Great posts and topic!..I have a disagreement with the age of attaining majority for guys...in terms of marriage 18 is not the age for men to attain majority...it is 21 for men. for men who have gone through child marriage the age to decide you want to change your partner is 21+2=23---not 18, not 21, not 20.
He had been spineless, ignoramus when it came to even a simple internet search of laws, he was insensitive and he lied and cheated--thats what makes him a culprit. But nothing takes away from him the fact that he had all the right in the world to make a choice of his life partner, even after having consummated the marriage at 18. People might say, what is the guarantee that men won't mature till 30/40/50...thats upoto those men ...but majority guys just entering into 18s and 19s, are definitely not mature enough to know exactly who they want to live with. we should start marrying children in that case--because whats the point in delaying anything, when so many of them don't grow up till 40. An eighteen year old, even he sleeps with someone is definitely not grown up enough to know whether he wants to spend his life with that woman or not, no matter whether he matures later or not.
Same way..I know a lot of people..who go to different countries only to study...and decide thats where they want to live. Living at a place of your choice is really not a bad thing in my opinion. Why would social service be everyone's priority?? Why can't people like or dislike anything, unless there is something criminal attached to their likings??
As it was correctly mentioned earlier...Jagya is a culprit of cheating and insensitivity...but thats not what his family seems to really be angry with. They are only angry with the choices he made for himself...how could they never realize that it was their job to give him the freedom to make his choices---a freedom they never gave to him, ? I agree parents do a lot for their child...but how can they forget to give the child due freedom when required?? human parents make lot of sacrifices!...Even birds do; she painstakingly builds a nest for her children...gets twigs for them...teaches her children how to fly...but when the right time come--she pushes the children out of the nest? If she didn't want them why would she do so much for her children-----because its time for the children to get out of shadows. Even birds understand the law of nature, umbilical cord can't be intact forever!...why can't hiumans understand it?? Parents make extra sacrifices for their children, so that one day their OWN dreams are realized through the children--how fair is that?? A life, a soul enters your home...don't snatch his freedom of life from that soul--by placing conditions on your taking care of him-----its like doing business with a little life even before he learns to understand what the parents business terms are all about!...If kids are selfish and manipulative...I will say parents who provide education to their children on the condition of fulfilling their own dreams-such parents too are selfish and manipulative in a way. When those parents get old and cant take care of themselves...children must unconditionally take care of them, but not based on how much the parents invested. love and taking care is unconditional among parents and children--there is no business.
I also agree that the way Jagya has a choice in terms of making his decisions--his father has an equal say in deciding what he wants to financially support him or not, while Jagya is a grown up adult. He is perfectly ok in his place in deciding that part. What is not ok is---forgetting where they went wrong with their own child--how can they completely acquit themselves from not giving ANY freedom of choice to their own son. Probably they went wrong because they didn't know any better given their situation...they never saw that freedom in their own life, but while realizing they took away the freedom of choice from Anandi...how come they never thought for once that they took it away from Jagya too?? Anandi is good , because she chose to suffer...Jagya is bad, because he chose to not suffer?? As per the elders of the Singh family--- Anandi serving memebers of the family...and Jagya staying silent about his choices, while carrying out their wishes would be the BEST THING !!...
I am not absolving Jagya from being a liar, cheat, ignorant and abusive at a point of time. But given everything--when he was 18..he consummated with Anandi...then went to medical college to fall in love with Gauri. His change of heart at this point of time was his fundamental right, as a human and as a citizen. All the lying he did...I am against it...but I am completely not against his decisions--that he should have emphatically exercised, if he was sure of those. At the same time Singh family did wrong with Anandi...they have a right to deny Jagya all the family wealth...but forgetting what wrong they did with Jagya also, is not right...when they pass skewed judgments. They have all the right to condemn Jagya for his wrong doings, but at the same time conveniently ignoring their own approach of denying freedom to their own growing child, using emotional bargains---not fair!...
Edited by hima_123 - 13 years ago
