Posted:
Can we evolve a code of conduct for our members?. I know IF has rules but I'm seriously appalled by the coarseness of language and the third-rate name calling happing on this forum -- on both sides..Gauri is not easy to defend at all. She has been godawful to Anandi and the Singhs. So it is legitimate to dislike her. But what is not legitimate is to call her a mistress, s***t etc. This kind of language is demeaning as much to the target as to the user and certainly no woman should use this for another woman. What do you call a man who is in an extra-marital relationship? Haue you thought of an equally offensive word for Jagya? Why are the curse words always aimed at the females of the world?
I'm equally upset by the abuse of a gentleman like Bhairon. His only fault is that he could never defy DS. But he quarrelled with himself all the time, felt agonised by his helplessness and slowly but surely put his foot down. Please there are very few men in this world who can come anywhere near this level of humaneness. Let us respect him.
Take Gauri, leaving aside our distaste for her personal conduct. She did marry Jagya in the temple, didn't she?. If only a court certificate can prove your marriage, then, my mother, my grand-mother and even my sister never got married. I don't know what you'd call me -- a product of a certificate-less marriage? Or something worse?
.Secondly, let us recognise that the problem here is how JaGo treated Anandi. That was unforgivable. But strangely and ironically Anandi herself tolerated it all. Indeed,her character would be equally appalled if she were to visit the forum and see how Gauri is being abused. She would bristle at the gender curse words being used for her.
So many of my friends are in live-in relationships. Two of my dear friends are in extra-marital relationships -- on both sides -- because their respective divorce hasn't come through. One of them has been refused a divorce by her husband. So is she to suffer forever? Does she become a mistress by this act?
We live in a world where political correctness demands that we don't use certain outdated words. There was a time when other names were permissible for the black people. Today it would be considered terribly racist to use those words.There was a time when we could use words like untouchable and harijan. Today they have been replaced by Dalit. We no longer call an unmarried woman a spinster -- I cringe at the word. We say she is single..
So language has evolved and there are ways to say the same thing without heaping indignity on ourselves. Can't we respect each other even as we take sides and agree to disagree?
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