Right to Abortion - Page 8

Tinoo, I superlike your post. Extremely well said. Thank you for sharing.

Originally posted by: tinoo

Hooked, I think its wonderful that you've adopted this special child. You can tell him that there are two kinds of families -- birth families and heart families (what anandi once referred to as dil ka rishta with her sasural) . And he is special that he is part of a heart family -- you are a parent child match to each other because of the love from your heart.

When he asks why me? Instead of making it seem as if his mother pushed him away, maybe you can reframe it to him that you loved him so much more that you pulled him away. And that his mother loved him so much, that she freed him to become the person whom he was meant to be so that he could get the best opportunities which she herself was not in a position to provide him. .

(Not that she abandoned him type of a thought). But that he's so incredibly special which is why he's one of the chosen few who belongs to a heart family. Any old person can belong to a birth family. Tell your child that he is meant to do special things and big things which the world has not yet even conceived.

Instead of kundfu panda (adorable) and superman and Krishna-- who are fictional and mythological characters, why not tell him about real life adoptees.

Steve Jobs is the most recent adoptee we can talk about -- his birth father was a syrian muslim political science prof (Abdulfattah jandali) who came to the U.S. to study and got into a relationship with an american catholic woman (Joanna scheible)- and the result was she became pregnant. He broke the relationship off with absolutely no consideration for this woman -- and the woman's father did not want her marrying a muslim foreign student.

So, she gave birth and put up the child for adoption at an orphanage.

A couple both 12th standard pass - Paul and clara jobs adopted him -- and brought him up as their own child.

Later on when he turned adult, he did go looking for his biological parents. He met his biological mother twice, but never had any relationship with her. He absolutely refused to meet his biological father.

His biological father angered by his refusal to meet him (awed by the fact that the rich steve jobs was his son) made several attempts to talk to him and gave an interview to the press (quite offensive at the time) saying that steve jobs should meet him, because he is a success now only because of the genes he received from Jandali.

Steve Jobs replied that he believed his success was because of the loving environment that his parents -Paul and Clara jobs had provided him with. And his father was a mechanic and had spent hours with steve as a teenager teaching him the internal workings of things. He had absolutely no feelings for his biological father who said at the time to throw him into an orphanage.

Your child is so lucky that he has the love of a birth mother AND an adopted mother (not instead of the birth mother, but in addition to...). Tell him that his mother wanted him to examine new perspectives in life that came living with you.

Another example, Aristotle too was an adopted child. His father was a physician to the King and wanted him to become a doctor. But his parents passed away when he was three years old. He was put up for adoption then to an orphanage because his relatives were not interested in keeping this child. And he was adopted by another gentleman and his wife who was a disciple to plato ... and sent him to Plato's academy. Aristotle spent 25 years at Plato's academy and became a philosopher... and a much better philosopher than he would have been a doctor perhaps.

So, in one sense, his birth parents freed him up to be the fullness of who he would be.

😃

Abdulfattah John Jandali, is now, at age 80, Vice President of a Nevada casino, so his claiming that Jobs was where he was b'cos of him was beyond self-serving. If Jobs got what he got from him, Jandali too should have started Silicon Valley companies, instead of running a casino.

I agree w/ the above posters on adopting out unwanted babies, like Joanna did for Steve. On the question of what to tell such a child if s/he asks why the birth mom gave him away, one good response would be that she knew that she was in no position to take good care of him, and so she gave him to someone who could.

This reminds me of another Sphere Origins serial Jyoti, where the youngest sister of the protagonist, whose name was Sushma, was recovering from an abusive marriage, her hubby in jail while she was pregnant. Jyoti hadn't allowed her to abort (which I at the time strongly disagreed w/) and Sushma was the butt of jokes in her school, where she was going despite being pregnant. Anyway, one day, a childless rich woman heard about her predicament and offered her a deal where Sushma would adopt out her baby to them once it was born. Sushma agreed to do this, and when she was confronted about it @ home after they found out, she made it clear to them that she wasn't going to put her kid thru hell by people questioning his parentage and all that.

Of course, the CVs totally ruined that track later by reforming Brij and having Sushma re-marry him and then give birth to that baby later, and cancel the plans. That was a hated track in Jyoti, b'cos it just ignored the months of abuse that Brij did to Sushma, and destroyed a perfectly positive track where Sushma was studying to be self-reliant, and adopt out her kid to a willing couple. However, I at the time had arguments w/ posters who thought that birth parents always trump adoptive parents.

I strongly disagreed then, and disagree now. It's indeed tricky for birth parents to know when they may be inadequate in terms of taking care - just b'cos one managed to get oneself knocked up doesn't automatically qualify her for parenthood, or else, every hooker would be a great mother. Those women who recognize that they can't give kids a wholesome environment and give them to parents who can really deserve to be congratulated, instead of criticized for their decision.

And I'd suspect, if not just hope, that most adopted kids would react just like Steve Jobs did - that their adoptive parents are their parents, not their birth parents.

sorry i think i am going off the topic here. please forgive me..

^^^ I agree, except that in case of adopted children, their birth parents are not their parents - by the above description!

Originally posted by: .Vrish.

^^^ I agree, except that in case of adopted children, their birth parents are not their parents - by the above description!

ummm! no what i meant to say is that a parent (mother/father) who will love the child ABOVE their own life is the parent.

and talking about Steve Jobs and his birth father.,,

It was good to be told that Parenting begins after birthing. And that being a parent has got nothing to do with procreating.

hee hee a thought just occured to me. Remeber how on major red lights, u have these beggars come upto your car and tap on your window asking for something to feed the baby in their arms ? Isn't that what Jagya is already doing ? The Baby is not even here - but J is already rubbing his hands with glee thinking how much he can earn from using that kid as his begging bowl 😆

Originally posted by: nimmi_rra

and talking about Steve Jobs and his birth father.,,

well his half sister too turned her back on the father. so may be the father has not earned the right to be termed as Parent😊!..

Am going off-topic but a little information

Mona Simpson is not Steve's half-sister. She is Steve's own sister. Steve's birth parents got married later on and they gave birth to a daughter. They got divorced when the girl was around 4-5. As far as the relationship b/w father and daughter is concerned, I haven't read anything about it... so can't comment on it.

Originally posted by: bips

^^ I agree with you on how men seem to be given the shortchange when it comes to the abortion issue ...

... but is there any other way around it ? If women cannot get pregnant without the male contribution, men also cannot have a child without a woman. So that point is moot ... What to do when one partner wants a child and the other does not ? ... The best a doctor can suggest is counseling . Hopefully one of the partner will understand the other's point of view. Beyond that there is nothing that can be done.

because in the end, its a woman's body that has to nurture the child for nine long months. And a man cannot force a woman to have a child. Once the child is born, once it is out in the world, it is equal rights to both but as long as the child is in the womb, it is all about the woman's choice because it IS her body.

one valid point is being missed here - Gauri was NOT forced to have relationship with J; J did NOT force her to have baby.

Whatever they did, they were both equally responsible, or rather irresponsible and now Gauri is just trying to avoid taking the responsibility of her deed by aborting the child. So when two partners has done something together willingly, then they both should have a say regarding the result and only one should not call all the shots IMO.

If G has to think about her career, she should have thought it before rather than later - only fools act first and then think later. - J's statement that "humne koi planning nehi ki" confirms that there was no planning ;)