Is Shiv right or wrong about Anandi?

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AnjanaYYZ

@AnjanaYYZ

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 13 years ago

From his conversation with Daadisa it would appear that he thinks that Anandi has handled her divorce rather well, is not at fault, and carries no negativity towards the institution of marriage or bitterness about the failure of her marriage.

I agree with his assessment, but only to an extent. Yes. Anandi has remained gracious and has retained her faith in Indian culture, tradition, and her elders. But, I don't think she still perceives marriage as positively as Shiv thinks. I don't know how Shiv will react to Daadisa proposing marriage between him and Anandi, but I doubt Anandi will go for it. Her wounds from Jagat are not visible, but they are there. She is just adept at covering them up and has done so to protect the Singhs as well as herself. Whence "remarriage" is suggested to her by Shiv or the Singhs, I think we will see a rather resistant and hesitant Anandi. She may respect Shiv, but she has a lot of self-confidence/image as well as trust issues before she will ever leap into marriage again. She may trust the Singhs, but I don't think she has thought of remarriage at all. Her life is Jaitsar and that is what she has committed herself to. It will take a lot for her to expand her thinking on a more personal level once more and even then... I think she will be reluctant to trust anyone - even Shivraj.

In other words, if Shivraj falls in love with our Anandi... he does so to his own heart's peril!

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NoOne12

@NoOne12

Navigator

Posted: 13 years ago

I don't think Anandi is bitter or someone who looks at life as repetitive patterns. Thats is if one relationship doesn't work out no relationship will. I don't think J's misbehaviour has any way weakened her or made her think all men treat women like that. She has successful marriage of Bhairon and Sumitra for example.

I think falling in love again would heal her. I think she may be resistive, but I am not sure because of J's illtreatment. May be she thinks its not a match for her or something else. But there is attraction between her and Shiv, she won't be able to deny it. I am sure it won't be one-sided attraction from Shiv. 😊

Edited by avantikasharma1 - 13 years ago

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eshabasuthakur

@eshabasuthakur

Beginner

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: AnjanaYYZ
From his conversation with Daadisa it would appear that he thinks that Anandi has handled her divorce rather well, is not at fault, and carries no negativity towards the institution of marriage or bitterness about the failure of her marriage.

I agree with his assessment, but only to an extent. Yes. Anandi has remained gracious and has retained her faith in Indian culture, tradition, and her elders. But, I don't think she still perceives marriage as positively as Shiv thinks. I don't know how Shiv will react to Daadisa proposing marriage between him and Anandi, but I doubt Anandi will go for it. Her wounds from Jagat are not visible, but they are there. She is just adept at covering them up and has done so to protect the Singhs as well as herself. Whence "remarriage" is suggested to her by Shiv or the Singhs, I think we will see a rather resistant and hesitant Anandi. She may respect Shiv, but she has a lot of self-confidence/image as well as trust issues before she will ever leap into marriage again. She may trust the Singhs, but I don't think she has thought of remarriage at all. Her life is Jaitsar and that is what she has committed herself to. It will take a lot for her to expand her thinking on a more personal level once more and even then... I think she will be reluctant to trust anyone - even Shivraj.

In other words, if Shivraj falls in love with our Anandi... he does so to his own heart's peril!

I agree with you! I think it's easier to be positive and open with regard to other's lives on issues like marriage and divorce that have caused you pain, but to be the same way for yourself again in these matters is NOT easy.

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Ela Singh

@elasingh

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

i aso think Anandi will not accept Shiv so easily. She is not an open person not even with Pholi. All day long she remains with her inlaws and there is no interaction with ppl of her age.. She doesnt cry much, doesnot share her fears with anyone. All wounds are still inside. Shiv does not reaaly know Anandi. I feel very irritated when everytime he says Anadi has a positive approach towards life.

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Suchi-

@Suchi-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

Anandi is positive and has positive approach towards life but that does not mean she is open.

She will resist Shiv. She was married to jagya for 17 years of her life. He has scarred her big time!

Shiv first needs to understand that Anandi is 'THE' girl for him. Once he realizes that and accepts it , then, he needs to slowly break the walls that Anandi has put around her. Its not going to be easy...

Anandi respects shiv but no where in her mind will any such thought even occur about him. But for such thought to occur he has to send signals as well. Or else she will never even think of him in that manner.

Whether she likes it or not thats another point.. but its going to be a sloowww process.

I just hope shiv makes his family understand about Anandi and they want her in their family as well as much as shiv does

Edited by Suchi-Virmanian - 13 years ago

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NoOne12

@NoOne12

Navigator

Posted: 13 years ago

[QUOTE=elasing

What made you think she doesn't have it?

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Shridevi Gaddam

@0-SD-0

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

Its too early for Anandi to get comfy with the idea of re-marriage and new partner. She has doused herself in social welfare activities and that altruism keeps her busy from her private thoughts on deception, hurt and abandonment. Its as if she pushed the hurts to the back of her mind blaming the bal-vivah as cause of it. She needs to deal with the "Jagya ditched her" issues that tug her heart at night and are ever present in her subconscious.

How she will deal with them is

1) She needs to be given time ..which Dadisa is not giving her.

2) She needs to let go of her hurt. She might take this out through her hours spent on work that interests her. The accomplishments that she achieves in this path will melt her in time. All her focussed energy in this direction will then be dispersing itself, forcing her to let other things; not invoked by her, touch her. And at times she needs to vent out her pent up anger and reaction on someone trustworthy. Shiv is being that outlet now.

When my marriage broke, my confidence was badly shaken. It took one year to arrest the falling confidence levels and preserve myself, took another year to bounce back to start registering life around me. I became more and more independent during this time and silently broke all emotional ties with my family members, parents and sibs. Family used to feel the anger in me. They were already giving me time, but my aggression at defending my territory made them get scared of me. Then chance illness of my mom took me back again to parents. By this time my confidence was restored and I had a new outlook on life...thanks to professional pursuits. When with parents, I registered how they had changed and all they wanted was me to be happy again. It forced me to be quiet. Then slowly again getting close to mom, opened our usual mother daughter talks and that slowly paved way to discuss the hurt around my marriage. It took me by surprise..but after the first talk, it was easy topic to talk. This talk was totally different from the earlier time when I was talking only with the aim of getting divorce, an advocacy to break the marriage, whereas 3 years later, I was analyzing my own marriage as a third person. That's when I became quiet normal.

I never was angry with my husband once I decided to leave him. Thank God! I was only angry at myself that I let it all happen to me.

Since Anandi's case is different than mine...here no way she could have blamed herself and yet she doesn't blame Jagya, she blames the situation, the social custom. And just like in my case, she is addressing the issue which she believes as the cause of her unhappiness. Until she wins something in terms of social development, Anandi is not going to let her energy dissipate on anything else. But then Shiv is already expediting her own wishes. He is on the same path that she is treading. So her time of healing is soon going to end.

But I must say, Daadisa should give her time, otherwise Daadisa's own apple-cart will all be broken.

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

I think anandi would have been resistant to yet another arranged marriage (no matter how much she says she trusts the decisions of elders)... but if she knows the person, respects him and trusts him and he too shows an inclination towards her and it is a 'love marriage' I dont think she would have any resistance - and particularly to shiv who is providing her with admiration and compliments all the time ... it has to be a huge change from jagya and his insults and his contempt.

The only resistance I can see in anandi's case is if she had to leave bhairon and sumitra ... and perhaps leave jayetsar... and as shiv has recently been posted in Jaytesar, he will still be in jayetsar if they get married soon ... so she can have a nice 'transitional bridge' of separating from sumitra and bhairon but still living in jayetsar and visiting them every now and then ... and then moving to some other place if he gets transferred.

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Nikita

@nitha

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: Suchi-Virmanian
Anandi is positive and has positive approach towards life but that does not mean she is open.

She will resist Shiv. She was married to jagya for 17 years of her life. He has scarred her big time!

Shiv first needs to understand that Anandi is 'THE' girl for him. Once he realizes that and accepts it , then, he needs to slowly break the walls that Anandi has put around her. Its not going to be easy...

Anandi respects shiv but no where in her mind will any such thought even occur about him. But for such thought to occur he has to send signals as well. Or else she will never even think of him in that manner.

Whether she likes it or not thats another point.. but its going to be a sloowww process.

I just hope shiv makes his family understand about Anandi and they want her in their family as well as much as shiv does

So Shiv should know more and more about Anandi before express his love to her

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Nach_Baliye

@Nach_Baliye

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

#10

Very good points. I think Shiv needs to know that Anandi went through child marriage. Right now he thinks that Anandi got married and her husband left her. He doesn't know she spent 17 years with him. He also needs to find out about Jagya's keeping her in the dark for 5 years, and his demanding property in exchange for divorce, his and Gauri's torture, etc. He will then understand her wounds, empathize with her, and be able to open her up. Unless he finds these things out, he will have no idea of the extent of her pain. A good first step was her yelling at him about the grant - it increased Shiv's understanding of her pain. She needs to yell more at him and take it all out 😆

Anandi needs someone in her life, she has made herself like a stone to keep from being hurt, she cannot spend her life like this. She needs someone more than Shiv needs her. Small things, like wanting intimacy, etc. will help awaken her desire for happiness.

Edited by Nach_Baliye - 13 years ago

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Is Shiv right or wrong about Anandi?

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