Toxic ~ Even if we can't be together in the end - Chapter 23 Up ! - Page 37

Originally posted by: maanmeet1

this story is really beautiful...look forward to reading more...i had been searching for zo-adi stories and stumbled on this one and loved it...every chapter is outstanding...

their thoughts, povs...espcially when he is talking to readers directly(giving his 2 cents/advise/gyan)...

Originally posted by: Syed695

Loved it !

Originally posted by: adventure_gurl

😛 loved it!

Originally posted by: tannu_love

excellent story👏

Originally posted by: sammy

loved it👏

One of the hardest decisions you will ever face is choosing whether to walk away or try harder

Zoya's POV

LIES.

They have a life of their own. They multiply, divide, and conquer - not just the listener but the liar, too. They infiltrate the truth. They twist words until false is truer than reality.

I should know. I have become a master at them.

For a while, lies had been my saving grace. They'd kept me warm during lonely nights and kept me sheltered when only darkness remained, but now, I had a chance at happiness, and my lies aren't giving me power anymore...they're stripping me of it.

Stripping me of him.

I ran away from him before.

I ran instead of telling him the truth.

Adi,

I am done with you and this relationship. We have nothing left. I am withdrawing from the University and won't be staying in New York anymore. I don't want to stay in touch as I can't pretend to be your friend.

I wish the best for you in life.

Take Care,

Zoya

I ran.

And then I vanished.

A single bag - empty - lay abandoned on the left side of the room. The wardrobe was filled with dresses, skirts, pendants, shoes and bags. I cringed. Three cardinal rules of being in witness protection : To only covet that which I could carry. To only steal that which I could use. To only befriend those who wouldn't kill me.

Too bad, I broke all three the day I flew to Aloha fully aware of what would happen. I knew Aditya would be here. I'd craved him when he wasn't mine to take. I'd stolen memories I wanted because I had no choice. And I'd befriended him even when I should've kept my distance.

I pack the essentials in my bag and get ready to leave. Again. The difference - this time he showed me the door.

"Your freedom, Ms. Siddiqui"

Freedom. He had given me my freedom as Diwali gift. Then why did it feel like punishment ? I should be happy. Strike that, I should be overjoyed. I was finally getting my wish - life away from Aditya Hooda and his web of deception and ... seduction.

"All I could think about was our time back in college - how I used to bring you lilies before bending you over and f**king you hard."

"Run as much as you want Zoya Siddiqui but every damn path leads to my bed"

I didn't want any of that , right ?

He unshackled me from his contract, I was free to go back to Delhi. The whole Chief Architect thing was a ruse anyway. Aditya Hooda was not foolish enough to hand over the reins of designing his precious hotel and golf course to a rookie like me. The actual design was outsourced to another design expert, I was just doing some irrelevant work. Mrs Gupta, his assistant - bless her kind, old soul - let me in on the secret after I had blasted him on ignoring my suggestions.

"I've been trying to work on the design for the past one week. Trying being the keyword here. I need inputs Aditya - I can't design the whole thing by myself. You need to tell me what do you want ?"

"I am serious Aditya.I am trying to work and I can't do it unless you tell me what I need to work on !"

"I am serious too Zoya. I will tell you when I damn well please"

I couldn't really blame him though. He knew my Architecture Design Degree was fake, Arjun didn't. Oh well, it was not only the degree - everything about me was just that. FAKE.

"Does Meridian Corp put private investigators after every employee ?"

"Not everyone. But, you my sunshine are a special case"

"You are clearly not paying your investigator enough. Seeing the piss poor job they are doing"

I prayed like hell, hoping the new investigator also didn't find out anything like the first one. It didn't matter anymore though, he had given me freedom. But, I felt discarded. Abandoned. I should petition again and add contradictory' as my middle name, because that's all I was. I was happier when he had spied on me. Damn right, I was. Ecstatically happy.

The accident happened at 1:44 p.m. Monday at 11400 Old Lemont Road, near the Chicago Shipping and Sanitary Canal. Both driver and passenger died on the spot.

Love or lust. I wouldn't endanger Aditya's life. I had survived this long. I would do whatever it took to continue.

Throwing few clothes into the bag, I grabbed my passport and train ticket. I wrenched open the front door and glowered at the dismal weather. The watery dawn did nothing to inspire either anger or contentment. The sky was grey. Fog looked like haunting ghosts, threading its ghoulish tentacles over the blue sky. No birds chirped or sun shone.

The bite in the air shouted 'go back to bed where it is warm' but I had a train to catch. I hadn't relaxed for five days. I had stared at my phone, waiting for a text, a call - something, anything - from Aditya, only to stare blankly at the screen wallpaper.

I decided to walk the two kilometers to the station instead of calling a cab. Clutching my shrug tighter over my arms with a backpack on my shoulders, I prepared myself for the final goodbye to Aloha. I wanted to walk faster but my feet refused to cooperate. Rolling hills and wild grass flurried my heart erratically. Every minute, I walked farther from Aditya. Every minute, I felt more and more desolate. This is where I belonged. This was home. My heart lodged firmly in my throat. I gulped, squared my shoulders and moved on.

Something, anything to distract me.

What was the article I was reading yesterday ... multiverse theory. Multiverse theory, the idea that there are infinite universes running parallel to our own where we are playing out our infinite lives.

Remember the 1998 film Sliding Doors ? Gwyneth Paltrow rushes to catch a train in London after being fired from her job. In one universe, she makes the train and gets home early and finds her man in bed with another woman. In the other, she misses it, comes home to her boyfriend alone, and stays with him to her own detriment and despair.

The big What if ? What if I had chosen to attend Arizona State University instead of New York University ? What if I hadn't enrolled for the course Aditya was the TA ? What if I hadn't broken up with Amay ? What if I hadn't gone to the abortion clinic that fateful day ? What if I had refused to testify against John Luchesse ?

I am thinking of all this while standing at the small Aloha station, waiting for the train. I had chosen train instead of booking a direct flight. Why did I do it ? I don't know, I just felt like it. So I did it. Guess, I am just being spontaneous.

The next moment I set the benchmark for spontaneity and ... stupidity. I looked at my iPhone and texted the only person, I shouldn't: Where are you? I am leaving today, can you meet me at the station now ?

No answer.

I owed him a final goodbye. I wouldn't repeat my mistake again. He can't accuse me of running away. Not again.

"I asked you to trust me and you gifted me with a pathetic breakup. You are a f**king coward, sunshine. Didn't even have the courage to say it to my face"

Time slowed. Seconds crawled into unwilling minutes. No reply. Frustrated, I paced on the almost desolate station. A huge clock hung ominously in the middle.

I looked at my phone. Aditya had texted back: I will be there in 15 minutes

Emotions tore me into two and I trembled, almost dropping my phone.

Another text : I'm running late. If I don't make in time we can talk on the phone

Ok I replied. But, I was angry.

As I started walking towards the track, I thought maybe if I hadn't accepted his invitation that night for dinner so many years ago which ended with our kiss, I wouldn't have become pregnant, I wouldn't have needed an abortion or given that godforsaken testimony.

The shrill noise of an engine tore through my indecisive thoughts and the train rolled to a stop on the platform. I looked at the station entrance gate one last time. But, he wasn't there. As I boarded the train, I checked my phone again. A text from him: I am just outside the station, if I make it, I'll go straight to the train and try to find you.

I boarded the mostly empty compartment and sat in my assigned seat. I replied : Okay. Just get on, we'll find each other.

But I thought - He's going to miss it.

I sat back in my seat, wondering what next. What awaits me in Delhi ? Am I destined to be with someone else ? What was the purpose of these two months in Aloha ?

And then I wondered what would have happened if I had taken that West Coast fellowship I had applied for before I met Aditya but was promised to me after I fell in love with him. By that time, I was too happy where I was, in New York City, with him, waitressing and being a law student. Still, maybe if I had taken that fellowship I would be living in San Francisco now, having a picnic lunch down at the beach, watching whales spout and drinking local white wine straight from the half bottle.

The train started. I gazed at some guy sitting several rows away, facing me: kind of cute, the right age. What would have happened if I had married this guy? Would I have a house and a dog and live in Dehradun?

I took out my phone. The train was moving. I was going to text him and let him off the hook, tell him to turn around and go home. It was a stupid idea. My apology hardly meant anything now, anyway. Too less, too late.

But he had already written: Made it ! What compartment you on?

I typed : How very typical of you

Then I looked up to see what compartment I was in so I could write and tell him, and there he was sitting directly across the aisle from me. He was staring at his phone, waiting for my response. He didn't even know I was there.

And he looked so handsome! Uncharacteristically wearing a white gym shirt and running shorts, because my message took the health freak by surprise. I stopped a moment to savor him, his dark disheveled hair, toned biceps stretching the white fabric of his shirt, the eagerness of his expression as he waited for my text - the triumph of making it just in time!

Aditya Hooda, dressed in impeccable custom-made suits carried an air of power, discipline and certain unpredictability. Everything about him sent a frisson of heat racing through my stomach. But, Aditya in running shorts and shirt was Adi, my Adi. Half of him was a lovable child while the other half was steeped in sin.

His fingers drummed impatiently on the phone screen, waiting for my reply. Aditya has beautiful hands - strong, sinewy and graceful. They hold the phone loosely. Confidently. I felt an indescribably calming sensation, knowing that if I was ever unsure or confused, it was okay - because Aditya would know what to do. Like he did when I informed him about my unexpected pregnancy.

"But, have one thing very clear my sunshine, you don't have to. Not for me. We can make this work. I don't know how. But, I am damn sure we can figure it out. You and me"

I received support when I expected denial and outright anger.

"We're getting married. You always wanted to have a Christian wedding in Las Vegas, right ? Pack your bags darling and get a white dress"

Marriage proposal instead of denial and shrugging off his responsibility. I thought that he was kidding at that time. He was not.

"Trust me"

I could put myself in those skilled hands, follow his lead and it would all turn out fine.

And I realized: This is the person I was destined to run into 8 years ago, and again and again, in this multiverse and hopefully all the others.

I'm right next to you I typed.

Startled, then smiling, he looked up. His gaze captured mine, holding me prisoner in their dark depths.

Adi.

Sheer idiocy or feminine intuition - a part of me just seemed to know. When we were alone, when we weren't fighting or arguing, there was an enchanting calmness. A connection. The spark between us couldn't be denied. It burned like a tripwire, waiting to explode. The day I met him again in Aloha, I found my missing piece. He completed me. He was the only one I wanted to be a permanent fixture in my life.

He gave me my freedom but I wanted to be his captive.

My lips mirrored his smile as I trembled at the burst of connection while salivating at the thought of more.

Then he asked the most difficult question "I let you go, why haven't you left yet ?"

I sucked in a heavy breath and moisture filled my eyes. My voice was soft but strong, lyrical but brave "Because I want to be your everything, just like you became mine"

Guys thank you for leaving such wonderful comments on the last update. I am really grateful to each and every one of you. 😊

PS : I sent PMs for each update. Send me a Buddy Request if you want one.

Chapter 20 : Tale as old as time

That was amazing. Loved zoya pov. I so thought she would go and he would find her again. I can't wait for the next part. Plz so update sooner.

No yaar...The last line said by zoya...Uff...U made me cry..

me 😊

Dear Harsha,This is beautiful..heart touchingly beautiful..
And I'm happy to hear from you..You know what also come in my mind after reading your reply,I'm not getting your points correctly,na??viewing in a different point..

Zoya in her own self shedding all her masks,My heart goes out to the woman who loves her man more than anything and away from him for the same reason..When the love will be fair to mere mortals who only wished for each other..

Why did you write so beautifully??your take on emotions are splendid..I was sad for a reason and then the update left me teary eyed..

So Zoya went to abort and had seen the accident which changed her life..Forced to go away to save him too..
She put herself in risk to come here..She even refused a good chance in earlier days too..The things love makes one do,sigh..

Now she thinks he release her to go away from him..Why do i think this is the case of letting go only to grab tighter than before..Damn i was like why don't you two speak what is in your mind instead of playing these games..And here comes the reply from her..

And the title,isn't what the difficult part of everyone's life..
Thank you dear for the pm and I beat you to read it..hehe..


i did forget to tell about the multiple universe.I love that you know..Sometimes i too wish the answers for what ifs via that theory.. For her every things lead to him..He didn't find her and she didn't find him,Both found each other,the that was/is supposed to be their journey..

This story is so fresh and amazing... love it