Posted:
Tinoo, I superlike your post. Extremely well said. Thank you for sharing.
Hooked, I think its wonderful that you've adopted this special child. You can tell him that there are two kinds of families -- birth families and heart families (what anandi once referred to as dil ka rishta with her sasural) . And he is special that he is part of a heart family -- you are a parent child match to each other because of the love from your heart.When he asks why me? Instead of making it seem as if his mother pushed him away, maybe you can reframe it to him that you loved him so much more that you pulled him away. And that his mother loved him so much, that she freed him to become the person whom he was meant to be so that he could get the best opportunities which she herself was not in a position to provide him. .(Not that she abandoned him type of a thought). But that he's so incredibly special which is why he's one of the chosen few who belongs to a heart family. Any old person can belong to a birth family. Tell your child that he is meant to do special things and big things which the world has not yet even conceived.Instead of kundfu panda (adorable) and superman and Krishna-- who are fictional and mythological characters, why not tell him about real life adoptees.Steve Jobs is the most recent adoptee we can talk about -- his birth father was a syrian muslim political science prof (Abdulfattah jandali) who came to the U.S. to study and got into a relationship with an american catholic woman (Joanna scheible)- and the result was she became pregnant. He broke the relationship off with absolutely no consideration for this woman -- and the woman's father did not want her marrying a muslim foreign student.So, she gave birth and put up the child for adoption at an orphanage.A couple both 12th standard pass - Paul and clara jobs adopted him -- and brought him up as their own child.Later on when he turned adult, he did go looking for his biological parents. He met his biological mother twice, but never had any relationship with her. He absolutely refused to meet his biological father.His biological father angered by his refusal to meet him (awed by the fact that the rich steve jobs was his son) made several attempts to talk to him and gave an interview to the press (quite offensive at the time) saying that steve jobs should meet him, because he is a success now only because of the genes he received from Jandali.Steve Jobs replied that he believed his success was because of the loving environment that his parents -Paul and Clara jobs had provided him with. And his father was a mechanic and had spent hours with steve as a teenager teaching him the internal workings of things. He had absolutely no feelings for his biological father who said at the time to throw him into an orphanage.Your child is so lucky that he has the love of a birth mother AND an adopted mother (not instead of the birth mother, but in addition to...). Tell him that his mother wanted him to examine new perspectives in life that came living with you.Another example, Aristotle too was an adopted child. His father was a physician to the King and wanted him to become a doctor. But his parents passed away when he was three years old. He was put up for adoption then to an orphanage because his relatives were not interested in keeping this child. And he was adopted by another gentleman and his wife who was a disciple to plato ... and sent him to Plato's academy. Aristotle spent 25 years at Plato's academy and became a philosopher... and a much better philosopher than he would have been a doctor perhaps.So, in one sense, his birth parents freed him up to be the fullness of who he would be.😃
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
