How could Gauri have verified the truth? - Page 5

Originally posted by: woman11

Questions like--------why did his first marriage break?

Who knew that the first marriage broke apart from Anandi...Jagya??,,So who should she have gone to find it out ??
She should have asked Jagya and then applied her own logical assessment over and over again . Since Jagya blamed it on Anandi's gawarpan, he would have presented that excuse too (since that's what he told all his family). For any sensible girl, it's enough to question a man's character if he claims to abandon his wife just because she is not modern enough or up to the mark.

applied her own logical assessment???so you're agreeing that this point, she couldn't have verified with the villagers!

Did he do anything to his wife? What is the state of the wife now?

Like left his wife...!! How many people in real life think what is the state of someone's ex!!
I know people in real life who finds out what happens to the ex, because that's precisely where the answer to the future life lies. Has the first wife completely moved on? Is there a chance my husband might be in touch with her or contact her? The point is not what Jagya is doing, the point is did Gauri even spare a thought for these questions? And of course, researching on the legality of the marriage is topmost priority.

I know many people too in real life, prefer not to find out the ex...see whats the ex upto etc etc. I have also maintained finding about the legality was important though.

What kind of person is this man I am planning to spend my whole life with? Is he trustworthy even after lying to me for 5 years?

Who should she have gone to ask how "trustworthy" Jagya is?? She was the one who spent 5 years with him...and now she knew everything what was hidden behind the closet too!...Now who else could have confirmed his trustworthiness----the villagers??
She should have herself tested Jagya for more time. The Jagat she trusted had failed in his trust test, so should she have waited to reconfirm her belief in Jagya instead to going ahead with the untrustworthy Jagya. If your trust in something is shaken you dnt trust that thing instantly again, something needs to happen to reassure you of that trust again.

Herself tested Jagya for more time? So you agree again, that she could verify this factor too externally...!!

.where in the college, while doing MS?..where she might have spent another 2 years the way she spent last 5 years with him. How else?

Why has the family disowned him?

He told her the family didn't approve of his relation with her! what next?
That is again relying on untrustworthy Jagya. It needs critical thinking to understand why a family, that too in a patriarchal, rural India disowns their own son to support the daughter in law. Surely it is something very serious and cannot be resolved by just landing there for ashirwaad. The elders like bade papa could have advised her against such situations and the dangers of stepping into one.

In patriarchal societies people who don't follow elders instructions are more prone to be disowned. Plus, how could she simply walk in there...and what new she could have discovered??

Is he financially secure?-----

He is an MBBS doctor...who has possibly been selected for an MS!She knew it better than her sources of information

Then why the financial crisis now? Shouldn't she have asked Jagya now that your funds have stopped, how are you planning to meet the expenses?
For the short run, I think her expenses aren't a problem...I assume all professionals accepted into a medical MS program are eligible for loans...its Jagya who thinks there are "better" options like begging than taking a loan...for the long run, I'd say two selected medical MS students are supposed to be considered settled.

----are common questions that every girl should ask before marriage. And I think bade papa could have helped her come to decisions about these issues.

She knew the answers better than Bade papa...I'd still maintain Bade papa might have advised her to google out legalities of marriage...😆
I still think if these discussion had taken place in front of Bade papa, he could have guided G better. There's a reason why the father of the bride talks to the groom/boyfriend before marriage. For they as experienced men can identify problems in the potential groom that the daughter might overlook in love.

Anyway, i think we have argued enough. We have different points of views that will never match, so just lets agree to disagree. 😃

------------------------------------

Originally posted by: parri814

One more point to consider if we are going to talk about ex spouses in general is this:

Normally one wouldn't feel the need to investigate a potential life partner and verify his relationship with his ex if he was honest about his marital status from day one.

In this context, Jagya was dishonest not once but consistently for FIVE YEARS. This in itself is reason enough to not blindly believe his every word.

Gauri had many routes to clarify, reason or satisfy her doubts before plunging into a hasty marriage. Purely my perception.

Originally posted by: KyunkiImafan

Antara, Ankit and Pari...good points...saved me from typing so much 😆

What I don't understand is...how is Anandi J's ex!!

Usually - in gf/bf relationships when the relationship breaks they become ex!

IN MARRIAGE - one can only become EX after divorce..not just by telling someone else that I don't love my wife so thats why she is my EX!!!

I mean if that was the case...hell there would be more EXs around in the world than married ppl...! 😆 Cause everyone feels out of love with their partner kabhi na kabhi for few hour/day/days/week etc to uska matlab their wife/hubby is a EX and they are permitted to go and get a new partner? 👏

And forget about HOW...if she wanted to find out...She could have. Woh AAJ ki ladki hai na...to phir! I mean please aaj ki ladkiya itni bhi dumb nahi hoti...jo apne hi pairo pe bar bar khuhadi mare! At least I like to believe this 😳

Originally posted by: sadiltl

Pretty interesting discussion.

but we have to remember that one should be in a good mental condition to do what you all suggested. if you recollect gauri was already mentally down after knowing the truth. she keeps remembering the rejection faced by her. atleast this is what CVs emphasized. so, when jagya proposed to marry her, she accepted and believed his words thinking that she can prove to everyone that she is indeed not rejected. generally people who think negatively will always take decisions in haste. and that is what happened with gauri. she is not in the proper state to think about the wrong that is going to happen to her.

now as a result she is in much more trauma. i think the story is going in "arth" way as somebody pointed out. she is full of guilt and sumitra added fuel to it. she is going to torture jagya like hell and this makes jagya suffer and finally realize what he has done to anandi.

if you listen to sumitra's words, it is beaconing what is going to happen in future episodes.

Ok Hima. I will try to answer what Gauri should have found out about Jagya's ex. This is purely for time passing... :-)

I am talking as Gowri. 😊

1) Why is ex still living with Jagat's family? Even if Jagya loves me 100%, after I get married don't I feel odd to go to sasural with ex being in the same household. 😕😕

2) Will the ex ever move out from sasra? 😲 Or do I have to deal with her all my life? 😭

3) What will happen when we have kids? Will she be still there? What will I introduce her as to my kids?

4) Jagya since your family has deserted you, have you also deserted them? - This is to make sure that item 3 don't happen. 😃

5) Jagya keeps telling that he and Anandi were friends. Was Anandi his best friend too? Do I love Jagya enough so that I can trust J and A being friends?