OS: Confessions!

"I love you" her words traveled to him yet again in a whisper.

As those words hit him in a slow wave, it sounded so natural and right. Those three words felt like the most integral part of their life. It felt as if he already knew, even before she said it, like it was the most obvious thing. Even as he felt the sense of rightness in those words, he was yet overwhelmingly uncertain.

He turned his back on her as if to hide the emotional turmoil he was going through. Only one name repeated in his mind over and over again,

Roshni

Arjun's life.

His first kiss.

His first intimate touch.

His first love.

His only love.

Until now, until Sakshi. He hated to admit it but the absolute fact was, that he fell for her a long time ago. He fell for her when they argued, he fell for her when she challenged him, he fell for her when she told him what she truly saw in his eyes. He fell for her when their eyes met for the very first time.

Yet, he couldn't. He just couldn't...

"You...you and I, it can't happen Sakshi -"

"Why not?"

"Because I am saying so -"

"Arjun, look at me. Please, just...just look at me and say that -"

Arjun closed his eyes which stung with tears as he heard her words, the confidence and belief that he'll not be able to lie looking at her. He chuckled sarcastically and when he opened his eyes, determination spilled out of them. He truly believed she deserved someone better, and not broken. No, not at all broken like him, someone more complete and happy and for that he was ready to do whatever it takes - even sacrifice his own happiness. He turned around to face her. His eyes locking with hers in an intense glare.

"It's not going to happen!" He said firmly.

"Can't you at least give us a chance?" Sakshi asked exasperated.

"NO! Because I can't give you what you rightfully deserve. After Roshni I...I am a different man Sakshi. You deserve more and much better..."

There was silence as his words lingered in the air around them. Sakshi gasped as what he said sunk in.

"Don't you dare make my decisions for me ACP Arjun!" she spoke through clenched teeth. Her eyes shut as the tears glided down her cheeks. She took a deep breath and did not even bother to wipe off the tears as she looked up at him again and spoke,

"Who I want to spend the rest of my life with, is my decision. Don't make my decisions for me!!" she screamed.

There was absolute silence for a few seconds which was cut short by Arjun's heavy sigh. He ran a hand over his face and through his hair before it fell back to his side limply.

"The decision is already made, Sakshi" he said firmly before averting his gaze from her. He slowly walked to the window and took a deep breath,

"You should head back home, it's getting dark outside"

~oOo~

She handed him the neatly typed out paper. Sameer read over it a second time just to make sure he read it right the first time. When he finished reading, he took a deep breath. He let the paper fall onto the desk slowly before looking up at her.

"Are you sure you want to leave ETF?" Sameer asked, his voice suggesting his clear intent against her decision to leave.

"I can't stay and keep thinking what could happen if he just -"

"He loves you. You know right?"

"Did he tell you that?" Sakshi asked him with a sad smile.

"No, but anyone can tell just by looking at him. Can't you?"

She can. But, that was the hardest part of the whole situation. She knows he loves her, she knows he cares but she just can't seem to make him accept his feelings for her.

"He loves me, but won't show it or say it. How do I deal with that??" she asked her chief and a friend. Silence followed as Sameer seemed to be lost in deep thought staring at her resignation letter. The frown between his brows smoothened as he looked up at her.

"Sakshi, it's hard for some to express their feelings and in Arjun's case, well he...he would top that list. All I am saying is, he'll come around. He'll figure it out and when he does, he'll come looking for you. Just don't give up on him...not yet."

Sakshi looked at the man standing in front of her intently, who happens to be a part of another messed up relationship involving Mr Rawte...

Sameer walked around his desk and gave her a hug. Parting from her, he asked,

"Have you told Ayesha yet, that you are leaving?"

"You are the first person I told" she replied.

Sameer nodded, "Well let me know when you are planning on telling the rest, I'd rather not be in that room. We have some rather dramatic teammates"

Sakshi gave him a shaky laugh before suddenly asking,

"Was it hard for you?"

When Sameer looked at her puzzled, she elaborated,

"Was it hard for you, to tell Ayesha how you felt?"

"Aah, yes. You have no idea how long it took me. It's just hard to show that kind of vulnerability, just goes against the grain for a lot of us."

Sakshi rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Men!" she exclaimed before walking out of his office.

~oOo~

Pain. As if someone put a hand right through his chest and was crushing his heart between their fingers. He always felt that, only now it was ten folds worst.

He would solve cases as usual, he'd talk to his teammates as usual. An outsider wouldn't see any difference in him, yet, he was.

If he was bad after Roshni's death, he was worst after Sakshi left. There was just more pain, more emptiness, more uncertainty and fear - as if he was letting something very precious go. Arjun threw the pen he was twirling between his fingers across the room with such force, that it hit the opposite wall and fell to the ground in two pieces.

"DAMMIT!!" his scream sliced through the pin drop silence in the office.

Why couldn't she just let him be like the others? Why couldn't she just leave him to his pain and misery? Why did she have to force herself into his life and make him feel and live again? Why?

He thought he had his feelings in check around her, he thought he was pushing her away. But it hit him like a ton of bricks to his chest, when he realised Sakshi has unknowingly become a vital part of his life. She left and the mere absence of her presence around the office has took a toll on his life.

A low creak of his office door made him look up. To his surprise Sameer walked in casually, as if it wasn't the middle of the night and they were the only two left in the office in this odd hour.

"What are you still doing here? I thought you left" Arjun said.

"I was about to leave when I heard...well I heard you" Sameer replied.

Arjun remembered his frustrated curse a few moments ago and sighed nodding.

"Are you going to stay for -"

"Yeah!" Arjun answered him before he could finish. Sameer nodded and turned around to leave but stopped at the door. He drummed his fingers on the door frame as if thinking over something before slowly turning back to face Arjun.

"You know you are turning away from the best thing that happened to you since Roshni?"

It wasn't a statement, it was a question. As if asking him if he was really that stupid to not see what he was doing. Sameer looked at him, more like glared at him for a few seconds before he cleared his throat and turned on his heel, leaving the office without another glance at him.

Arjun kept staring at the door, watching Sameer's retreating form. He got a glimpse of his long lost friend. A friend he needed badly at the moment, and he got him, though it was only for a few seconds because with the next blink of the eye he was gone. Nonetheless, his one question has guided Arjun to the right path.

His one question raised a lot of other questions in Arjun's heart and mind that all seemed to have only one answer - Sakshi Anand.

~oOo~

The knock on the door startled her. Her gaze fell on the clock hanging on the wall before going back to the door hesitantly. She took a deep breath and looked through the peep hole, her heart sped up seeing who was on the other side of the door. She immediately opened the door.

"Arjun, what are you...I mean at this time of the hour...is everything okay?"

"Sakshi, why do you love me?"

Sakshi had to actually take a step back and look at him keenly to see if he was alright. She stared at him blankly for the longest moment before asking,

"How do you expect me to answer that question? Seriously?"

Arjun took couple of deliberate steps into the house, forcing Sakshi to take a couple back to keep the distance between their bodies. He closed the door behind him and wrapped a strong arm around her waist and pulled her close. With the other hand he tucked a lose strand of hair behind her ear and asked again in a temptingly husky voice,

"It's a simple question Sakshi, why do you love me?"

Sakshi just stared at him and his out of the blue romantic actions. It took her a few minutes to find her voice and string together some words that would make sense and do not make her seem insane,

"Well...well it...it is not as simple as you seem to think ACP Arjun. Even if your question is simple, my answer is definitely not. I didn't just wake up one day and decide to fall in love with you...it...it was a gradual process. It may have started off with something small but, I came to love everything about you as days passed. I - I love you because...because you are you. Okay, now that sounds corny but...you...you know you should...you..."

She started to stutter more and more as Arjun pulled her flush against his chest and gazed at her intently.

"I could...I could tell you a list of...of things I...I love about you. Or maybe, write all the things I like about yo...you. Like...like a list you know. You...you will know for sure why I love you then. Or maybe I should..."

"You know it started off as a really nice, emotional speech but you sort of got off track there in the end" Arjun interrupted. All the while his hand went up and down her back, tracing her spine.

"I - I did?"

He pursed his lips together and nodded seriously before a very rare, huge smile broke out on his lips. His forehead rested on hers as he took a deep breath of her lavender fragrance and sighed,

"You are crazy. I could really do with some craziness in my life right now Miss Anand, and I would love it, if you were the source of all the craziness"

Sakshi pulled away from his slightly and looked at him with yet another blank face.

"Are you...? Wait, is that you confessing your feelings for me?"

Arjun chuckled and nodded.

"Well, that's just...that's not going to cut it. You put me through hell in these past few days ACP Arjun Suryakant Rawte. You will have to do a better job at confessing then...that" a small pause before she quickly added, "And I am not crazy!!!"

Arjun just couldn't keep the smile off his face as he pulled her into a tight hug and exhaled, contentedly. In that one action he left behind all his heart ache, his pain and suffering. He was going to start everything anew. He believed she deserved a better, more complete person. Now, he wants to become that person - for Sakshi, for himself.

"I am still waiting for the confession" Sakshi softly sang in his ears.

He laughed and pulled away from her. Holding her by her upper arms he made her sit on the couch before kneeling in front of her so they were at eye level.

"I love the way you make me feel Sakshi, I love how you come up with your little, sometimes very lame jokes just to make me laugh, I love that even with me resisting so much, you entered my life and brought happiness with you, I love that you are so patient - well you kind of have to be when I am involved, I...I...I love you Miss Sakshi Anand, just because you are you!!"

There was silence for a few seconds before Arjun took a deep breath and quickly said,

"Huh! You thought you were being corny...now try beat me!!"

Their laughter broke through the silence. Sakshi slid off the couch and wrapped her arms around Arjun, streams of tears flowed off her eyes as she held him tightly. He held her back with the same ferocity and they stayed like that for what seemed like forever. A sense of peace and serenity finally taking over their hearts.