What are Anandi's Problems? Is she crazy?

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Monamie

@monamie111

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#41

Anjana..gr8t analysis...and i agree with you 😊...and thanks a ton for this lovely analysis..much needed one!! 👍🏼...

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madhubala.fan

@madhubala.fan

Navigator

Posted: 13 years ago

#42

Originally posted by: AnjanaYYZ

In my few years of working with domestic abuse victims, I never met one that was asking for abuse even ones who returned to their abusers time and again for watever reasons. The most frequent reason I found that women returned were: 1) children/family/societal pressure 2) They come from broken homes or were victimized from childhood and it is a cycle that is difficult to break. None were sadists who got off on the pain! But, maybe you in your life experience have seen/experienced something different.

sorry to butt in ...

since u have worked with the victims u know these facts.

but for people ( and by that i dont mean tinoo whos epost is this but peopel at large who have no expericne of DV ) find it very hard to believe why a woman stays back.

to them it is sheer lack of motivation or cowardice or a manchausen's sndrome ... while in reality it takes phenomenal courage to break free and most women in a set up of DV want theri situations to improve without teh marriage being broken.

slowly their confidence gets eroded ...

but lets not be judgemental towards them on surface. like i said since we r not in their position we can never really pass judgements. and pelase last thing an abused woman deserves is callous contempt of fellow women!

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AnjanaYYZ

@AnjanaYYZ

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 13 years ago

#43

Anjana.d - that's exactly it... no woman ever told me she enjoyed being beaten, harassed or threatened or demeaned. When I worked as a domestic prosecutor many asked me to withdraw the charges, but all wanted that behaviour to cease ideally without ending the relationship for varying reasons. That's why in my country, offenders charged with low level domestic abuse who are not repeat offenders are sent to a 16 week program...to help them with their control issues... during this time they most likely are denied contact with their wives.

Edited by AnjanaYYZ - 13 years ago

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vidyasu1

@vidyasu1

Explorer

Posted: 13 years ago

#44

@tinoo @bluerobin

Felt sick when I heard Anandi equating Jagya with God. Her love was tapasya, aradhana and he left her because somewhere her devotion was inadequate. My blood literally boiled when I heard that. Jagya was nice off and on to little Anandi and was physically attracted to the older Anandi -- but only until he found the "more" attractive Gauri. At no point did he do anything to deserve being equated with God and being installed in a temple. She took a bullet for him, and if that was not enough aradhana what more could she have done? Give up her life? Am sue Anandi would have gladly done that too. Even after Gauri, she never once got angry with him. She continued to indulge him, made sure his coffers were overflowing with HER funds, was nice to Gauri, was happy about their child, was always there to listen to Jagya, she put up with Gauri's abuse.

I wish she had shown one per cent of her anger towards Shiv to the JG couple. I have lost all respect for her. I think Ashima , in one stroke,overtook Anandi yesterday. And her "Mahanta" was without any theatrics. She quietly, calmly, stepped aside showing a strength of character whcih Shiv needs really to appreciate.

Shiv should marry Ashi -- she is truly Indian even if she dresses western, and she understands him completely. They should make the Ashi-Shiv story a parallel track because they are both such wonderful humans and would provide a beautiful contrast to JG.

Let Anandi continue her ekla chalo path, and let her continue to be at the service of JG.

PS: I understand her pain -- and the need for Shiv to understand what she went thru -- but she is bot helping herself by saying she loves her past and does not want to forget it. Yes, she will fight the whole world for others but is happiest being trampled underfoot. Does she not think for one moment that she has no right to go around stopping balvivahs when she seems to be still in love with that part of her past?

She need not accept Shiv -- in any case, he will be condemned to a life of lectures -- but surely she need not wear her abuse like a trophy? I liked Anandi a lot but today I like Ashima more.

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lucky

@Luvushaheer

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#45

lolzzz doesn t she realize how lucky she is to have some one like shiv in her life...

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Suchi-

@Suchi-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#46

Originally posted by: tinoo

Certainly no woman (or man or child) deserves abuse... if however, one is willingly putting oneself in a situation where one is the recipient of abuse ... then definitely one is asking for it again and again... one cannot say "he is abusing me, I continue to stay in the situation, and he should not abuse me because I am not deserving of abuse"...

Tinoo, you seriously, am sorry to say , have NO idea about what women, who are abused go through. I have seen them personally!

THEY cannot help it.

They want to get out of the situation, but simply cannot! its easy to sit in AC room and discuss about 'what a woman should do in such cases' but to feel the pain , those women feel! honestly, a person wouldn't DARE suggest that , if I were in your case I would do such and such.

No one is willing to put oneself in abuse! its a state of Psyche.

I think this is precisely why you are not able to understand Anandi is going through cause you probably have not seen abused women or have been around them.

I have so I can relate and this is precisely why I support Anandi and understand what she is going through.

So its no use explaining to you her mental Psyche. you just won't get it.

So we stop here and agree to disagree

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Suchi-

@Suchi-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#47

Originally posted by: vidyasu1
@tinoo @bluerobin

Shiv should marry Ashi --

I agree , Shiv should.

Anandi is not begging him to marry her.

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AnjanaYYZ

@AnjanaYYZ

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 13 years ago

#48

vidyasu1 - yup Shiv should marry Ashi. If he can't handle Anandi ka pain then he should stick with what he can handle... someone who sugarcoats the truth for him so as to not hurt his fragile feelings.

As for Anandi - I must have missed some dhasu dialogue about her still wanting Jughead because what I heard was that for her love was like prayer and he was the one in her temple. But, he himself destroyed that puja and the place she had for him in her temple. The temple is now empty and she is too scared to place someone else there. Maybe I need to get my ears cleared

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KwitKatts

@KwitKatts

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#49

@ Suchi: Really, no ones ready to understand. I get more depressed explaining such things as I too have personal experiences to really understand the plight of abused women. Its easy to be a 3rd person and judge others saying what they should/ shouldn't do..

Me too ending my efforts here. This is really depressing😭

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Khusi

@khusi_*

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#50

when how where ..it is concluded that she cant stop loving jag!!😲

when did she said that...!!

she said i cant forget what happened to me..means what jag did to her she cant forget..not that she cant stop loving her...

there is a diff between...cant stop loving and cant forget what happened...!!

the temple is empty...so jag is not in her heart...!

she is deffo moved on from loving jag and still cant completely moved on from the abuse and inhuman thing jag did to her!!

i clearly remember her lines when JG enter 1st time in haveli..she went to jag and said..i will love u forever...

and to sumi she said..i am waiting for my jagiya coz he is now is jagat ...

those lines worst...much better that what she said to ashi and ds...her recent lines clearly indicates how much she is moving on...

if she want then she can say that i cant forget jag so i wont go for divorce and remaarige toh wese v not gonna happen..but she DIDnt say that at all...she said what happened to me..i wont let that happen again to me.

Edited by khusi_* - 13 years ago

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What are Anandi's Problems? Is she crazy? - Page 5

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