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21 years of Mujhse Shaadi Karogi
Chapter 1
Bharat stood in front of the funeral pyre. It was the day Ram's vanvas was supposed to end. Evening was fast approaching and still there was no sign of Ram. Hence Bharat had set up the pyre to jump in it. Kaikeyi and Mandavi were crying and Urmila was trying desperately to calm them down.
It was the most anticipated day in Urmila's life. After fourteen years she will see her husband. But Bharat jeeju's vow didn't give any reprise to think about her feelings about seeing Sumitranandan after fourteen long years. She consoled her elder sister who was crying in her lap to have faith Ram jeeju. He will not allow such a catastrophe to fall on Ayodhya.
But Mandavi was far from consoled and Urmila darted her eyes towards where Bharat was standing. Guru Vashishth was debating with him not to do anything in hurry and the three mothers' also echoing guru's feelings. But Bharat jethji looked hell bent on fulfilling is vow.
As the sun started setting in the horizon Bharat started taking the round of the pyre. Mandavi tried to rush to her husband, but Urmila and Kirti held their sister tightly. As Bharat was about to take the third round suddenly a noise was heard from above. As everyone looked they saw Hanuman. He came down and quickly held back Bharat from the pyre.
To the crowd who was standing astonished Hanuman conveyed the good news that Ram, Sita and Lakshman were approaching Ayodhya in the Pushpak Vimana. He had been sent early as Ram was worried about Bharat and wanted the news to reach him. The mothers blessed Hanuman for bringing joy and the atmosphere of gloom immediately changed to festive.
Bharat ordered everyone to light lamps in their houses to welcome Ram and he gave instructions to decorate the palace as he wanted the entire Ayodhya lighted up and looking beautiful when his dear brother enters it after fourteen long years.
Urmila ran to the palace. Her heart was beating fast. As she gave instructions for the decorations a small smile spread on her lips.
" Urmila, Ayodhya is waiting for Ram. But I know the blush on my sister's face is for someone else, Urmila turned and found Mandavi standing behind with lamp. She had stopped crying and was now laughing at her.
"Urmila didi do one thing. Let me and Mandavi didi decorate the palace. You go and dress up. When Lakshman jeeju enters let his eyes stay only on my beautiful Urmila didi, Kirti joined Mandavi in teasing Urmila.
" See I am fine like this. No need to dress up and all. Let me finish lighting up this corridor, Urmila tried to turn away from her sisters, only to see her mother in law Sumitra standing in front of her.
" It is needed Urmila. Very much needed. There are enough people in the palace to take care of all these things. I have kept your dress and solah sringaar ready. When my son enters, I want him to see my daughter in law dressed up like a bride. It's the new beginning for both of you. You have done a sacrifice no other woman can imagine doing. Now its time for you to look into your life, told Sumitra as she instructed one servant to take Urmila to her room.
Once inside the room Urmila looked at the yellow green lehenga her mother in law had kept. She began to dress up and memories came.
" Urmila why are you taking so much time in dressing. It is Sita's swayamvar. Not yours, came in her mother Sunaina.
"Maa just a few mins adjusting my maang tikka, told Urmila. Sunaina arranged her daughter's maang tikka and mentioned she is looking fine and ordered her to come out as it was time to take Sita to the swayamvar venue.
Urmila turned and checked the maang tikka and adjusted it, till she felt it was right. She wanted to adjust it a little more but she heard her mother shouting and rushed out. How was she supposed to tell yes it was Sita didi's swayamvar? If the elder prince Ram had stolen her didi's heart, the younger prince Lakshman had made a place in her heart too. Also when she saw them in the temple yesterday the younger prince had politely pointed out her maang tikka was out of place. She didn't want him to see her again that day with her maang tikka placed incorrectly. She hoped it was correct as she rushed down the stairs.
Urmila came back to present as she adjusted her maang tikka. Her husband always loved to tease her telling she didn't know to put maang tikka correctly. Urmila adjusted maang tikka. She didn't want him to tease her that day too. Once finished putting all jewellery she looked herself in the mirror and blushed. She was looking beautiful. She had dressed up the way her husband had always wanted to see her.
Meanwhile a servant came and announced she has been asked to come down as prince Ram along with Sita and Lakshman was supposed to enter the palace at any point of time. Urmila smiled as she accompanied the servant.
Sumitra apprised her daughter in law as she came down. She was looking ethereal and could single handedly light up the entire palace on that amavasi day. She went beside her and smiling gave the aarti ki thali in her hand.
Urmila took the thali and as she waited for him her mind was racing. She thought about what all she will speak to her husband that night. Then will she able to speak or will she just cry in his arms. She was choking in emotions. So much was closed inside her and she just wanted to let go of everything that night in her husband's arms. It has been fourteen years since she had felt those strong arms and she hoped their separation would end that night.
Chapter 2
Laxman sat in the Puspak Vimana. Ayodhya was fast approaching. He looked at his bhaiyya and bhabi who looked eager and happy to see their family after fourteen long years. But his heart was in deep turmoil. Though at one hand he was excited to see his family but on the other hand his conscience pricked him as he thought about his wife Urmila. How was he supposed to face her. He remembered their last meeting.
" Sumitranandan don't move forward. Stand where you are, pleaded Urmila as she saw her husband dressed in cloths suited for Vanvas.
" Urmila.. Lakshman tried to move forward but Urmila moved backwards stopping him.
" Sumitranandan I have made my heart into stone and have accepted this separation of fourteen years. In the last few hours I had struggled a lot to make my heart agree to the fact that Ram jethji and Sita didi needs you and this palace needs me. Now if you touch me, my resolve will be broken, I wont be in a position to let you go. So do me a favour. From this moment Urmila is not your responsibility, your duty is towards your brother and bhabi.
Before Lakshman could reply he heard his mother's call and he knew it was time to leave. As Urmila took his aarti he saw in her eyes pride and a pain she was finding difficult to hide.
He had not looked back that day. He knew if he had turned, he wouldn't have been able to move forward. He would have been stopped by Urmila's love. Now sitting in the vimana he thought about his decision. Yes what he did was the duty, but he had a duty towards his wife also. When King Janak gave the hand of his younger daughter in his hand he would have expected he will keep her happy. He will perform all the duties of a husband. While Ram bhaiyya crossed the ocean for Sita bhabi to fulfill the vow of being her husband what has he done as a husband? Except leaving his wife alone in the palace to deal with the problems there. He knew Urmila had accepted his decision wholeheartedly but then was what he did to her fair.
His thoughts were interrupted by the loud noises and he realized they had reached Ayodhya. He looked around and saw the whole city was well lit. Even from distance the lights of palace could be seen. When they stepped out people started garlanding them and paved flowers in their paths. The chants of Jai Shri Ram reverberated in the atmosphere as they proceeded towards palace.
As the grand entrance of the palace loomed in front of him Laxman wanted time to stop. He didn't want to take one step forward. But then there was no option. He had to move forward. He inched forward slowly walking behind Ram bhaiyya and Sita bhabi.
However once they reached the top step Mata Kausalya ordered them to stand in a line so that their aarti can be taken. First all the three mothers took their aarti and they touched their feet and took blessings.
Once arti was done Bharat and Shatrughna stepped forward and the brothers hugged each other, while Sita hugged her sisters.
The happy party moved inside and Kausalya asked all of them to freshen up and come for dinner. That day a big feast was arranged in the palace especially for them. Ram nodded politely and moved towards his room with Sita.
Urmila looked at her husband. From the time they had stepped in palace her eyes were trying to meet his. But her husband was not looking at her. Now she waited eagerly for him to accompany her. But he saw him requesting one servant that he would prefer to go to his personal room which was at the other end of the palace.
Sumitra stepped forward and asked her son to follow Urmila. But Laxman politely told his mother he wanted some time alone and hence would prefer his personal room. His mother nodded as the servant led him to the other side of the palace.
Sumitra turned to Urmila, " Urmila maybe Laxman feels guilty of leaving you here. You should not worry about it. Just make sure that you make him feel you don't have any bad feelings about his decision. See I have made his favourite dishes for the dinner. When he comes you serve them. Also have a smile on your face. In couple of days everything will be fine.
Urmila smiled at her mother in laws assurance. She knew her mother in law was a wise woman and always handled situations with a smile. To a great extent Urmila had tried to imbibe those qualities in her also. She went to see the dinner preparations. Once in kitchen Urmila forgot everything about the happenings and ran around giving instructions to arrange the dishes for the feast. Whatever little pain was remaining that too vanished when she heard Sita didi's voice calling out to her.
" My little sister has grown up so much. Handling a feast all alone, let me know what I can do to help you smiled Sita.
"Didi I don't want you to do anything today. For fourteen years you were eating berries and masala less food. But tonight it is royal feast. Have it to your fullest and let me know how the arrangement is. "
Soon Mandavi and Kirti joined them and the sisters engaged themselves in light banter as the servants arranged dishes and they saw the four princes coming. The mothers asked them to move to dining hall for the feast as along with princes, there would be ministers, guru Vashisht and other prominent personalities of Ayodhya were invited.
The sisters nodded and as they walked once again the trio of Sita, Mandavi and Kirti started teasing Urmila on Laxman.
Chapter 3
The dinner started on a pleasant note with Guru Vashisht announcing the date of crowing of Prince Ram. It had been decided that Ram will be crowned as the king of Ayodhya the coming Monday. Everyone was happy and questioned Ram about his journey to Lanka and victory over Ravan. Ram turned to Hanuman and Hanuman started narrating the story of Ram's journey to Lanka.
Urmila looked around. She could see all were listening attentively to Hanuman narration except her husband. Urmila had started feeling uneasy because her husband didn't look up once when she served him food. It was not at all like him. She remembered his gentle touches on her hands during the early days of their marriage.
For two weeks after the marriage as per Guru Vashisht instructions the couple had to stay apart. At that time Urmila and Kirti had stayed in their mother in law Sumitra's room. They were allowed to meet only in day time and also under the supervision of elders. During that time Laxman had loved to caress her hands stealthily when she served food. Urmila blushed thinking about it and her heart sank as she realized her present reality. She wiped the tears that were about to fall. She didn't want to spoil the occasion. Maybe when her husband comes to their room for night things will be fine. She assured herself.
The dinner proceeded as Hanuman continued the story. When it reached Sita's Agnipareeksha Urmila saw her didi holding her fist tight as if she was again going through that painful moment. Urmila reached out to Sita and gently held her shoulder. When Hanuman finished about Agnipareeksha the whole hall started hailing Sita. But Urmila could see her sister was trying hard to control her tears. Urmila didn't understand what the need for Sita didi to do Agnipareeksha was. Her loyalty to Ram jethji was unwavering. She had gone with him to vanvas still the society wanted proof of her purity. Once again the question she asked to her father from childhood came to her mind. Why proof was always asked from woman. Why she was always expected to sacrifice.
Her father Raja Janak had told her that a society asking a woman the proof of her purity was a degraded society and a society that didn't respect her and expected her to do a man's bidding never survived long. Raja Janak had practiced what he preached. Mithila was a kingdom where woman were respected and allowed their choices. Her father had married only once and was happy just with two of his daughters. He had never craved for sons and was always thankful to the supreme universe the blessing it has showered on him.
But Ayodhya was different. She knew King Dasrath married thrice to get a son. He had sacrificed his daughter Shanta for the sake of a son. Also Ayodhya was rigid in its dealings with woman and gave importance to vachans more than necessary. From the time the sisters had come from Mithila they had understood their life will take a different turn in this kingdom. Her Ram jeeju was different from King Dasrath but hearing about Agnipareeksha she understood even he is bound by the law of Ayodhya that puts invisible chains on woman. For a moment she forgot about her issue as she looked at Ram jeeju who was sitting with his head bowed. Urmila knew jeeju was not happy in subjecting her didi to Agnipareeksha. But then Ayodhya compelled him.
Her mother in law voice broke her reverie. Sumitra asked the ladies now the dinner of men was over and they should be proceeding to have dinner. Urmila nodded and followed the others. She turned and checked whether her husband was looking at her. No, Lakshman was turned away from her. Throughout the dinner topic was Sita's Agnipareeksha and her stay in Lanka. As Sita narrated how Ravan had kidnapped her and then about her eleven month stay in Lanka Urmila felt sadder. Her didi was trapped, she stayed in an alien place for eleven long months without any support chanting the name of Ram. Still in the end for all the love, loyalty and faith she had shown she had to give Agnipareeksha to prove herself. What kind of a society it was that took advantage of the innocence of a woman and yet blamed her for what happened to her.
The dinner of ladies finished on a sober note and the sisters moved to their respective rooms. Once she entered her room .Urmila corrected her shringaar once again. A smile spread on her lips as she heard footsteps. She turned eagerly only to see a footman standing at the door.
" Princess Urmila, prince Lakshman would be staying in his private room today and tomorrow he is going for a city visit with Prince Bharat and Prince Shatrugna and will be back only on Sunday. I have been asked to convey this message to you.
Urmila nodded numbly as the footman took leave. Her husband was not coming to their room that day. In addition he was going for his favourite city tour for the next four days.
She sat heavily on the bed. She had waited all these fourteen years for this one day. But it seemed her husband was not in a hurry to meet her. It seemed the fourteen years had changed him to such an extent he no longer wished to have her in his life. Maybe that was why he was not looking at her. Maybe he didn't know how to tell her that bitter truth. Urmila didn't know what to feel and she fell on the bed and began to cry uncontrollably.
Lakshman sat in his private room. He knew Urmila had dressed up for him. He knew she prepared his favourite dishes. But the question that nagged his mind was, was he worthy of her love. He felt he wasn't.
CHAPTER ONE
~Urmila~
I have been raised by a Queen and have been taught every single thing that a princess should do to keep my family happy. Even though I was the daughter of King Janak and Queen Sunaina, preference was always given to my elder sister Sita. Please don't get me wrong I love my sister. And I know that even she loves me back. But, for instance, she got to choose her groom, but I wasn't. My parents came to me and announced that they have already chosen a man for me and that I was supposed to get married on the same day as my sister. Just like an obedient daughter, I agreed upon their choice. The very day I married Laksman, one of the twin sons of Queen Sumitra and King Dasharath of Ayodhya. I wasn't even given an opportunity to see him properly before marriage. At least sister Sita saw Raghuvanshi Ram before the swayambar took place. I saw him beside his brother Ram in the swayambar. He was tall and well built and had a very strong aura radiating through him. His protective eyes scanned the entire Rajya Shabha for any kind of danger. Once satisfied, he took the seat next to his brother Ram. While his eyes racked over everyone in the Sabha, it held mine for a fraction of a second before Sage Vishwamitra introduced them to my father, King Janaka.
While we rejoiced the garlanding ceremony of our sister Sita in our private room, my mother came to congratulate her. She also said that King Dasharath wants his other sons to get married to three daughters of Mithila and that they have chosen sister Mandvi for his second born Bharat, Suthakirti for Shatrughna and me for Lakshman. I wish even I had an opportunity to choose my groom just like my sister. However, I was delighted with the choice.
Look at my destiny; even though I was married to a prince, I didn't get to live a happy married life. Looks like I was born to sacrifice.
"Probably the darkness of my life will never subside, my mind told me in my dream as I lay on the palatial bed. It has been a regular occurrence now. A dark cloud loomed over my sleeping form. However, today I saw them parting and sun rays washing over me. From a distance, I could hear millions of people rejoicing. "Raghupati Ramachandra Ki Jai...Siya pati Ramchandra ki Jai, the voices were slowly coming closer. I could hear the voices of my cousins trying to wake me up. It has been a while since I have heard their voices.
They both were chanting the same words. "Urmi, wake up sister. Your beloved husband is back. They chanted these words like mantra softly against my ears. This cannot be true I thought. Probably they are trying to wake me up. My husband is long gone. He will take fourteen years to return. I wanted to dive deeper into my sleep. The depressing thought kept nagging me whenever I tried to wake up. My sisters can never understand my pain. No matter how much they sympathise with me. My husband chose his brother over his wife just like my parents chose my sister over me. He is answerable to me when he is back. He has not only punished me but, his mother as well. Her son was not there to support her during the demise of her husband, former King of Ayodhya. As a daughter-in-law, I couldn't take care of her due to the boon given my Nidra Devi. My husband is answerable each an every pain that we had to endure due to his decision.
"Urmi, wake-up my child. It's time to celebrate and not sleep." her feeble voice was like a piece of music to my ears. I was slowing coming out of the sleep. Her pleas and cries were making me fidgety. I had promised my husband that I will not cry until he is back on his demand and that I will take care of his parents during his absence. There was another woman who kept that promise and that Mata Sumitra. She must have heard his son, which is why when he left she came to me and held my hand. Unable to sympathise she promised me that she will divide the pain.
Why is she crying then? Did something bad happen to my husband in exile? That thought jolted me awake. Feeling disoriented I looked everywhere in the room. The moment my vision got cleared I saw my cousins, Madvi and Suthakriti sitting right beside talking to each other stating how happy they are that I am now awake. Mata Sumitra was in tears caressing my sleep-woken face. Few Dasi's hurried to get me water and fruits. I wasn't hungry I wanted to tell them trying to hide my panic. I couldn't form a single word as I was feeling choked. I wanted to ask them whether my husband's safety but, nothing came out.
"You are awake my child. Finally, you are awake," she hugged me while sniffling. "I have waited for this moment my child for such a long time," she cried sweetly. I hugged her back seeking for her comfort. I might be sleeping, but I know she used to come to my room and sat beside me for hours whispering sweet nothings just to make sure that I don't feel alone while my husband was gone. Her comforting fingers took away all the fear that I had for my husband not coming back ever.
"Mata, how long have I been sleeping?" I questioned her after breaking the embrace. My dasi, Ahalya gave me a glass of honey water. The sweetness of the liquid soothed my sore throat.
"It has been fourteen years, Urmi. We all were really concerned for you. What happened to you, my child? We thought you would never wake up." I wanted to tell him about Nidra Devi, how one night while I was deeply thinking about my husband, she came to me and said that my husband has sent her to me. She told me that he wishes to stay awake to serve his brother and my sister every night for the next fourteen years and refused to sleep. Since it is against the law of mankind, she then asked him to name someone who would want to take his share of sleep for the next fourteen years. My husband took my name and asked Nidra Devi to pay a visit to me. At least he thought about me. I asked Nidra Devi to fulfil my husband's wish. Since then, I have been sleeping probably.
As if everybody was in a hurry. Mata Sumitra ordered my dasis to arrange my dress that has been specially chosen by my mother-in-law, handcrafted by young widows of Ayodha. She also instructed my cousin Mandvi to get the ornaments that she has specially selected for me. I wanted to tell her that I don't want to get dressed and wear these ornaments. I wanted to remind her that my happiness left me along with my husband's departure. And it isn't returning anytime soon.
"Urmila, you shouldn't waste anytime further. They can arrive at any moment. You should get ready soon. Mandvi and Suthakriti are going to take care of your Shringaar. You should look like a bride today. After all, you are going to meet your husband after fourteen years.
Hearing about my husband arrival feels surreal. I wasn't hallucinating when I heard thousands of people chanting. It is more prominent now that I am awake which also means they are not far away from entering the palace.
Mata Sumitra nodded in approval when my dasi told her the bath was ready. I felt like a bride but this time like a deserving one. Mandvi took me to the palatial bath. The vessel was filled with mild and rose petals. Other dasis took off my clothes and wrapped me around with bath cloth. They made me sit on the small throne and started poring fragmented oils on my body. I closed my eyes and tried to calm my jumping nerves. As excited as I was, I was even more excited thinking what will be his reaction when he would see me for the first time after ages. They took time and massaged every part of my body than help me to get inside the huge vessel.
"Today, I am going to make sure that you look so beautiful that your husband will regret leaving you here and not taking you along." cousin Mandvi chirped. I might have blushed because my dasi's were whispering about how beautiful I looked. She took some turmeric past and started applying on my skin. The coldness of the paste sends goosebumps all over my body. It was followed by sandalwood pack, which was then washed with rose water. I felt rejuvenated.
My hair was washed and dried with fragmented smoke and was left open. Sister Mandvi stuck some gold strings and pearl drops on it. My dasi's draped the blue silk dress. I loved the intricate gold and stonework on it. The blue colour reminded me of my husband. Suthakriti made me wear all those ornaments sent by Mata Sumitra, and I absolutely loved how Mata Sumitra took time to find the right ones. It suited my dress and the occasion. Finally, my sringaar was completed with the crown that was a gift from my husband on my wedding night. I looked at myself in the mirror and blushed furiously. As my sister Mandvi said, it would be difficult for my husband to take his eyes off me. I still cannot believe that he is back in the kingdom and to me.
"You are looking so pretty," Mata Sumitra's voice cracked as emotions started to overwhelm her. She took a pinch of vermillion and applied in my partition. "Now you look complete," she smiled.
I glanced in the mirror one last time before taking a deep breath. My eyes started to prick due to the rush of emotions. No, I refused to cry. I wanted him to see that I kept his promise. Not a single drop of tear came out from my eyes while he was gone. Only then I am free to cry as much as I want to.
Mata Sumitra ordered Sister Mandvi and Suthakirti to accompany me to the Raj Sabha and make sure to be by my side all the while. I touched her feet and took her permission. "Saubhagyawatibhawa," with that I took the first step towards my new life. The wait is finally over.
As we approached towards the Sabha, I could hear a huge commotion. Thousands of people were fitting with each other to see Shree Ram, Devi Sita and brother Lakshman. We took the private lobby to reach the private balcony dedicated to the Queen and the Princess of the Raghu Vansha.
The Raj Sabha was filled with Prajas and well-wishers. Brother Bharat eagerly waited for brother Ram's arrival. He was still holding the pair of wooden sandals that belonged to brother Ram. Finally, his wait will be over. His dream and his wish will come true. His brother will be soon crowned as the King of Ayodhya.
Slowly the crowd parted. Someone named Hanuman entered the room Sabha. One of my cousins explained who he was and said that Hanuman was the most devoted Bhakt of brother Ram. His contribution is immense in bringing back sister Sita from Lanka.
Hearing about my sister's sacrifice brought new emotions and sadness inside me. How like a selfish sister I was thinking that I was the only person who has sacrificed. My sister's sacrifice was much greater. She fought alone with all the Rakshasha Clan. Never losing her dignity. This is what love is, I realised then. She stood strong against all odds and proved her Satitwya in front of the entire world. I felt anger towards my brother-in-law who insulted my sister by asking for Agni Pariksha. How could he not trust his own wife?
I was fighting with my own thoughts when they entered making me freeze. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion after that. Brother ram and sister Sita entered first. The whole Rajsabha erupted with their Jai Jai Kaar. Hanuman guided them towards brother Bharat. When the hall started chanting my husband's name, he came in the view. He was right beside his brother as he was supposed to be. I wanted to break the rules and go running towards him not caring about what people might think about me. However, I refrained myself from doing so. Brother Ram demanded to meet Mata Kaikeyi first. Mata Sita and my husband accompanied him. He met Mata Kaushalya and Mata Sumitra in their private rooms. After meeting his mother he came and joined Bharat. We witnessed a very emotional scene in front of our eyes.
Gradually the crowd departed. Suthakriti held my veil as I made my way towards my husband. The whole time my eyes were on him but, somehow he refused to acknowledge it. My heart sank at the very thought. Why would he ignore me like? Still, I held myself strongly determined not to crumble. My sister Sita met me half way. I could hardly make out what she was trying to tell me. She whispered how sorry she was. She also whispered that its now time to meet my husband and be with him forever and that she will make sure that nothing of this sort happens in future. I could see brother Ram was asking his younger brother to go and meet his wife. However, his younger brother still refused to meet my eyes. And then it broke me apart. I collapsed on the floor touching his feet. He didn't move or react. When I looked up, he moved away crushing my heart into pieces.
"Arya? (Husband)" I called him in my shaky voice, but my plea was futile.
CHAPTER TWO
The Sun god took his time to set in the horizon. It looks like even he didn't want to miss the celebration. The vibrant vermilion on the sky was the nature's way to celebrate. As the Sun-god finally bide a goodbye, millions and millions of diya's were lite in each and every house of Ayodhya Nagri (town). The moonless night celebrated the festival of light. Homecoming of Raghuvashi Ram continued to flow in the entire palace and in every house.
When I entered my room after speaking to my sister Sita, the sweet smell of flowers assaulted my nerves. It felt like as, if I am reliving my wedding night. As I slowly walked inside the room, thousands of diays illuminating brocade sheets and golden carvings. My ornaments glittered as the lights fell randomly on them and my thoughts swan back at the Raj Sabha. My eyes pricked at the thought of his rejection. His ugly laugh devastated me more. The very last look at he gave me while exiting the Sabha tore away my last heartstrings. I was determined this time for the answers.
While I was in my room, I have overheard few dasi's talking amongst each other about my husband's rejection. He cannot insult me like this in front of the entire kingdom. If he doesn't want me as his wife he can just send me to Mithila. However, before that, he has to answer my questions. I looked outside the window and wondered what might be taking him so long to come to our room.
After a few minutes, my sister Shrutakirti entered my room. "Didi, Bhaiya Laxman..., she paused. My heart skipped a beat. What has happened to him now? And why is she here instead of him?
"What happened Shrutakirti? I panicked seeing her fidget with her dupatta.
"Bhaiya Laxman collapsed in Bhaiya Ram's chamber," she said holding my shoulders.
I was numb after hearing this. What might have happened to him I wondered. Without uttering a single thing I ordered her to take me to him.
My sister was sitting beside my husband and brother Ram was talking to brother Bharat when I entered inside their chamber. My sister looked really worried. "Didi, what has happened to Arya (husband)?
"I am so sorry Urmila, I don't know how to tell you this but Laksman is in deep sleep.
***
It was months until my husband woke up. Everybody was worried about him. My intuitive senses told me that this has got to do with Nidra Devi but I couldn't be certain.
The moment he woke up, his eyes landed on me. I could feel he was still disoriented due to the sleep yet I could see the pain in his eyes. I wanted to go near him to console but then thought it would be inappropriate in the presence of Mata Sumitra and Sister Sita.
I got up from his side and left sister Sita's chamber informing everyone that I am going to my chamber to arrange his bath and other necessary things. Sister Sita tried to stop me with her looks but understood my plea and allowed me to leave.
I expected him to stop me but he didn't. Just one look at me and then he shifted his gaze towards his mother. I think its time to live Ayodha because it is beyond my capability to take his rejection.
After a few moments, his brothers escorted him into the room. His steps were still wobbly due to lack of food intake. I have been in this situation so I know. He once again looked at my direction but this time I turned away in order to stop my heart from breaking further.
**
Chapter One
"Namah Shivaaya! Shivaaya Namaha! Namah Shivaaya! Shivaaya Namaha!
The chants were alternately repeated throughout Kailasha, joyously sung by the Shivaganas, headed by Nandi and Bringi, both of whom were decorating a huge Shiva Linga with vilva leaves. Their devotion shone through their loving decoration and chants, their hearts completely immersed in the ocean of Shiva Bhakti.
A beautiful, radiant, dark-skinned woman smiled as she felt their pure love, Her own love for Shiva shining like the Sun as always, Her beautiful hands decorating Shiva's dance anklet adorned feet with vilva leaves, Her loving heart wanting to sooth His feet, as always. Despite knowing that Her Lord is beyond pain, beyond emotions, Parvati still yearned to take care of Him. He, who is known as the boon-giver, agreed to allow Her Her wish, His heart smiling at Her persistent love and wish.
As Parvati touched His feet, She could feel His entire being thrum in happiness, a happiness that was even beyond the start of the Tandava-Laasya. Her mind immediately settled on Her brother MahaVishnu, who is the probable cause for the happiness that vibrated through Her Lord. Or maybe it was Her brother and Pitamaha Brahma, affectionately called Swayam, both whose names alone were enough to cause joy manifold to course through her Lord. She smiled, wondering what it was. Patiently, She waited, Her eyes fasted on Her Lord's moon face, losing herself to Him completely, forever immersed. Her eyes traced His closed ones, the ashes that decorated His forehead, the matted locks that adorned His shoulders, the top knot of His hair, where Ganga rested on one side.
Chandrashekara, He was called, due to the crescent moon He bore on His beautiful locks, was smiling in abundant happiness, joy and contentment etched in every bit of His fair face.
"Rama, He whispered. "Rama.
Parvati looked at Her Lord, a wide smile on her dark face. So it was indeed her brother who had given Her Shiva such happiness. His Divya Manava Avatara Rama is what had caused such joy to awaken in Kailasha.
The beautiful eyes of Shiva opened, His eyes meeting Parvati's fish-shaped ones, and He smiled.
"My love, look. Your elder brother has been named Rama. Rama is verily a form of the Pranava Mantra, said Mahadeva, smiling at Parvati's happy expression, knowing well that She loved listening to anything He said, though many of the happiest times were when Narayana was involved. Such was the power Narayana had over all of them, His very essence their immense joy.
"Sesha is called Lakshmana, He continued, "Dakshinavarta as Bharata and Sudharshana as Shatrughana, affectionately called Ripudaman and Ripusudan by the family.
"They are born for a tough life, is that not so, Swami? Parvati questioned, Her tone soft, voice mellowed into the pain She felt even thinking of Her brother struggle at all.
"They are Priye, as you very well know, He said, gently lifting her up and seating her to His left. Despite knowing everything like He did, She loved hearing it from Him, much like the other Tridevi did with their respective Lords. "Only some can handle the most suffering and yet smile through every second of it.
Parvati nodded Her head in acceptance, even as Her mind drifting back to when Her Lord suffered after She left Him as Sati. His pain was indescribable; yet His love never stopping. His love abundantly sang through the Universe, wrapping all His devotees with His blessing.
"Swami, She said, a little while later.
"Gauri?
"Swami, are you as excited as I am for Lakshmi's incarnation? She quizzed, knowing that She had diverted His mind from pondering over the suffering Her elder brother had chosen as Fate.
"Of course I am, He replied, giving Her a gentle smile, eyes knowingly fixed on Her own. "Where will Narayana be without my little sister?
Nodding, Parvati smiled, Her eyes roaming the vast expanse of Kailash. The bond Her Lord and Lakshmi shared was a special one; they were siblings and best friends, always.
"Gauri? said Shiva, a few minutes later.
"My Lord?
"My heart yearns to see Raghava, as does Swayam's He said, a smile on His face. "Do you want to come with us?
Excited, Parvati nodded, a wide smile splitting on Her face.
"Medha will also be coming, She announced, getting up.
Shiva felt His heart melt at the glowing sight of her beautiful face, Love filling His veins. She was His true half!
Four human years later...
Music filled every nook and corner of the Divine Loka, the dancing anklet sound vibrating through the Universe. The sound of the Veena, the joy vibrant in the Divine music had the world dancing to Her tunes, She who is called Kalaivaani, the Mother of all arts. Her happiness had everything to do with the newest event that was to take place in Prithvi Loka, precisely the Kingdom of Mithila.
"The time has come! The time has come! buzzed Narada, Satya Loka vibrating even further with his energy.
The Veena stopped, though the notes still sang through the Brahmanda, everyone lost in the bliss of the Goddess' music.
"Calm down, my son, said Saraswati laughing, shaking Her head at Narada's excitement. Sons and their mothers, She thought, amused.
"How can I Maa? Maa Lakshmi is going to take birth any time soon. Prabhu told me that today is the day Maa graces Mithila with Her arrival, said Narada, happiness becoming him.
"And Bhrata is always right. But you calm down, replied Saraswati, fondly shaking Her head. Narada was always excited when Narayana Bhrata gave him news, whether good or bad. "We are all going to Kailasha, as you well know, to celebrate the coming of Lakshmi with Shiva Bhrata and Gauri, for during Rama Bhai's birth, we were with the Devas, and all of us celebrated the subsequent birthdays of Bhai with Vishnu Bhrata at Vaikunta .
"That is why Pitashree is so happy then, teased Narada, as Brahma Deva entered the chambers where the mother and son were talking. "He is going to see Mahadeva.
"Ah Pitashree, whined Narada, when Brahma walked into the room and pulled Narada's ear, instead of verbally replying to Narada's good natured teasing. The melodious laughter of Saraswati filled the chambers, every corner of Satya Loka and the Brahmanda brightening up due to the bell-like sound.
"Let us go. Mahadeva and Parvati are waiting for us.
Chapter 2: Family
Joy was the most prominent emotion in Kailasha; joy, devotion and pure, unadulterated love.
The various Gods and Goddesses, the Shiva Ganas, all settled themselves in pure anticipation and excitement, all looking forward to the birth of MahaLakshmi as Janakanandini. The air in Kailasha was buzzing, delight filling every corner of the vast, endless Shiva Loka.
Karthikeya and Ganesha, the two sons of Shiva and Parvati, were seated on either side of Narada, both talking excitedly to him, telling him their joy at the approaching birth of their Maa Lakshmi, Narada, as always, adding his own words of wisdom.
"Pitashree, said Karthikeya, smiling innocently. "How is Maa Lakshmi going to be born on Earth this time?
Shiva narrowed His eyes at Karthikeya in a mixture of amusement and exasperation. "You sound way too much like your Mamashree. I am not telling you anything till your Maa is actually born.
The sound of amused laughter brimmed through Kailasha. Shiva and Parvati exchanged fond looks. Even as Parvati turned to indulge a rather whiny Karthikeya, Shiva continued to gaze at her in unadulterated adoration, adulation, even.
All this pomp, and ceremony reminded Him of the time when He and She had wed, Kailasha was reverberating with as much, if not more, joy, love and celebration. His smile was fond as He remembered - everywhere was decorated, not even one corner of Kailasha was spared in the exuberance of the Shiva Ganas and the joyous instruction of Medha and Lakshmi. Vishnu and Swayam had been laughing through everything, seeing the excitement that had been paramount in Kailasha.
"I have a question. said Narada, eyes twinkling with mischief. Shiva groaned playfully seeing the mischief in Narada's eyes, His own beautiful eyes teasing.
"Can anyone ever stop your questioning? sighed Tripuraari, making everyone laugh, and Narada pout. "Tell us Narada.
"Prabhu, the question is for Karthikeya and Ganesha.
"Ask them then, said Shiva, indulgent smile on His face, exchanging a fond, exasperated smile with Swayam.
"How is Prabhu Mamashree but Maa Lakshmi Maa?
Medha shook her head, laughing within, when Parvati's tinkling laughter rang through Her head.
This child of ours,' thought Parvati, laughing more. Of course he would ask these two such questions.'
Given that they keep switching between Mamashree and Pitashree for Bhrata,' thought back Saraswati, completing Parvati's thoughts. The two of them were always up to something or the other, their affinity toward Narayana more pronounced every second.
"Mamashree is the one who teaches us how to prank, replied Ganesha innocently, giving Parvati wide eyes. Rolling Her fish-shaped eyes at Her son's dramatics, She reached forward and pulled Him by the ear, causing the Elephant God to whine loudly, Karthikeya laughing at His little brother's state.
"What has you laughing, Skanda? questioned Shiva, pulling Karthikeya's ear, making Him whine as well, Kailasha echoing with laughter at the antics of the two sons of Shiva.
"Pitashree, oucchh. It hurts, He whined, pouting at Shiva. Shaking His head, Shiva replied, amusement laced in every word.
"I can see just what Narayana has taught you, Karthikeya.
"Swami, my big brother is innocent, retaliated Parvati, as always coming to Narayana's defense, Her love for Him a joy that arose within Her, delighting Shiva Himself.
"He is nowhere near innocent, Gauri, said Shiva, shaking His head, His hand still holding Karthikeya by the ear. "Narayana is why everything that is happening is happening. He is the start, the middle and the end.
"He is innocent Swami. You only taught Him mischief, She said, teasing smile decorating Her moon face.
"Did you forget Priye? I came from Him, said Shiva innocently, laughing when Parvati pouted. "He is the origin, so it is from Him that I even know what to do, how to do it. Everything I know came from Narayana.
"But Narayana Bhrata is innocent anyway, chimed in Saraswati, exchanging a mischievous smirk-smile with Parvati, the latter grinning sweetly at Her Lord, whose adoration for Her seemed to have begun anew.
Narayana, what are you doing?' He thought exasperated, mock glaring at Brahma, who was laughing at the words that echoed in all their heads.
I did nothing,' rang the melodious voice of Narayana in Shiva and Brahma's heads, making both of them smile immediately, their devotion entrenching Kailasha with Bliss.
You did everything,' said Brahma, sending Shiva a sly smile, both Gods silently agreeing to be on the same side.
Of course you both suddenly decided to do this to me. Poor innocent me.'
Does Lakshmi call you innocent?' piped in Shiva, knowing well what His Eternal sister called Narayana.
Unfortunately, no,' sighed Vishnu, always one for theatrics. It was no secret who Ganesha had learnt it from!
Hey, He is your son!'
He is more yours than He is anyone else's Narayana. As is Karthikeya,' said Shiva, laughing. Don't act Narayana. Swayam and I know your tricks, including all the drama you did when Parvati and I were to get married.'
Me? Act? What are you even talking about?'
"Swami? Swami?
Shiva came back to Kailasha, where everyone was looking at Him and Brahma expectantly, Vishnu's laughter echoing in their heads, their non-verbal answer giving Vishnu the answer to His question.
Karthikeya gave Shiva a pouty look, all wide-eyed, the typical supposed innocent look that He was sure Vishnu had taught Karthikeya. Shaking His head, He released Skanda's ear, who grinned and flopped down next to Narada once again, everyone now taking their old positions.
"You both are yet to answer Narada, said Parvati, amusement colouring her lilting tone.
"Maa, Mamashree teaches us pranks, Ganesha repeated, ducking when Parvati made to pull His ears again.
"You also call Him Pitashree, added Medha, laughing at the two sons of Hara and Gauri, Her love an abundant ocean.
"He is also a father to us, Maa Medha, said Karthikeya. "When He is in strict mode, He is Paa. Else, He is Mamashree.
Both threw a sly glance at their father, who gave them a mock stern glare, silencing their mischief immediately. Parvati let out a happy laugh, the joy of being with Her family increasing by the second. Her beauty radiant, and Shiva was unable to take His eyes off Her, drinking in the joy that was beautified as Her face expressed it. A light cough is His head alerted Him, His eyes meeting Medha's, which expressed happiness at Shiva's love. Shaking His head, knowing something was concocting in Her mind, He turned to Nandi, who spoke as Shiva turned, perfectly timed.
"Prabhu, Mata, I think Maa Lakshmi's birth is near.
Nandi's gentle voice made the two parents, Kailasha Naatha and Kailasha Swamini smile, their eyes meeting those of the other two parents', all four nodding.
"Come. Let us celebrate the arrival of MahaLakshmi Herself to Prithvi Loka, in the form of Janaki, the daughter of Rajarishi Janaka.
3- A Challenge
Mithila was barren.
Mithila was barren, yet the soil seemed to be dancing under his feet. Janaka touched the soil reverentially, feeling the burst of life that sung through the Earth, against his palm. It was as if Mata Prithvi Herself was going to come to him and stay with him. Shaking such thoughts off, Janaka got up once again and looked at his preceptor, Maharishi Yajnavalkya, to guide him into the next step.
"Janaka, here. Take this plough, which was placed at Narayana's feet this morning.
The learned Guru handed over a plough to Janaka, who took it gratefully, touching it to his forehead in devotion.
"Jagannatha RamaaPate! You are Everything in this world, the Creator, the Preserver and the Destroyer! Oh Lord of Lakshmi, who is the very Earth Herself! Prabhu, bless us that Maa MahaLakshmi blesses us once again, by being abundant in Mithila's fields as Dhaanya Lakshmi! Prabhu, bless us that Mithila will once again be able to do agriculture the way we always have, right from the start of the Chandravansha. Om Namo Narayana!
Saying thus, Janaka fixed the plough between the two cows, gently touching them in affection, and asking for their love, blessing and cooperation in succeeding in the task he was trying to accomplish.
"Trideva Paada Samarpanam, chorused the entirety of Mithila, every citizen, be they old or young, grandparent or child, all had come, all excited to see what Mata Prithvi was going to bless them with. Hearts filled with pure love and devotion for Prithvi, the daughter of Kaashyapa and thus Kaashyapi, the beloved of Narayana, thus NarayanaPriyaa. Within their hearts, they prayed, for prosperity and abundance to come forth to Mithila, to MahaLakshmi coming to them once again, this time as She who nourishes them, their Mother.
"Maharaja Janaka, start the ploughing, gently and lovingly, praying to Maa Prithvi with every step.
"As you say Gurudeva, said Janaka, praying to his Aaradhya Mahadeva, and starting the process, muttered prayers to Mata Prithvi within his heart.
"Gurudeva, why is there a mist forming over the field? questioned Kushadhwaja, the ruler of Sankasya, the younger brother of Janaka.
"Mata Bhumi works in ways we cannot understand, my son, said the wise sage, he who was credited with the Brihadaranyaka Upanishad. "She will have Her reasons. Do not fear. Janaka, you simply continue, pure love for Her from your heart. She will never harm you.
"Yes Gurudeva.
Janaka ploughed through, despite the mist growing stronger and stronger.
Everyone watched, as a swirl was created, so thickly translucent that nothing could actually be seen through it. Yet, it was not a wind that would push any away, but it stopped them from moving forward, the King now forced to anchor the plough in the Earth, heart praying that he did not hurt the Mother.
Yajnavalkya, Maitreyani, Katyanani and Gargi, the Gurudeva and the three GuruMata of Mithila watched in awe, as a golden light beamed, the Mother of the Universe, MahaLakshmi in Her form as Aadi Moola Prakriti, the power of the Universe, Aadi Para Shakti. Folding their hands, tears running down their cheeks, they bowed down to VishnuPriyaa, Her blessings wrapping around them as a mother's to a child.
"The start of a new Leela has come, oh learned ones, said MahaLakshmi, Her melodious tone invoking pure happiness in Nature. "My birth as the daughter of Rajarishi Janaka has also come. Following my birth, three more who are as much me as I am them will be born, and together, we will complete the family of Mithila. My Narayana will come for me as Raghunayaka when the time is right. Oh learned ones, I bow down to you, for you will teach me all that I am to know, and all that I will know.
Saying thus, the bright light of Aadi Moola Prakriti shrunk, the intensity the same, the size lessening, till a bundle with the same intensity lay, swaddled in rich red clothing, right at the head of the plough, which was then anchored to the ground.
"Sita. echoed the Universe, though the name was yet unheard, as a piercing cry rang through the fields of Mithila, the mist suddenly clearing, making all gape at the red bundle, she immediately becoming the fortune of Mithila, Maithili.
"Jai RaamaVallabhe! rang through Kailasha, happiness filling every pore of the Universe, the birth of MahaLakshmi creating such joy in the atmosphere. Parvati and Saraswati turned to their respective husbands, both who were now occupied elsewhere, smiles on their faces. The two Goddesses shook their heads, love and fondness present in every gaze, action, and every limb, they joined their husbands, all four parents looking at the pure joy of the One they worshipped,[3000 words] the birth of His other half giving Him the greatest happiness.
"All of a sudden, why do you want to marry me, Krishna?" With a perky smile, she had asked Krishna that day! He wanted to remind her of their eternal oneness at that moment!
" Radha, I attended a relative's marriage today. When I asked Maa why they are marrying, she told me if they marry, then they will be able to live together forever, will be able to meet the requirements of each other! "
"Forever? I questioned, Maa assured me, yes forever! Radha...please, let us marry to live together forever." Radha was trying hard to hide her titters which were spilling out from the corners of her lips, like a sparkling star's twinkle on the mirror!
"Ohh ... what to say, my eternal lover! This is not acceptable to the world! Society will never accept our out-of-the world relationship! They will demean me, I am already married and living with my family."
"Why is it not acceptable Radha? See, Lord Shiva had two wives, Mata Parvathi and Ganga. I heard that story from Maa ...and King Dasaratha had three wives. Don't you know those stories? If a man can have many wives, then why can't a woman have many husbands!" There was childlike mischief in his words, but it was a prophet's defining moment!
She caressed his curly hair and then tried to explain, "It is acceptable only to Divine Gods and mighty Kings! Not to a normal girl like your Radha!"
"Then I will become a God and a King so that I can marry you ", he persisted with a glint of excitement in his eyes!
It was a moment of sublime ecstasy...though their relationship was astral and divine which didn't require any societal acceptance to tie them in a matrimonial bond!
Cultural restraint has its tales of wisdom and morality. Radha tried to make him realize the prevailing norms of that time..." You are a God to us as our savior and the sovereign of this entire universe, already a ruler of our hearts! A woman is allowed to marry only one person. So I can't marry you, my dear infinite lover! "
Like the wavering light from the wick in its saucer of oil, the moonlight on his face made him look sombre and contemplative!
If a man can love many women, why can't a woman do the same? That was this divine being's question...Radha witnessed a determined Krishna, who was redefining many societal norms since his childhood in a sagacious manner, who was trying to curb many retrograde rules which were prevalent at that time. Today, he wanted to get a clarification from his Radha... still he was in an arguing mood!
"Is he asking my acceptance or searching for truth in a woman's heart about his unacceptable decision?" Radha was thinking,-- it was a process of social evolution since society as a living unit was undergoing a constant change. It has to evolve according to that Yug Dharma to the ethos of that ancient times! She looked at him, saw a resolution there in those deep eyes to lend a new definition to human relationships!
Is he trying to introduce a new norm, a refreshing society where a woman will get whatever she wants and hold her head high with self-respect? Does he want to give free will to the girl to select her partner?--
Suddenly, she was jerked back into the normal world with the incessant chatter of the maidens, while dipping their earthen pots into the river. On their way back, they came near to share a word with her.
"Radha! Did you get the invitation from your Krishna for his marriage?"
"What?? My Krishna is marrying? Whom? When? Who told you, girls ?"
"My husband reached home today morning from Dwaraka, he told me! Your Krishna abducted the princess of Vidarbha who requested him to take her away from her kingdom to marry her. Last evening, the bride and groom reached Dwaraka. Tomorrow is their marriage!" Megha answered.
She was befuddled, for a while silence ruled the surroundings. One by one, the maidens slipped from there watching Radha in her startled, benumbed state!
A roar of thunder in the sky... lightning flashed in the eyes of maidens. They informed her that Yashoda is distributing sweetmeats, celebrating the good news.
The gnawing pain in her heart made her restless and unknowingly she started walking towards Nand's house!
A maid with a message walked towards her. Radha looked at her questioningly.
"Yashoda called you immediately! Someone is waiting for you there!"
"What for? Is there any news ?"
" A pleasant surprise is waiting for you Radha! Come fast!"
Her eyes sparkled with anticipation. "What? Is Krishna coming to meet me prior to his marriage?"
The maid already disappeared into thin air, far away from her sight!
She was walking along the river's winding bank all alone!
******************************
She crossed the deep shadows of the tree-lined pathway. The sighs of the grass under her feet sounded like the yearning heartbeats of a lovelorn maiden. The air has seeped with the strong fragrance of the flowering trees. The trees were dancing as if they were choreographed by the wind in perfect rhythm with one another in that late morning. While walking towards Nand's house, Radha was recollecting her last conversation with Krishna when he met her before leaving for Mathura. He told her that the time had come to sacrifice the land of pleasure, his Vilasa Bhumi, for moving into the land of duty, the Karma Bhumi. He has to rescue the world which was descending into anarchy at that time.
"Radha, my quest is calling me. A duty-bound Krishna is marching towards Mathura, leaving behind a tender lover image for you. As a symbol of our love, I will wear the peacock feather on my crown. I always remember our moonlit night strolls and the cool comfort I derived from those precious moments. To recollect your musical words on such occasions, I will keep the bansuri with me. These two are the symbols of our love and will stay with your Krishna till his end. Radha ...please, nurture that tender lover in your heart with the same warmth you did till now, and one day I will be back searching for my true self, only to lose myself again in your entrancing embrace. Bless me Radha!"
"How can a heap of sorrow bless you, Krishna ?"
"I am seeking strength from the ocean of your love! From now onward, love is the pathway for both of us to meet in another realm. With your love, I'll establish a universal bonding in this world. Radha, bless me to lead that divine mission from the front!"
"How can your devotee bless her God Krishna? Living away from you means certain death to your Radha! My plight will be like a plucked flower which floats on the water moving without any destination! You are taking my life with you. My love will always protect you, will guide you throughout! Do your duty, your Radha is gifting her Krishna to the universe !" Before tears started flowing, she shut her eyes with the image of Krishna, deeply embedded and entrenched in them.
******************************
As she hurried towards Nand's house surrounded by all those fond memories, Vandana stopped her to ask, "Radha, have you seen that man from Dwaraka? He is looking like our Kanha, but there is no mischief in his smile! He is calm and composed like a priest! There is no Morpankh as his crown. Has our Krishna changed or is he someone else?"
Madhavi added --"Radha, I've seen a girl with a serene smile is sitting beside him on the chariot! Everyone is eager to see that couple.
While listening to their words in a state of incertitude, she started walking faster with a frown on her face! She knew, her Krishna will never allow even the breeze to touch his peacock feather, the symbol of their Love!
Radha was perplexed...stopped at the threshold of the house. She recognized the princely chariot at the front yard, the same one which had taken Krishna away from her many years back. The horses started stomping to get her attention.
With a titter, she patted on one of the horse's silky muzzle and whispered, "You must have carried Krishna to many places. Please tell me if he ever remembered me while traveling in this chariot?"
When Nand saw Radha there, he called her in, to introduce the visitors to her.
"Radha, he is Uddhava, Kanha's cousin and a friend just like Arjun, the Pandav prince. While Arjun is the son of Kunti, Vasudeva's sister, Uddhava is the son of Devabhaga, Vasudeva's brother. He was born and raised in Mathura, studied at Sandipani Ashram along with our Kanha. She is his wife Ujjwala. Devaki sent them to invite all of us to attend Krishna's marriage. Uddhava... she is our Radha, Krishna's childhood friend. When he was born, she was a nine-year-old girl who married our friend's son and was living nearby. Since childhood, they played, they danced, they fought and grew up together. She has taken care of him and taught him the worldly knowledge. We are villagers. How do we know the Vedas or warfare? We lead a simple life with limited resources. We weren't aware of his princely status, so raised him like a normal cowherd boy. He used to play with the Gopikas. In those days, he was the leader of our clan. My Kanha is a darling to all, with his naughty, playful, all-knowing smile he used to enthrall us! His presence was a celebration for our lives. With a humble smile, Nand started narrating Krishna's childhood pranks to the royal couple.
Radha looked at them like the sun watching the luminous reflections of its dazzling light! Uddhava realized that the eager and anxious milkmaids mistook him for Krishna.
He was stunned at Radha's mysterious grace... the flame of love hidden in her heart was illuminating the surroundings! Her face was shining with a divine glow! It was easy to see the glow but hard to recognize the stillness of silence in her heart! He was seeing her spiritual beauty which was unlike a whimsical creation of Brahma's imagination, but appeared to have been created by Brahma in a trance of self-realization!
Uddhava recollected Krishna's instructions to meet his Maa and Baba first and handover the bags of gifts and sweets to be distributed in the village. Krishna specifically instructed them not to mention his wealth and opulence in front of them. --"then meet my Gopikas who are rich in devotion, more affluent than us because of their selfless love for their God! You must meet my Radha there, who allowed me to enter into this world to explicate it, to preach the selfless love and finally to emancipate it from sin and pain. While talking to her you must be careful, never say any word about my struggles, she knows everything, just say that her Krishna is busy dealing with worldly attachments!"
As Uddhava looked at Radha...he realized her passion for Krishna turned her eyes into orbs of the brightest fire, that illumination which made her more beautiful!
Ujjwala gazed at Radha with awe... she has hair like the wind... wild and free. Eyes like the night... deep and mysterious. She is not looking like everyone. So divine!
Radha looked at Uddhava once and guessed, "Yes, what Vandana said was right! He resembles Krishna, except that Morpankh and that deep love for his Radha!"
Uddhava signaled his wife to go in with Radha. All the girls followed them in.
Ujjvala was surprised seeing the open expressions of these vraj girls. She knew only the royal norms and how to safeguard a girl's inner feelings. These cowherd maidens are openly expressing their overtures for their Krishna and teasing each other on that.
Radha sensed Ujjwala's bemusement. she explained, " For us, the universe is the embodiment of love...everything emerges from it and goes back into it. We are nature lovers, our expressions are like the sky mirrored in clear waters. Our love for our Krishna is innate. We never cared for the traditions and customs, our love for Him has transmuted into devotion now. Our life replicates the free-flowing River Yamuna.--
Ujjwala was surprised,-- how did she read my inner thoughts?
While watching her, Ujjwala recollected Krishna's words," My Radha represents my other half, which I left there, it is my past which shaped me and prepared me for my future pursuits. Radha is my Sakhi! Along the banks of the Yamuna river, she used to walk towards me in the middle of the night, in search of my love. We were two souls in communion with each other, not bound by convention nor burdened by the hierarchies of society, in which I am imprisoned now. Ours was an eternal quest! While talking to her, be attentive and observant Ujjwala, you have to share with me every word of hers after reaching back. Remember, she knows everything before you tell, she never likes to show her emotions to anyone but has an occasional smile on her face which enlightens the entire world, that is the inner beauty of my Radha!"
When they moved in, they saw Yashoda offering sweets and fruits to the Brahmins and neighbors. She invited Ujjwala with a fond smile and hug and came forward asking Radha, "...Did you get the invitation to your Krishna's marriage? Our Krishna is going to marry a girl called Rukmini on her request. In Dwaraka, everyone is celebrating! We are the last ones to know about it! I heard that the bride and groom reached the royal palace yesterday evening and tomorrow is their marriage!"
Radha saw an inexplicable twinge in that mother's smile!
All of a sudden Yashoda started imagining her son as a groom..."My son is so endearing Radha, so charming, will Devaki put a black dot on his cheek to ward off the evil eye to protect him from the envious glances of the onlookers?" A mother's concern resounded in those words! "He wears a bedecked crown, on top of it adorns the peacock feather. While accepting the Varmala, my kid has to bow his head to that girl! Will he do it gracefully or will he play mischief there?" A mother's imaginative bliss continued...!
Ujjwala was watching these two women with veneration.
With a low voice, Ujjwala explained," All of a sudden it happened. No one knew about this till Krishna brought his bride to the palace. Because of the paucity of time, Mata Devaki could not come personally to invite you all. In a trice, we became a part of the celebration. Now entire Dwaraka has transformed itself as a bride for our Krishna's marriage. While going back, we have to visit a few hermitages to invite the seers to bless the couple. So we request you to allow us to leave early."
Suddenly Yashoda asked Radha,"Devaki is inviting all of us, but you know me, I can't leave the house. That's why I am sending my jewelry to my Bahu as my gift, and for our Krishna,-- I know Kanha likes the black cow's milk most, so sending that cow for him as his mother's gift, to remind him of the tastes of his childhood! Our Gopikas are sending attractive gifts to him! What are you sending to your Krishna?"
There was a flash of lightning on the horizon. In that flash, the red streaks in Radha's eyes were clearly visible to Yashoda.
Is it a streak of longing for her Krishna or was it a young girl's anger on deceit of her lover? A mother's heart quivered with concern!
With a pale smile, Radha replied--" From where do I bring a special thing which wasn't His to gift him today? If the entire world is owned by him, then who is the presenter and who is the acceptor here Bhabhi?"
Ujjwala was trying to read the ongoing thoughts of Radha at that moment. She came forward and said, "The Vidarbha princess requested Krishna to marry her, Krishna saved her and accepted her love to fulfill her wish. While coming back, they stopped at Devi Maa temple for a while. There, Krishna collected some flowers from the floral bushes and creepers...with them Princess Rukmini made two garlands. He adorned her with one and sent the other one for you! Here is your garland Radha!" She gave it to her as if she was handing over the most precious jewel in the world! She continued ..."Radha, through his words I've heard many stories about you, how you shaped his persona and I realized that you are the most important person in his life. If you wish to send any gift to your Krishna, we will be happy to carry."
Radha heard her words attentively, accepted the garland with both hands, looked down for a while, then collected her wits back and slowly took Ujjwala's hands into hers while thinking..."She is from my Krishna's place, nearer to my heart, I can share my thoughts with her."
"What can a cowherd maiden send to a Prince, Ujjwala? We are not as rich as your Prince. I am sending this small gesture as an offering to Him. Touch his cheeks once with your hands on my behalf and say, these palms touched your Radha's cheeks, she sent her touch to you as her gift!" Ujjwala was stunned looking at her hands...tiny drops of tears stuck to her palms like well-crafted diamonds, glistening in that afternoon sun's bright rays!
Chapter 4
Next day as Urmila came out from her room, she saw her mother in law Urmila standing as if waiting for her. She touched Sumitra's feet and Sumitra blessed her and asked how was she feeling. Urmila said she was fine trying her best to hide her tears. Sumitra gently wiped her daughter in law's tears and made her sit.
"Beti Urmila only today morning I came to know that Lakshman had stayed in his private room yesterday and is going out today with his brothers. I had gone to meet him. But unfortunately, they had left for the tour.
I understood my daughter Urmila will be distraught on the happenings of yesterday and came immediately to meet you.
Mila don't worry too much. Lakshman had missed his brothers and this city so much. You know right how much he loved to roam around the city in his horse. Also, he would have been very tired and may not be in a position to talk to you. Would have wanted rest, hence he might have gone to the private room.
You also need to understand he has been in the jungle for fourteen long years and it will take him some time to adapt to the palace culture once again. So, I would request my Mila to give my son some time. I am sure once coronation of Ram is done, he will come to you. Now please cheer up. There are lot of things to be completed for coronation and things in this palace won't move without Mila.
Urmila laughed hearing Sumitra's comment. She knew her mother in law loved her very much and had always stood by her during tough times and have always given sane advice. She understood maybe she misunderstood her husband and truth might be what her mother in law had told. Her husband needs some time to adapt. He needs some personal time to relax and also enjoy the city. She got up only to see her sisters Sita, Mandavi and Kirti walking towards her.
"Urmila you are fine right. The moment I heard Lakshman was in his private room I was worried for you, asked Sita her eyes showing concern.
"Didi I am perfectly alright. Ma have spoken to me. Now you are going to be the queen. So please take rest as we three of us look into the activities of Ram jeeju's coronation, commented Urmila. Before Sita could protest sisters made her sit and ordered the servants to bring their didi's favourtie breakfast. Meanwhile Kausalya too came and sat with Sita having small talk with her and joining the breakfast.
Once she left Sita didi with badi maa Urmila got busy with preparation for coronation. She, Mandavi and Kirti ran around supervising the preparations and soon Urmila forgot her personal worries.
Lakshman looked at the city of Ayodhya. Though he had come with Bharat and Shatrughna somewhere in between he had taken a different route and had come to the less populated area of the city. He had always loved that place. In that place there was a small hill. From the hill top it was a beautiful view to see the entire Ayodhya. From teenage years the hill top was his escapade whenever his mind was troubled. He used to have a tent at the foot of the hill and stayed there for some days till his turmoil got cleared.
Only Ram bhaiyya knew this place. He had not told anyone else about it. Whenever he went missing from the palace bhaiyya used to assure everyone not to be worried about him. Everyone trusted Ram bhaiyya and he used to get his solitude. He hoped this time also his brother will handle the turmoil of him gone missing.
He unmounted from the horse, set up the tent and then slowly walked up the hill. Night was falling as he reached the top. He could see the city slowly getting lighted up with lamps and the darkness disappearing. He looked up. It was a star lit night. As he looked at the stars once again, he remembered his wedding night.
He entered the fully decorated room and saw his bride sitting in the bed fully dressed, with a veil covering her face. A smile spread on his face as he walked upto her. He had fallen for Sita bhabi's sister the moment he had seen her. But he never believed the girl who captured his imagination will be his wife. Now looking at her he felt he had got all the happiness in his word.
He sat on the bed and gently lifted the veil. He could see she was sitting looking down trying to suppress a shy smile spreading on her lips. He lifted her face and softly called her Urmila and got an even softer whisper in response.
"Urmila do you love to look at stars he whispered in her ears as he pulled her in his arms caressing her cheeks.
Urmila didn't tell anything and he repeated the question as he removed her nose ring and this time in a very soft voice Urmila replied she loved star lit sky.
"Urmila once the wedding festivities are over, I will take you to a place from where we can see the stars together.
Urmila kept her head on his chest and gave a silent approval as he removed her gajra and unlocked her hair.
This was the place he had wanted to bring her. He had wanted to spend time with her in the tent. But they never got the time. Before their marriage life could start properly the coronation mess happened and he went for vanvass. He never asked her permission when he took the decision. He never once thought how his new bride will adapt to the palace alone. At that time only Ram bhaiyya mattered to him and not her. He had left the girl to her bearings and had gone to accompany his brother.
Yes, he did the duty of a brother, but what about the duty of a husband. The question raised his ugly head in Lakshman's mind once again. From the hill top he walked towards the tent. He was not sure what he was feeling at that point. Shame, guilt. He only knew one thing. He was in no position to face Urmila. He had no right to claim his rights as a husband with her, while he didn't do the duty of the husband.
From the time he had entered the palace the servants had been talking about how dutiful bahu Urmila had been. How she had taken care of everyone. People only had good things to speak about her. But in return for all the good things she had done for his family he had given her only pain and tears. Lakshman didn't know when tears started flowing from his eyes an before he could realize he was weeping uncontrollably. He buried his head in the bed and allowed the tears to flow. He had to let out the pain to allow his wound to heal and if he needed to meet Urmila again.
Chapter 5
The morning rays of sun that fell on him made Laxman get up. He didn't know when he slept. The entire night he had thought about Urmila and her travails. Now he got up and walked to the nearby stream to wash his face. He knew the forest area was nearby and he could get fruits and vegetables from there.
Laxman had loved to eat and as he remembered how Sita bhabi had catered to him during their vanvass time a smile spread on his face. Bhabi had treated him more like her elder son than devar. She made special dishes for him and dotted on him. But his smile soon gave to pain as he remembered bhabi jumping in the fire to prove her purity.
He never understood Ram bhaiyya. He couldn't believe his bhaiyya didn't stop bhabi from taking that extreme step. He had seen how Ram bhaiyya had sleepless nights thinking about bhabi, how with single minded devotion he had crossed the ocean and fought the war. But in the end when he met her, he had asked her to go.
But bhabi was unwilling for the same and instead asked him to make the pyre and jumped in it. He felt more confused. People hailed him as the best brother, people hailed Urmila's sacrifice and people were singing glory of Sita bhabi's agnipareeksha. But why it all had to happen. Why people expect sacrifice, why certain things are hailed and other things despised. Sita bhabi had accompanied Ram bhaiyya yet the world didn't notice her sacrifice only questioned her purity. Urmila's sacrifice was hailed but people didn't understand the lonliness and pain she would have carried in that sacrifice.
Was this the right way of doing things. Or people think it is the right way. Ram bhaiyya had talked about perceptions. The long-held belief of people that defined their thoughts and actions. Each person's action was judged based on the perception and not with sound mind and knowledge. It was about what you know and it never considered what you don't know.
According to Ram bhaiyya the agnipareeksha was also to protect bhabi from perceptions. He had told people believed they knew everything and judged so fast. He didn't want anyone to point fingers at bhabi. Looking at the response during dinner two days back Lakshman felt Ram bhaiyya had succeeded. But he had not seen the joy in those eyes. Only deep pain and a helplessness of not able to remove that thorn of agnipareeksha for bhabi.
His thoughts wandered back to Urmila and he felt the fire in which he was cooking the vegetables was actually burning him. He didn't stop the feelings, he allowed those feelings to burn him. He wanted to get burned for not doing the duty of a husband.
Urmila was with her sisters in the garden of Ayodhya. Though the atmosphere of Ayodhya was jovial and the slight breeze in the garden the sisters look pensive. They had indulged in small talk for some time trying to cheer up each other but soon realized it was futile. All of them were carrying burdens in their heart. Sita was the first to open up.
"Mandavi, Urmila, Kirti I know there have been so many questions in your mind. I feel like we all want to pour our hearts out. When we all got married to four brothers, we had thought we will be having a happy time in Ayodhya. We will not be separated. But destiny had other plans for us. Each of us had to take a journey which was mutually independent. I went for vanvass, was captured and imprisoned in Lanka. Irrespective of being pure forced to give Agnipareeksha has the queen has to be chaste and the people need to believe it.
Mandavi and Urmila I know both of you have lived a lonely life in this palace without your husbands. Kirti our little Kirti carried the entire burden of the affairs of kingdom with Shatrughna. But at least she was with her husband and I know Shatrughna is very proud of her, mentioned Sita as she turned towards her youngest sister and caressed her cheeks.
"Didi how can you tell all these things so calmly. For me a storm has been brewing in my heart for the past fourteen years. See Maa Kaikeyi asked for the boons. Ram jeeju agreed to adhere to Pitashree's vachan's. I was completely with my husband when he told he wont ascent the throne. His anger towards Manthara and his mother was justified. But didi what was my fault in the whole scheme of things. What was the fault of praja of Ayodhya? Was it right on my husband's part not to support Shatrughna when he badly needed support in running the affairs of the state? Was it right on my husband's part to leave me in this palace and most importantly how could he take the decision of jumping in fire if Ram bhaiyya didn't return at the completion of fourteen years? What about the marriage vows he gave me? questioned Mandavi tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Didi I have no complaints of my husband accompanying you and Ram jeeju for vanvass. I knew it was the time Ram bhaiyya needed support the most. He was alone outcasted suddenly and he needed someone by his side. It was also the time the mothers in palace needed someone. I was happy to share his burden and do the needful for palace. But didi the way he has behaved from the time he has returned I don't know what to feel. Maa Sumitra tells he might not want to face me. He is guilty. But why didi. What use is the guilt now. We have already lost fourteen years of our life. The decision he took that day can't be reversed and I have accepted it also. But I can't accept him ignoring me now. If it continues, I will break for sure didi. Urmila can't take lonliness again. Sita could feel anger, desperation and pain in her sister's voce.
Kirti was silent and Sita asked her to speak. She told she simply didn't understand this man's world where there was one rule for man another for woman. She had tried to tell her heart again and again her Sita didi's agnipareeksha was needed but she was unable to accept it. Would a man's purity be asked to be proven the same way her didi's chastity was proven?
Sita consoled her sisters telling the old Ayodhya and its rules will slowly crumble. Their Ram jeeju was going to be the king of Ayodhya in another couple of days. He will remove all the outdated laws and will usher in a new kingdom with rules that respected the women of the land. He will ensure rules are same for man and woman. The sisters smiled and agreed to Sita mentioning they also were eagerly awaiting the new dawn in Ayodhya.
Chapter 6
It was coronation day of Ram. The much-awaited moment in Ayodhya. From morning the palace was bustling with activity as priests chanted auspicious mantras. Urmila was running around along with Mandavi and Kirti ensuring no last-minute glitches are there. Though busy her mind wandered thinking about her husband. She knew he had returned the previous day night and had stayed in his private room. Maa Sumitra had tried to console her that after coronation everything will be alright. But looking at how things are progressing she was not sure.
Urmila had seen her husband along with his brothers in front of the palace. Never once he looked up where he knew the ladies will stand. It was as if he was afraid to meet her eyes. Bharat jeeju had told her as usual he had split from the group and had gone to his secret hiding place. The secret hiding place from where stars could be seen. The secret hiding place which he had promised to take her. The secret hiding place which she thought he will take her as soon as he was back from vanvass. Many days of their separation she had lived longing to see that place, dreamt of being in that place. Now she is hearing once again he had gone there but not with her, alone. She wiped the tear that rolled down and rushed to check the coronation arrangements.
Soon it was time to crown the new king of Ayodhya. Ram sat on the throne along with Sita as priests completed the rituals. The guest list included Vibhishan and Sugreeva now kings of Kishkinda and Lanka respectively and the most favored allies of Ayodhya. Raja Janak had also come to see the coronation and bless his son in law. Altogether the atmosphere was filled with chants of Raja Ram ki jai. Urmila felt happy as she saw her jeeju and didi on the throne. Sita didi was looking happy and content. Why wouldn't she be. Urmila knew Ram jeeju cherished her like anything. He had crossed the ocean and fought the war for her. Though she had so many questions on agnipareeksha Sita didi had explained to her though she jumped in the fire just once, Ram jeeju had jumped in the fire again and again till she came out of it successfully.
Her thoughts were broken by Ram who called out to Lakshman. Urmila saw her husband moving forward but as usual he didn't glance sideways. Ram asked Lakshman whether he could lead the team that was going to east with a message from king of Ayodhya extending hand of friendship. Lakshman was so glad to accept and Urmila stood there numb. That travel meant her husband would be gone for another month. But she couldn't complain as Bharat, Shatrughna and Hanuman also got similar order to accompany teams in west, north and south direction respectively.
Lakshman heaved a sigh of relief. Ram bhaiyya's order meant he will be away from Ayodhya at least for one to two months. He didn't have to find excuse to avoid Urmila. He was still not prepared to meet her. But he knew if he stayed in Ayodhya and continued in his private room either his mother or Ram bhaiyya will ask unpleasant questions on why he was not going to Urmila. He was also not ready to face those questions. Because he was not sure whether he could convince them on what he was feeling at that point.
The trip to hill side was helpful. At least he was able to pour his guilt out and shed tears. He understood the extent of the pain he had carried in his heart. But he didn't know how to heal that guilt. How to overcome it. Maybe in the travel he will get some kind of idea how to overcome his guilt.
Urmila sat in her room. The coronation festivities were still happening outside. She knew Sita didi and Ram jeeju will be observing the festivities from palace terrace. Shatrughna and Kirti had gone outside to enjoy the festivities from the banks of sarayu. Bharat jeeju had decided to take Mandavi didi to the fair that was happening in lieu of coronation. All her sisters were enjoying the day with their spouses. Only she was alone in her room on this beautiful day. She too wanted to stand on the terrace or banks of sarayu. She too would have loved to visit the fair with her husband. But where was her husband. None saw him. Sita did had informed he had gone to make arrangements for his travel. Urmila knew as usual the footman will come and inform her, her husband had proceeded for travel.
She stood in front of the mirror and looked at herself. Why her fate was like this. Her father had spoken to her that day. It seemed Sita didi had hinted to their father on Lakshman's behavior. Though he didn't ask anything directly he asked her to stay strong. He requested her not to fill her mind with negative thoughts and mentioned all that happens for a reason. So, whatever is happening in her life at that point would have some reason too. The day she realizes the reason she will be happy it had happened. Her father had echoed the thoughts of her mother in law. But nothing assured her. She just wanted to know why her husband was staying away from her. Then she realized that she had always feared whether the vanvass will make him lead the life of an ascetic for rest of his life. Now his actions showed maybe her worst fear was coming true. Once again, she sat in front of mirror and cried not knowing what to do.
Lakshman packed his bags. He had had a brief meeting with his father in law Raja Janak. His father in law didn't reprimand him directly but he felt he was indirectly questioning him on his aloofness towards his daughter. Well he couldn't fault Raja Janak. Any father in his place would be concerned for his daughter. He wanted to tell his father in law not to worry. He loved Urmila immensely. He respected and adored her like anything. He knew he had become the model brother because of her. He knew he had survived death because of her commitment and purity of heart. His daughter was a noble woman and deserved the pedestal. The real problem was that pedestal. In front of her sacrifice he felt so small, so inadequate and he was unable to meet her for those reasons and he needed time to overcome those feelings. But he didn't tell Raja Janak anything and had stood silent and only gave courtesy replies. He didn't know what his father in law would have felt as he took leave. He promised to himself once this trip was over, he will make effort to mend their relation and then at the earliest he will take his wife to Mithila to meet her family. A smile spread on his face as he thought about it.
Chapter 7
Urmila looked from the terrace of the palace as the team of Lakshman left for visiting kingdoms in the east. Though she didn't expect her heart hoped her husband will turn back and look towards her. But he didn't and she sighed. She was getting used to this life low. It was as if loneliness has become her lifelong companion. But this time Urmila decided she was not going to keep quiet. She had never questioned her husband's love for his brother. He had never questioned his decision to accompany his brother leaving her. But once he is back and still if he was not coming to meet her, she will question his decision.
Urmila knew she had reached the end of her patience. No words of Maa Sumitra or Raja Janak could calm her.For long she had never questioned the sacrifice that had been demanded out of her. But now she wanted answers. Not questions and orders. She decided to go to the banks of Sarayu. That place had always offered her the solace when her mind was troubled.
Night was falling and Lakshman decided to camp in that area. If they go further it was forest and he didn't feel safe to take the entire caravan through forest during night. He instructed the commander in chief to set up tents. Soon tents were sent up and the servants started serving dinner for the prince and the caravan. For dessert it was ladoo. As he saw ladoo Lakshman remembered Urmila. Ladoo was her favorite dish.
"Sumitranandan I have a confession to make, Urmila smiled sheepishly at her husband as he entered their room. It was just one week into their wedding.
"What happened Urmila, why are you apologizing, asked Lakshman his eyes showing confusion.
Urmila just brought out a dabba in front. There were only two ladoos in it. Lakshman was surprised. Ma Sumitra always send dabba full of ladoos whenever they were made in the palace. Then he understood why Urmila was apologizing. She might have eaten ladoos sitting alone. He had gone for horse riding with his brothers and was late.
"Sumitranandan ... Urmila tried to explain and Lakshman put his fingers to her lips.
"Urmila, I had overheard Mata Sunaina telling you during bidaai not to over eat ladoos the way you eat in Mithila. You were now going to your husband's place and you need to be conscious of it. Don't worry. I usually distribute the sweets Maa sends among servants too and eat very little. I only have one request. Whenever you get ladoos distribute among them too. They will feel happy. I have learnt this from Ram bhaiyya.
Urmila looked relieved and she mentioned her Sita didi was also like that. She also cared for everyone in the palace and shared things with the servants. But somehow when it came to ladoos she had been unable to follow her didi's path. She assured him going forward she will keep in mind that she distributes ladoo too among servants.
Lakshman smiled inadvertently thinking about Urmila's cute antics.
"Prince Lakshman what happened. Why are you laughing. Share the joke with us also, he was brought back to reality by Sumantra's voice. Lakshman looked up to see all faces staring at him.
"Minister Sumantra I guess the prince is reminded of his wife Urmila, teased Jabali who was also with them. Soon the discussion diverted to Urmila and the princess's supreme sacrifice. Once again everyone began to sing praises of Urmila and Lakshman wanted to move away from that place.
He had understood it was not Urmila's choice to be a Goddess. She would have wanted to lead a simple normal life with her husband. But then everyone made her a Goddess by making her walk on the thorns. They refused to see that bleeding heart and unending tears. They were happy that the system they had created was surviving. Somehow, he finished dinner and paid courtesy good night to everyone and returned to his tent.
As he entered the tent his thoughts wandered to his sister Shanta. Ayodhya hailed Shanta's sacrifice of leaving the palace and marrying a rishi. It was hailed that because of her sacrifice Ayodhya got its heir in Ram bhaiyya and along with him three more boys were born. At that time, he had also believed the story and had revered his sister. But at that point for the first time the thought crossed his mind whether his sister did the sacrifice from her heart or like Urmila she was also given no choice. The pain of their father of not having a son and him constantly feeling inadequate because of a lack of son forced that sacrifice out of her. He was not sure. But he decided that once he was back from his mission, he will definitely go to meet his sister Shanta, he will talk to her. Maybe she would be able to help him how to overcome his guilt. For the first time since he returned to Ayodhya Lakshman felt an inner peace as put his head on the pillow.
Urmila continued sitting in the banks of Sarayu and observed the water flowing. Many times, she had thought whether the feeder to Sarayu was the tears of the women of Ayodhya. Today she felt her thought was correct. After Lakshman had gone to vanvass Urmila was involved in the affairs of the state and it was then she had come to know the story of Putrakameshti yajna. It was done by a rishi called Rishisringa. This rishi was leading a life of brahmacharya and guru Vashisth had mentioned to King Dasrath that only if that rishi married, he can do the Putrakameshti yajna. Hence women were sent to the rishi to lure him into a married life and finally the princess herself went to lure the rishi and succeeded.
Mata Kausalya cried over the loss of her child Shanta. She lamented on how the sacrifice was not really Shanta's choice but was forced on her. She talked about the dreams she had for her daughter's wedding. Mata Kaikeyi was the most hated woman in Ayodhya as she was responsible for sending Ram jeeju for Vanvass. But Urmila had come to understood Mata Kaikeyi for all her flaws was a brave woman. She had rescued her husband from injury in the war injuring herself.
Actually, Mata Kaikeyi loved King Dasrath but he had married her to beget a son and had promised her father he would make her son the next heir. But when Ram jeeju was born the king forgot his promise and actually Mata Kaikeyi only fought for the right of her child. World despised Kaikeyi while king Dasrath went scott free while he was equally responsible for the mess that wreaked havoc their children's lives.
Then there was Sita didi and her agnipareeksha. None saw didi's pain as they hailed their sacrifice. Of course, she and Mandavi didi. Mandavi didi had also shed enough tears in lonliness. Who would have consoled her if Bharat jeeju had jumped in the pyre? People will tell jeeju did the duty of a brother. But what about jeeju's responsibility towards didi? Well none cared. People expected men to be good sons and brothers only. It was women's job to be good wives and mothers while the men didn't contribute anything to the marriage. A sarcastic smile spread on Urmila's lips as she thought about the real condition of women in Ayodhya. They were called Goddess, they were worshipped as Goddess but just like the idol of the Goddess they were expected to be deaf and mute and only watch the happenings in front of them. Accept the offerings given and bless the men with what they want.
She slowly got up from the river bank and started her walk back to the palace. She didn't want to feed Sarayu more with her tears. As she entered the palace, she saw Maa Sumitra standing near the room. Before Sumitra could speak Urmila told
"Maa I have been to the banks of Sarayu. I know you have come to assure me that things will be fine. But I can't be assured Maa. I want to speak to my husband. Only then my mind will be calm.
Sumitra caressed her daughter in law's cheeks, "Urmila I didn't come to assure you. I just came to let you know have courage and please understand your Maa is always by your side. Urmila smiled at her and knowing her mother in law was by her side suddenly Urmila felt calm as if her heart was telling things will be fine.
The night before the war
The Pandava family assembled in Yudhishtir's spacious tent,the night before the commencement of the Great War.
The shores of Hiranvati river,sheltering the army camps got lit up by torches.
In the evening ,Dhaumya did Homa and offered oblations to all the gods. Dharmaraj Yudhishtir looked calm and composed.He reconciled to the fact that war is inevitable to get their kingdom back
.Bheema is beaming with pride.'Finally I can do justice by punishing the criminals of Draupadi. And Mata Kunti also endorsed the war. What more do I want? Let the Pandava scions reign supreme." He pronounced his feelings and got shouts of applause from every one.
Dhrishtdyumn promised total commitment towards the purpose.' I will fulfill my duty as the Sarva Senadhipati. Brother in law Arjun has so much faith in my ability. I will never let him down." Arjun smiled at him in appreciation.
Abhimanyu came forward and confessed.' On behalf of my brothers and myself I promise. We will keep the Pandava glory fly high.Kauravas will taste what Arjun's son can do to them. Those who insulted my Jyesht Mata have to count their days now onwards."
Abhimanyu hugged his father and Arjun lifted him up like he is a small kid. With moisture in his eyes he admonished him.' My son. We are there to face them. You are our future hope. Don't be aggressive in the battlefield. All of you stick together and do only that what is entrusted to you.Think of Uttara. She needs you more."
Krishna got up, walked to Arjun and smiled.' Parth,A lion cub never stays back. He is Arjun's son and Krishna's nephew. At what age you fought your first war? That too with the great Drupad?Think over."
Drupad laughed broadly and added.' Abhimanyu,!Your father is too young when he defeated me and earned fame. I was awestruck on seeing the clarity,precision ,lightness of hand and the speed with which he overpowered me completely. Your father is equally adept at sword fight. In a brief while he exhibited his extraordinary skills in such a manner that I was desparate to make him my son in law at any cost.And the rest is history."
Abhimanyu and the boys clapped gleefully.
Bheem assured Abhimanyu.. You will earn great fame through your exploits. This war will bear testimony for your excellence. Son! You will make us proud.
Arjun stood up and walked out taking leave followed by Krishna.
Krishna asked him " Still pondering over the propriety of war? Only one night left to move ahead with your Gandiv. Don't entertain dilemmas and doubts.
Arjun paused and then said .. "The War will take away lives on both sides. We also have to lose our dear ones. Why can't we send our sons away from war? They will at least remain safe to continue our legacy.
Krishna chuckled. Pandava legacy will remain safe. But that doesn't mean you should hide your successors and deny them the honour of participation.They should do their duty...which is more important. Now stop bothering about your sons and take rest. The great begining for a new future awaits Aryavarth..
Cgapter 3 ..
That dawn was not like it used to be ...thought Panchali.. It will decide the future of Pandavas. It will let Aryavarth change for better..
She was optimistic about the outcome of war. She knew they will win come what may. Govind stood by them by being the charioteer Of his Parth.
But only one doubt is left in her mind. Will Arjun fight with his full mettle? Specially towards Bhishma and Drona? His dearest grandfather who did not take initiative to prevent her insult in Kuru Sabha...his revered Preceptor who could not raise his voice against adharma...still gets the same honour and regard.
Draupadi knew only Arjun is in dilemma not her other husbands. But she can not help in any way..Krishna alone can make him see reason..that whoever sided with adharma should be punished...
The First Day...
Yudhishtir was The first to arrive at the worship place where Draupadi is waiting with Aarti thali.
Where are others? They should have been here by this time. We should reach the battlefield in time.He said with anxiety.
Bhima and Nakula came together. They are looking excited enough to commence the first day with a triumph over the rivals.
Bhima assured Draupadi...The countdown begins. I will punish your offenders very soon..
Panchali nodded her head..
Sahadev. joined Nakul and bowed before Durga.
He informed..All our sons are equipped with their weapons. They said you already blessed them with Arti...
Draupadi said with pride. " They were the first to arrive here..
And we are the last to arrive...Krishna said entering with Arjun.
What happened? Why were you late? ..Bhim asked Arjun but Krishna is quick to respond.
Your brother had a face off with Pitamah Bhishm early in the morning. Both grandfather and grandson exchanged pleasantries and refused to come out of Hiranvati river but Duryodhan came there and reminded his commander in Chief Of his priorities.
Arjun remembered his brief moments spent with his Pitamah. He heard his affectionate voice echo in his ears again.
I am waiting for the arrows released from Gandiv to caress me all over. Don't deprive that bliss of me.
Yudhishtir looked at Arjun and said.. "I decided on Achala vyuha for our army..Spies brought the information that they are forming Manusha vyuha. Do you have anything else in mind?
Arjun nodded his head...Your choice is my choice. I will let Drishtdyumna arrange Achala which is also called Vajra vyuha for us. ".He said instantly.
Yudhishtir said ..Fine..Then let us move to the field of battle and form the Vyuha. It takes time.
Arjun took Aarti and bid farewell to Draupadi ..He said while moving away...The security for our camp is tight. Still if you find any lapse send messengers.
Panchali...tried to suppress her apprehensions regarding his mindset..hoping for the best...Krishna's smile offered her solace.
It was not far away from the camp but Arjun felt he is travelling miles ..He could see Krishna driving his chariot with a serene expression on his face.
Arjun turned his head and observed Drishtdyumn commanding the army with great confidence. When he addressed the army and the akshouhini commanders,Arjun could see the silence and attention with which he was listened.
Arjun sighed with relief. He was the one who nominated Drishtdyumn for the chief commander position. Krishna supported him.
Somehow he did not want to burden his father in law Drupad with the responsibility..He ,at his age should have relaxed freely with his grandchildren but the insult done to his daughter had shaken him severely..He nourished UPA Pandavas in their absence along with Drishtdyumn..
The warrior who was an accomplice of his preceptor Drona wore armour at this age...Arjun could not help but look at his father in law who was a little behind Abhimanyu..
Krishna turned back and assured...Your father-in-law can fight with menace even now. Don't worry about him.
Before Arjun could reply Abhimanyu rode past their chariot and prevented Krishna from moving ahead.
Abhimanyu shouted in excitement.' Pitasri where shall we be in our Vyuh?"
Arjun smiled at him and said.' Your Mama Dhrisht will be the peak.You and your brothers be with him.Bhrata Bheem will be just behind to take care of you .
Your Pitamah Drupad and Maharaj Virat will be in north and South
. Your Jyesht Pita Yudhishtir will be in the middle of the vyuha.
Atthe backside Raja Dhrisht Ketu and Chekitan will take their places."
And where will you be Pitasri?" Abhi asked.
Krishna said with a meaningful smile.' Just opposite Santanav Bhishm along with Sikhandi."
Arjun became serious and signalled Abhimanyu to leave the path.
The Pandava army marching ahead is optimistic and enthusiastic.
Yudhishtir had a contented expression on his face. Arjun knew the reason. The sacrificial fire lit up by Dhaumya in the early hours rose higher without smoke and to the right side. It was a good sign and indicate success in endeavour.
Spies informed that Duryodhan's sacrificial fire was covered by smoke and kept to the left direction which was a sign of loss and destruction.
Krishna alerted Parth...See your grandfsther's vyuha was arranged...take inspiration from the old warrior.
Arjun shrugged his shoulders and checked the vyuha of Kauravas..that was quite imposing. Pitamah availed the large numbers he had to his advantage..he hailed in appreciation.
As the chariot entered the war Zone Arjun could see Drishtdyumna arrange their army in the form of Vajra,Indra's thunderbolt. He saw every one take their places as instructed by the chief commander.
While Arjun's chariot aporoached ,everyone shouted in joy. Drishtdyumna asked him..Did I need to do any changes?
Arjun. answered instantly..Nothing . You did well but Keep Dhrishtaketu With Virata And Chekitana with Maharaj Drupad..That is essential to balance .
..Drishtdyumna understood ". Virata and Drupada were aged warriors. Hence Arjuna wanted them to be with younger maharadhis.
Abhimanyu shouted..When will the war commence? The Sun has risen already..
Arjun signalled him with his eyes and said...Let Pitamah blow the conch. Then your Jyeshtpita will sound his conch. That will be the moment to start attack..
At that moment the Chariot Of the chief commander of Kaurava army,Santanav Bhishm came to the front and took the place at the head of their vyuha.
Arjun asked Krishna..Will you take the chariot ahead to the middle space?. I want to have a look at their army. I want to know whom I have to fight.
Krishna drove the chariot to that place from where both the armies are getting clearly visible ..He stopped the chariot and kept his whip aside...Look at both the armies..but make it fast. We have to take position.
Arjun kept his hand above his eyes as the morning rays of the Sun are obstructing his vision.
He first saw the white umbrella of his Pitamah Bhishm..Then his white turban,..the white colour extended to his beard and then his white armour..His white garments completed the full whiteness which is the symbol of peace that pervaded all around making his silver white chariot glint in white . His white horses looked impatient to be standstill..and waited to gallop ahead.
Arjun's vision blurred due to the moisture in his eyes..Anytime a teardrop may fall down indicating his emotional trauma.. Arjun closed his eyes and heard the affectionate voice of his Pitamah..calling an eight year old boy with dark complexion...
Arjun was running faster and faster in the corridors of Hastinapur.The little toddler did not stop till he reached his Grandfather's chamber.
Bheeshm was seriously in conversation with border Security officers.Generally Bheeshm goes to confidential chamber meant to discuss these things.But since he is unwell due to his mental agony caused by Pandu's untimely death, he called them there only.
Suddenly he felt the tiny hands of Arjun round his neck looking at him in anticipation.His clothes are dusty and his feet carried the dust into Bheeshma's White Dhoti and spread over it.
Bheeshm looked down into the hazel eyes of the kid and immediately got connected to them. Those eyes are sharp ,intelligent and at the same time captivating. Arjun muttered under his breath.' Pitasri I am sad..hurt.." Bheeshm melted at his innocent banter.' Arjun I am not your Pitasri I am Pitasri to your Pitasri.Call me Pitamah."
Arjun repeated the word Ppitamah with curiosity.
.' Why are you sad and hurt Arjun? " Bhishm asked him placing his hand on his head.
Arjun became dull.' Pitamah,My bow was crushed by Dussasan. It was broken."
Arjun looked up and pleaded with him in hesitation...May I get your bow Pitamah?
Bheeshm could not see tears in Arjun's eyes.He wiped them and said..Arjun..my child! You can not lift my bow. I will get you a new one.
He then looked at the officers and ordered.' Go and get a bow for my boy in his size .I don't mean wooden one."
The officers looked at each other. They came there to discuss the hostile Yavana king but now they were entrusted with another job.They ran as fast as they can. Arjun's eyes twinkled with excitement.He stood on Bheeshma's lap and kissed him on his cheek to express his happiness.
Bheeshm made Arjun sit properly and started. You know Arjun in our Kuruvamsh great archers were there in the past...
Arjun forgot his sadness and listened to the stories of his ancestors.
Within two hours Arjun got his unbreakable small designer bow made by the chief Architecht of Hastinapur.As he fixed the arrow on it,Bheeshm couldn't believe his eyes.
Such precision at that age? He wondered and blessed him with pride..You will enhance the glory of Kuruvamsh.
Now he has to strike that Pitamah who loved him so much?
Arjun sighed and turned his face to the right of his Pitamah. There he is..his Guru Dron.His dignified countenance,the detached look in his eyes made Parth..reminisce his golden past.
Eight year old Arjun was spell bound on seeing the way the ball came out from the well. The urge to do it himself and the love for his bow did not let him stand still. He was instrumental in bringing his Pitamah there and the rest is history
How could he forget the voice that dictated him,demonstrated him,encouraged him and made him the best in Aryavarth.!
How could he shoot his arrows on his most revered Preceptor who loved him more than his own son Aswathama?
Arjun stared at his beloved Guru. His voice rang in his ears.
What did you see Arjun?
Only the bird eye Gurudev..nothing else...Arjun could hear his own voice.
Shoot...an excited Drona ordered.
There was the sound of a sharp crack and the bird fell,hit only in the eye with great precision.
Arjun could see the smile on his Guru's face even now.
..How could he aim his shots at him ,who graced him with such affection ..!
To his right, Drona has Aswathama ,his dearest son.
Arjun could not help but wonder..Is he really the dearest son? Years back in Gurukul ,Drona found an unexpected competitor for his paternal affection in the form of himself.
Aswathama used to say..that his father forgot who his son actually was..Aswathama or Arjun?
Aswathama also said that he never had seen his father so enthusiastic and energetic while teaching his students..specially when he was teaching his special student Arjun.
Aswathama was always a friend of Duryodhana in Gurukul..But he did express his admiration for him whenever he,Arjun excelled in tests..
He could still remember his words when he saved Guru Dron from the crocodile.
I could not do it for my father..You did it with presence of mind. Now you really deserved his love more than me.
Aswathama's confession embarrassed him then but not now...he understood how much his preceptor loved him ..that he chose to impart the knowledge of Brahmasira only to him..Aswathama was not instructed withdrawal..
Parth..How long would you like to live in your past? Come back to present. Every one is looking at us to hear the sound our conches. Santanav Bhishm is waiting for us to get back to our position. " Krishna looked back and alerted his cousin.
Arjun wiped the sweat on his forehead.
Krishna continued..Angaraj Karn won't fight it seems. He pledged that he will enter battle field only after Bhishma's fall. He was angry with your Pitamah for degrading him as a warrior..Bhishm called him Artharath.
Arjun retorted with a frown..So..he is pretty sure that my Pitamah will fall down.!.He must have forgotten his valour..he defeated Parasurama himself..
Krishna declared with a decisive tone..Parth..No one is beyond fate..Every one has to end his journey at some point. That applies to your Pitamah also.
Arjun has moisture in his eyes . He then turned his face to see Duryodhan ,much right to Aswathama..looking impatient as usual.
What did he achieve by doing all that he had done? Arjun wondered.
Arjun could not help but reminisce the most dreaded moment of his life. The Dice Hall. Panchali's humiliation.He could see the scene before his eyes because hardly could he overcome his anger towards his helplessness in shielding his wife.
Chapter 4
Panchali had tears rolling down. Dussasan is pulling her upper garment with force and she won't be able to resist anymore.
Her saviour, her Bhagawan has to come and redeem her.Panchali closed her eyes and prayed.' Hey Krishna,Govinda,Vaasudeva,Narayana Hare,Pahimam,Rakshamam." ..
Narayan ,Pundarikaksh,Jagannadh,Panchali's Govind and Parth's Madhav lifted his hand. Graced his Sakhi with unending ,lustrous long garments that covered her fully and made Dussasan tired of his attempt.
The garment became a big hill of sorts making the onlookers wonder and praise the devotional power and chastity of Draupadi.
Arjun opened his eyes to see the grace and love of Madhav that made His Krishnaa stand tall while all the others looked like pitiful creatures who will be burnt by the power of a sati.
He sighed with relief ,with tears in his eyes. ' Madhav, you kept your promise. You redeemed us. You stood by your Sakhi and proved your love for her. You gave me life." Arjun thanked his Madhav again and again.
Arjun forcibly pulled himself from that heartbreaking incident of their lives.
But could he take away life from his cousins who are fools and ignorant of the outcome of war? Could he deprive his Jyeshtpita Dhritarashtr and his Jyeshtmata Gandhari of the shelter of their sons in the last phase of their lives?
Arjun desparately nodded his head. The whole clan will perish. Sons,grandsons ..everyone.
He turned his eyes towards Jayadhradh ,the husband of his only sister Dussala. Could he make her a widow for no fault of her?
He still remember how Jayadhrath crossed the limits by abducting Draupadi..on that day.
Chapter 5
Panchali moved away from him trying fiercely to balance her feet and not giving him opportunity to touch her.Jayadhrath laughed with amusement thinking that finally he is able to have the most beautiful woman within his reach.
. Yajnaseni 's eyes turned red. ' you are a fool Jayadhrath,you consider me helpless? Are you in your senses to realise with whom you are rubbing shoulders? I hope you will come to terms with your destiny when you see Savya Sachi with Gandiv in his hand. Your eyes will wide open when he burns your army like forest fire.You need not wait too long. Very soon you will hear the Twang of Gandiv.Then your senses will stop functioning. Get ready to face the arrows of Gandiv.And Ofcourse Bheem will never leave you at all. His mace will cause destruction.Remember,If it is too late even Eldest won't forgive you."
Jayadhrath laughed loudly looking at her with lust. ' Daughter of Drupad! You look too beautiful even in anger. And your hair,I never saw such luscious hair for any one."
Jayadhrath tried to touch her curls greedily.Panchali threatened him. ' Dont ever dare Jayadhrath!You will get burnt here itself."...
When Dhaumya informed them with tears what happened in their absence,Pandavas got into a state of anger,Shock and disdain. Dhaumya regretted.' By the time I heard her calling Arjun and Bheem for help,the chariot went far away.I fear they must have gone too far. Rajkumar Arjun,Bheem hurry up. Otherwise the queen will get into serious trouble."
Arjun pulled up his quivers took Gandiv in hand and urged Bheem.' Let us go Bhrata before that wretched Jayadhrath crosses the forest.Bheem was already in hurry to rush fast rolling his eyes.
They both went ahead of the other three who followed them behind. Arjun told Bheem that it is necessary to stop Jayadhrath from moving out of the forest.He shot his fire arrows even without seeing the chariot before his eyes.
First the Twang of The Gandiv was heard and then Jayadhrath's chariot horses looked bewildered as they were stopped by the line of fire created by the arrows released from Gandiv.
Jayadrath peeped behind and saw the Five Brothers.Two of them are nearer to the chariot and the remaining three are behind. He asked Panchali .' Describe the Pandavas. I want to hear from you."
Panchali laughed gleefully. ' Now I am relieved. I saw them together coming to punish you .I have no fear.See,that Eldest who can forgive even his rivals.He always try to follow dharma.
Now see BheemSen who is rolling his eyes. He will never leave his rivals alive.
See the Twins,They are dangerous to those who try to harm them.
Now see Arjun,Even if you hide in heaven,he can find you out and kill you.
Before Jayadrath could do anything Arjun killed Five hundred chief warriors of Jayadrath.He immediately killed twelve Sauvira princes. Soon the whole place has been covered by head less bodies and body less heads.Bheem killed elephants and horses with his mace.
Jayadrath started shivering. That much destruction in that less time span? He realised the truth of Panchali's words. Just then Arjun shot sharp arrows and killed the horses of his chariot.
Panchali laughed at Jayadrath. ' Didn't I tell you,before? Coward. Do you have guts to face arrows released from Gandiv? Have an answer for the onslaught? Whose wife did you cast your eyes upon? They are Pandavas.Now endure the result of your misdeed."
Her words made Jayadrath overcome with fear.He jumped from his chariot ,ascended another chariot and fled. Immediately Arjun and Bhim reached there .They entrusted Panchali to Sahadev . They asked him to get back to hermitage with her and others.
Arjun approached Bheem and alerted him.' Stop it Bhrata.. Stop killing innocent warriors. The real culprit fled away. Let us catch him alive."
They both followed Jayadrath who is galloping in his chariot.He already crossed kros distance,away from them..Then Arjun who is unshaken despite not seeing Jayadrath any where nearer shot a Divine astra that sped fast and killed his horses.
Sindhuraj was spellbound on seeing such expertise that made Arjun shoot the horses from such a long distance. He looked back and saw both Bheem and Arjun approach him on horses. He regretted.' My lust made me see this day.I provoked that Arjun who is invincible .I should save my life from Bhim."
Jayadrath started running fast and Arjun laughed at him and shouted..Stop there Jayadhrath.You should have guessed the consequences before you did the shameless deed. You should endure the punishment.
Arjun and Bheem finally traced Jayadrath and Bheem started kicking him left and right. Blood flowed from his nose and Arjun pulled Bhima back.' Stop it Bhrata. Let us take him alive." He said.
Bheem shouted loudly.' Don't be that soft.Arjun,The crime he committed is unpardonable.Still for Eldest I am leaving him as of now."
Jayadrath was thrown at the feet of Draupadi.She smiled with contentment.
Yudhishtir councilled him in his own way.' You are the husband of our sister Dussala. How could you attempt such henuous crime? Learn to worship Dharma by standing by it."
.Bheem burst out.' There is only one punishment for him. Death punishment.And I will carry it on."
Panchali said in a soft voice.' Leave him alive. He is our Dussala's husband." Arjun looked at her with appreciation.Yudhishtir applauded her.
Bheem took an arrow from Arjun and shaved off his hair leaving five parts and declared.' Jayadrath!Now you are our servant. Wherever you are remember it." Jayadrath folded his hands and left.
Arjun desparately stared at Jayathrath. That day they saved him for the sake of Dussala. How could they kill him now forgetting about their sister's happiness?
Krishna turned to Parth and declared..I will take the chariot back to our place. See how your Eldest is looking confused at our stay here in the middle of the armies? Look at your Bhrata Bhim Who is impatient that you are causing delay in commencing battle?
Arjun again wiped off his sweat. His fingers lost grip on Gandiv. His knees turned weak and can not support him to stand. He got reeling sensation..He stammered helplessly..Madhav I can not fight..
Dhritarashtra asked Sanjaya to narrate the incidents at Kurukshetra with the Devine vision he got by the blessings of VedVyas..
Dharma Kshetre Kurukshetre Samaveta ...Mamakah Pandavaschaiva Kimakurvata Sanjaya"
What did my sons and Pandavas do having assembled there at Kurukshetr which is the Dharmakshetra?
Sanjaya was bewildered on hearing the question. The way Dhritarashtra distinguishes between his sons and Pandu's sons..is that not the reason for this Great War to happen?
Kurukshetra is Dharmakshetra. Dhritarashtra knows that but still he is blind with his obsessive love for Duryodhan. Had he tried his best ,he would have averted this unwanted calamity that is about to strike Kuruvamsh...Sanjay sighed with despair.
When Veda Vyas granted him Devine vision,Sanjay did not know how blessed he is going to be. How fortunate he is to become the only person to witness the universal form of the Lord himself along with Arjun. But destiny knows the fact. That is why along with the whole creation,destiny is waiting with bated breath for the glorious moment to unfold the eternal truth.
The war drums were sounding higher and the war music was the only thing heard ...Everything around blurred in his vision. The music did not uphold his spirits as it used to do in every battle he fought..The greatest warrior of Aryavarth felt his knees buckling and he has to clutch the pole of the chariot for support. He tried not to fall back and began stuttering.
Through the moisture of his eyes Arjun again looked at his grandfather who was standing as if waiting to hear the conches blown by him and Krishna.
Arjun wished he could question him..Why did you let us be sent to Varanavat?Why did you let Draupadi be insulted in the savagest way ever devised by men?Why did you let the Dice game happen? Why did you not stop us from going on Exile? Why did you not command Duryodhan to accept Krishna's peace proposal?
Arjun closed his eyes and tears rolled down his cheeks to be wiped off by the hand that always held him with affection and made him feel rejuvenated in any mood,that he was in.
As he tried to open his eyes gradually he felt the soft yellow upper garment of Krishna wipe away the tear drops.
Arjun clasped his hand firmly ..that hand which belongs to him,who is his life support system.
Krishna stood erect,,gazing at his friend and infusing strength through his touch..he knew the moment has arrived..Krishna looked up..the morning Sun is in full form as if to be the first one to hear him along with Arjun.
Dharmaraj Yudhishtir sat in his chariot in deep thought. He could see the two Krishnas,away from their army,in the middle and at the corner. It is too difficult to fathom what is happening inside. Why are they not getting back to position? The question that he found no answer yet, is framed by his brother.Bhim.who else?
Bhrata! Why is Arjun staying there and wasting time? Why such delay in blowing conches? If you agree I will go there and fetch them back..Bhim asked with impatience.
Sahadev interrupted Bhim and said..No Bhrata. Let us wait with patience.
Nakul took Bhim's hand and said..Let us go to Drishtdyumn and check our vyuha once. One round we go,I am sure we will hear Panchajanya and Devdutta blow and indicate the commencement of war.
Chapter 6
There was silence but for the banners flickering in breeze,and little bells when horses moved .He could hear even elephants breathing.
The war drums stopped as the conches are not lifted above. The silence lengthened. The army waited.
Arjun looked around again and nodded his head in despair.
Krishna goaded him...***Speak up Parth..say what is nailing you at this moment. I am here to listen.
Arjun started in a broken voice,looking dejected. " Madhav! Just by watching my people on both sides,my body is trembling ,my mouth already dried up..See..my Gandiv slips from my hand.
I see bad omens..indicating the disaster ahead.
Krishna has a smile on his face..his Parth is in serious need of his councilling.The warrior par excellence could not bear the trauma of fighting his own people.
The future of Aryavarth depends upon Arjun's effort ..He should play the most prominent role in establishing dharma...Krishna knew what to do ,how to do..
Arjun continued..I don't need power,enjoyment,riches..For what purpose I need them?
Those who assembled here are ready to die..I don't know who will survive.
See my Pitamah..I love him dearly. How could I strike him down? He came all the way to Indraprasth to express his delight when I returned from my northern Rajasuya conquest. I still feel the warmth of his hug...Arjun reminisced that moment..
The Rajasuya preparations are going on at a fast pace. Of the four Pandavas who went on conquest ,Arjun was the last to return. He went in northern direction up to Uttar Kuru regions in Himalayas. The wealth he brought was huge. Camels and elephants carried the precious jewels and gems..to the outskirts of Indraprasth.
As Arjun alighted from his chariot he was welcomed by his Madhav,his Eldest,Bhim and Sahadev.
Krishna hugged him tight and said...I am counting time..without you I am getting bored..but really great your conquest is Parth..You made the empire of your Eldest the most prosperous in Aryavarth..
Bhim lifted him up and applauded..Proud Of you Arjun.
Yudhishtir patted him and revealed..I coined a new name for you..Dhananjay.
Dhananjay..my blessings to you ..
Arjun heard the most familiar voice .He turned around and could not believe his eyes.
Don't you want to hug me Arjun?
Arjun looked astonished. The next moment he ran into the arms of his Pitamah.
He clung to his neck just like he used to do in his childhood. He had tears in his eyes.
You remembered your promise? He asked in broken voice.
Why would I forget? You made the impossible possible . You brought Aryavarth under the same chatr. Is this a small feat? Bhishm questioned him with a proud smile.
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