Originally posted by: earth1978
i cannot and will nto compare an infant who is innocent to people who are well capable of managing their own affairs. its actually inappropriate to even compare a helpless child to adults who can make that cup of tea for themselves. but a child cannot drink milk on its own.
my baby will always come first and i will not compare her to inlaws. i need not prove to you what i can do for my baby ... she is my life and infact she is the reason i live each day.
what will you do if one day u come home dead tired and ur inlaws say the moment u enter the house ... bahu hamare liye chaai banao? u will go meekly and prepare it?
secondly if ur husband dsnt prepare pakode or appreciate ur efforts for his sister ... would u still be patronising me by telling me i am going to be rude with my infant baby inlaws who just happen to be 50 years old and well capable of making at least chai. i dont prepare chai , for no one , becuase i there is simply no end to the work i wud be heaped with if i dont set boundaries.
what u plan to do with ur life is purely ur perspective ... dotn endorse it as something which shoudl be normal or expected.
do u know why thissociety is male oriented, becuase of women who think it is a womans job to please a man and keep the relationship going. it is becuase of women like you who expect women to be superhumans.
man has absolutely no responsibilities what so ever, is that what u want to say. u will teach this sexiest approach to ur son ...> to ur daughter? expect this servitude out of ur bahu?
i never argued about anandi ... she has her qualities ... i am not even talking of her and ur trying to sya i am playing down her qualities becuase i decided to speak in defense of a doctor? lol how immature and biased is that. i never stated that a sarpanch's job is any lesser than a doctors ... it is you who is screaming this ina ll ur posts that a doctors job is nto important and doctors are not good wives and blah.
you seem to be ignoring the need one rest for a workign woman ok a doctor ... a doctors job is very demanding as it deals with life.
if ur sister in law is undergoing usrgery u dont want that surgeon to faint on table performing it . do you? thats teh reason a doctor needs to sleep befre surgery the next day so that he/she can serve people like you and ur beloved SIL and save ur life. and im not sure how it may concern u at all if a doctor performs her surgery well but dsnt cook well or manage her house well ... or pamper her husband as well as u do.
ok so u are not a doctor ( thank god!) but u are a simple workign woman ... what if someay u dotn get sleeo if next day u are having a really important presentation ... u will not request ur husband to let u sleep? to please his ego u will not sleep till late hours and be dizzy teh next day so that ur presentation gets screwed and u loose face in front of ur collegues??
ur not serving ur nand merely becuase of love ... it is becuase u expect the same from ur bhabhi u know after u have had ur nand for a visit , u can go and rest and make ur bhabhi work for urself to give u comfort. ds ur bhabhi have a bro and a bhabhi so that she casin slo go and get royal treatment ? if not show a little concern to her as well. she is also ur SIL albeit the wrong one whom u dont need to please or pamper becuase she happens to be bahu of ur parents and wife of ur br and becuase ur bro loves u much more than he loves his wife so she is oblidged to obey him.. and i dont see u taking the name of ur bhabhi who is doing it all for ur cmfort along with ur brother ... i am tmpted to say ur sexiest but i will hold my reins as its probably not right and against the forum rules.
there are boundaries and limitations to what a woman should do ... .
if husband wants sex when the wife is tired/sick /unwilling shoudl she still force herself merely to please him. forced sex is reoulsive but it is a wife;s duty to keep her husband happy so she shud kill her soul and do that too as it wud please husband and his ego.
what if a working woman's husband is having an affair behind her back? wud it still be that woman's fault?
i dont think all of us women who want a little rest are runnign away from our responsibilities. thats ridiculous to assume. not all of s who use our reason and not pamper our husbands ego , are out to ruin our relationships. it is ridiculpus to assume that a woman automatically has more responsibilities than a man ... thats just givign men the clean chit to come home and spread in front of TV laptop and watch cricket while a tired wife serves him dinner.
i dont argue when i know my husbadn is wrong, i just tell him what is right and what is wrong... i let him have his way and deal with the consequences later on. he has learnt to trust my decisions and opinions and now often ask for them. this wudnt have happenned if i had no personality and meekly obeyed everythign he said. that was bad for himself only.
we might have toiled at a different level in a different way than u and we can still be successful wives if we dont turn ourselves as doormats.
come to think of it ... by your own reason ... anandi was such a wife who supported and obeyed jaggi without question ... was she able to save he rmarriage? so even anandi is a failure case by your own definition as she cudnt satisfy jaggi. and he got hooked to another woman. i dont know whom u wud like to blame in case of anandi and jagiya becuase as per you anandi has all the qualities and even despite that she cudnt make her married life successful. aur ye to tumhara hi kehna hai ki aadmi kahin jimmedaar hai hi nahi ... saari jimmedari aurat ki hi hai . and anandi is a woman i think, a bigger and betetr workign woman becuase she is a teacher and sarpanch and not some measly doctor , she can slo multitask well then why did her marriage fail?. i wonder what u have to say to that.
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