Why should anandi call Jagya? - Page 3

Because when some one hurts you and that person is the one whom you loved a lot , then its very hard to forgive that person.

and if she still loves him , that shows her weakness.

I am glad that BV is not showing that Anandi has moved on right away and is totally dandy candy about things.

or as if to show that she is this Macho someone and a perfect person , she is NOT.

She still loves him and thats that. She has no control of what her heart yearns for , but she does have control over exercising what her heart yearns for. She is not fighting for J but to ask her to remove the very thoughts of him from her heart is impossible , atleast as of now.

Time will heal

It just shows that she is human and imperfect. And its a fact that she is still in love with a man she wants to hate and wants not to forgive.

@Annika20

I guess you misinterpreted my "no bad truama" i meant it in a way that for Anandi , J has been her everythin for more than 20yrs, he has been her love , at some pt her biggest supporter, heck she laid her lyf for him so knowing that level of emotional baggage, it is impossible for a woman who unlike us have a good stanging from society, who lacks financal support, who doesnt have a lyf outside the four walls of that haveli, to snub him completely. She loved hm, n a strange way he will alwayz be der in her memories, u cannot cut of the past , it was commendable that she didnt break down hearing his voice, that pause was significant , it was her way of composing herself. Now-adays, it is easier for sum of us to say frnz after divorce or lets be cordial with our exes, but what Anandi did was an attempt at that numbness that ndifference, it will come only gradually.

I agree she needs to step out from the shadows of her inlaws, if not physically, more emotionally and financially, hence i suggested she take up a regular upstanding job. She is now a daughter of that house, so cannot cut them off but can utlize their support to be dependent in many other ways.

We all hope for that magic make over, city lyk personality but is that what anadi wants, i dont thnk she wants to uproot her personality she just wants to explore it. If social service is the medium that gives her a chance to voice her opnion, that so be it, is t becoz of of Jagat then m grateful to it. As long as she comes in contact with outside world her evolution will contnue.

Well , whatever the family does to JG shouldnt concern her once she is ndependent enough, heck if they live in the haveli again, or do hatever, they have already indirectly given her a gift of freedom.

Am not denying the awkward conversation nor m asking for a lets be frnz exes, all am sayin is this is baby steps for her numbness towards him,

See , u cannot write off or expect so many things for her ryt away, i understand your frustration with her, even felt it earlier, but u n I and ny others in this foru r exposed to a world which is n complete contrast with hers. Give her tym , let the journey unfold, v all have our answers But asking her two drnk water from J's feet is a bit harsh.

About your point regarding Social work.

I am not sure if you have watched the episodes about

Phulli , gulli , fighting for their rights?

about starting up a school

and about her going to BHairav when she was young to get the police man punished for forcing kids to do child labor.

=====

she has NEVER backed down and if you say that WHY she is taking help from bhairav and not doing things on her own. She is not ready yet to do that because she has no financial out source , Once she gets on her feet she will have that and def. not depend on them.

They are not crutches, they are her emotional support. Anandi IS NOT crippled just because she is in love with a man she has loved for 16 years of her life. And all of a sudden in few months now just because we as audience feel that she should dump him, and because she is not able to dump him from her heart , she is incapable of proceeding with her dreams.

Sorry , she is nothing like that.

IF an educated idiot and foolish girl like gauri can fall in love with a slime ball like Jagat and is UNABLE to let go of him despite her exposure, then what about a village girl who has been taught that her husband is the first letter and last letter of her life. HOW and WHY is she expected to be this miracle girl , capable of not having an iota of emotional range and holding on to what she held on to more than 16 years of her life/

I say thats not fair

I say thats injustice.

When she is doing what ever she can in her hands to move ahead ,

I say giving time is justice

I say understanding her POV is fair.

@Suchi

I agree with charminggenie , that was a bit harsh.

She did not fall on hisfeet and cry 'oh my dear swami, please do not go. Have as many girls as you want on your bed but also be with me?!'

There are women who know that their husbands beat them up, drink, abuse Physically and verbally, Hit them black and blue and YET they go back to the same person every time.

Its called the Battered wife syndrome. These women are exposed to abuse soo long that they are willing to take excuses and even make exucses for such men just to be with them. Is it their fault? NO they have been conditioned as such.

Though Anandi is not going through such syndrome, it has a slight shade of it on her as she has been conditioned to always forgive, forget, move on, love, respect her husband for 16 years of her LIFE. So much so that she was ready to give up her life for him. So How canshe be expected to spit on that slime ball's face in few months. I mean I would LOVE it but she can't and I understand that.


Secondly WHY and WHY should not take help from Bhairav and co.?

Hec ya I say Go Anandi, take all teh support you can adn I have always sided with her in staying at the haveli and NOt going back to her parents. Because

a) she was practically raised there
b) she needs to be there as a comfort for those parents who have given up their son for her
c) she needs to take all the financial support she can get as its her RIGHT not that they are doing some favor on her. Its good that they are doing it out of love or else the courts say the same thing.

So I rather want her to stay there. BHago and Khajan gave her up for selling many many years back so their punishment is to watch their girl suffer the life of a lone woman ( I know she will emerge out of it) but that guilt they have to live with their entire life.

And Bhairav and Co. have to watch this girl and support her who's life they ruined.

Its their responsibility. It ties in well and I am fully in support of her.

But thats just it Annika.. she has NOT moved on adn she has said so herself.

If she would have said I do not love jagya any more. I have no feelings for him and I do not forgive him I understand.

I will agree with you

but she said I love Jagya, I have feelings for him and I will not forgive him for what he did That makes more sense to me.

as she will not forgive jagya for what he did to her but, she is still in love with that man , hopelessly , and thats her weakness and human part.

she is not some perfect being . She is human

Jagya now knows he wont get ny money if he divorces A isiliye he will be brainwashing G saying "talak ka khayal apne mann se nikal do"

@Cutie

Originally posted by: annika20

@Cutie

Why are you misunderstanding me? Okay my last line about charnamrit was harsh. But I am not saying she should spit on Jagya's face! I don't want her to take revenge!😲

I only said she was not being indifferent or unfeeling. There was hint of emotional attachment. It was very much there! And she indirectly acted as connecting link between him and family by updating him about his family!

I know about her conditioning. I had actually written a whole new thread about that when I first joined this forum!

But she's not getting up, not exactly trying to get out of that conditioning. How does she claim to set right the conditioning of others by trying to educate them when she herself is under the effects of conditioning?? That's what I and Vasuja are saying!

She did not go fully numb, but she did go numb for a while. It is however positive that she held herself from crying or sugary sweet. Still she overdid things. Email or SMS could have been goodenough. Basically even that was not needed. Just do your duty quietly. He can call if he doesn't get money!

I see your reasons for support of Singh family. And I think practically she will derive more benefit from them since they have more resources and influence to help her achieve her dreams. To be brutally honest, I also think she is staying with them because if she stays in her maayka, then her parents will have to face taaney from society in their village, ki ladki ki shaadi toot gayi, inki ladki ghar aa kar baith gayi...bechaare chhori ke maa-baap etc. She wants to protect her parents from that backlash and ensures they don't have to face the crap! Singh family won't have to face much, because basically people can only whisper behind their backs but NEVER dare to say a word to them or openly challenge them!

But I maintain their support and sacrifice of their son will always make her feel indebted to them. At some point she might even feel guilty that due to her they are not in touch with their son. It's very much the CVs way of keeping Singh family in focus and leaving channels open for J-G's re-entry and even acceptance. Who knows? They might even show J splitting up with G and then try to show him getting back to A? [I hope it never happens!]

That house, those people will always remind her of her attachment to them and the basic reason why she ever got attached to them.

I believe the support of Singh family is both liberating as well as emotionally debilitating for her. It will give her liberty, but it will also burden her with emotional debt!

It's not all 100% good or totally liberating for her. It will leave room for some good for her gunhegaars too! I bet she will have them accept J-G someday! I am sure about it!

The CVs are basically keeping everyone in the picture. J-G's troubles are there, but they are absolved of troubles and charges pretty sooner than they think. J is very much connected to family, no matter if they are not talking to him. He has no REAL trouble because he's getting things easily. No one has had to tolerate as much and pay a price as Anandi had to. Eventually in this serial, everyone will get to have their own way. J-G will be together, without much ado. Anandi will be educated or not it is not known (they are not getting her admitted despite Shyam suggesting a course in social work). But she'll get to do her social work and get support from family. All issues will be resolved as if there was never any issue in the first place!

It was just a matter of educating everyone and changing partners!

@Annika,


I get the cynicism you have fro this situation, she is "on the path of that completely indifference" it will have few roadblocks or stones, she will fumble, and that is goin to be her journey. She has loved Jagat and somewhere she is still , to go from here to completely non-existance is way long. It's difficult for a normal grl who had a lon tym fling in a city to do it so it will be harder for Anandi, her call can be act of politeness or just as you say her sub-concious feelings, what is important is that she hasnt and will not act upon it. She has stopped shedding tears over it, 1st sign of emotional recovery.

2nd, her not leaving the family, well y should she her parents are ill-equiped in providing her a platform for growth , they mght push for her 2nd marriage knowing ho emotionally fragile Bhagu is, as far as the taunts are concerned , the whole village knows it , there was an epi where some ladies around a well were speaking behind the back, if they can come to the haveli so all that has been done , hence she is not tryin to shut those voices, she knows they r goin to talk and it wont affect her. Singh family like her own parents r culprits of BV but they r tryin to repair her lyf giving her so much freedom and status of daughter , i think it is an eye-opener for many inlaws families of this country who shun their daughter-inlaws and side with their slimeball sons.

As far as JG coming back, or repenting crawling back to the haveli well y should it matter then to Anandi by then she would have recovered fully and have her own lyf and free to do what she wants, if she is the 1 bringing them bck to the haveli well , v will see then , but i believe even then it will b after she has reached her goals and is ready to leave the place and move on with someone lse.

Yes support can be a dependence, but as long as Anandi enjoys her own emotional, physica and financial freedom , singh family's love is most welcome and important.

As far as Jagat's punishment is concerned ryt now both of them r living in a bubble, his humiliation by lawyer was just 1st of many , i trust he has many more on his path.

after 3yrs of dilly dallying this serial is back on its feat, let it take strides and see how it goes. If it manges to chance few perceptions in rural as well as in cities good for society.