Part 1
"Where are we going?" I asked. I had to know because he did have the habit of making plans suddenly, or informing me suddenly so that I wouldn't refuse. I was shy. He knew this and I always admitted it. I was still trying to understand what he saw in me, but the way he talked, it sounded like he saw the world in me. I was just a simple girl, from a small village, and whatever I had become was because of him, and I wasn't much of anything before he came into my life. That's why I couldn't understand why he loved me so much. But I was thankful because I loved him too, more than he would ever know, more than I could express.
At times I talked too much and at times, words failed me. I knew he was waiting to hear what my exact feelings for him were. I was going back and forth in my mind between a verbal confession or something written down.
He put the phone down and looked at me. "We're going to Udaipur." He said, calmly.
"Udaipur?" I was apprehensive.
"Yeah...we have to be there in two days. I think we should leave tonight, so we could reach in time, have a nice drive, without having to rush...and relax for a bit..."
"But why do we have to go? Maybe you can go by yourself." I said. He raised an eyebrow. He didn't look pleased.
"It's a conference, a small one...but they needed a lot of speakers, and since I'm in charge of the hospital...in a village...they want me to share my experience and so on with all the interns in attendance...anyway, why should I go alone?"
"I don't want them to think that your wife is..." I was scared to complete my sentence because he would get angry.
"My wife is what?" He was waiting for an answer. I knew his temper, but he would want me to be honest.
"If you introduce me to people, friends, other doctors...I don't want them to question your choice." I felt bad, but at least I was being honest. He looked hurt already.
"My choice of a wife?" He narrowed his eyes.
"Yes. I mean, look at you...you're a surgeon and..." I stopped.
"Complete your sentence..." He said.
"I'm not much...of anything." I said.
"You're a nurse. A mother. You're sensible...you're brave, courageous, a fighter, inspiring...you're beautiful...you have manners, you respect people...I love you..." He said. He stood up and put his hands on my shoulders. "Where's this attitude of being a bad choice coming from? Did anyone say anything? Did Maa say something?"
"No...she didn't...it's coming from me. I don't think...I'm good enough for you..." I winced, because I was scared how he'd react.
He didn't speak. Instead, he sat down again and sat with his shoulders slumped. He sighed. "What should I do?" He was questioning himself and not me. I sat next to him and patted his shoulder.
"Sorry..." I said.
"You think you're not good enough for me...now you're apologizing for it..." He said. He looked stressed.
"I was being honest but I never wanted to hurt you." I said.
"Can you understand that I will be hurt if you don't go with me? I want my wife there with me. Some of those doctors know I just got married. I told them about you. They know you're a nurse at our hospital. Look Ganga, no one has any right to question my decision to marry you. Also, there's nothing questionable...and, I have nothing else to say. You're coming with me, that's final. My friends in Mangalore didn't find anything wrong with you...and I'm pretty close to them. These people, they're just colleagues; I meet them once in a while. Just...relax..." He said.
"So we're leaving tonight?" I asked.
"Yes." He said. He mood was off now and I was the reason. I had to change the subject.
"And Mannu?"
"Dadisa wants him to stay with her." He smiled. "We could take him along if you want, but it's a long drive so..." He said.
"It's better if he stays home." I said.
"Yeah."
Since we had moved back with the family, Mannu was back in the spotlight. There were many volunteers every night who wanted him to sleep with them. The idea still made me a bit anxious. It's not that I didn't want Mannu to sleep with someone else, I trusted them all. It's just that being alone with my husband at night still made me feel loads of shyness and anxiety. We weren't at that level yet. It's another thing I felt bad about. He seemed not to mind at all. In fact, he showed no indication that he was upset, he never even discussed it. But I thought my behavior was a little wrong. I knew he would want me to take my time. I just needed to start accepting that he saw a wife in me.
"I'll pack your things." I said. I packed.
"So, should I wear sarees there?" I asked.
"You should wear what you're comfortable in." He said.
"Will most of the ladies there be in sarees?" I asked.
"I think so."
"Then I'll wear the same." I said.
Mannu was already in Dadisa's room. Both of us got ready and left. It was drizzling when we stepped outside.
"I hope it doesn't rain any harder." He said.
"We can go in the morning too." I suggested.
"If it rains too hard then we'll stop somewhere...and take a break..." He said.
We started our journey. It stopped raining.
"You should try to take a nap. It's a long drive to Udaipur." He said.
"No, if you're awake then I can't sleep." I said.
"Oh..." He smiled. "I think you fell asleep before me last night..." He smiled.
"But it looked like you were asleep." I blushed.
"I was pretending to be so I could watch you sleeping..." He said.
"You shouldn't waste your time doing that." I said.
"You call it a waste of time...I think it's...romantic...I have such an unromantic wife." He said. He was teasing me.
So he thought I was unromantic. It meant he expected me to be more romantic. I was still so shy and there was so much I didn't know yet about how to impress him. I didn't know what he wanted but maybe this was a step in the right direction. I needed to be a little more receptive to his attempts at being romantic.
The rain slowed down so we continued our journey. In between, he suddenly took an exit from the highway.
"What happened?" I asked.
"I felt something...I think one of the tires went over something..." He said. He slowed the car down. There was a weird sound.
"Wait, let me check..." He said. He went outside and checked. He came back.
"Damn...there's a punctured tire. The back one, I think it went over a sharp nail or something. But we have to keep going. I'll try to find a gas station, get this tire changed..." He said. We continued driving and he found a gas station somehow, a small one. He parked the car and some mechanic came forward and started working on the problem. But the rain started again.
"Oh no..." He said. Raindrops fell on his forehead and he blinked. "That's all we needed." The rain became faster. I had to get out of the car because the tire was getting changed. We both got out of the rain, which was now very heavy. Dr Sa looked worried. "I don't think we should continue driving in this...we need to find a place to stay at night."
"But where are we?" I asked.
"Somewhere in between Jaitser and Udaipur..." He laughed. "I have no clue." He said.
I frowned. "That's not good."
"I'll ask this guy if there are any hotels around." He said. The tire was changed but now it was unwise to continue driving. It was raining so hard that visibility was zero. The mechanic told Dr Sa that there was a hotel but we'd have to drive further.
"You're not in a spot where tourists normally end up...it's another 20 minute drive." He said.
We got in the car. "I don't think it's going to stop raining anytime soon. It actually just got worse..." He said. He sighed. "Oh all the nights for it to pour like this..." He was angry now. I patted his shoulder. "It's raining and now you're angry...but we have to drive further...calm down." I said.
"Yeah...I just feel stupid. We should have left in the morning. Anyway, there's no going back now." He turned around and we headed back on the highway. There wasn't much traffic so it did take 20 minutes exactly. We reached the hotel the mechanic was talking about. It was a building right behind a big shopping mall.
"We're not in Jaitser anymore, at least..."He said. He parked the car and took out our bag and I followed him. Both of us got drenched. We checked into the hotel for the night and went upstairs. I'd never stayed at a hotel before, so it was very strange for me. Our room was on the fourth floor. I held our bag and he opened the door. We entered. I tried to understand the concept.
"People have stayed in this room before..." I said.
"Yeah, they have..." He replied.
There was a big bed in the center of the room and two windows draped with long curtains. It was a nice room, in blue and white colors.
"Others have slept on this bed too?" I asked.
He smiled. "Yeah, others have slept here Ganga...it's a hotel...people make temporary stays here...but don't worry...there's housekeeping, the wash things, do dusting and all..." he shook his head.
I blushed from embarrassment. "I know. I was just curious."
We were alone now. It was nighttime. It was raining hard and both of us were fully drenched. He was wiping the water from his face with his hands. I dug through our bag and gave him a towel.
"Thanks." He said. I was beginning to feel shy because this was the first time since we'd gotten married that we were completely alone at night. Mannu was back home. There was no family. It was just us in one room, and a long rainy night.
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