Originally posted by: tinoo
I dont think even one person on the forum has said that anandi must be pagal to reject him - given his good looks, his intelligence and the other blah blah blah...
what I (and others) personally question is whether she is pagal to go and scream at him when he did nothing at all to hurt her ... if she doesnt want to marry him, fine. Nobody has said she should... we are not compelling her to marry shiv ... but to yell at him for something dadisa said is not in good taste, it is not dignified and it is not right. In addition, giving him a long lecture on ashi et. al is also none of her business ... ashi had already made it clear that her interest in shiv is one-sided ... and therefore, anandi cannot yell at shiv for not having feelings for ashi at all... that is none of her business.
and as for all that immense pain, and raw hurt etc etc. that too is all blah blah blah because she is still talking yesterday about how much she loves jagya.
I agree with ranidutta -- anandi is only comfortable being abused and battered and she is a 100% fit for jagya -- she loves to wallow in his abusive behaviour, so much so that when a normal man comes into her life and treats her with respect on all occassions and never so much has crossed even a single boundary with her, then she simply cannot take it...
Tinoo -
1. maybe I am wrong, but I think you are reading my post selectively or reading into things I am not saying. Have I alleged that anyone on the forum called her pagal? Its more of a rhetorical statement... logically he's a great catch and it makes little rational sense for her to reject him prima facie.
2. A marriage proposal or its acceptance is personal - very personal. He crossed the bounds of "professional" the moment he accepted it. And no she is not completely rational in her reaction to it... she is reacting to it from an emotional place. Lashing out. BTW in no post have I said that Shiv is at fault - I have said he needed a dose of reality. He was looking at Anandi with rose coloured glasses and needed a dose of reality... that she is scarred and scared! Scared people overreact... its instinctive.
3. I listened to what she had to say to Ashima. Anandi did not state she still loves Jagat. She stated that for her love was puja and the person whose name she wrote in her temple himself destroyed that puja/temple/murti... That temple is now empty (therefore Jagat in it). She wants to leave it empty, because she can't go through the experience of placing someone else's name there and going through the same experience again. It would destroy her.
4. No woman deserves abuse. Part of the reason some women accept is that it becomes a pattern... they don't know that it could be better. That does not make them less of a victim. Empowering such women and rebuilding their self confidence to the point they think positively of others and themselves takes a looot of effort both on the part of the woman and those around them. Self esteem is not rebuilt easily - education, professional successes help, but they are not the complete answer... I know plenty of accomplished women who are still to scared and emotionally scarred too contemplate a relationship. When all you have experienced is rejection then you expect it from everyone and are wary of everyone...
5. If ashi can interfere in her bizness due to the bounds of friendship including calling her back and telling her to marry shiv or that shiv loves her then Anandi can stand up for Ashi because she feels Ashi's pain having been in similar shoes.
6. Shiv got his answer and if he like you feels that she is undeserving of a decent non-abusive relationship and she is capable of only abusive relationship then he can certainly move on.
Edited by AnjanaYYZ - 13 years ago
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