Anandi's boundaries as a sarpanch - Page 9

omg anandi ne keh diya ki dhurbhagya hai is ladki ka jo isne aapke ghar mein janam liya jo aap iska bachhpann chheen lena chahte hain to itna bada issue ho gaya ?????? usse pehle jyoti ke father ne kya kaha tha ki agar uski shaadi rok di gayi to durbhagya hoga .anandi baar baar keh rahi thi aap jaake shaadi rokiye but what jyoti parents r doing not obeying a sarpanchh and arguing with sarpanchh ????? and when they said ok they will stop marriage of jyoti anandi trust then what jyoti parents do they take advantage of her trust and lock her inside her room ?????? it is anandi herself who told villagers not to call her sarpanch as they r elder to her when she was elected as sarpanch and few days back she also stop shiv singh for raising hands to a villager .anandi has never disrespected elders just because she is angry with madan singh and jyoti parents v cant say that she has no respect for madan singh and jyoti parents us time ki situation hi aisi thi ki anandi ko naaraj hona pada but v know she respect madan singh and jyoti parents too

Originally posted by: tinoo

Thanks payal and anjana -- 🤗

But that is the nature of the game here on the forum. There are certain people with manners who refer to the issue at hand and respond exclusively to that ... and then there are certain people who are ill-mannered to the core (sreevask being one of them) who simply dont know where to draw the line. Her words, more than a reflection on me are a reflection on the upbringing her parents have given her. 😆

No offence taken 😉

On a funny side...Yest my hubby saw Balika Vadu...after seeing the fight sequence he said these people are mad or what they r messing with Sarpanch and District collector!...dont they know abt powers of DC (And I dont mean physical powers ;))

Originally posted by: menusingh

sarpanch gharo m ghus kar shadia nahi rokte...anandi is different sarpanch even i also belong to rural family...4 to 5 village are together in our side...but no sarpanch move to home of people and start bashing on them

for everything there is police...anandi is qute diff sarpanch

Right she shud have waited outside the house till the police came and by that time the marriage wud have been over .Probably the child bride and groom wud have left too.

Anandi has every right to stop the marriage ...and breaking the law cannot be a personal matter , even if its getting ur daughter married ...

Originally posted by: tinoo

Okay, so the issue of law vs. personal boundaries particularly when the law and law-upholders dont take responsibility for the fallout.

I believe that female foeticide is wrong -- for a variety of social issues.

I also believe that abortion of a child found to be mentally retarded or afflicted with down's syndrome in the womb (during the course of a sonogram) is also wrong -- because there are social and ethical issues at play.

The former is a big issue in India -- and the latter is a big issue in the U.S.

While it is illegal to engage in female foeticide in India -- in the U.S. there is no such law (YET) though there are several propositions/proposals on the table. So at this point, killing foetuses with disabilities is just unethical.

While pro-life activists condemn killing foetuses with disabilities ... I stand on the other side with the parents right to choose.

If the law stops a child with a disability from being aborted and that child is born, lawmakers and law-upholders will thump themselves on the back for having saved a life, dust their hands off and walk away congratulating themselves.

So, the child is born with severe disorders, and now the responsibility of this unwanted child is on the parents. The parents may or may not have the financial or the emotional werewithal to bring a child with a disability in this world, and then raise it for the next fifty years. I personally would not want to be tied down to a child with a disability (My choice -- others may have different choices).

It is very easy for someone to say "Tinoo should give birth to the child with down's syndrome because the child has a right to life"... when they will not be the ones shouldering the consequences.

The same with female foeticide -- I dont applaud it, but I really wonder about the activists who stop it, force the girl to be born and then walk away. The girl child is born into an environment where she is unwelcome. She will always be treated with resentment and second-rate treatment. It is not just that the lawmakers gave her a 'life'... my concern will be on the quality of life that this unwanted girl child will have.

I dont doubt the nobility of the first action... but when people who are not engaged with or interested in the consequences interfere and then dump the consequences back on the concerned parties, I really have issues.

I dont think that there are any clear cut solutions but it is certainly an interesting discussion on the law and its interference in personal matters.

Originally posted by: znursingh

@ Tinoo First of all!
@Payalibm
@anjana

Please,I did NOT mean to be rude or critical of TINOO-if ANYTHING in my post came across as that,I DO apologize most sincerely.
I disagreed with Tinoo's VIEWS this ONE time and I thought I outlined my OBJECTIONS to the views expressed NOT with Tinoo per se, if it came across as anything else or more than that I'm sorry.
TRULY NO OFFENSE WAS INTENDED>

Originally posted by: leo4ever

i found ur post v logical and not at all harsh nor do it thnk they were talknig abt u

OH! Thank Gwad! I do hope Tinoo too sees it as generously as you do.

Originally posted by: tinoo

This is something I am just struggling with right now --

I fully agree with anandi's cause of stopping child marriage -- both her personal conviction as well as her responsibility towards the law...

But I have two issues --

First, I cant stop to think what responsibility she takes for the girl afterwards. I mean to what extent can you barge into someone's personal life as the sarpanch?... and all this she is doing (stopping the child marriage) is only appropriate if

a) she takes the responsibility of educating jyoti and living in badi haveli during this duration

and

b) she takes the responsibility of marrying jyoti whenever jyoti turns 18 or adult...

To stop this child marriage and then drop the whole ball back into jyotis parents court does not seem appropriate to me, particularly since they may also illtreat jyoti later on.

Second, and this is something I really dislike about anandi --

she insulted madan singh about asha and said "since asha is not your own daughter, you dont care for her"... i thought this was really out of line ... because madan singh had taken asha in under his roof, he fed her, he clothed her ... and then all of a sudden anandi walks in and says "you dont care for her" because of some issue...

today once again she insulted the girl's parents about the "durbhagya of jyoti" to be born into such a useless household to such a useless father. I think these are really strong words.

Would any of us like it if someone whom we are bringing up (child or niece/nephew) came and strarted criticizing us and our parenting based on some incident... "oh you dont know how to parent"... I mean, our reaction would honestly be "get lost, I know what is best for my child"

Any views?

Looks like according to you speaking harshly and rudely to save some from evil thing is wrong then screaming and shouting at people for their own selfish ness is right .. Good