How could Gauri have verified the truth?

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

I am not a gauri supporter and make that clear upfront.

Jagya told her that he will never go back to anandi and never loved her. She believed him.

People on the forum say that she should have checked his background instead of wildly believing him.

I am just curious how this background could have been verified? (I mean whom could she have asked about Jagya's love for anandi or his intention to never return to her)

What steps can one take in this situation to verify statements?

Edited by tinoo - 14 years ago

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Blukitten

@Blukitten

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

By coming to haveli and declaring their intention of getting married rather than coming for aashirvad...same drama wld have followed but she wld know the truth before actual marriage so her trauma wld have been less. Background checking is not so difficult ppl do tht for arranged marriage as well...just few intractions with family members wld have revealed the truth.

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357496

Suspended

Posted: 14 years ago

She could have easily gone to the haveli and try to knwo through everyone whether J ever loved A or not. Lal singh J's friend after knowing the truth she could have gone to him to know the truth, the villagers they too must be knowing something about J and A's relationship. there are so many ways to verify that.

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Missesha

@Missesha

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

I think Gauri could have done a lot before marrying Jagya

1) Gauri was once married to jagya and she had a fair idea of what the family is like, and who Anandi is, and that previoulsy the family dumped Gauri because A was their beendni, so what makes G think, the family will accepte her now?

2) Jagya told G that he was abandoned by his family, this should have alarmed Guari.

3) She knew Lal singh and could have taken his support

4) She could have discussed this issue with bade papa and asked for guidance

and above all, how do you really trust a guy who has lied to you for 5 years and has been in a marital relationship for 16 years?

I mean any girl who is place of Guari could think through all this, then why didn't she? She need not do any ref check, there were enough evidences for her to reject J

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hppppp

@hppppp

Inactive

Posted: 14 years ago

In regressive mode...everyone could have done things differently, including Bhairav--he could have stood up against child marriage of his own child as if two dolls were being married...but he didn't, because in his circumstances he felt it was ok.

Gauri could have verified truth about Jagya and Anandi too...but how? I don't think in villages there is so much of a concept of "background checking". What else she could have done? Gone to her in-laws place..? For a married bahu, it is easy to approach a family...compared to an unmarried girl friend, who knows she is already unwanted. What would she say..."Hi there! I am your son's girl friend. BTW whats up between him and his ex?..."...and that too when Jagya had told her the truth. She could have completely thrown Jagya out of her life, but how do people easily throw out someone they love? I know many poeple who give their loved one a chance to clarify his stance...

One thing I feel sh should have genuinely done...opened internet and googled the legalities of child marriage...and confirmed it with Jagya. Which is so dumb...if she never did an internet search also that too for her own marriage. Infact its so stupid of creatives to imagine any educated+inquisitive woman wouldn't do a simple internet search too on laws...how dumb is that, I mean on the script writer's part!

No offense to those who feel Gauri is the main culprit as per story...I feel she is a victim too..who has gone desperate now for acceptance...God knows why, when she can move out from there and continue her MS.

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Suchi-

@Suchi-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

I do not think anyone here thinks Gauri is the main culprit. Even the most craziest of Anandi's fans , do not think that.

As of your point about how its not easy for an unmarried girl to go to her honay wala sasural and find out. Well what was gauri doing there in the first place.

Didn't she go to Jagat's home trying to explain to his parents about their relationship because, they had stopped the money.

Now Gauri thought that she could try and explain them about them , so that they can stop doing that to their son.

So if an unmarried girl (gauri) can go to clear up understandings of her lover's family and try to explain to his parents

then I think a cheated gauri (for 5 years) after coming to know the truth about his 16 years of marriage should have gone again to find out the reality.

=====

She wanted acceptance and her void , and her weakness - of wanting to be accepted , forced her to get married to jagya.

The Gauri we know is not this girl. She changed the moment, her weakness got the better of her.

====

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Nisha

@KyunkiImafan

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

Well What could Gauri have done...lets see

First thing...when J, G's so called bf was thrown out from his family and all the financial support was shut off...a sensible girl would want to try to find out why when her so call bf would not give straight answers.

Secondly...a guy who can't answer any of your questions and keeps running around the bushes...any sensible girl would feel strange and would want to know why! Gauri kept up with all for 5 years!!!

3rd- I agree with Suchi, that if a girl can go to haveli for the so called injustice done to her bf then she sure could go there once again and at least find out from villagers the story of J...she could have easily found out that A did all to send J to become a doctor...and how A has saved J's life...and how A is the loved beendni and etc no need to go to haveli also...

4th - Hima - agree she could have easily google it...i mean for god sake she was marrying a married man...it didnt matter if he loved her or not...he WAS married!!

5th - She could have forced J before declaring that she will marry him to tell her J-A been married for 16 yrs...should they try to sort out things first and then get married...

and waise bhi its said na...where theres a will theres a way...she could have found out if she wanted to but she was so desperate for acceptance from the family that rejected her that all her sense was lost

And no G isnt the main culprit but she is one of them as she herself dig her own grave... and J is and will be THE CULPRIT...and nothing will change that

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hppppp

@hppppp

Inactive

Posted: 14 years ago

😆And its a very stupid question I feel often lingers in my mind...but damn there are just too many questions that spring when I see any social response on just anything😆----

Its like a common thing to say to or about a woman, say who'z married a man already "Kaisi aurat hai...ek aurat ho kar doosri aurat kaa ghar ujaad diyaa?"...

But say a man married an already married woman ...I mean even if people kill that man in the name of honor killing., no body really says to him the same dialogue, which is so common for woman----- "Kaisa aadmi hai? Ek aadmi ho kar doosre aadmi kaa ghar ujaad diyaa?"...I mean even if the man in slaughtered for izzat atleast his "aadmi-hood" is not questioned, like every things is a question about "aurat-hood" for women...!!

..I guess perhaps its like "ghar ujadnaa" happens exclusively to women when her husband leaves her...and if a man's wife leaves him--its like "ghar ki izzat" that gets uchhaalofied, but his "ghar" doesn't really get "ujaadofied" !! Thanks for reading my rant😳...I just find all these differences amusing...

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BTW..I still feel, it is weird for the unmarried girl...to go AGAIN into an haveli(where NOW she is already known as his girlfriend, and is quite unaccepted too! ) AS a girlfriend...and ask about Jagya's existing level of intimacy with Anandi?? And how many women will go and ask.."BTW had the previous wife done any sacrifices, so that I can give a second thought to marriage keeping her sacrifices in consideration?

I still say...she didn;t even do an internet google search on the marriage laws...looks stupid to me, more stupid on the part of creatives...because it is close to impossible any educated one wouldn't do that in present age !

Edited by hima_123 - 14 years ago

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

Originally posted by: hima_123

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BTW..I still feel, it is weird for the unmarried girl...to go AGAIN into an haveli(where NOW she is already known as his girlfriend, and is quite unaccepted too! ) AS a girlfriend...and ask about Jagya's existing level of intimacy with Anandi?? And how many women will go and ask.."BTW had the previous wife done any sacrifices, so that I can give a second thought to marriage keeping her sacrifices in consideration?

Yes, this is what I was feeling which triggered off the question i asked in the first place.

She knew that she was getting married to a married man. Agreed And she knew Jagya was a liar. Agreed.

But even given that situation of marrying a married liar,

The concept of going and asking "how intimate is Jagya with Anandi? Have they consummated the marriage after coming of age? Has she had any bullets in her head for Jagya" would not have been easy to verify.

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Nisha

@KyunkiImafan

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: tinoo
Yes, this is what I was feeling which triggered off the question i asked in the first place.
She knew that she was getting married to a married man. Agreed And she knew Jagya was a liar. Agreed.

But even given that situation of marrying a married liar,

The concept of going and asking "how intimate is Jagya with Anandi? Have they consummated the marriage after coming of age? Has she had any bullets in her head for Jagya" would not have been easy to verify.

Tinoo its not about finding out how "intimate" your bf was to his first wife. Its about finding out why would his family disowned him. As I explained in my post...she could have easily talked with random ppl in village...no need to disclose her identity. She can find out by saying, Aapke gav mei koi daacter nahi hai? they would have said badi haveli ka ladesaar is studying in Mumbai for mbbs. then from there on conversation can be started and she can know lot of things! No need to confront anyone or disclose anything or meet Haveli ppl. And at least after knowing all of these info she could have waited for some time to marry J no need to marry overnight! Forget about intimacy or love, she would have understood that Anandi has always been there for J so at least she could have not ruined an innocent's life overnight...wait kar leti thodi jasoosi kar leti!

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How could Gauri have verified the truth?

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