Is parents approval necessary - Page 2

The way he went about doing this whole drama is what i found disgusting😡-he is a very weak individual who has to get what he wants-right or wrong just doesnt matter😲-what jagya wants jagya gets -THAT'S IT...

i would never do that, but hey thats what i am saying today, kal kyaa hoga , kaisi situations hogi kise pataa, i can never guess what i would do in that situation, i beleive in adapting as the situation demands.aak mujhse poocho toh i would tell my parents abt it, would fight till i gain my parents approval, but if they dont give it, i dont know what i would do, may be i would go against them or accept their no depending on how much i am crazy for that girl , get it
and may be i wont do it but there r lots who do it, i cant say that they r bad ppl
, main sochta hoon theek hain inki marzi,
it very easy to be so unbiased sitting here while commenting on some fictional characters
no one is a saint ,its very easy to be here in these forums, i am very glad that i am not, main kaisa bhi hoon i have been very honest here
everyone has to do some compromise, some adjustments ,in life,
just a qs ankit, u could have made this post in ut forum too, naa when veecha did their secret shaadi, then everyone was supporting it incl me, lekin yahaan problem hain,
jabki yahaan inki secret shaadi ek tarah se thi hi nahin, jagya had clearly told who he wants to marry and gauri ne toh parents ki approval le li thi
even jagya tried to convince his mom, pleaded with her , mujhe samjho but with no results

I think with the case of uttaran the other half of the equation who was Tapasya was to a certain extent a negative character and we knew that the reason that the family were against the marriage was due to some misunderstanding in regards to Iccha, Veer and Tapasya, once that was all cleared up, Iccha was accepted as the Bahu. I think if these were cleared up in the beginning then again the family would not have objected to the marriage of Veer and Icccha. In the case of their first marriages, Veer actually didnt know who he married until after the wedding, he was under the impression that he was marrying Iccha, also Iccha married the older brother (cant remember his name) because of the insistant of family and also because she thought that Veer would be able to move on with his life once he finds out that she has married someone else.

In the case of Veer and Iccha their marriage was intially accepted in the first stages (before the marriage to tapasya and the older brother) so they got married because they knew once the misudnerstanding were cleared, just like intially how their relationship was accepted this too will be accepted. So to me it wasnt like they were going against their family, but rather they wanted to clear the doubts and misunderstanding, and because they loved each other from the beginning, without there being any lies etc. Although i do admit i think i would have liked it more if they informed the family and cleared the mins understandings beforehand.

Now i know that Jagat and Gauri's child marriage was accepted in the young stages, but only by DS that parents were totally against the marriage from the beginning and even now, there was no instance in their lives where they wanted Jagat to be married to Gudiya/Gauri

lllyria his name was vanch 😉

Originally posted by: intruderfast

i would never do that, but hey thats what i am saying today, kal kyaa hoga , kaisi situations hogi kise pataa, i can never guess what i would do in that situation, i beleive in adapting as the situation demands.aak mujhse poocho toh i would tell my parents abt it, would fight till i gain my parents approval, but if they dont give it, i dont know what i would do, may be i would go against them or accept their no depending on how much i am crazy for that girl , get it[BR]and may be i wont do it but there r lots who do it, i cant say that they r bad ppl[BR], main sochta hoon theek hain inki marzi, [BR]it very easy to be so unbiased sitting here while commenting on some fictional characters[BR]no one is a saint ,its very easy to be here in these forums, i am very glad that i am not, main kaisa bhi hoon i have been very honest here[BR]everyone has to do some compromise, some adjustments ,in life, [BR]just a qs ankit, u could have made this post in ut forum too, naa when veecha did their secret shaadi, then everyone was supporting it incl me, lekin yahaan problem hain,[BR]jabki yahaan inki secret shaadi ek tarah se thi hi nahin, jagya had clearly told who he wants to marry and gauri ne toh parents ki approval le li thi[BR]even jagya tried to convince his mom, pleaded with her , mujhe samjho but with no results[BR]

Anmol it was not relevant to bring the UT things here tht if I wd hv posted the same there. U believe or not if the situation wd hv same, I wd hv posted there too, becoz my post is not influence by my personal liking of actors or their chemistry, but only wht I feel rit and wrong. In UT veer was sufferer and he was cheated by a evil person, so he hd full rit to correct this cheating. Here J himself is a cheater, so he deserve criticism. U too supported Ichchha in UT, who is 10 time more dumb thn A, but here u hv problem with A and doubting the honesty of who criticize JAGO. I was against the dumbness of Ichchha and evilness of Tapu there too and against the J and G wrong doing (according to me) here too. Secondly if u read my post I hv divided parents in two category. I can't say tht u can put Mai in same category with Jogia parents, who used to treat both his son as property and do always emotional blackmailing. Its also not necessary tht I wd hv behave the same way in tht situation but I rit wht I sd hv. If I can't sing well it dosnt mean tht I sd appreciate any besura singer. I hv also mentioned tht if ur parents wd not agree after ur all try and patience thn u hv two choice and I didn't told tht either is bad but personally I wd hv preferred second one. In J situation and with J like parents I m absolutely convinced tht I wd hv acted as I hv written.

👏👏👏👏👏Great post Ankit

Originally posted by: sree.m

Very beautifully written Ankit. I feel sorry for those unfortunate parents whose kids choose thier selfishness over them. In the western world a student pursues higher education at his own expense raising a personal loan. They have thousand of dollars to repay even before they start their lives. It is really fortunate to have Indian parents who take care of every need of their children including raising personal loans for the higher education of their children & make them fully independent in their lives. No child who truly loves his parent would never ever do anything to give them pain for all the sacrifices and pain they take to make him/her what they are.

hmm , when veer took that decision , it was named smart move, i also said that, i supported that, infact no family members knew abt that marriege , still i never saw any objection there😊
oh j is a cheater, but he told abt his decision of marrying g, , his parents did not like it though he tried to convince them , so he gave up, simple, u think he did wrong, i dont ,
he had to choose between gauri and his parents, he choose gauri, uski marzi
he had broken his relationship with a and then tied the knot with gauri,so i dont think he commited a blunder here
reg the aashirwaad business, they r trying , they r perfectly aweare that family memebers might not accept,so ok they willk go back if they dont approve, dadisa has asked them to stay there, thats why they r staying , zabardasti nahin reh rahe hain koshish karne mein koi buraai nahin,

great post ankit, i absolutely agree with you and respect you as a human being. I share the same views too---my parents have been my greatest support and have sacrificed a lot for their children, I cannot even think of hurting them or going against the values they have taught me.

Having said that, I think Jagya's case is not comparable with any other love marriage. Many people are tempted to call Jagya's marrriage as similar to those people who go against their parents' wishes to marry a girl. But in Jagya's case there are fundamental differences----

1) Many parents who oppose the marriage of their children with the partner of their choice oppose it on the basis of caste, race, religion or ethnicity. I am against such opposition and I think the children have rights to choose their partners against their parents' wish. However, Jagya's parents are not opposed to his marriage for those reasons.

2) Many parents also oppose their children's love marriage because they have a girl/boy of their choice who they think to be fitter for their child. In spite of Anandi being in the picture, Jagya's parents are not opposing Jag-Gauri marriage only for that.

3) Jagya's parents are opposing the marriage primarily because they do not support Jagya's unjust actions to Anandi. It's a matter of ethics and value, and their opposition stems from their sense of righteousness towards Anandi. And they are absolutely justified in their opposition. Anandi is extremely lucky to have such in-laws, for not many people stand for their values even to the extent of disowning their own son.

My own uncle and aunty did the same thing to their son. Their own son had a relationship with a girl of the village and after a long affair just dumped her. The girl attempted to commit suicide. When my uncle and aunty came to know about it, they tried to convince my cousin (I hate to call him my cousin, uuugh) to marry that girl. They also got to know that he had dumped many girls like that. When he refused to marry that girl, my uncle and aunty disowned him for ruining the life of an innocent girl. He later married someone else but his parents never accepted him or his wife into their family. It was not a matter of their choice, it was a matter of principles. They hated their son for the monster he had become, not because they didn't like his new bride.

Therefore, I do no think think we should equate Jagya's situation with all other cases of love marriages against parents' will. His love marriage carries a lot of other baggage and cannot be comparable to any other love marriage that face opposition due to parents' personal choice.

Similarly, the Singh family accepting Jagya and Gauri is not going to be in the same process as in any other marriage against the parents' will. In order to accept them, the Singh family will have to compromise with their sense of value and ethics and somewhat convince themselves that Jagya's act was right. That's a lot more difficult case of getting acceptance than just facing parents who oppose marriages because the bride/groom is not of their choice.

People can compromise with their choices but can they compromise with their sense of values and righteousness?

I have simple logic on this matter

1. if you are seeking financial help from your parents and are not independent enough to be on your own, you need to seek approval of your parents because your actions can have financial repercussions.

2. If you are not seeking financial help from your parents and are totally self-supporting, then seeking parental approval is voluntary. Parents' blessings is good karma and a good beginning for any new venture but not mandatory for success.

3. Finally, as a matter of courtesy and common decency, each individual must consider the impact of her/his actions on people around them, be it your children, your parents, your neighbor, co-workers or extended family.

4. Treat others as you want others to treat you.