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The melodious tunes of the flute were soft and mesmerizing. When Krishna suddenly disappeared from the floral trove, they started searching for him in the surrounding shrubs and bowers! Unable to find him, they started behaving in a strange manner. They asked the trees, plants, and brooks in the garden whether they have seen their Krishna? Unable to get an answer from them, they asked each other about the whereabouts of Krishna!

"Vakula Malika, tell me again what our Krishna told you in the evening?"

"Tonight when the moon spreads his light and hugs all the floral creepers with his simmering rays, he asked me to come here for the Raas Leela."

"Whose footsteps are those, someone is running on the wet grass; check girls... check once!"

"Madhavi ... See that side, there ...there behind that bush...see, a cloud is roaming on the ground!"

Chorus continued, "Never heard about a cloud dancing on the ground in the Sarad Ritu full moon night! Are you daydreaming in midnight, maiden? Ha Ha Ha!"

Radha continued, "Krishna, please come to us with your enchanting tunes by pressing your lips on that flute with passion! See... all the peacocks are spreading their iridescent feathers and the peahens are drinking the tears of the dancing peacocks to procreate, please do come quickly to bring back the smiles on our faces."

Chorus said, " Are we not the peahens who have come running to see this wondrous dancer? Yes, we are ...yes we are!"

A maiden murmured dreamily, "Krishna, the moonlight is drenching the jasmine creeper there indicating there is love in the air in this cloudless night. Each bush and shrubbery is quivering with tender feelings with that delicate touch of that melody. From the distance, the trees were silhouetted against the deep velvety sky. See Krishna, how we are searching for you with tears in our eyes!! "

The night spread its eyes to far off places to search for Krishna, but alas, it was difficult for the dark night to search for him who is also dark in colour!

Many assumptions...oscillating thoughts were in Radha's mind, her yearning for him didn't allow her to stand at one place, she ran towards the river Yamuna and started recollecting his words and deeds. The agony in waiting gripped her.

When suddenly the rivers heard the resonating tunes of His flute, their conjugal feelings were aroused causing their flow to become disrupted and their agitated waters turned into whirlpools! The floral creepers nearby heard Krishna's flute and lost their balance in that awesomeness and fell on the ground.

Radha ran towards the melody in search of Krishna where every tree and bush was in full bloom. Every bower and arbor was eager to hide Krishna to tease his Radha!

Radha was asking the jasmine bush, "Have you seen my Krishna who knows how to mesmerize young hearts with his melodious tunes?"

The bush blushed a bit and said, "How do I know? I am busy teaching my buds how to bloom to adorn Krishna's Gale Ka Haar [ neck garland ] while preparing myself to rest on his chest!!"

Radha ran towards the Vakula tree and asked, "You are tall and large, can you see farther and tell me if you can see my Krishna anywhere?"

The Vakula tree had gone pink which reflected on its budding leaves and it whispered into her ear like a fragrant breeze, "See girl! I am yet to recover from his fond hug, what a naughty boy he is... hugged me gleefully and kissed on my trunk but said I am going to meet my Radha tonight!"

Radha then approached Yamuna River. She sat on its bank and asked the river, " You are the mother of this nature, please tell me, where is my Krishna?"

The river quivered through its wavelets and said, "What to say Radha? While passing through this place, he checked his smiling reflection in my flow to set the peacock feather on His head, I lost my heart to that young lad's smile, since then unknowingly running to nowhere to control my resonating vibrations!"

Radha was stranded there, still searching for her Krishna with her wide eyes open, thinking about him. Somehow time passed...After an interminable eon of timelessness, a mysterious flutter in her heart, caused her to awaken from the reverie. Radha lifted her head and listened.

What did she hear? What was that sound? A whisper? A humming? A lilting musical note? That familiar mellifluous voice!"Was it the sound of my Krishna's voice... calling me?"

Finally, her sleepless eyes looked down due to shyness because of his delicate touch on her shoulder from behind! She wished to express her anger, "But what shall I do? How shall I behave, till now I never have shown my anger to him? If I show my anger, will he try to pacify me?" Nonplussed, she did not know how to receive him. When he actually arrived, it was an occasion of rejoicing. The reverberation of that sound shook her world until the sound emerged as audible words. "Radha, I am here, within your heart. Why are you searching here and there for your Krishna? You have only to look within to find me."

Love came to her like a warm wave, completely unbidden, unsought. Bliss and happiness crashed the shores of her being like tidal waves that rocked her, and she delighted in the thought of his embrace.

She asked him coyly, "Krishna, tell me once, who has lent shyness to these pair of eyes which forgot to sleep now? I want to know, who is the reason for that glow on my cheeks? I am dedicating my joy of watching the first-morning ray to you, my smile while watching that moonlit night is also yours, all that is mine is yours now Krishna! Now I can see your love in the rainbow colors, please paint those colors on my dreams, I want to see you in all those beautiful hues! Now I know, there is not much difference between that blue cloud and this peacock feather, one is devotion and the other is adoration. They are inseparable like you and me!!"

Suddenly Radha came back to the normal world where everyone was watching the dance drama that afternoon.

"Radha, your eyes are reflecting a few memories of your Krishna, what are those recollections which made you feel shy all of a sudden?", asked Hari Chandana in a teasing tone.

Radha gripped her hand and said, "When his smile is reflecting in every flower and its fragrance here, then why do I have to search for him in my memories? If you want to know my thoughts at this moment, go and ask the swaying flowers for the touch of that honey bees in the floral trove!"

"We know Radha, the slipping smiles from your crimson lips are revealing many hidden stories you both wrote passionately on your hearts in the past!" Vakula smirked

"The smile is His gift and the lips are the mere tools to carry those messages! Why I have to live in the past whereas each and every moment of my life is brimming with his ruminations?" questioned Radha.

"Is there any future for your expectations, Radha? He married thousands of women and forgot you long back! Are you not a loser?" Vishnu Vandana probed.

"His presence in my heart is the only future this Radha carries with her throughout her life!" A sudden pause ...no words were exchanged but the pantomime of silence had conveyed the full import of a thousand words!!

The other women tried to stop Vandana from teasing Radha further.

Radha silenced the ladies by waving her hand and she glanced at Vandana from the corner of her eyes and said," Yes, our Krishna married many maidens because they loved him and asked him to love them back! He reciprocated the love in the case of his Ashtabharyas. He never married any maiden forcefully! He always fulfilled the prayers of his devotees, blessed with affection. If he accepts with one hand, he gifts with a thousand. His love and kindness are vast! He married many of them to protect them from the societal probe, for safeguarding the honor of those women who stayed as captives at Narakasur's palace. War treats women as property, but Krishna treated them as an honour of this universe!"

Radha sat there immersed in His thoughts. Her long black hair was flowing like a floating dark cloud. She wore no jewelry other than earrings, there was an unpretentious charm surrounding her.

Suddenly she smiled thoughtfully, " Winning over a woman with might is not a real victory, Vandana, by losing yourself in front of your girl, that is the only way to win in the world of love. That is what Krishna taught us when he was here with us."

After the performance, Yashoda invited all of them to the feast.

They all sat under the Peepal tree which gave a temporary respite to them from the midday sun! From a far off place, a bird droned. The river was flowing like a slice of mellow harmony, flowing like time, always onward, always towards its destiny like human lives.

Radha was sitting with Yashoda and watching the maidens in animated discussions among themselves! All of a sudden, Hari Chandana asked Radha, " Radha do you know what happened to Kuru Kulvadhu Draupadi? Born from a sacred fire, Draupadi seemed to be walking through the fire throughout her life. She was married off to the five Pandavas. She was anointed as queen, but very soon was put as a stake during a dice game and was lost. Unaware of all the happenings in the dice game, it was suddenly announced to Draupadi, that she had become a maid and now she had to follow the orders of her new master Duryodhan! He asked his brother Dussasan to drag her to the court and then ordered him to disrobe her in the presence of the elder royals, in front of her own husbands, in the full view of the people in the royal court. What a sin, what an indignity it was for a woman! How could all these Gods keep silent at this inhuman act?"

Gagan Sundari added, "When Mata Kunti had asked Arjun whatever he got as alms that day to share it with his brothers, she had unknowingly put Draupadi in a dilemma, consequently, she had to marry all the five Pandav princes. When she was silent for this proposal, then our Krishna convinced Draupadi to go with that proposal. Later, Sage Vyas and Narad Muni supported this decision! How could a woman be attached to multiple men in such a besmirched way, what a sin it was! One can imagine the psychological trauma that a young girl would face, at least initially, when she had to share her tender moments with five different men. But no one understood a woman's gentle feelings, the voice of women was always suppressed. See now, how she was insulted in that court! She expressed her anger and questioned the silence of those wise men!"

A woman with a curious frown asked, "Do you know Dhaatri? Our Krishna supported this marriage in everyone's presence. Did anyone hear it ever? A woman marrying five men? "

Radha heard her words on Krishna with a thoughtful silence and her question regarding his approval for Draupadi's much-debated marriage.

"Sundari, they are the rulers and rule makers, all are wise with Godly traces, who are we to question their decisions?" Vakula tried to explain that the issue wasn't an ordinary one!

"...but our Kanha is a path maker, always supports dharma. How he supported this?" another inquisitive maiden interrupted her.

The old man who wrote the dance drama 'Radha Madhav' was sitting there silently till now, said with a stern voice, "Look, girls! What do you know about Puranas, past stories of humanity? Such marriages happened earlier too with the approval of the sages and royals, and I heard that many learned persons accepted it and both sides of the families consented to it. Who are we to criticize now, after all these years? There must be a wider concept behind that which must be beyond our perception, it is a well-conceptualized polity. And mind you, it doesn't have any discernible effect on the organized society."

"We know that you are a learned person, Kaka, we are not questioning the Vedic dharmas and Puranas, but we are asking whether anyone asked Draupadi what was her opinion prior to her marriage and what she felt after that insult in the Raj Sabha? Was there anyone to console her after that unspeakable disgrace? Why did they insult a woman in such a heinous manner and why every learned person there kept quiet? Only Krishna rushed to rescue her. In the end, Gandhari who shared her husband's debility and pain of blindness by tying her eyes with a piece of cloth, came running to rescue her Kulvadhu. Also, regarding her marriage too, we are wondering how our Krishna advised Raj Mata Kunti to accept and convinced King Drupad to move forward to accept that unique marriage," argued Vishnu Vandana.

As the conversation progressed, their interpolations moved more and more towards a woman and her freedom in those long discussions.

Madhavi mockingly questioned the maidens, " How many of us would love and be loved by Him when our Krishna was here with us! If that is acceptable, then why are we discussing a woman who ritualistically married the Pandava princes in front of the sages and seers?" She asked them to stop discussing the royal families' decisions!

Radha urged them to understand the issue by saying, "There is always a greater purpose to everything our Krishna does Chandana!"

Yashoda was listening to these words silently with a frown on her face. All of a sudden Vakula answered with a stern look "Are you questioning Krishna's decision now? Tell me, girl, how many times you left your husband and household chores behind and ran into the hands of Krishna to dance with him? Many times you left the river bank last, to spend more time with Krishna than us!! Isn't it true Sundari? That time you didn't remember these rules of conduct for a woman? "

Madhavi tried to divert the topic by asking Radha, "We heard that our Kanha has saved Draupadi's modesty and honor in the Kuru Sabha. After the dice game in which Pandavas lost everything, including their wife, which consequently lead to Panchali's disrobing in the royal court, in that crucial moment, we heard that she prayed for Krishna and he saved her from disgrace."

With a proud smile, Yashoda said, "Earlier you all were complaining against my Kanha for stealing your clothes [5000 words, 2nd Milestone] when you were bathing in the river, see, my son is a savior of a girl's honor, he is not a thief or anything, he is the protector!"

Chapter 8

Urmila as usual was involved in the affairs of the palace. Lakshman had returned from his one-month journey, but had immediately gone to visit his sister Shanta and had decided to stay with her for some time. Once again, he preferred jungle thought Urmila. She knew Mata Sumitra had tried to talk to Lakshman but he had not given her time as he rushed to his sister's place. Urmila knew now people sympathized with her. Though they didn't tell anything in front of her, Urmila knew everyone whispered about her sorry state behind her back. She gulped down, she didn't want to think too much. The one thing that made her happy these days was both Sita didi and Mandavi didi were pregnant. The news had brought much needed happiness in the palace.

It was Urmila's duty to foresee the food preparations in kitchen and ensure both Sita and Mandavi got their favourite food items. Urmila enjoyed this duty as she forced her elder sisters to have proper meals as they struggled with pregnancy related problems. Sita didi and Mandavi didi didn't ask her any question about Lakshman. They indirectly told her to have courage and Urmila felt they would have talked to their respective spouses about her plight and would have got assurance from them things would be al right. Urmila sighed once again.

She had thought she will confront her husband once he was back from the trip but before she got a chance for same, he once again fled the palace and she was not sure when he will be back.

Lakshman was interacting with his sister's grandchildren. He had been there for past two weeks and his sister was so happy to see him. He was planning to return that week but her sister insisted he stay back for another week as it has been quite long someone from her family had visited her. Her son and his children were so happy to see him. They all wanted to know the story of vanvass, war that happened in Lanka. The children wanted to play Ram and Ravan always.

Though he felt calm and happy interacting with children he had not forgotten the real mission of his visit. Speaking to Shanta didi on his dilemma. He had indicated to didi that he wanted to talk. Didi had told her son and his family was visiting her daughter in laws house for her brothers wedding that week. So, once they go, she can speak to him. His brother in law was anyways deep in meditation and won't be home for another six months. That was also one reason she had asked him to stay for another week.

That was first time Lakshman was staying with his didi for so long. Last time when he came, he had stayed just for couple of days. That time also her husband was not there. He had not understood didi's pain then as she said he is in deep meditation. Now he understood the lonely life his sister led. Her husband was in deep meditation for most part of the year. Remaining part he will be called in one kingdom or another to do one yajna or another. He was rarely home and even rarely available to her. They had three children and didi had reared them mostly on her own. Her two daughters were married to rishis and her son had married also from the family of a rishi. She wore simple clothes though he remembered Mata Kausalya used to tell Shanta didi loved silks and jewellery. She gave up everything so that their father could have sons.

Incidentally what his sons got. A wry smile appeared in Lakshman's face as he thought what they got. Princely wardrobe was taken from them for fourteen years. Ram bhaiyya was an outcast and Bharat bhaiyya made himself an outcast. He had also followed Ram bhaiyya. Then in their lives also pure bliss and happiness never came. His father had taken the happiness of his sister taking he could keep his sons happy. But it never happened. The riches that he took away from his daughter destiny took it away from his sons too. The thorns he gave to his daughter, destiny gave those thorns to his sons also. Most importantly the sons for which he had sent away his daughter at the time of his death there was not a single son beside him, but it was his daughter who had rushed to the palace hearing her father's condition. He had closed his eyes in Mata Kausalya's lap seeing Shanta didi's face.

He sighed thinking about all that and his reverie was broken by the kids who asked him to continue the stories. He continued the stories but his mind was lost in the questions. He hoped he can have the talk with his sister at the earliest so that he can put his mind to peace.

Night has fallen and Urmila had come back to her room. Now it had become a routine for her to stay alone. Sometimes the memories came when she had shared this room with someone special. The time when she had thought she will wake up everyday seeing his face. Even when he had gone for fourteen years vanvass she had dreamt of him everyday before falling asleep. She had eagerly counted the days and had waited for his return. But now everything seemed so distant. Her marriage itself looked like a line drawn in the sand which waves have taken away. Now loneliness had become her permanent companion. Maybe now her husband will never walk into her room. He will keep himself busy one way or the other and will remain in his private quarters for a life time.

Urmila sighed and looked around. Their room had both their paintings. She got up and went and near one of the paintings. She gently caressed the face of the painting

"Sumitranandan I don't want to hope. I don't want to cry. But what is my mistake. I would just love to know why you can't come to me. Why you won't accept me your wife. Why we can't have a normal life. If you face me and answer these questions, I can live in this palace alone. But these questions are now eating into my very soul. Even when I don't want to hope these questions give me hope. These questions tell me someday you will come to meet me. Please Sumitranandan just come once and answer me. Just give a closure to this endless waiting, murmured Urmila as tears flowed down her cheeks.

Chapter 9

Shanta sat opposite his brother. Her son's family had gone to her daughter in law place to attend her brother's wedding. Now only she and Lakshman were there in the ashram. Lakshman had just finished dinner.

Shanta looked at her brother's face. She knew from the time he had come her brother looked conflicted. She felt as if a storm was raging in his heart and he had come there to get some solace. She had not questioned him and even now she sat silent. She wanted him to speak. She wanted him to tell her about his problems, his conflicts.

Lakshman took a deep breath. He knew he had to talk. Else neither the pain in his heart will go nor will his problem get solved. Slowly he started opening upto his sister. Shanta listened patiently as her brother poured out his heart. Once he finished and looked upto her Shanta saw tears in his eyes. She gently wiped his tears and made him sit beside her.

"Lakshman I understand you are going through a very big dilemma. But brother you need to understand one thing. Your decision to follow Ram was not wrong. You were very much needed with him. Agreed you left Urmila behind. But would you have been able to enjoy your married life with your brother and his wife roaming from one jungle to another. Also, what Ram would have done alone when Sita was taken by Ravan. Who would have consoled him?

I very well know how much Ram loves Sita. Her disappearance would have broken him. He needed someone beside him to handle him in the hour of grief. You were his biggest support during the hard time. Without you Ram would have never fought the war with Ravan with confidence. I have heard how much my Ram broke down when you were stuck with Meghanadh's Brahmastra.

You were his right hand Lakshman. Coming to Urmila. I know her. When I visited palace at the time of father's death, she was the one who was handling everything. It was like without you telling her she knew what her duty was. She had taken charge of the palace, the wailing mothers as well as Mandavi who was broken because of Bharat's decision to move away from palace.

Urmila had done what your wife should be doing and she had taken this duty as a tapasya for fourteen long years. In these years I have visited the palace couple of times and I have always seen her with a smile. A smile that was from her heart.

Lakshman you need to understand as a woman I can very well tell Urmila had no complaints of your accompanying Ram. She understood your decision. She understood what happened in Ayodhya at that time was beyond anyone's control and to ensure things didn't deteriorate further everyone had to act maturely in the given condition.

It would be good if you don't compare my decision to marry your brother in law with what happened to Urmila. Yes, I was an unwanted daughter, a daughter who couldn't give happiness to her father as a princess. So, I took this way so that I could give him some happiness, let him have some benefit of having me as his daughter.

But Urmila was never an unwanted wife Lakshman. I know you love her immensely and even now you are guilty of hurting her. You feel in front of her sacrifice you are nothing. It is nothing like that brother. Urmila has survived these fourteen years in your love. The smile on her face when she did her duties was your love. She was a woman who was loved Lakshman. Don't take away that love from her. Now for the past three months Urmila would have felt lonely. She might be feeling you don't love her anymore and that is not the truth.

Go back to her my brother. Give all your love to her. She deserves it and you too deserve her love. Remove guilt from your heart. The sacrifice done by both of you is unmatched.

Shanta smiled at her brother and saw a smile spread on his face too. She asked him to take rest. In couple of days he had to go back to palace. Lakshman nodded.

Soon Shanta prepared bed for him and then went inside. Lakshman lay on the ashram bed looking at the moon. He thought about what all his sister told. The most important thing that struck him was Urmila was never an unwanted wife. He loved her immensely. It was a great assurance to know his sister believed Urmila loved him the same way. He was surprised to know his wife had gladly done her duties and his sister believed it was his love that made her do it.

She loved him. She was not angry with him. She was willing to accept him. Hearing all this from Shanta rejuvenated Lakshman. It was like a big burden off his chest. His wife had accepted his decision. He wanted the night to end. He wanted to just go and meet Urmila. He knew she would be happy, very happy to see him and together they will begin a fresh chapter of their married life. He smiled to himself as he drifted to sleep.

Urmila looked at the unusual silence in Ram jeeju. It has been a couple of days she has been observing the same in him. He was asking very odd questions to everyone. She didn't understand the objective of those questions. She had tried to ask Sita didi what was jeeju trying to achieve by asking questions about perspective on woman. Society's viewpoint on woman. Sita didi looked tired and didn't want to think too much about it. She had asked Urmila not to worry too much. It might be something connected to him being a king and he will have to take some decision or frame new law she had assured Urmila.

But Urmila was not satisfied. She felt as if a dark cloud was looming above Ayodhya. Once more darkness was coming to Ayodhya though she was not sure what it was. As if echoing her thoughts, a thunder sounded in the horizon. Urmila looked up worriedly as rain began to splash across Ayodhya followed by heavy winds. The rain was untimely and Urmila felt an unknown fear. A fear that was seeping through her very bones. She closed her eyes and prayed to Mahadev silently for the welfare of the royal family and Ayodhya.

Chapter 10

Lakshman said goodbye to his sister and her family. His mind was calm and composed. As he mounted the horse he thought about Urmila. He knew by nightfall he will reach Ayodhya. He would surprise her by walking into their chamber. He imagined the happiness he will see in her face. He will take her in his arms and as he imagined her keeping her head on his chest, he blushed a bit.

"Lakshman I hope you will reach the palace safely. Lakshman looked around and his face became deep red as he realized his sister was teasing him. He assured his sister he won't get lost in dreamland during the journey. As he moved outside the ashram, he felt happy as the gentle breeze blew across his face.

Urmila was in Sita's room. Sita was telling before her pregnancy proceeded to advance stages, she wanted to visit the ashram of rishis and take their blessings. The rishis and their wives were very kind to her during vanvass. She mentioned she had kept the request to Ram jeeju and he had agreed he will send her to the ashram as soon as Lakshman was back.

Urmila was intrigued. She had heard from people gossiping Lakshman was arriving to Ayodhya that night. But if didi was to be sent with Lakshman why none of the ladies in palace was informed. Didi was pregnant. If she was going to ashram then Sumitranandan alone cant take her. Some lady has to be there. Either she or Kirti or one of the mothers. Also, the royal servants have to accompany the queen to take care of her needs. But no such arrangement she saw. She heard Ram jeeju's footsteps at the door and decided to take leave. She will ask didi the questions next day morning. Anyway, didi won't be going to ashram late in the night.

Lakshman entered the road that lead to the palace and saw a footman running towards him. He stopped the horse.

"Prince Lakshman, the king has asked you to come and meet him as soon as you set foot in Ayodhya. It is very urgent.

Lakshman nodded to the footman and requested him to inform the king that he will be meeting him at his chamber soon. The footman rushed to convey the message and Lakshman took his horse towards the royal stable. He had come to meet Urmila and now suddenly it seemed all his plans have been changed. Why bhaiyya wants to meet him at night. What urgent task has come. Has someone declared war with Ayodhya? But none dared to do that. Ayodhya was the powerful kingdom in the entire royal map at that point of time. He put the horse in the stable and walked towards Ram's chamber.

He gently knocked the door and as he heard his brother's voice asking him to enter, he entered with trepidation. The chamber was in semidarkness and Ram was standing turning away from him.

The next words Lakshman heard from his brother made him feel as if earth was shaking under his feet.

"Bhaiyya I can't do this. Forgive your brother bhaiyya but I can't do this for you. I have followed every order of yours. But this one. Leave Sita bhabi in jungle. How can you do it bhaiyya. Bhabi is pregnant. What will she do alone in the jungle? Lakshman fell at Ram's feet.

Ram was unflinching and when Lakshman didn't relent his voice turned stern. "Lakshman this is not the order of your brother. This is the order of king of Ayodhya. You very well know what is the punishment for disobeying the king. The people of this kingdom think Sita is impure and doesn't want her as the queen of their land. So, I have decided to banish the queen of Ayodhya. I have told Sita to get ready to visit the ashram. You go meet her and in the pretext of taking her to ashram leave her across the boundary of Ayodhya in the jungle. Please understand you are not supposed to tell her anything till you reach the jungle.

Lakshman got up teary eyed. He knew he has to obey the order of the king. Hardening himself he walked towards his bhabi's room. His heart bled as he saw his bhabi standing happily ready to visit the ashram. She was thinking she will bet the blessings of rishi's and will be back in the palace in couple of days. How he was supposed to tell her she was banished from Ayodhya for eternity. Hiding his emotions, he asked Sita to accompany him.

Sita mentioned she wanted to see Ram before she left. Lakshman told Ram bhaiyya was in his private chamber thinking about some serious issue in the kingdom. Sita insisted she wanted to visit her husband and Lakshman allowed her. He cried silently as he saw his bhabi standing in front of the chamber and calling out Ram bhaiyya and the door was not opened. Finally, she decided he might be too busy and kept a flower at the door and then walked with Lakshman.

In the darkness as Sita stepped out from the palace Lakshman felt with her the prosperity of Ayodhya was going. His bhabi who has loved only her bhaiyya, his bhabi who had fearlessly jumped in the fire to prove her purity was being called impure by people of Ayodhya. It was as if people in their ignorance were sending away Mahalakshmi from Ayodhya.

Urmila got up. It was a sleepless night for her. In sleep she saw many weird dreams, something like Sita didi going away. But they were so abstract and she was not sure what exactly she saw. As she heard the first sound of dawn breaking, she decided to get up. She has to go to Sita didi and see whether she was alright. Quickly she walked to Sita's room. She could see the room was open and Sita didi was nowhere to be seen. She called out Sita didi but didn't get any response. She was puzzled as to where Sita didi would have gone so early. Also, none of Sita didi's royal maids were seen. She became worried and started moving towards Ram jeeju's private chamber. Maybe he might know where didi was.

As she stepped out from Sita's room, she saw Sumitra standing in front of her with a grim face. As she heard the news from her mother in law Urmila felt she was falling unconscious. Sumitra held her daughter in law.

"Didi is banished from Ayodhya. For what. My didi did agnipareeksha. Still people of Ayodhya think she is impure. My husband has gone to leave her in jungle. How could he do it. Sita didi was his mother. She had taken care of him in the entire period of vanvass. How could he leave his pregnant bhabi in jungle? Ma, I can't take it anymore. I have lived with his apathy towards me. But I can't live with this apathy he showed to Sita didi. He should have questioned. He should have refused to carry out Ram jeeju's order. I would have been happy if my husband died trying to stand up for his bhabi. But this is cowardly act. To leave a pregnant lady alone in jungle.

What kind of new dawn has come to Ayodhya with Ram jeeju in the throne? Sita didi, why I couldn't understand this was going to happen to you. I wouldn't have allowed it didi. I wouldn't have allowed it. Urmila cried uncontrollably in Sumitra's arms and Sumitra led her daughter in law gently to her room.

Chapter 11

Lakshman was returning to Ayodhya in the chariot. His heart wanted to turn back and go where he had left Sita bhabi. But he knew he had to give the information to the king the order has been completed. His body started shaking as he remembered Sita bhabi's wails. The way she had run to commit suicide and he had to remind her she was pregnant and she was responsible for the baby. Then she had sat on the ground tired her face showing the trust that was broken and pain of not knowing what was her sin to deserve this punishment. Was her sin being that she loved her husband very much and accompanied him to vanvass. Was her sin being she didn't want the rishi to curse the entire Ayodhya she stepped across Lakshman Rekha. Was her sin being she jumped into the fire to prove to the world she loved only Ram. Was it for all these she was punished by the king of Ayodhya?

Lakshman steadied himself. He could not allow himself to be weak. He can't undo what was done. He had stood silent in front of Sita bhabi for some time. Then he had left her in that condition and had walked towards the chariot without turning back. He prayed to Mahadev that let some rishi see bhabi and offer her shelter in the ashram.

It was then his thought turned to Urmila and he knew he was not in a position to face her. This was not about fourteen-year vanvass. This was about banishing her pious and pure sister. He had no answer to give her. Once again, he will have to move away from her. He will give the information to Ram and will take his permission to go to his maternal place for few months so that he could think of how to answer Urmila and her questions.

Urmila walked impatiently across the garden. Her mind was in turmoil. She knew her husband had returned and was in meeting with Ram jeeju. She wanted to confront him and ask him questions. But at that point she had heard none was allowed near Ram jeeju's private chamber. So, she didn't know how she will meet him. For all practical purpose after meeting with Ram jeeju he will go somewhere else and she can no clue which way he will take to move out of the palace out of fourteen gateways.

It was hard day for her. She was semi-conscious only for half the day and blabbered things. It was with difficulty her mother in law had fed her some food. It was after much coaxing that she needed food to stand straight she finally decided to eat at least the afternoon meal. Also, Mandavi didi was in similar condition and she knew she couldn't allow didi in that condition. She and the life growing inside her needed food. So, Urmila controlled her emotions and handled her sisters. Once Mandavi didi was asleep and she ensured Kirti was in a position to take care of her she had come to the garden.

Lakshman looked around. He had narrated the entire story of Sita banishment to Ram. His brother's face didn't show any emotion though Lakshman could feel the deep pain in his eyes. His other two brothers Bharat and Shatrughna stood shocked. They still couldn't believe their bhabi was banished but were unable to ask a single question to Ram because of his stoic silence.

"Lakshman I knew it was a hard thing for you to do. But I am thankful you did your duty. Now I need to meet the ministers and discuss some affairs of the state, told Ram indicating the meeting was dismissed. Lakshman thought for a few moments and then gently spoke.

"Bhaiyya I have done something which has given me a lot of emotional turmoil. To calm myself I would prefer to stay away from Ayodhya for some time. I would request your permission to travel to Kashi to spend time with my mother's family for some two three months.

"Lakshman I understand your need. You can very well go to Kashi. Bharat and Shatrughna can handle the things here, replied Ram as he walked out from his chamber.

Bharat, Lakshman and Shatrughna too came out in silence. They looked at each other for sometime and then Bharat broke the silence telling that he needs to check on Mandavi. Shatrughna also mentioned he will have to look at Kirti and ensure her well-being. As both his brothers walked away Lakshman stood alone on the corridor.

His first thought was to go to stable, take his horse and then go straight to Kashi. Then he decided he would meet his mother. Maybe she will have some message for her family. But the thought of meeting Sumitra made Lakshman again guilt ridden. What would he tell his mother if she asks how he left Sita bhabi alone in jungle? At the time of vanvass his mother had told him from that day onwards Ram was like Dasrath and Sita was like her. Abandoning Sita bhabi meant abandoning his mother. He decided to go to stable but then again, his heart stopped him. It will not be right to go to Kashi without meeting his mother. He will have to meet her. He decided to go to royal garden and sit there for some time to calm his mind before meeting Sumitra.

He walked speedily towards the garden. His mind was in turmoil and hundred questions arose in him and he didn't had answer to anything. He was so lost as he stepped into the garden only to be brought to present by a loud thundering voice.

"You came Sumitranandan. I know its your guilty that has brought you here. You wouldn't have expected me here right. But Sumitranandan how long you will run away from me. I was sure today Mata Gowri would listen to my prayer. Today she will ensure I meet you before you run away once again to hide yourself.

Lakshman looked up to see an Urmila standing in the garden with fire streaming through her eyes. She looked Kali ready to burn entire Ayodhya in her anger. Lakshman knew she was capable of doing that. Her purity, her devotion and her principles had the power to bring Ayodhya to its knees. He had to stop her. But looking at the woman in front of her he was not sure how he will calm her. He prayed silently to Mata Gowri to show a way to save Ayodhya. To give him time to make her understand his point of view.

As if the Goddess has answered his prayers, he heard his mother's voice from behind calling out to both of them.

Both of them turned and looked in the direction from where the voice came and saw Sumitra standing at the entrance of the garden beckoning them.

Chapter 12

Both Lakshman and Urmila walked silently behind Sumitra. Urmila was still seething inside and Lakshman was looking down.

Once she reached her room, she asked both Lakshman and Urmila to sit and she too sat. Sumitra looked at both of them before starting to speak.

"Lakshman and Urmila I know both of you are saddened by the turn of events in Ayodhya. Ram sending away Sita was most unexpected. But I don't want you both to fight on what Ram has done. Please hear me out before you discuss Ram and Sita.

Beta Lakshman, beti Urmila I know Ram. From childhood he has ensured the welfare of others over self. If anyone else would have been in his place that person would have declared war on his father than going for fourteen years vanvass. You need to understand even sages like Vashisth were of the opinion that if Ram decides not to choose vanvass he has that option as he need to keep his father's vachans. Sage Jabali even debated with him on his decision to choose vanvass. But Ram decided to honor his father's words.

Beta with that action Ram didn't lose the throne. But that journey took him to greater heights. In eliminating Ravan he removed a threat to the world and also got allies like Vibhishan and Sugreeva.

That day none understood Ram's decision but looking back that was the action that differentiated him from the rest. Today also none understands him. But time will reveal why he took that decision today.

Another thing you have to know. Ram loves Sita immensely. Ram knows what Sita is capable of. You think of Sita as a weak pregnant woman left alone in the jungle. I know for my Ram Sita is the woman who can survive in the jungle. Infact she has survived in the jungle. For thirteen years she was in jungle and she is familiar with jungle than the palace. How could you forget Sita safeguarded herself all alone in Lanka for eight months? How can she be weak?

One of the most important things. There are many ashrams in the jungle. The people of Ayodhya are ignorant and calls Sita impure. But not those ashramvasis. They have seen the woman who has accompanied her husband and undertook the difficult journey. I am sure Sita will be accommodated in one of the ashrams and the ladies will take good care of her and when children are born will support her in bringing them up. So, you need to stop worrying about Sita and allow time to reveal the real purpose of Ram's decision, concluded Sumitra and gently caressed Lakshman and Urmila's cheeks.

Then she turned to Lakshman, "Lakshman I heard you are going to Kashi. But before you go, I want you to talk to Urmila. From the time you have come I have wanted to talk to you. You didn't give me a chance.

There are lot of misunderstanding that is happening between you. You have given up fourteen years of your life in the service of others. It is time you leave everyone aside and concentrate on your life. Ram and Sita knows to handle themselves. My Ram can't leave Sita and Sita cannot leave Ram. There is no need for anyone to worry about them. So please take your wife to the garden and have a chat, commanded Sumitra to Lakshman.

Lakshman nodded and got up looking at Urmila. Urmila was teary eyed. Sumitra's words had dispelled her anger but, in its place, came another feeling. A deep pain and she couldn't control her tears. They reached the garden once again. Urmila sat under the Asoka tree silently. Lakshman stood beside her for sometime as she shed tears. Then he sat beside her and gently took her hands. Urmila looked up.

"Urmila I am sorry. I don't know what else to tell. It was not that I wanted to leave Sita bhabi in jungle. But then you know Ayodhya. It was a king's order. How can I decline. Sita bhabi is like my mother. You think it was easy for me to leave her alone in the jungle. For fourteen years I had guarded bhabi. I had removed thorns in her path. I had supported her in getting things for kitchen. She loved me more as a son than devar and have told many times I am her elder born. Then it is Hanuman and the child she will have now comes only after us. The taste of the food she has served is still in my tongue. My bhabi whom I have seen jumping in the fire to prove her purity it was never easy for me to leave her. But I had to do it. Forgive me if you could.

Urmila wiped her tears, "Sumitranandan, I should have known your limitations. When Maa Sumitra spoke, I realized if she had not come on time, I might have done some grave mistake in my anger. How can I forget Sita didi knows jungle? Its not a new place for her. As Ma said I will not delve into the decision of Ram jeeju to banish Sita didi.

However, Sumitranandan why you didn't come to meet me. It has been five months since your return to Ayodhya. But not for once you thought you want to see me. Even today you didn't come to see me. This meeting happened by accident. Why Sumitranandan you no longer want Urmila in your life. Are you so used to the single life you had led for fourteen years that you are unable to give space for a second person in your life? Tell me Sumitranandan what is my fault for you to avoid me.

"Urmila how can you even think I want to lead a single life. It was the need of the time I left you here in Ayodhya. Urmila, I love you. I always want you as my life partner. But I was feeling guilty on whether I was a good husband and that's the reason I didn't come to meet you. Then Shanta didi made me realize you had accepted my decision to go for vanvass wholeheartedly. Yesterday I had come happily to meet you. But then I was given another hard responsibility by Ram bhaiyya. I have done it but once again my mind is not calm. I need to go to Kashi. I need to make my mind calm. I request you please give me another three months' time. I promise I won't disappoint you this time, concluded Lakshman and looked at her eagerly.

"Sumitranandan I will give you three months but not more than that. This Urmila can't take more separation, she kept her head in his hand and Lakshman felt her tears in his palms. He lifted her face and caressed her hair.

"Urmila I will be back. Now please smile else with you crying I won't be able to go and you need to know it is important for me to go. Urmila looked at her husband and smiled a small blush appearing on her face and Lakshman gave her a gentle hug and got up.

Chapter 13

Urmila got up as the rays of sun fell on her. It was after months she had slept well that night. Somewhere Ma Sumitra had put her worry about Sita didi to rest. Then her husband talked to her after so many years. He told he loved her, wants her in his life. She looked at his hands and kept them close to her heart and felt his touch. She had thought her entire life she would be alone in that room. But no. In another couple of months her lonely life will end.

She thought about all her questions and understood all were baseless. How she couldn't understand him. He was guilty of leaving her and what all she was thinking. Yes, he had not come to meet her, why she didn't barge into his room to meet him. She was his wife and she had every right to go and meet him. She also didn't go and went through all the unnecessary turmoils. If she had gone to his room maybe their problem would have been solved before. She sighed. There was no point thinking about the past, it was the time to look toward to their new beginning.

Then she remembered Mandavi didi. She had to be near didi. Last night she had tried to make didi understand what Maa Sumitra told her. But Mandavi didi was inconsolable and had slept crying only. She can't allow didi to be like that especially in the condition she was in. She freshened up quickly and rushed to Mandavi's room.

Lakshman looked at his horse. He had another day to travel before he could reach Kashi. He was happy and sad at the same time. Happy because he was finally able to open up to Urmila. Sad because he couldn't stop his brother from banishing his bhabi. The conflicting thoughts had kept him half-awake through the night. Then he remembered Ma Sumitra's words and then Urmila's smile and was finally able to sleep. Now it was time to travel. Ram bhaiyya had asked him to take royal servants along with him. But Lakshman had declined. He told he needed his personal space and he will travel to Kashi all alone. So, he had taken only the gifts Maa Sumitra had given to give to her family and the food that will be required for the long travel. He mounted the horse and started his journey towards Kashi.

Urmila looked at the silent Mandavi and the food in front of her. Mandavi was still lost. Bharat jeeju had tried to cheer her up and had given up. Seeing Urmila, he had gone out.

"Didi please eat. You can't do this to the baby growing inside you, pleaded Urmila.

"Urmila how can you be calm. Isn't didi too pregnant. What will be she doing now. Thinking about her how can I eat, Mandavi started crying again.

"Didi you eat now. I will surely try to get information of Sita didi. You know I have my sources. I used to get you information on Bharat jeeju and we also used to get information on the Lanka war now and then.

Mandavi looked at Urmila. She knew in the fourteen years Urmila had been separated from her husband she had cultivated a network of ladies and men through which she could get updates about Lakshman. It was something that she had shared only with Mandavi and Kirti and didn't want anyone else in the palace to know. Not even Maa Sumitra. Urmila heaved a sigh of relief as she saw Mandavi smiling. She took the plate and fed her assuring her that day evening she will have information on Sita didi.

Urmila walked outside Mandavi room. It has been months she had used her network. She hoped it was still active as she walked towards the royal kitchen. Her network started from Ranimaa there. Ranimaa was royal cook and had taken a special liking to Urmila. She had so many contacts inside and outside palace and was a very knowledgeable lady.

"Princess Urmila you want the information on queen, whispered Ranimaa as soon as she saw Urmila and Urmila was surprised.

"Ranimaa how did you... asked Urmila astonished.

"Princess Urmila from the time the news had come on the banishment on the queen I was expecting you. I know you would want to know the whereabouts of your sister. I have already made necessary arrangements. You will get the information by evening, smiled Ranimaa.

"Thank you Ranimaa. It is greatly appreciated, told Urmila and then moved out. On the way she once again remembered about Lakshman.

Why didn't she talk about her secret network to her husband? She could have eased his guilt. But in her need to question him she forgot the fact that she can get information. In her anger she forgot the truth Ma Sumitra told. The fourteen-year vanvass and the five-month separation was not her fault. But this three-month separation she knew she could have avoided it if she had thought things through calmly.

But there was no point thinking about that. What has happened has happened. Now Lakshman was gone and she will have to wait for him. Once again, she decided to go to garden. As she stepped into the garden rain drops fell on her and a slight breeze fell on her. Urmila smiled. The light rain and the gentle breeze. It was raining slightly and a gentle breeze was blowing in Mithila the day Ram and Lakshman entered the palace along with rishi Vishwamitra. The day love had walked into her life. Once again, the breeze was flowing and once again rain was falling. It was as if it signaled love was coming back to her life again. Was her husband coming back, did he decide there was no point going to Kashi. Her heart began to beat faster. As she turned to go to her room, she saw a footman standing at the entrance of royal garden

He bowed to her, "Princess Urmila I have been asked to tell you that prince Lakshman would be returning to Ayodhya by night. Please be informed that he will be meeting you tonight.

Urmila took the necklace from her neck and gave it to the footman who had brought her the good news. The footman took leave and Urmila went back to the garden. She wanted to get herself drenched in the rain. She closed her eyes reminiscing every moment of that day in Mithila when she was drenching herself in rain and the news had come rishi Vishwamitra was coming along with princes of Ayodhya Ram and Lakshman.

Sumitra looked at her daughter in law from her room enjoying the rain. News had reached her Lakshman was coming back. Finally, Urmila was getting the life she deserved so much and as a mother Sumitra felt very happy.