Originally posted by: woman11
@doyelpakhi:
What would you call an arranged marriage in which the guy marries a girl of his parents' choice and then later falls in love with someone else? Will that be called an infidelity? Or just asserting a choice? Should have guy go through a proper procedure of divorce or just break up over phone? If that is justified then 90% of Indian men have the right to walk out of their marriages without being apologetic to their wives!!
Jagya is not called infidel because he played happy husband with Anandi at the age of 18/19. He is an infidel because when he was 20-21-22-23-24 he was still playing husband to Anandi and romancing Gauri at the same time. An 18 year old boy may not know the meaning of marriage but if a 20+ year man doesn't understand what it means to be married and still decides to keep his wife in dark and then justify his actions as a victim of child marriage, then there is certainly some problem.
The clause of annulling child marriage within 2 years after attaining adulthood in PCMA 2006 is not there without any reason----the assumption is a guy between 21-23 is old enough and mature enough to understand whether he wants to carry on with his child marriage or not. If he still carries on with his marriage after 23, then he is responsible for it. If he gets a second wife, it's bigamy.
I total agree with you and to add to it, Nobody is bashing Jagya for realising or falling in love with another woman while his is married. We are mad at Jagya for his stupid steps towards his choice!
Even if Anandi and Jagya were not married, After every thing Anandi did to him he when ahead and destroyed her life without thinking twice was not acceptable.
Anandi and Jagya may not know what marriage was about when they got married but at 20 they 18 they know everythng about it...remember that even as kids in their little fights and jokesthey say out their duties and responsibilities.
The right thing for Jagya to do was. If Jagya later found out in Mumbai that he never loved Anandi, (he was just being a husband not a lover). the best thing to do was not to start dating someone else and call Anandi stupid names.
The best thing is call Anandi, Ask her what her dreams are, does she still wants to go to school? am sure the answer is yes!
Then since you are responsible for her happiness. Fight for her right to get educated. Tell, her that both of need to take control to your future by helping each other. So for now, before they figure out things...you want her to be your best friend, someone you can talk to/ tell her the child marriage was wrong. so its best for both of you to work together in taking your futures. Make her know how much you appreciate her sacrifices.
move to Mumbai together for school. both of you will be busy helping each other as friends. If that love comes along. Talk to her! tell her there is this girl that you are starting to have feeling for...(iknow she will be bumd!!!) but some how help her get over it gently. ask her for help in going about it. It will hurt her especially if she has falling in love with you, but you have done your best. And with the new environment she too may find love and be happy.
But Jagya was looking for a way to get out without even think of what will happen to a girl who is even responsible for eveything he is today...i mean who does that? i wouldn't even what to treat my enemy the way jagya treated Anandi.
