this afternoon: The day after the Filmfare Awards where Shahrukh didn't win a thing, nobody is talking about Vidya Balan or Ranbir Kapoor or Zoya Akhtar.
Everybody is talking about Shahrukh Khan.
Arjun
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